Slot Machine Jokes

18 slot machine jokes and hilarious slot machine puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slot machine that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Slot Machine Short Jokes

Short slot machine jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slot machine humour may include short slot jokes also.

  1. Prostitutes and slot machines are sorta alike... They're fun to play with until they take all of your money
  2. I tried to stuff a football into the coin slot on the vending machine... It just gave me my quarterback.
  3. A s**... bomber goes to Las Vegas to try his luck at the slot machines.... ....he hit the jackpot, and now he's all over the place.

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Slot Machine One Liners

Which slot machine one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slot machine? I can suggest the ones about vending machine and sewing machine.

  1. I crossed a slot machine with a hyena... when it took my money it just laughed at me.
  2. Why are slot machines bad luck? Because you can't gamble with your life in Las Vegas.
  3. Why couldn't Robert Plant play the 25 cent slot machine? No quarter
  4. In which slot of a vending machine can you find a non-cancerous tumor? B9.
  5. What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot? Cha-c**...!

Great Slot Machine Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends

What funny jokes about slot machine you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean casino jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slot machine pranks.

Gambling in Vegas

My friend came back from Las Vegas once. He told me the slot machines are easy to win big at. He went to town in a $20,000 Nissan, left in a $360,000 Porsche.
I thought "nice, I'm going to get in on that." So I left for Vegas in my $30,000 Toyota. Came back in a $800,000 vehicle.
A Greyhound bus.

A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino

He rushes into his house and yells to his wife,
"Pack up your things. I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!"
The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The husband responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon."


A woman is on vacation in Las Vegas, playing the slot machines. It's her first time in a casino, so she asks a casino employee, "How does this work?" The worker shows her how to insert a bill, how to hit the spin button, and to operate the machine's release handle. "And where does the money come out?" the woman asks.
The casino employee smiles, motions to the far wall, and says, "Usually at the ATM."

A man sees his wife taking a......

cucumber from the fridge. Being the gentleman that he is he offers to slice it up for her. She turns to him with a look of disgust on her face and says, 'what do you think I am, a slot machine?'

Will you enjoy heaven?

Mark goes to heaven and is s**... worried if he will like it or not so he talks to St. Peter at the gate.
Mark: Im not sure if I'm going to like it here. I don't like most things people like.
St. Peter.:Do you like drinking?
Mark: Yes I absolutely love drinking!
St. Peter: You are going to love Monday it's beer night!
St. Peter: Do you like gambling?
Mark: Absolutely! I love the slot machines.
St. Peter: You will love Tuesday! It's Casino Night.
St. Peter: Are you gay?
Mark: No sir!
St. Peter: Well you aren't going to like Wednesdays!