slopes Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious slopes puns

A Scotsman went skiing in Canada for the first time.

At the end of a great day on the slopes, he retired to the local tavern. After getting six whiskeys in him he stood up and turned around to discover a large, stuffed animal head with giant antlers hanging from the wall.

"Barkeep," he said, "what the hell is that?"

The bartender said, "Oh that's a moose!"

The Scotsman bugged out his eyes and cried, "Holy crap! How big are the cats?!"

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Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada

This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada. After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall. He asks the barman, "What the fuck is that?".
The barman says, "It's a Moose." The Scottish chap says, "Fuck me! How big are the cats?"

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A man confesses his sins to a priest...

He says Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I was skiing down the slopes on my recent trip to Austria.

Upon my return to the top of the slope I noticed my boss from work. I was wearing my ski mask and a balaclava so he would not have recognised me.

As he was leaning down to fix his skis I pushed him down the mountain. He fell and broke his arm. I laughed and I laughed when I found out he wasn't at work because of the injury.

The priest says This the fifth time you have told me that story since Monday

The man responds I know but it's fucking hilarious!

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A mousse

This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada.
After a hard day on the slopes he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain.
After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall.
He asks the barman, "What the hell is that?"
The barman says, "It's a Moose."
The Scottish chap says, "Bloody hell! How big are the cats?"

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This Scottish bloke goes on a skiing holiday to Canada and after a hard day on the slopes, he retires to a bar at the bottom of the mountain. After about five or six whiskeys, he looks up and notices a stuffed animal with antlers on the wall...

He asks the barman, "What the fuck is that?"

The barman says, "It's a moose."

The Scottish chap says, "Fuck me! How big are the cats?"

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How do calculus students feel about undefined slopes in Cartesian planes?

Indifferential.

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A Scotsman went skiing in Canada for the first time.

At the end of his first day on the slopes, he decided to knock back a few drinks at the resort tavern.

After consuming six whiskeys he turned around and spotted a big, stuffed animal head with large antlers.

"Hey barkeep," he said. "What the hell is that over there?"

The bartender replied, "Oh that's a moose!"

"F**k me! How big are the cats?!"

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My most prized possession is a genuine traditional coffee pot hand crafted in an artisanal workshop on the slopes of a Mexican volcano.

It's a proper Popocatepetl kettle.

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The ski trip.

Last year, my friends Mark, John, Kyle and I went on holiday to a ski resort. After a day on the slopes, we found out the resort double booked our rooms and we were all forced to stay in a small room with only one bed.

I decided to sleep on the floor while the other guys shared the bed.

In the morning, Mark gets up and says "I had an amazing dream last night. I was on the ski lift with a beautiful ski instructor and she jerked me off."

Kyle laughs and says he had a similar dream where he and a beautiful girl sat in the lodge alone late at night and she jerked him off.

John sits up from in between them and yells "You guys are fucked up. I just dreamed that I was skiing!"



(Make the hand motions)

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What are the most funny Slopes jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Slopes? Well, here are the best Slopes dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Slopes pick up lines to share with friends.

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