Slim Fast Jokes

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your b**...!"
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go un-rewarded.
The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. "What the Heck is this??" he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
"April," he hollered into the bathroom, "why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?"
She replied... "It's not talcum powder... it's Miracle Grow."

A man is frustrated with his wife gaining a little weight

He tells her, Maybe you should wash your clothes in slim fast since you won't try anything else.
The wife goes to bed angry. The next morning when the husband puts on his underwear, it's full of powder. He asks his wife why she put baby powder in his underwear.
She replies, It's not baby powder, it's miracle grow .

How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim?

Inter-mitten fasting.

In the dim and distant past, when life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and babysit.
When the kids were in a jam, they could always call on Gram.
However, today she's in the gym exercising to keep slim.
She's checking the web or surfing the net, sending some e-mail or placing a bet.
Nothing seems to stop or block her, now that Grandma's off her rocker.