Slices Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Slices jokes. There are some slices loaves jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these slices recipe puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Playful Slices Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

A German, an American, and a Russian are arguing who can feed a spoonful of mustard to a cat more easily...

The German just grabs the cat and forces the spoon with mustard into its mouth. The other two protest: "This is violence!"

The American hides the mustard between two slices of sausage. The other two protest: "This is deception!"

The Russian spreads the mustard under the cat's tail. The cat starts furiously licking it off, meowing loudly. "See - he does it voluntarily and with songs!"

A little girl helping with holiday meal.

She gives her grandpa a slice of pumpkin pie. He passes it down the table.
She brings out another slice of pie and gives to grandpa. He passes it down the table.
She brings out another slice of pie and gives to grandpa. He passes it down the table.
She slams her hand down. "Grandpa, this is ridiculous! All the slices are the same size!"

Does anyone else love thick sandwiches with three slices of bread and two layers of filling?

We should make a club.

What do you call a guy with a slice of ham on his head?

Hammed....

What do you call a guy with two slices of ham on his head?

Mohammed...

What do you call a guy with two slices of ham on his head standing between two buildings?

Mohammed Ali.

(Hope I didn't offend anyone ;p)

jokes about slices

Why didn't the two slices of bread talk?

Because there was beef between them!

> I was arguing with my girlfriend about what constitutes a sandwich. One thing lead to another and this corny joke was born. It's probably been said before. Enjoy!

Who was the roundest member of Sir Arthurs round table?

Sir Cumference.

He at too much Pi.

He ate approximately 3.142 slices

Yur mom is so fat

Her nipples look like bologna slices.

Slices joke, Yur mom is so fat

I'm confused...

square box, round pizza but triangle slices.

The Pizza Cutter

A guy walks into a pizza place to pick up the pizza he ordered. The worker behind the counter says, "Would you like your pizza cut in eight slices or ten?" The man replies, "You better make it eight - I don't think I could eat all ten!"

I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food...

We should definitely make America grate again.

You know those slices of American cheese you get from the supermarket? You're not going to be able to buy those anymore.

Since Trump is going to make America grate again, apparently.

You can explore slices deli reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean slices slicing pickles dad jokes. There are also slices puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Recipe for a trump sandwich.

2 slices of white bread.
Full of balogna.
Russian dressing.
And a tiny little pickle.

How often do I put orange slices in my beer?

Oh, once in a Blue Moon.

What do you get when you divide 3.14 by 6?

6 slices of pi

I like my woman like I like my pizza

filled with sausage, cut into slices, and still warm!!

Did you hear the two slices of bread broke up?

I wonder rye.

Slices joke, Did you hear the two slices of bread broke up?

So Cool Papa walks into a pie shop...

He asks, "how's the pecan pie?"

The Beatnik behind the counter sez "I'm sorry, but, the pecan pie's gone."

Cool Papa sez "Solid. I'll take two slices."

Two Slices in a Ham Sandwich Marry Each Other.

I bet their children will be inbread.

I've heard one beer = 7 slices of bread

I ate a whole loaf and I'm not drunk yet.
Did I do it wrong?

Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with 2 round slices of cucumber on her eyes ...

I wonder where the rest of the cucumber is.

I saw a man at the grocery store flinging slices of American cheese into the air.

He then started chugging cartons of milk right off the shelf.

After that he started smashing containers of yogurt open on his forehead.

It was shocking. All I could think was how dare he!

Me and my wife went out for dinner. I ordered the Meatloaf...

...they brought me 3 slices and I ate 2. She complained i didn't finish, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad....

Would you like the pizza cut into eight or twelve slices?

Just eight, I don't think I could eat twelve!

how many slices of bread can you get from a whole loaf?

One, because then it isn't a whole loaf anymore

A guy goes to his butcher

He asked for sliced ham. The butcher takes his block of ham, put on the machine and start cutting some slices. He cuts 1 slice, 2 slices, 3 slices and looks at the customer:

Should I stop or do you want me to go on?

Go on, go on!

I cuts 5 mores slices and look at the customer again:

Go on, keep cutting some slices .

The butcher continue his work and after a long time and 11 more slices the customer says:

Stop! That's the one I want.

I asked for a few slices of salami at the grocery store.

Since there was only a small piece of salami left, I added: "Without fingertips, please."

Slices joke, I asked for a few slices of salami at the grocery store.

A woman was caught shoplifting a can of peaches.

She was brought before the judge who asked, How many peach slices were in the can?

Six, she replied.

Ok, I'll give you six days.

Her husband, seated court, raised his hand and said, Your honor, she also stole a bag of rice.

Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

A blonde orders a medium pizza

The cashier asks if she wants it cut into four or eight slices.

"Hmm... four. I don't think I can eat eight."

A Blonde went for a pizza. The chef said would you like it cut into 4 slices or 8? Blonde said 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

A joke that only Jews will get.

A Jewish man is getting married to a nonreligious woman. His religion is important to him so she agrees to have a Jewish wedding. The ceremony goes well, and all that's left is for the groom to break the glass. He steps on the glass, and it breaks in such a way that it slices his foot right through the shoe. He's bleeding badly.
The bride screams "Oh no he's hurt! Is anyone here a doctor?"

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

**Diabetes.**

What? Did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

*I waited an entire year to say this*

My wife left me because every tangerine I bought had exactly five slices

She said I didn't have six a peel.

Reminds me of the time I was down in Mexico. I saw what I thought was a shrub covered in slices of pork...

I went for a closer look and one of the locals stopped me. "Don't go down there, SeΓ±or..." he tells me, "...Eetsa Hambush."

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Fat. You get fat.

What? Like I would make a pie joke on my cake day?

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

​

Diabetes.

What? Did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

What do you call 52 slices of bread?

A deck of carbs!

3 people are fighting

An American,British, And Chinese are fighting over who is the best swordsman. They say whoever can slice that fly on half wins.

The American slices in half with ease.

The British does 2 slices, and it's in 4 pieces.

The Chinese does one swipe. The American and the British are like, what is that? It's still flying.

The Chinese responds, it's sex life is over.

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

Two slices of bread are competing to see who would stay fresh the longest.

It ended in a stalemate.

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes. You get Diabetes.

Did you think I'd make a pi joke on my cake day?

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Fat.

What. Did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

In the Resident Evil series, how does one make a proper Jill Sandwich?

You put it between two slices of Breadfield and then add some Weskershire sauce.

A Blonde went to buy a Pizza, Chef asked her, would you like it cut into 4 or 8 slices.?

Blonde replied, 4 please.

There is no way I could possibly eat 8 slices.

What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?

Diabetes.

What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?

^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke

I ordered a ham and cheese at Subway

The sandwich artist began making my selection, using his right hand to place the slices of ham.

Suddenly, he pulled his hand away and cried out in pain.

Ouch! Hand cramp!

Before I could ask if he was ok, he finished stacking the slices of ham with his left hand.

Lucky for you I'm hambidexterous he said.

Two slices of bread got married.

The ceremony was going quite well until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.

Blonde Joke.

A Blonde went for a pizza.

The chef said, would you like it cut into four slices or eight?

Blonde said, four please.

There is no way I could possibly eat eight slices.

My doctor tells me that a healthy serving of red meat is the size of a deck of cards.

Tonight I ate 52 slices of roast beef.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the slices baloney puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working slices salami piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes