Slipped Jokes
98 slipped jokes and hilarious slipped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slipped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Have you ever heard of a slipped joke? It's like the slippery cousin of the classic joke, but instead of a punch line, it's a cleverly snuck up on you. The aim is to be funny, but also to creep up on you and leave you laughing out loud. Learn more about slipping and sliding your way through the world of comedy with this article.
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Funniest Slipped Short Jokes
Short slipped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slipped humour may include short slipping jokes also.
- I slipped on some black ice yesterday. At first I thought it was regular ice, but when I got back on my feet, I noticed my wallet was gone.
- I slipped and fell on black ice. I thought it was regular ice but when i got up my wallet was gone.
- I saw a poor old woman slip over on some ice the other day... ... at least I think she was poor; she only had $3 in her purse.
- About 4,000 years ago: God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood! - How many mobsters do you need to push a man off a cliff? None. He slipped and fell by himself.
- My wife made a Freudian slip while we were making love. She said, "Yes! Oh yes! Oh my God Sigmund!!"
- What's the hardest part about getting twenty one year olds drunk? Slipping the booze into their baby bottles without the parents noticing
- Slipped on black ice So the other day I slipped on some black ice, at first I thought it was normal ice, but when I got up i noticed my wallet was missing.
- Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
- How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
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Slipped One Liners
Which slipped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slipped? I can suggest the ones about slips and slid.
- I like Freudian Slips as much as the next gay.
- A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.
- What is a Freudian slip? When you say one thing but mean your mother.
- I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.
- What do you call it when a norwegian falls down a canyon? A fjordian slip
- How did the dentist become a brain surgeon? His hand slipped.
- What do you tell a metal head who's walking on an icy street? Slip not.
- What's a Freudian slip? It's where you say one thing and mean your mother.
- Did you hear about the incompetent circumciser? He slipped and got the sack.
- What undergarment does a psychologist wear? A Freudian Slip
- Why was the banana a good prosecutor? She always made the defense slip up on appeal.
- Once, a bucket of Sodium Hydroxide slipped out of Skrillex's hands. He dropped the base.
- What do you call a pink slip served in a coffee bag? Grounds for termination!
- Nobody knew she had a dental implant until it slipped out in conversation.
- Why did Rome Fall? Because it slipped on some Greece.
Comical & Quirky Slipped Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about slipped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slip and slide jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slipped pranks.
I ran into a dance club for people with back problems
It was called the Slipped Disco
My Favorite Limerick
There once was a fellow McSweeney
Who put some gin on his w**...
Just to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini
3 women sitting at a bar
3 women are sitting at a bar. They start discussing m**....The first woman proudly proclaims
"I can fit 2 fingers!"
The second says
"Well I can fit a whole cucumber!"
The third slipped down the stool.
Hard Times
A pirate was standing on the crow's nest and then he slipped and fell. He fell through the first floor, then he fell through the second floor, then he fell through the third floor and hit the bottom floor of the ship!
The first mate comes up to him and asks "Are ye all right matey?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, yes... I've been through hardship before!"
So I was trying to grab a grape with my fork...
But it slipped. It seems as though my efforts were...
Fruitless.
Did you hear about the roofer who slipped on the job and got sick?
He came down with shingles.
I was getting drunk with this cute girl and booze was going everywhere.
Then suddenly I slipped in cider.
This poor old lady slipped and fell on the ice today.....
at least I think she was poor she only had 75 cents in her purse.
A hiker stuck on a branch
A hiker slipped over the edge of a cliff, and would surely have fallen to his death except for a branch he managed to grab, just a few feet from the top. He clung there in t**... and yelled, "Help! Can anybody hear me?" A booming voice said, "I am God. Just let go of that branch and I'll catch you." There was a long silence until the hiker hollered, "Can anybody else hear me?"
Be careful of black ice.
I rode my bike over some black ice once. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone.
Did you hear the new classical piece of music commissioned by the church?
It's called "I slipped and fell in A minor".
(Real Story) All of a sudden, my Steam language was set to Russian.
I was changing it back to English, when my hand slipped. But it's okay, now. I have everything in Czech.
Black Ice
Slipped on ice today. Didnt know it was black ice until my wallet was gone.
I slipped on some black ice today
I knew it was black ice because now my wallets missing.
Three kittens were on a roof, which slipped off first?
The one with the lowest mew
The moist finger
As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, at first encountering resistance but then plunging in, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.
I took my finger back out and within seconds, before I knew it, she was going down on me.
And I thought to myself..... "I really need a new freakin' boat."
Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning.
I was crestfallen.
I hadn't been laid in a long time, so I slipped a girl a roofie at a bar.
She still wouldn't have s**... with me, she just wanted to sleep.
What did Bill Cosby say when he was in a bar and he accidentally slipped a pill into one of those drinks you light on fire and then the bartender lit it on fire?
The roof', the roof', the roofies on fire!
Why wasn't Caitlyn Jenner charged with vehicular manslaughter?
It wasn't her fault. Her t**... slipped.
How did Sigmund Freud die?
He slipped
Check up time.
I've just been for my 6 month check up and everything seem to be going well until he slipped his finger in to check my prostate. I will not be using that dental practise again.
A drunk's prayer...
A drunk man was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily.
Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please God," he thought. "Let it be blood!"
A Professor Calls "Pencils Down"
A professor calls pencils down and one students keeps writing.
When the student goes to turn in his exam, the professor tells him "l'm not going to accept this, you didn't put your pencil down when I said to."
"Do you have any idea who I am?" The student says, snobbily.
"I don't have the slightest idea who you are and I don't care," the professor retorted.
"Good." The student replied as he slipped his exam into the middle of the stack and walked away.
TIL s**... donors are paid $50 per donation.
It was devastating. Imagine all the money that has slipped through my fingers.
When I was young, I slipped on some spilled beans and broke my spine, paralysing myself...
Oh what I'd have done with Heinzsight.
So i used to work with a Muslim
This Muslim I was working with on a tower scaffolding lost his footing and slipped. I managed to grab his hand as he was dangling 150 feet in the air.
"Please, please," he begged, "don't let me drop!"
"Will you e**... bacon sandwich if I pull you up?" I asked,
"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" he said.
So I let him go. I'm not having anyone steal my breakfast
A waiter accidentally slipped and threw curry all over an extremely rude customer...
... It was chicken karma
I slipped and fell outside today...
and when I got up, my wallet and keys were missing. Must've been black ice.
I slipped on some black ice yesterday...
I thought it was regular ice until I realized my wallet was gone.
Liam Neeson was walking on a road.
He suddenly slipped and fell, twisting his knee. He looks around for some help. He sees a kid with a balloon coming towards him.
"Hey kid. Come here." He called him, asking for his help.
"Hello Liam Neeson, I see you are hurt. What happened?" He asks.
"Hurt my knee kid. Can you help me please?"
"Sure, take this." He says, handing him the balloon.
"What's this for?" Looking at him, confused.
"This is full of Heal-Liam."
I got caught looking down a girl's top. I was so embarrassed.
I almost slipped off the toilet seat.
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree
Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."
A rabbi slipped during a circumcision...
...he got the sack.
Two kittens were chasing each other in the jungle
Suddenly one slipped and fell, it's mom saw and told it: tiger shoelaces together or you'll fall again
I slipped in the shower yesterday...
Almost lost 28 years down the drain...
When I was 14, I attended a party in Hollywood.
I swear, someone must have slipped something into my drink because after awhile I was definitely feeling spacey.
Brought a girl home from a bar last night and after we went down on each other for a while I slipped on a c**.... Suddenly, she looked me dead in the eyes and demanded either forty more minutes of foreplay, or that I drop down and give her 100 pushups. When I asked why she said
"The idea is to provide you with a sense of pride and accomplishment for unlocking different holes."
I met a 10 at 11 at a bar. Took her home, slipped on a c**....
Now I'm a quadriplegic
My granddad had an accident eating curry.
He slipped into a korma.
My Vietnamese coworker slipped and fell in a puddle of oil.
I was going to make a racist joke about it but decided against it, because that's a slippery slope.
One day, in Ancient Rome
A senator was late to the Senate, when Cicero was giving a speech. He got there fifteen minutes after the start.
He slipped into his usual seat and whispered to the senator next to him: "What Cicero is talking about?"
His neighbor said: "I don't know, he hasn't got to the verb yet!"
On leaving a bar with my wife -
I slipped something into her drink which will guarantee me a dirty night in bed.
.
.
.
.
Laxatives.
I got a job performing circumcisions
On my first day I slipped and got the sack
My friend and I took a trip to Egypt. While we were sightseeing, he slipped and fell into a river. I told him he needs to get out as soon as possible but he refused to acknowledge his predicament.
He was in denial.
The bottle of ketchup slipped from my hands yesterday.
This event caused a huge pain to ma toes.
A 911 operator gets a call.
The caller says, "Help! I was out hunting with my friend, and he slipped and fell down a slope and hit a rock and I think he's dead!"
"Calm down. The first thing you need to do is make sure that he's actually dead."
The operator hears a shot, and then the caller says, "Okay, now what?"
Did you hear about the guy who slipped on a banana and sued?
He won the trial, but he got overturned on a peel.
I thought of a great ice pun to post,
but then it slipped my mind.
A spill
While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base
A man walks into the ER
And the doctor asks "whats the problem?".
The man replies "Well sir, I seem to have slipped and accidentally fell onto this ketchup bottle and its definitely stuck in there. Can you help?"
The doctor looks at the patient, twists the bottle and it pops rather quickly. The doctor stares for a moment and simply says "Now explain the c**...".
Two blondes are chatting in a bar.
Eventually it's time for one to leave. She'd kicked off her shoes whilst sitting. As she slipped them back on the second blonde noticed an R and an L on them.
"Hey, what are those letters for, " she asked.
"Oh it's so i get them on the correct feet. L for left and R for right."
The second blonde pondered this for a moment.
"That's genius," she eventually exclaimed, "and now I understand why my knickers say C&A!"
A prisoner slipped on the stairs 5 years into his 14 year sentence.
He suffered some minor injuries but he decided to pretend to be in a coma for rest of his sentence.
When he finally decided to drop the act on the last day of his sentence, the warden arrested him again, because you aren't supposed to end a sentence with a coma.
This morning I slipped on a gum ball and landed on my face pretty hard.
Actually it was a jaw breaker
My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night.
"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve.
"Guess how old I'm going to be next month."
"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses.
"How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours.
She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
I was installing a light in the attic today, when I slipped off a joist and put my foot right through the bedroom ceiling. It scared the s**... out of my girlfriend.
I'm not surprised though, she kicked me out last August.
2 hunters chat about their hunting stories
2 hunters talk about what has happened to them and the first one says... "Once, when I was in Africa and I was hunting I feel something is behind me... so I turn around and see a huge lion right behind me ...so I start running in order to escape but it was getting closer and closer but when it just about to get me … the lion just slipped and fell on the ground so I escaped." the second hunter then ask him in awe "and how the h**... you didn't s**... yourself mate? so he replies "what you think the lion slipped on ?"
Masks are like bra.
If the strap slipped and it is not at place, people keep pointing out
and if you entirely forgot to wear one in public, people go on staring like h**....
Before our night out, my wife said that she didn't want me to get dressed up.
No point arguing with her.
So I slipped into my suit and tie while lying on the floor.
earlier today I dropped an ice cube
It slipped under the refrigerator and I couldn't reach it. I was really upset about it at first but now I'm over it. water under the fridge.
Two old hippies meet a nun at a bus stop…
She's on crutches and seems to be having a hard time.
One hippie asks her, hey sister, like, what happened to your leg?
Oh my son, I slipped in the shower and broke my ankle replied the nun.
Oh said the hippie as he turned to his friend to ask quietly, hey man, what's a shower?
Don't ask me man, I'm not Christian!
A hypnotist was performing in front of a live audience using a pendulum.
All of a sudden the pendulum slipped out of his hand and he exclaimed, "s**...!"
It took two weeks to clean that whole place.
It was terrible, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.
I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.
Well, said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, how in the world did you get here at all?
Well, replied the student, finally after twenty minutes I gave up and started heading home!
My daughter came limping into the house and said "Dad, I slipped on the sidewalk and hurt my knee". I looked out the window and said...
Oh, I C Y
A friend came back to our country after being in a safari in the wild
He told me the experience was marvelous, except for one bit. He strayed far away from the guides and crew and then, found himself in front of a lion. He proceeded to run. So did the lion, although this one slipped a few times, giving the chance to my friend of escaping, unscathed.
I was shocked after hearing this and, asked him if he didn't s**... himself or anything after seeing the lion. He replied: "Of course! In what do you think the lion slipped on?"
I was waiting on my food, when my waitress slipped on a wet spot in the dining room
The cook yelled from the back sorry for the long wait times, but our server is currently down
The bad news is that I slipped and fell while getting out of the shower and I landed on my glasses. The glasses went up my b**....
The good news?
Hindsight is 20-20
Holly Gennaro was angry with me for dropping her wristwatch when I saved her at Nakatomi Plaza. But what could I do?
My Hans slipped.
My Nokia slipped out of my hand and landed on top of my car so I took it to Best Buy
But they said they don't fix cars
How did John Travolta end up in the hospital.?
He slipped in Grease.
