Slurs Jokes
39 slurs jokes and hilarious slurs puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slurs that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Slurs Short Jokes
Short slurs jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slurs humour may include short slang jokes also.
- A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m. ...and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician...
I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12. - if Elon Musk had a dollar for every racial slur & sexist slur on twitter... Oh, wait- he does.
- Had an idea for a Scrabble like game where you can only use racial slurs as words. The object is to see who can out trump who.
- "I'm not serving you," said the bartender. "Too drunk." "Sober up then you idiot," I slurred.
- People are saying Donald Trump is wearing dentures after he was slurring his speech yesterday. I think this calls for a molar investigation.
- So I heard Microsoft pulled the plug after their chat robot slung slurs, ripped Obama and denied the Holocaust... I guess there wasn't enough room for two Trumps in the Republican party.
- I was taking a stroll through the town when i saw a midget go up to a black man, and mutter a racial slur I turn to my friend and say, That's a little racist
- My dad had the worst temper when he watched sports. One day it got so bad he ripped off his shirt and began shouting racial slurs... Really ruined my little league game.
- Article adjective noun verb preposition proper noun... Pronoun verb article adjective ableist slur!
- What's a pirate's least favorite letter? (ok, you really have to slur this to make it sound right)
The Scary Vee!
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Slurs One Liners
Which slurs one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slurs? I can suggest the ones about slab and slaps.
- What do you get when you get a bunch of white supremacists drunk? Racial slurs.
- Why do Scotsmen drink so much? To slur their speech enough to do the accent.
- Why can nobody understand the drunk racist? He always slurs his slurs
- A Linguist, a musician, and a content creator walk into a bar They all start using slurs
- What do you get if you cross a black guy with a racial slur? Shot.
- Yo-yo ma goes into a new bar and starts slurring his phrases... The crowd goes wild.
- what do you call a term used to discriminate against music notes? a racial slur
- What do you call a computer that auto corrects all slurs? A pc pc.
- What's it called when you start typing in slurs? A keystroke
- Alex Trebek said a racial slur in an interview His job is now in Jeopardy
- Why did the j**... slur his speech? Adiction.
Witty Slurs Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about slurs you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cursing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slurs pranks.
Two drunk people are sitting at a bar having an argument about Coronavirus.
The first one says "You're just trying to scare people. You don't know anything."
The second replies, clearly fed up with the first, "I'm a doctor! I'm paid to know these things, I have a PhD and everything!"
The first one slurs back, "Well ***I*** have a ***DhD.***"
The second says, exasperated, "What the h**... is a DhD??"
The first cackles, "You're some doc if you don't know what ADHD is!"
A drunk walks into a library...
He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.
The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!
***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m and his wife is livid.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45!
"No," slurs the mathematician I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.
A drunk staggers into a church one evening, goes into the confessional box and sits down. He doesn't say a word.
The priest coughs to try and get his attention. There's no response so the priest coughs again. There's still no response from the drunk.
The priest coughs a couple of more times and still doesn't get any response, so finally he pounds on the wall.
The drunk slurs, "There's no use knocking. There's no paper this side either."
A Russian and a Ukrainian go fishing together. They catch a talking goldfish, and she grants them 3 wishes if they let her go
The Russian says: we used my fishing rod, so I get first 2 wishes.
First: I want all the *insert some racial slurs* out of my glorious country.
Second: I want a big wall around Russia, nobody can cross.
Then ukrainian has a dialogue with the fish
- Is the wall done?
- Yes
- Is it strong and durable?
- Yes
- Nobody can climb it?
- Nobody
- And nobody but moscovites inside?
- Yes
- Great! Then fill it up with s**... up to the edges
Drunk lecture
A cop stops a drunk late at night and asks where he's going. " I'm going to a lecture about alcohol a**... and the effects it has on the human body." Slurs the drunk. " Really? who's giving that lecture at one in the morning?" " My wife."
Of all the racial slurs, "c**..." has to be the laziest.
A black guy probably came up with it...
Driving Home Drunk
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road.
A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk.
"Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile.
"Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?"
"Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk.
"For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Wasted
A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best l**.... She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don't we go upstairs to bed?" "We might as well," slurs the husband.
"I'm going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.
His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.
When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a d**....
He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
A zookeeper walks into a pub with an elephant
and orders two beers. After a few hours and a few more drinks, the elephant collapses drunk on the floor. As the zookeeper stumbles for the door, the bartender calls after him, "Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' here!" The zookeeper slurs, "That's not a lion; it's an elephant."
A p**... drunk man stumbles onto the bus on his way home...
When he finally hobbles his way to the last empty seat, he turns to see a posh stiff lady seated with her frilly pink French poodle.
He turns his head shakily and slurs, "Where'dh ye get tha' pig?"
The lady huffs and retorts, "Ugh! Why, I'll have you know Mr. Squiggles is **not** a pig! He is a purebred French poodle!"
The man squints his eyes and is silent for a second. Then turns back to the lady and slurs once more:
"I wath tokking...to thuh Frensh poothle."
A mathematician comes home, drunk, to his wife.
A mathematician stumbles home drunk at 3 a.m., his wife is furious.
You SWORE that you'd be home by 11:45! she yelled.
"No," slurs the mathematician... I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12.
A drunk wakes up in jail and asks the first police officer he sees,
A drunk wakes up in jail and asks the first police officer he sees, "Why am I here?" "For drinking." replies the officer.
"**Great**!" slurs the man. "**When do we start**?"
Drunk a grocery store
Drunk guy standing in line at a grocery store looks at the woman in front of him then down at her items at the register.
He says "You must be single"
The woman kinda annoyed but amazed says " OK I'll bite, how did you know that?"
Drunk man looks at her and slurs " Cause you're ugly"
So a guy walks into a bar with a giraffe......
They have a good few drinks and get rather drunk.
After many more straight whiskeys and ales the giraffe finally gives up the ghost and passes out beside the bar..
The guy feeling he's not too far behind, finishes his last whiskey and turns to leave picking up his coat.
The barman says sharply you can't leave that lyin' here .
The guy turns slightly and slurs over his shoulder it's not a lion, it's a giraffe .
A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"
She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...
Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"
The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're f**...' ugly...!"
A man is pulled over for speeding. Once the officer tries to talk to the man, he notices that he's very s**.... The officer then asks…
"Sir, how high are you?"
Quickly the man slurs the words,
"No, officer. It's 'Hi. How are you?'"
Everything is a choice.
Black people can choose to get offended by black slurs,Asian people can choose to get offended by Asian slurs,White people can choose to get offended by black slurs.
