The Best 63 Slides Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Slides jokes. There are some slides pulls jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these slides stool puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Slides Jokes and Puns

When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a condom during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

Good Polish Joke

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of Polish vodka. As the bartender slides the drink to the patron, a man sitting next to him remarks, "That's a coincidence, I, too, am enjoying a Polish vodka. Since

I arrived from the old country, this is the only bar in which I have found it."

To which the first replies, "Old country, I'm from the old country. Let me buy you another!"

As the drinks are being poured, one of the men asks, "What part of the old country are you from?"

"Krakow," replies the other. "This is weird," says the first, "I, too, am from Krakow! Let's get another shot."

After the new round arrives, the first asks, "So, pal, what did you do back in Krakow?'

"Not much, really, I came here right out of high school. I graduated from Lech Walesa Technical Academy in '81."

"This is eerie," replies the other, "I'm Welesa Tech, '81. Let's get another shot." But the bartender says, "Slow down fellas, I gotta make a call."

The bartender calls his wife and tells her that he'll be late getting home. When she inquires as to the cause, he replies, "Oh, the friggin' Liszjewski twins are here again."

An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...

Once inside, he slides up to the bar and orders a shot of whiskey. "To the class of '55!" he yells, holding the glass aloft. Next to him, an old drunk raises his glass, "To the class of '55!"

"Where you from?" asks the first man of the second after they both toast.

"I'm from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania."

"You don't say?! I'm from Pittsburgh!"

The two men drink to their hometown.

"What high school did you go to?" Ask the second man as he orders them another round.

"St Ignaius on Lombard Street."

"You're kidding me, I went to St Ignaius!" The two toast the coincidence and sling an arm over each other's shoulders as they begin to fondly reminisce about the old days.

A bar regular walks in and calls out to the bartender, "Hey Steve, what's going on?"

"Oh nothing," Steve replies, "The Johnson twins are drunk again."

Slides joke, An old man stumbles into a bar after having had a few already...

Three women are sitting in a bar discussing who is looser…

The first one says "My husband can fit his fist inside me".

The second one says "My husband can fit both firsts inside me".

The third one just smiles and slides down the bar stool.

What you get when a Mexican slides down a hill?

A gracias

An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...

An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "VODKA!", and lands into bottles of vodka at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.

Three prostitutes in a bar...

First one holds up four fingers "I can take that inside me" she says.
"Well, I can take this" says the second, holding up a fist.
The third one slides slowly down the bar stool.

Slides joke, Three prostitutes in a bar...

2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...

The first nun takes out a condom and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.

The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"

"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.

So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.

"What size do you need" asked the clerk.

The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"

Two ladies smoking

Two old ladies were standing outside smoking cigarettes. It starts to rain, so one of the old ladies takes out a condom, cuts the tip off and slides it over her cig to keep it dry. The other lady is amazed at her inventiveness! She goes to the pharmacy and tells the pharmacist she needs some condoms. The pharmacist, puzzled, looks at her and says "ma'am they come in all shapes and sizes, which ones do you need?" She replies "doesn't matter, as long as it fits a Camel!"

Do Frenchmen like slides?


Two kittens are on a slanted roof, which one slides off first?

The one with the least mew.

You can explore slides swingset reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean slides jumps dad jokes. There are also slides puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A man and wife are in bed, when...

...when the man slides his hand slowly across her shoulders, across her waist, under her neck, under her back, & suddenly stops...

Wife: " ( In a romantic voice) Why did u stop?"

Man: "(Whispering) I found the remote. You can go back to sleep"

Three girls are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are

The first girl says "I'm so loose my boyfriend can get three fingers inside of me". The second girl says "I'm so loose MY boyfriend can get his whole fist in me." The third girl just smiles and slowly slides down the bar stool.

Another Hot Day

Two friends walk into a bar after a jog around the lake. The first of the two goes up to the bar tender and asks "Bar tender! May I have a bottle of H20?" And then the bar tender slides over a bottle of H2O that he then enjoyed. The next man asks "Bar tender! May I have a bottle of H20 too?" He died.

Penguins are scientist by nature...

They always have to improve their slides !

Funny unknown historical fact:

Pharoahs were burried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Slides joke, Funny unknown historical fact:

How are STEM majors and inflatable slides the same?

You start off excited over your lofty heights and slowly slide down into something soft.

What's black and slides down Nelson's column?

Winnie Mandela.

Loose women

3 women are sitting at a bar conversing over lady stuff.

Eventually the first woman says, "I'm so loose I can fit an entire carrot up there.."

The second woman chimes in and says, "yes, well I'm so loose I can fit an entire baseball bat up there.."

The Third woman slides down the bar stool

Two cats are sitting on a roof. Which one slides off first?

The one with the lowest mew.

3 ladies at a bar are talking about how loose they are.

The first lady can fit a cucumber.
The second fits a sausage.
The third slides down the bar stool.

Three women are sitting at a bar...

And they're bragging about how loose they are. The first one says:

"I could fit an entire zucchini up there!"

The second one says:

"Oh yeah? Well I could fit an entire pineapple up there!"

The third one doesn't say anything and she slides down the stool.

3 women in a bar..

talking about how loose they are.
One fits a sausage
one fits a cocumber
and the other one slides down the bar stool.

A Chinese man is making love to his wife...

The man is going for it missionary style, he slides up her body, kisses her softly and whispers in her ear, "Baby, I wanna 69!". Immediately, her face turns from pleasure to confusion and anger, she replies, "You want Salt and Pepper Chicken NOW?"

3 women are sitting at a bar..

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde.

The brunette says, "I'm so tight, my husband can only fit 3 fingers in me."

The redhead says, "I'm so tight, *my* husband can only fit 1 finger in me!"

The blonde, meanwhile, slides down her stool.

A man walks into a bar.

The menu reads

>Burger: $5

>Hand job: $10

He slides a $10 bill to the female bartender and asks:
"Are you the girl who does the hand jobs?"

She responds with a smooth voice:
"Why yes I am"

The man then says:
"Then wash your hands, because I want two burgers"

The Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Enginner

A Mechanical Engineer, Project Manager and the Software Engineer were driving down a mountain when suddenly the car slides off the road and rolls down the Mountain. Amazingly none of the occupants had been hurt.

The Mechanical Engineer steps out and says hand me my Swiss army knife I will have this repaired in no time and we can be on our way.

The Project Manager says Wait Up, We need to set achievable goals, set a timeline and ensure we are all working with maximum efficiency to solve this problem.

The Software Engineer Just says "Wow! that is strange, lets push it back up and see if it happens again"

Three women are sitting at a bar talking about how loose they are...

One can fit in a sausage, one can fit in a cucumber and the third one just slides down onto the bar stool.

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West

A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. A few minutes later a beautiful young woman approaches the man and says, "For $200 I will do anything you want that you can describe in 3 words."

Excited, the man gets his wallet out, takes out $200 and slides it on the bar to the beautiful woman and says, "Paint my house."

My boss told me to make a PowerPoint presentation about water parks.

There's loads of slides.

A guy turns to his buddy during an archaeological excavation and slides one headphone back off his ear...

"Hey man, I really dig this album!"

The mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first mathematician orders a pint of beer. The second mathematician orders a half. The third, a quarter pint. There is an infinite line up of Mathematicians.

The bartender fills up two pints and slides it over to the Mathematicians.

Three woman talk about who's the loosest of them.

One fits a sausage, one fits a cucumber, the third one slides down the barstool.

Source: Sovietwomble

A Man and Woman are getting it on for the first time

She takes his socks off and notices his gnarly toes

"What happen to your toes?" she asks

he says " when i was a child i suffered from Toelio"

She says "you mean Polio?

He says "no it's like polio but of the toes"

She isn't willing to let this stop her. And she slides his pants down and notices his oddly colored weirdly shaped knees.

"What happened to your knees?" she asks

"in my teens i had the kneesles" he says

She said "you mean the measles?"

he says "no it's like the measles but of the knees"

Still this won't stop her. She slides his boxers down. She giggles and says "let me guess...smallcox"

Three women walk into a bar and are talking about how loose they are,

The first one fits a hot dog, the second a cucumber and the last one slides down the bar stool.

An Englishman, an Scotsman and an Irishman...

are by a slide when a genie appears.
He grants the three men a wish each, as long as they say the wish going down the slide, in which they land in it.

So the Englishman goes first. As he's going down he says Money! And he lands in a pot of money.

The Scotsman goes next. He slides down and he shouts Naked women! And he lands in a pot of naked women.

Lastly, it's Irishman's turn. He pushes himself down the slide and screams Weeeee!

Sitting at a table

Wife: Writes a number on a piece of paper and slides it across.
Me: Crosses out and writes a new number.

#thermostat negotiations

The Biggest Coward

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest coward.

The first kid says," My dad is so scared that when a lightning strikes my dad slides underneath our bed."

The second kid goes," That's nothing, my dad is so scared, that when mummy works night shift, my dad sleeps with the woman next door."

Why did the projectionist cross the road?

To get the other slides.

A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the wild west

He slides up to the bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"

We took the kids to the playground earlier.

We met another couple and their kids. They seemed real normal, you know? So we asked if they wanted to walk over to the slides and the see-saw.

But then the husband told us, they're swingers.

Did you hear they are making a new version of Slip n Slides for adults?

They're calling them Flop n Stops

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman meet a Genie.

The Genie says,
"You may all slide once down this magic slide. Whatever you shout on the way down will be what you land in at the end."

The Englishman slides down and shouts

The Scotsman slides down and shouts

Finally, the Irishman slides down, and at the top of his lungs, he exclaims:


Cashier: you're 8 cents short

Me: it's only 8 cents can you just let it
Cashier: no
Me: *slides cashier 20 dollars* what about now

My dad showed me a 30 minutes PowerPoint presentation that why condom should be used during sex.

All slides had pictures of me.

We were at McDonalds racing down the slides and I beat my son

I explained to the police it was because he was trying to cheat.

Three Prostitutes are in a bar, discussing how loose they are.

The first fits a sausage.

The second fits a cucumber.

The third laughs, and slides down the barstool.

Three women are drinking at a bar.

As the night goes on, they begin talking about how loose their vaginas are.

The first woman boasts that her lover can fit his entire fist in.

The second woman says "That's nothing, my husband was able to fit both of his fists in!"

The third woman laughs, finishes her drink, and slides down the barstool.

My dad showed me a 30 slide PowerPoint presentation on safe sex and benefits of condoms...

All the slides were pictures of me and my brother.

A travelling salesman walks into a bar...

He's going over the menu when a local guy slides onto the stool next to him, and just says one word: Waterloo.

Guessing he's onto something of a local speciality, he asks for one himself. He takes a deep swig and pulls a face: This doesn't taste like anything at all!!! he exclaims.

The local guy asks the bartender: Well, what did he expect? It's a water, innit Lou?

Three kittens are on a sloping roof...

Which one slides down the slowest?

The one with the highest ΞΌ

When I became a teenager, my father gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on the dangers of having unprotected sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

My 5-year-old just told me a joke about it pig walking down the street.

When all of a sudden, a car comes speeding down the road, crashes into the pig and slides into a spot between two other cars.

The guy driving the car gets out and looks at the dead pig and says, "Well, I guess I got park chops."

what gets longer when pulled, fits between brests, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked?

A seatbelt.

An aide slides up to Trump and whispers in his ear discreetly

"Mr.President, one of your shoes is black, and the other is brown!"

Trump said

, "Yes, I noticed it myself. I went to change but when I looked in the closet, the only other pair I had was also one black and one brown"

Man in bed with his wife... Slides his hand slowly across her shoulders... across her waist.. under her neck... below her neck... under her back.. & suddenly STOPS! Wife: (in a romantic voice) "Why did you stop?"

Man: "Got the remote, you can go back to sleep."

The Negotiator

Cop: you're going to prison for forgery
Me: *slides him a 37 dollar bill* what about now

My dad just gave me a 30 minute Power Point Presentation on why to use condoms during sex.

All the slides were just pictures of me.

Law Professor: You're currently failing your ethics course.

Me: _slides a $20 note across the table_ How about now?
Professor: _pockets the note_ Still failing.
Me: OK, can I have my $20 back?
Professor: What $20?

A hearse is traveling up an icy hill when the back doors fly open.

The coffin drops on the street. It slides down the hill, and goes through a house. It keeps going through a school, then a church, then a grocery store, and then through a gas station. It busts through an arcade, and then through an office building. It breaks through the front door of a pharmacy and finally stops at the pharmacy counter, the lid opens, and the man inside sits up. He looks at the pharmacist and asks, "Do you have anything to stop this coffin?"

Three men are walking in the desert.

Three men are walking in the desert, all dehydrated.

They approach a slide with an empty paddling pool beneath it with a wizard standing nearby.

Wizard: This slide is magical. When you slide down it, you can say a drink of your choosing and the paddling pool will fill up with that drink.

The first guy slides down and says "Water!" and the pool is full of water.

The second guy slides down and says "Apple Juice!" and the pool is full of apple juice.

The third guy slides down and says "Wee!"

Policeman: You're going to prison for forgery.

Me: *Slides him a $37 bill*. What about now?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the slides zooms jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working slides magic slide piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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