Slurs Jokes
30 slurs jokes and hilarious slurs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slurs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Slurs Short Jokes
Short slurs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slurs humour may include short slang jokes also.
- if Elon Musk had a dollar for every racial slur & sexist slur on twitter... Oh, wait- he does.
- Had an idea for a Scrabble like game where you can only use racial slurs as words. The object is to see who can out trump who.
- People are saying Donald Trump is wearing dentures after he was slurring his speech yesterday. I think this calls for a molar investigation.
- I was taking a stroll through the town when i saw a midget go up to a black man, and mutter a racial slur I turn to my friend and say, That's a little racist
- My dad had the worst temper when he watched sports. One day it got so bad he ripped off his shirt and began shouting racial slurs... Really ruined my little league game.
- Article adjective noun verb preposition proper noun... Pronoun verb article adjective ableist slur!
- What's a pirate's least favorite letter? (ok, you really have to slur this to make it sound right)
The Scary Vee! - Everything is a choice. Black people can choose to get offended by black slurs,Asian people can choose to get offended by Asian slurs,White people can choose to get offended by black slurs.
- What do you call a borderline racial slur about a person of Asian decent? A slippery slope.
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Slurs One Liners
Which slurs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slurs? I can suggest the ones about slab and cursing.
- A Linguist, a musician, and a content creator walk into a bar They all start using slurs
- Yo-yo ma goes into a new bar and starts slurring his phrases... The crowd goes wild.
- what do you call a term used to discriminate against music notes? a racial slur
- What do you call a computer that auto corrects all slurs? A pc pc.
- What's it called when you start typing in slurs? A keystroke
- Alex Trebek said a racial slur in an interview His job is now in Jeopardy
- What do you get if you cross a black guy with a racial slur? Shot.
- Why did the j**... slur his speech? Adiction.
Witty Slurs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about slurs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slam jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slurs pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two drunk people are sitting at a bar having an argument about Coronavirus.
The first one says "You're just trying to scare people. You don't know anything."
The second replies, clearly fed up with the first, "I'm a doctor! I'm paid to know these things, I have a PhD and everything!"
The first one slurs back, "Well ***I*** have a ***DhD.***"
The second says, exasperated, "What the h**... is a DhD??"
The first cackles, "You're some doc if you don't know what ADHD is!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Of all the racial slurs, "c**..." has to be the laziest.
A black guy probably came up with it...
Driving Home Drunk
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wasted
A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best l**.... She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?" "We might as well," slurs the husband.
"I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.
His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.
When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a d**....
He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
A zookeeper walks into a pub with an elephant
and orders two beers. After a few hours and a few more drinks, the elephant collapses drunk on the floor. As the zookeeper stumbles for the door, the bartender calls after him, "Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' here!" The zookeeper slurs, "That's not a lion; it's an elephant."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A p**... drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...
When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.
He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"
The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"
The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:
"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust...
I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.
Two Scotsmen are drinking in a pub...
...discussing insurance.
"Aye," says Jock, "I had a friend who killed himself for the insurance money."
"How much did he get?" asks Donald, interested.
"Nothin'," slurs Jock, "it was only Third Party."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day a kid is late to class
Kid: Sorry I'm late
Teacher: Go and sit down and you'll spend your break time in here with me
Kid: Thats not fair, I had an issue with my kitchen appliances
Teacher: Is that meant to be some kind of joke, we will discuss this in your time, not mine
*The teacher turns up to the detention 10 minutes late*
Teacher: Sorry I'm late
Kid: Well why were you late?
Teacher: You see, my kitchen appliances came to life and were misbehaving and using racial slurs
Kid: The p**... calling the kettle black
Teacher: How did you know?
Two drunks
Two drunks were drinking on the roof of their trailer late one night in Texas. The first drunk looks up at the night sky and says to the other "The moon is so big, I been wonderin... Whad'ya think is closer, the Moon, or Florida?"
The second drunk gives his friend an amused look. "You can't be serious.." He slurs
The first drunk looks back at his friend in confused anticipation "Well?" he asks.
The second drunk then rolls his eyes and laughs. "Well.. Think about it. Can you see Florida from here?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Topical Jokes for 10/26
(for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host)
In Dallas, a man was arrested after he attacked a man in a pink shirt, while shouting homophobic slurs. Because what could be less gay than freaking out over another man's outfit?
In California, a man robbed a convenience store, only to return later to apologize and give back the money. The cashier accepted the man's apology, then shot him eleven times.
Scientists in Switzerland used a spectrometer to determine that the Rosetta comet smells terrible. And these scientists know about bad smells, because they spend all day sniffing Uranus.
The reality show Here Comes Honey Boo Boo was cancelled after it was learned that Mama June was dating a convicted r**.... Previously, she'd exhibited better judgment, by only dating rapists who had never been convicted.
Bernard is sitting at the bar and slurs to the barman for another drink...
the barman, hearing how much he's clearly had, decides that it's time to chaperone this man out the back door, citing that he's clearly "had enough" for the night. A few minutes later, Bernard stumbles through the front doors again.
"BARman! Cahn ah plish haaav' adrink!"
The barman, again, doesn't want to disturb his customers, and escorts Bernard, discreetly, out the back door. "Bernard, you've had enough tonight. Go back home!"
Again, he stumbles in through the door, collapses on the chair and repeats his demands.
"Bernie, how many times am I going to have to tell you...you're drunk! Go home!"
Bernie fixes his wandering eyes on the barman and exclaims in exasperation, "Shishhhh, man! How miny baars do you work at??"
A man finds his friend drunk at a bar
His drunk friend is staring intensely at his soup.
"Hey buddy, what's up? You ok?"
"Nah man -slurs his friend drunkenly-, this soup man, it won't let me eat it"
"What do you mean?"
"It just won't let me eat it! It's impossible to eat!"
"I'm sure you can eat it if you try"
"IT JUST WON'T OK? You try and see for your self"
The guy, amused, obliges, and tries his friend's soup, while the drunk friend stares in disbelief.
"That's amazing! I've tried to eat it three times, and it just comes back into the bowl!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Grandpa told me this one
A lady has been sitting at the bar all night pounding down drinks and she's completely hammered. She's so drunk that she can barely talk, but she's trying to converse with the bartender anyways.
"You know, I really like these martoonis," she slurs, "but I don't like the cherries in them, they give me heartburn."
The bartender looks at her for a minute, shakes his head and replys: "First of all, lady, those aren't martoonis, they're martinis. Second, those aren't cherries, they're olives. And that's not heartburn, your t**...'s in the ashtray.
