Slurping Jokes

7 slurping jokes and hilarious slurping puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slurping that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Slurping Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good slurping joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A cowboy walks into a bar

"I'd like twenty martinis in a bucket."
"My horse likes them."
"This I've got to see."
The bartender mixes them up and they walk out to the horse. The horse puts his muzzle in and slurps them down.
The bartender says, "That's the damnest thing I ever saw. Come back in and I'll give you one on the house."
The cowboy says, "Nah. Thanks, but I've got to drive."

One of my mom's favorite jokes.

Why did the catholic priest get the alter boys to sit in the snow?

So he could have a couple cold ones to slurp back after a hard days work.

Why do kissing scenes in nearly every show have to use the soundtrack from a toddler slurping jello off of a plastic plate?

What did one man say when he put french fries in a blender and dumped the resulting liquid onto an unsuspecting victim?


A l**... is sitting at a lunch counter eating soup.

Suddenly the tip of his nose falls off, *plunk*, right in his bowl. Yet he keeps on eating.
The guy to his right starts gagging.
Then one of the l**...'s eyelids falls off, *plunk*. Again he goes on slurping.
The guy on his left starts dry heaving.
Suddenly the l**... stops and says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, am I making you sick by eating here?"
"It's not that," replies one of the fellows. "It's the guy behind you dipping chips in your back!"

A woman is opening presents at her birthday party,

and the first present she picks up is from the local florist, Max. She looks at the box and says, "I bet these are flowers" and Max nods his head. Sure enough, inside the box are flowers.
The second present she picks up is from the local candy shop owner, Molly. She looks at the box and said, "I bet this is candy" and Molly nods her head. Sure enough, inside the box is candy.
The third present she picks up is from the local liquor store owner, Joe. She looks at the box, which is leaking. " I bet this is a bottle of liquor" she says.
"Nope" says Joe.
The woman dabs some of the liquid on her finger and tastes it. "Oh, I know what this is, it's champagne!"
"No" says Joe.
The woman, frustrated, puts the box to her mouth and slurps off as much liquid as she can. "I have no idea. What did you get me, Joe?"
"A puppy."

Bob goes to the doctor...

Bob goes to the doctor for tests and is
diagnosed with an extremely rare illness that
can only be cured if he drinks a quantity of
fresh mother's milk. When he gets home, he asks his mother, but she just tells him not to be daft. Then his mother tells him that the girl upstairs has just given birth and the husband is away at sea, so he should go up and ask her nicely. The girl is just about to go to bed when Bob arrives, but she agrees to his request and, with a mischievous smile, invites him through to the bedroom. "You can't get it any fresher," she says, presenting her left breast to his lips. Bob feels a bit awkward, but he is only following doctor's orders after all. As he slurps at his medication, he hears a few soft moans and sighs. She gently pulls his head away from her breast, looks at him and murmurs, "Is there anything else I could offer you?" Overwhelmed by her generosity, he wipes his lips and says, . . . . . . . "Well, a biscuit would be very nice."

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