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Slip And Fall Jokes

39 slip and fall jokes and hilarious slip and fall puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slip and fall that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Slip And Fall Short Jokes

Short slip and fall jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slip and fall humour may include short slip jokes also.

  1. Two nuts were hanging out in a tree. One slipped and started to fall. The other one said Don't worry man, I'm a cashew
  2. A bald man... a bald man decides to take a shower, he enters the bathroom, slips due to water on the ground, falls on his head, slips again.
  3. Two kittens were chasing each other in the jungle Suddenly one slipped and fell, it's mom saw and told it: tiger shoelaces together or you'll fall again
  4. Modern Times Interesting times we live in: Going down the street, in your pocket you have an Iphone 6. You slip, you fall and you hear a crack. You pray to God that was your hip.
  5. Whenever I get on my roof to clean the gutters, I always slip and fall. Every shingle time.

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Slip And Fall One Liners

Which slip and fall one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slip and fall? I can suggest the ones about slip and slide and tripping and falling.

  1. What do you call it when a norwegian falls down a canyon? A fjordian slip
  2. Why did Rome Fall? Because it slipped on some Greece.
  3. Why did the hobbit fall He had a Frodoian slip
  4. What do you call it when a therapist falls down for no reason? A Freudian slip.
  5. Why did the dumb cat slip and fall from the roof? Because μ = 0
  6. What do you call it when a Psychologist falls down? A Freudian slip.....
  7. Last night I slipped and fall in the bathroom..... ISIS claimed responsibility
  8. How did Rome fall? Rome was roaming, slipped on Greece and fell.

Slip And Fall Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about slip and fall you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slip on ice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slip and fall pranks.

Two men are climbing a mountain. One of them slips and falls.

"Oh my god are you alive?!? Can you hear me?!?"
-- "Yes, I'm alive."
"Did you break your legs?"
-- "No, my legs are fine."
"Did you break your arms?
-- "No, they're OK."
"Well, thank goodness, climb back up!"
-- "I can't."
"Why not?"
-- "I'm still falling."

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree

Son: "Dad where did I come from?"
Dad: "One day your mother and I were walking through an apple orchard..."
Son *rolls eyes*: "And you grabbed an apple not far from a tr..."
Dad: "I slipped in cider."

Men's Helpline

Men's Helpline
"Hello, you have reached the Men's Help Line, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"
"Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs: The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with the girls a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So, I hid in the garage, behind my boat and waited for her. When she came home, she got out of someone's car, buttoning her blouse. Then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouching behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

Men's Help Line

MEN"S HELP LINE, "Hello, my name is Bob. How can I help you?"

Caller: "Hi, Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs: If the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up. She goes out with 'the girls' a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep.
Anyway, last night about midnight, I hid in the shed behind the boat. When she came home, she got out of someone's car buttoning her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket.
Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?"

swimming pool wishes

At a swimming pool: Three guys climb a high-dive tower and meet a good fairy who offers to fulfill a wish for each of them. One jumps and says, "Beer!" - and the pool is full of beer. The other one jumps, says, "Money!" and the pool is full of money. The last one starts to jump but slips and, falling, yells, "SHIIIIIIT!!!"

A guy is out hunting...

He sees a bear and shoots at it. He misses, and suddenly slips and falls down the mountainside. His leg is caught in a bear trap, and the bear is coming right towards him. He cries out, "Lord, I know I've done some bad things in my life, but I promise to repent now if you make this bear a Christian!" The bear skids to a halt, drops to his knees, clasps his paws together and says, "O Lord, I thank you for the food I am about to receive!"

An Irish prayer...

On a cold winter night; an older Irishman walks down the street using his prized glass flask of whiskey to keep warm. Just as he returns it to his back pocket he slips on ice and falls with a crunch. As he lay there assessing his injuries, he feels warm liquid running down his leg.
He closed his eyes and said, "Please Lord, let it be blood."

Dirty things

Bryan and his grandmother were walking in the rain when suddenly Bryan finds his favorite candy on the ground. He asks his grandmother if he can eat it and she says "don't pick up dirty things you find on the ground".
They continue walking and the grandmother slips and falls in a pool of mud.
The grandmother asks Bryan if she will help her get up and Bryan says "Sorrt grandma you told me to never pick up dirty things I find"

All US prison wardens got together and brainstormed to put a stop to prison rapes.

They finally decided on a high tech solution- an anti-slip soap bar with an internal combustion engine equipped with state of the art artificial engine that would fly the soap back to the prisoner's hand even if it somehow falls down.
The Russian wardens too found a solution- shower gel.

A father and son are walking across a small stream

The boy slips falls. His body gets wedged between two boulders, effectively blocking the flow of water. Father says "Dam son" before quickly helping helping him to his feet and they continue on their way.

An elderly man is having trouble keeping his balance on the bus

His cane is slipping on the floor. On every turn of the bus, he loses his balance and barely escapes danger of falling. So he starts looking around if someone will give him their seat.
A sitting rebellious type youngster patronizes him: "Hey old man, if you put some rubber on the tip of your cane, you wouldn't have this much trouble."
The old man replies: "Boy, I would be sitting down on this bus if only your father put on that rubber"

Problem 67

Bob and Kathy, two construction workers on the roof of a building, are about to raise a keg of nails from the ground by means of a light rope passing over a light frictionless pulley 10.0 m above the ground. Bob weighs 900 N, Kathy 600 N, the keg 300 N, and the nails 600 N. Both workers slip off the roof, and the following unfortunate sequence of events takes place. Hanging together on the rope, Bob and Kathy strike the ground just as the keg hits the pulley. Unnerved by his fall, Bob lets go of the rope, and the keg pulls Kathy up to the roof, where she cracks her head against the pulley but gamely hangs on. However, the nails spill out of the keg when it strikes the ground, and the empty keg rises as Kathy returns to the ground. Finally, she has had enough, lets go of the rope, and remains on the ground, only to be hit by the empty keg again. Ignoring the possible mid-air collisions that merely added insult to injury, how much did Bob and Kathy get when they sued the construction company?

We all know that one girl...

A man and a woman are having s**.... The man is f**... the woman to get a little foreplay going. As hes f**... her, she grabs him and whispers in his ear "I like f**....."
The man grins and proceeds to inserting his fist. The woman moans in enjoyment, but says "Deeper,". He proceeds to slide his arm deeper. her is now elbow deep in her and she says "Deeper," so he complies and slips him his other arm after grabbing a flashlight just in case. Now he is in up to his shoulders. She moans and yells "DEEPER!" so he starts inserting his whole body until all of a sudden he falls in!
Now he's walking around searching for the flashlight he dropped. All of a sudden he bumps into a man. "WHOA I didnt expect to find anyone in here..." Replies the first man.
"Ive been stuck in here for a few days now."
"Oh I see, well if you help me find the flashlight I brought in with me..."
The other man responds "If you help me find my keys we can drive out of here."

Read this one a couple years ago, a little dirty but pretty funny.

In a local park trees are being removed to clear space for a playground. As the men are working, a group of world conservationalists climb the trees and protest to the removal. As one woman was chanting she slipped and fell out of the tree falling on a few branches on the way down. With her g**... full of splinters and bark she was rushed to the emergency room. She was looked at by the doctor and he told her to wait. After a few hours in excruciating pain he came back and she yelled at him for taking so long. He told her "Sorry, I had to get the right permits to remove lumber from a recreational area."

A Lizard was walking one day and happened to look up and see a Koala getting high...

So the Lizard shouts "Hey Koala, what are you doing up there?"
The Koala responds by saying "Nothing man, just smoking a joint, want to come up for a bit?"
The Lizard agrees and quickly scurries up the tree. After a few passes, he tells the Koala he's extremely thirsty and the Koala reminds him that a river isn't far from the tree they are in.
The Lizard goes down the tree and races to the river but due to him being so high, once he gets to the water he slips and falls in. A Crocodile watching him swims over and saves the little Lizard from drowning.
"What's wrong with you?" asked the Crocodile.
"Dude, I was just in a tree smoking a joint with Koala and I got so thirsty and came to get a drink but I slipped and fell in," the Lizard replies
The Crocodile decides for himself he needs to go check out the Lizard's story and goes to find the Koala. After a few moments, he sees the Koala in the tree smoking a joint just as the lizard had said.
"Hey Koala!" Crocodile shouts at the tree.
The Koala looks down at the Crocodile and says:
Shiiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?

Converting Units:


1. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
2. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
3. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
4. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
5. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
6. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
7. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
8. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
9. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
10. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
11. 4 nickels = 2 paradigms
12. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
13. 1 million-million microphones = 1 megaphone
14. 2 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
15. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
16. 2000 mockingbirds = 2 kilomockingbirds
17. 52 cards = 1 decacards
18. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 FigNewton
19. 1000 milliliters of wet socks = 1 literhosen
20. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
21. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
22. 10 rations = 1 decoration
23. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
24. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
25. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV League

Mens Help Line

MEN'S HELP LINE - Letter of the Month
Hi John,
I really need your advice on a serious problem: I have suspected
for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs:
if the phone rings and I answer, the caller hangs up; she goes out with the
girls a lot. I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home
but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night about midnight I hid in the
shed behind the boat. When she came home she got out of someone's car
buttoning her blouse, then she took her p**... out of her purse and
slipped them on. It was at that moment crouched behind the boat that I
noticed a hairline crack in the outboard engine mounting bracket. Is that
something I can weld or do I need to replace the whole bracket?

Three r**... were working up on a cell phone tower: c**..., Ronnie and Donnie.
As they start their descent, c**... slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, "Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife."
Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?"
"c**...'s wife gave it to me," Donnie replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
"Well, not exactly", Donnie says.
"When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be c**...'s widow."
She said, "You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow."
Then I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."