Slide Jokes
135 slide jokes and hilarious slide puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slide that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is about slide jokes. It will look at different types of slides and the jokes related to them. It will focus on water slides, sewer slides, slip and slides, electric slides, cha cha slides, Yeezy slides, and Powerpoint slides. Find out how these different slides can be used to create laugh-out-loud jokes and get ready to descend into a world of timeraptor skidding!
Quick Jump To
- Short Slide Jokes
- Slide One Liners
- Slip And Slide Jokes
- Powerpoint Slide Jokes
- Slide Rule Jokes
- Water Slide Jokes
- More Slide Jokes
Funniest Slide Short Jokes
Short slide jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slide humour may include short swing jokes also.
- Policeman: You're going to prison for forgery. Me: *Slides him a $37 bill*. What about now?
- I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that's a little condescending.
- Funny unknown historical fact: Pharoahs were burried with their hands crossed their chest because it was a historical belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
-
The next time your boss asks you to start your presentation with a joke... ...attach your payslip on the first slide. - Three kittens are on a sloping roof... Which one slides down the slowest?
The one with the highest μ - I took my dog to the water park, Staff said it went against regulation, but...
This time they'd let it slide. - From my 7 year old son: Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
- When the Mexican guy forgot his ticket to the water park, the employee let him in anyway Typically I'm a stickler about this sort of thing, he remarked But I'm gonna let this Juan slide.
- The DJ played the Cha Cha Slide, so I did the Cha Cha Slide, The DJ played Macarena, so I did the Macarena,
The DJ played Come On Eileen, and now I have an upcoming court appearance. - I like my coffee like I like my Women... Sliding off the roof of my car as I tear out of the driveway.
Share These Slide Jokes With Friends
Slide One Liners
Which slide one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slide? I can suggest the ones about sliding and slip.
- When a tesla drifts, It's called the electric slide
- from my 7 y/o: Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide
- Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide
- Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other... Slide.
- I took my dog to the water park once... It was against the rules but they let it slide
- Do you know why the European stock markets are sliding down? Greece.
- Why did the PowerPoint cross the road? To get to the other slide
- What you get when a Mexican slides down a hill? A gracias
- Why did the germ cross the microscope? To get to the other slide!
- Why did the chicken cross the park? To get to the other slide.
- Did you hear about the guy who killed himself going down a slide He committed Sueislide
- In Hogwarts, people don't slide into DMs They slither in
- I'm so sick of hearing friction jokes... If I hear one more, I won't let it slide
- Do Frenchmen like slides? OOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIII!
- Why did the projectionist cross the road? To get the other slides.
Slip And Slide Jokes
Here is a list of funny slip and slide jokes and even better slip and slide puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I think my niece has a burgeoning slip 'n slide addiction Once you go down one, it's just a slippery slope.
- Did you hear they are making a new version of Slip n Slides for adults? They're calling them Flop n Stops
- Yo Momma so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide.
- Yo momma's so fat, she has to do a Slip 'N Slide on the 405 freeway.
- Yo Momma so fat she uses the 101 fwy for a slip 'n' slide!
- What do you call it when an adult slides down a metallic playground slide? A rrhoidian slip.
- What do people do in Greece? Slip and slide around.
- What did the n**... Hispanic boy say when someone retrieved his swimsuit after his embarrassing slip-and-slide run? Gracias
- How was the Slip 'N Slide created? A used Chuck Norris c**....
Powerpoint Slide Jokes
Here is a list of funny powerpoint slide jokes and even better powerpoint slide puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My boss told me to make a PowerPoint presentation about water parks. There's loads of slides.
- When I was a teen, my dad showed me a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on why one should always wear a c**... during s**.... All the slides were just pictures of me.
- My dad showed me a 30 minutes PowerPoint presentation that why c**... should be used during s**.... All slides had pictures of me.
- My dad showed me a 30 slide PowerPoint presentation on safe s**... and benefits of condoms... All the slides were pictures of me and my brother.
- Today my dad was educating my little brother with Powerpoint about why using a c**... during s**... is so important.. Every slide had a picture of me
Slide Rule Jokes
Here is a list of funny slide rule jokes and even better slide rule puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He tried to work it out with a slide rule.
Water Slide Jokes
Here is a list of funny water slide jokes and even better water slide puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Pharaoh's were buried with their hands across their chest... ....because of an ancient belief that there would be countless water slides in the after life.
- Go down a water slide when it isn't wet. And then you'll understand the importance of foreplay.
- You know what they say If the water slide is broken, the log ride's still open!
- I went on a water slide once and now I'm addicted It's a slippery slope
- This Is What It Looks Like When You Fail At The Water Slide | divide.club http://divide.club/sd80r-this-is-what-it-looks-like-when-you-fail-at-the-water-slide
- I can't believe that 11 year old got decapitated on a water slide I'd lose my mind
Howlingly Hilarious Slide Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about slide you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean roll jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slide pranks.
If There Are Any Scatophiles Out There . . .
. . . feel free to slide into my BM's.
My scout leader taught me a very valuable lesson...
... "If you lick your fingers and wet it a little, it will slide right in". Threading needles has never been this easy!
Looking at a playground, how can you tell which kid is the child of a trombonist?
He doesn't know how to use the slide and can't swing.
He raised a pretty good question, actually.
A man and his soon-to-be ex wife were fighting in court over the custody of their young girl. Asked by the judge to present an argument in his favor, the man says: "Well, your Honour, if you slide a coin into a vending machine and a snack comes out, is the snack yours, or the machine's?"
Why aren't your b**... horizontal?
Because if you went down a slide you'd go blblblblblblblblbll... (When telling the joke you're supposed to do a duck face and hum and put your finger up and down on your lips.
Every morning, I get out of bed and run around the block 5 times.
Then I slide the block back under the bed and go back to sleep.
A r**... family was visiting the city...
...and they were in a mall for the first time in their life. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nuthin'like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a large old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Boy, go git yo Momma."
An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...
An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "v**...!", and lands into bottles of v**... at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.
Somebody cut me off on the highway today during a rainstorm, and started hydroplaning in front of me.
I was cross with them at first, but then I just let it slide.
What does a Jamaican toddler say when it goes down a slide?
Wee-m'on.
Three Greeks and Three Turks are riding a train.
The Turks each buy one ticket, but the Greeks only buy one ticket total. The Turks are confused.
"How can you ride with one ticket?"
"Watch and you shall see."
The Greeks get on the train and pile into the bathroom. The Turks sit near the bathroom and observe. The conductor knocks on the door and says "Ticket please." The Greeks slide the ticket through the door.
The Turks think this is ingenious! They decide to try it, so on the ride back they buy only one ticket. But the Greeks don't buy any.
"How will you ride without any tickets?"
"Watch and you shall see."
They get on the train. The Turks pile into one bathroom, the Greeks into another. One Greek gets out of the bathroom, walks over to the bathroom the Turks are hiding in, and says:
"Ticket please."
Why did the chicken cross the school yard?
To get to the other slide!
Allowing questions during presentations at the Time Traveller's Conference is m**....
"That will have been covered on a previous slide."
Why are trombones the sexiest instruments in the orchestra?
Because they can be played in seven positions and you have to oil the slide.
Why did the bacteria cross the microscope?
To get to the other slide!
Courtesy of one of my Biology students
A man was pulled over for speeding...
A man was pulled over for speeding. The officer walks up to the car and says to the driver, "Look, I've had a long day and my shift is almost over. If you can give me a good reason why you're speeding, I'll let it slide"
The man replies, "well, officer, my wife left me a few weeks ago for a cop. I thought you were trying to bring her back."
HAGS disease
"I am afraid you have HAGS disease," the doctor explained, "That is h**..., Aids, Gonorrhea, and s**..., so we are immediately putting you on a pizza and pancake diet."
"Those foods will cure me?" he is asked.
"No," says the doctor, "But those foods we can slide under the door to the room we are locking you up in!"
"I'm sorry sir, but we've determined you have a highly contagious, deadly virus. You'll need to be kept in quarantine and fed a diet of pancakes."
"Oh my, that's horrible news, doctor. But will the pancakes really be able to help me get better?"
"No, that's just the only thing we can slide under the door."
What do people in Grease do on their birthdays?
Slide around a lot.
How are STEM majors and inflatable slides the same?
You start off excited over your lofty heights and slowly slide down into something soft.
An Irish man, a Russian man and an English man all go to a magic park
At the park there is a magic slide and each man who goes down it will recive a p**... of whatever they desire
The Irish man says "gold!" And he lands in a p**... of gold.
The Russian man says "silver! " and he lands in a p**... of silver.
The English man says "Weee! " and he lands in a p**... of wee.
How do monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
:D
Ice skaters...
...do it on the slide, if you know what I mean
A professor finished giving his lecture on clocks right before class ended
time was on his slide
Why does Father Christmas come down the chimney?
It helps him slide down with ease,
Why does the devil get such a bad rap?
Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide...
What dance did Nikola Tesla invent at the playground?
The Electric Slide
Man calls home before leaving the office, asks his wife to slide down the banister.
To get his dinner warmed up.
Why did the kindergartener cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
Why did the t**... player cross the page?
To get to the other slide.
What does a child going on a slide and a French girl having s**... have in common?
"Weeeeeeeeee Weeeeeeeeee Weeeeeeeeee!"
Two kittens are sitting at the edge of a slide. Which falls first?
The one with the lower mu
What do you call a slide on a roof?
A suiclide.
If Murphy's Law is correct,
then everything east of the San Andreas fault line will slide into the ocean.
Three girls sit at a bar bragging about how loose they are.
The first says she can fit a sausage. The second says a cucumber. The third starts to slide down the bar stool
I went out to a nightclub
They played the Twist, so I did the Twist.
They played the Cha-Cha Slide, so I did the Cha-Cha Slide.
They played Come On Eileen.
I'm banned from that nightclub, but I got a sweet restraining order.
I was thinking about buying a slide for £2000 last week.
But then I thought, "Phew, that's a bit steep."
I got pretty annoyed by the automatic door earlier.
But I just let it slide.
Why do people always put coconut oil on kale?
So it's easier for it to slide into the bin.
A pessimist finished building a majestic slide.
"Things can only go downhill from here."
You should try adding olive oil to Kale
It makes it much easier to slide into to the trash.
What did the french boy say while going down the slide?
Ouiiiiii
I work as quality assurance at a shopping cart factory.
When a I see a cart without wheels yet, I usually fix it, but sometimes I let it slide.
Have you ever seen a mature cow slide down a snowy hill on a pair of sticks?
Nope, never seen a Gronkowski
Did you hear that the Russian curling team was caught doping?
The IOC wouldn't let them slide.
Two kittens are sitting on a sloped tin roof and start to slide down at the same time. Which kitten falls off the roof first?
The one with the smaller μ (pronounced mew).
Did you guys hear about the boy who got decapitated in a water slide incident?
On the plus side, everyone got to jump a head in line.
(Sorry for how terrible this joke is. I came up with it when the news story first hit like a year ago, but didn't think to post until recent news regarding the accident made me remember it.)
An Englishman, an Scotsman and an Irishman...
are by a slide when a genie appears.
He grants the three men a wish each, as long as they say the wish going down the slide, in which they land in it.
So the Englishman goes first. As he's going down he says Money! And he lands in a p**... of money.
The Scotsman goes next. He slides down and he shouts n**... women! And he lands in a p**... of n**... women.
Lastly, it's Irishman's turn. He pushes himself down the slide and screams Weeeee!
One for the Mathematicians
Some engineers are trying to measure the height of a flagpole.
They only have a measuring tape, and they have not been able to slide the tape up the pole.
A mathematician asks what they are doing, and they explain.
The solution is easy, she says. She pulls the pole out of the ground, lays it down, and measures it.
After she leaves, one of the engineers says,
That is so typical! We tell a mathematician we need the height – and she gives us the length!
My six year old daughters first non-knock knock joke, told as a knock knock joke
Her: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Why did the chicken climb up the ladder and back down again?
Me: Sweetie, this isn't a how knock knock jokes work.
Her: Dad, this isn't a knock knock joke
Me: Okay.....
Her: To get to the other slide
What do French people say when they go down a slide?
Ouuuiiiiiiiiiii
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman meet a Genie.
The Genie says,
"You may all slide once down this magic slide. Whatever you shout on the way down will be what you land in at the end."
The Englishman slides down and shouts
"Lagerrrrrrrrrrrr!"
The Scotsman slides down and shouts
"Whsikeyyyyyy!"
Finally, the Irishman slides down, and at the top of his lungs, he exclaims:
"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Why was Sauron playing on the slide?
Because he was bored of the swings.
Why did the girl, that likes to go down, cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
McDonald's has called
Your mother is stuck in the slide
Joke and won funny
lady, does Cha Cha slide
how u likeing? she ask man
super nice he says
girl does ripper
MMMMMM man says
men in black comes on to Cha Cha slide
I took my son to a park, only to find out they had these steep, slippery inclines.
I guess I'll let this one slide.
My Dad made me watch a 20 minute video of why you should wear a c**... during s**....
Oddly it was just a 20min slide show with pictures of me...
My new slide which disposes the beverage you asked while sliding down definitely needs improvement.
Apparently it does not know how to separate a request and an expression of "wheeeee!".
Why did the playground-fanatic cross the road?
To get to the other slide!
Why should you cook kale in coconut oil?
Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.
Why did the toddler cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to slide in and out of a hole its slide into before?
A key
I'm the most sensitive person you know
my cursor goes from side to side in one slide of a finger
Two cavemen are waiting at the doctor's office
The first says, "Me name Phil. Me get bee sting. Why you here?"
The second one, covered in blood, smiles and says, "Me name Mike. Me get hit by boulder during rock slide."
The first says, "That must hurt! Why you look so happy?"
The second says, "Me celebrating. It's Mike Ache Day!"
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide! My 5 year old told me this. I'm sure it isn't OC, but I got a chuckle.
