Slowing Jokes
28 slowing jokes and hilarious slowing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slowing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Slowing Short Jokes
Short slowing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slowing humour may include short slowed jokes also.
- My wife packed my bags and told me to leave . . . As I was headed out the door, she said "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death." I said, "so now you want me to stay?"
- The eclipse did two things our political leaders cannot. It slowed global warming and gave us all something to look up to
- I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen
- As I was leaving with my bags, my wife said, "I hope you have a slow and miserable death"... I said, "So you want me to stay now?".
- As a Canadian I never realized how slow my internet was until today. I just now started seeing Thanksgiving posts!
- Boss: Can you work this weekend? Me: Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends.
Boss: What time will you get here?
Me: Monday. - I wanted to help my pet snail. He was really slow like, so one day I took off his shell, thought it'd make him more streamlined. Turns out it didn't. It made him more sluggish.
- It took a week to cut my lawn... It was a slow-mo
- What do you call a seamstress who makes things up? A *fabric*ator.
It was a slow day at work... - What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Slow down and use lubrication
Share These Slowing Jokes With Friends
Slowing One Liners
Which slowing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slowing? I can suggest the ones about slow people and driving slow.
- Your mum is so slow It took her 9 months to come up with a good joke
- You're mom's so slow... ...that it took her 9 months to make a joke.
- What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down.
- Your mom is so slow It took her nine months to make a joke
- Yo momma is SO slow…. That it took her 9 months to make a joke!
- What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and possibly use a lubricant.
- What's that black stuff between an elephants toes? Slow Natives.
- Your mom is so slow, She took 9 months to make a joke.
- Simba runs pretty slow He needs to Mufasa
- What do you call a caveman who is walking really slow? A Meanderthal.
- If slow old men use walking sticks, what do fast old men use ? Hurry canes.
- My aunt always said the slow and steady win the race She died in a fire
- Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones
- What do you call a turtle with a hard on? -A slow poke.
- I got chlamydia from a person with special needs She gave me the slow clap
Comedy Slowing Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about slowing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sluggish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slowing pranks.
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
My one and only go-to joke, hope you like it.
A blond is riding a horse, it starts galloping faster and faster. She feels herself beginning to lose her grip and start to slid down the the saddle. She begins panicking because the horse isn't slowing and shes nearing the ground. At the very last minute the Walmart greeter walks over and unplugs it.
Two guys are playing golf.......
The women in front of them are really taking their time and are slowing the men up.
So one man says to his friend, ‟I am gonna go ask those ladies if we can play through.
He starts walking, but about halfway there, he turns around. When he gets back, his friend asks what happened.
He replies, ‟One of those women is my wife, and the other is my mistress. Why do not you go talk to them?
So the second man starts to walk over. He gets halfway there and turns around.
When he gets back, his friend asks, ‟Now what happened?
To this he replies, ‟Small world.
A man is driving across town with his dog.
He sees a traffic light and begins to stop.
The dog says, "Why are you slowing down, the light's gray?"
Forget Apple slowing down old iPhones..
God is slowing down old humans!
I heard about this one place with red signs that thanked drivers for slowing down...
...but when I drove by, everything was blue.
Red Light, Green Light
I'm driving with this guy, and he runs right through a Stop sign. So I say, Hey, that was a Stop sign. And he says, I drive like my brother!
A few blocks later, he plows right through a red light. I say, You just ran a red light. And he says, I drive like my brother!
So now we're coming up on a green light, and he slows down. I'm confused, so I say, It's green; why are you slowing down?
He says, My brother might be coming.
I think the March for Our Lives Movement is slowing down.
I mean, first they were running for their lives, now they're just marching.
This musician kept gradually slowing down in front of me on the freeway
What a r**....
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was trying to get run over by a car because he was slowing dying inside and had serious depression
Max wondered why the ball was slowing growing larger....
and then it hit him.
A cop pulls a guy over for slowing instead of stopping at a stopsign...
When the driver protests that he slowed down, the cop has him get out of the car and starts beating him over the head.
"Do you want me to stop or slow down?"
An Egyptian man told me this joke
A man is riding in a cab in Egypt, when the car comes to a red light. Instead of slowing down, the driver accelerates and blows right through the red light.
"What the h**... are you doing?!", yells the man.
"Don't worry", answers the driver, pointing to his chest. "Egyptian driver here, I've got it all under control."
That doesn't really comfort the man but anyway, he keeps going along for the ride. The car then comes to a green light, and the driver stops.
"Now what the h**... are you doing?!", yells the man.
"Well, I'm watching for another Egyptian driver!"
