Slicer Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Pickle Slicer

So a guy comes home from work, kinda bummed out, and his wife asked "What's wrong dear?" The fella says "Every day when I leave work I have the urge to stick my finger in the bottom of the pickle slicer." His wife replies "Well, if it bothers you that much then do it, but I don't want to hear about you getting hurt."

So the next day the guy comes home with a black eye and his wife asks what happened. "Remember what I said about putting my finger in the bottom of the pickle slicer?" And the wife says "Uh, yeah - how did that work out?"

"Well, I should have asked her first!"

A man is caught having sex with the ham slicer at a grocery store. [NSFW]

Word quickly gets around town, two men are discussing the story in a bar.

One says, "A ham slicer? That sounds painful."

The other man replies, "yeah, naturally he ended up getting fired for it."

The first man then asks, "well, what did they do with the ham slicer in the end?"

The man replies, "oh, she got fired as well."

The butcher

A butcher gets his finger stuck in a slicer and cuts it off. He spends all day at the hospital getting the stump sewn up, then calls his wife.

"Honey, I'm in the hospital," he says. "I accidentally cut off my finger, but I'm OK."

"Oh, God!" she cries. "The whole finger?"

"No. The one next to it."

Worst foursome in golf history

1. Stormy Daniels
2. O. J. Simpson
3. Ted Kennedy
4. Bill Clinton

Why? You ask

1. Stormy is a hooker.
2. O. J. is a slicer.
3. Ted can't drive over water, and
4. Bill can't remember which hole he played last..

Did you hear about the butcher who sat on his bacon slicer?

He got a little behind in his deliveries.

"The search for the man who terrorises nudist camps with a bacon slicer goes on....

Inspector Lemuel Jones had a tip-off this morning, but hopes to be back on duty tomorrow."

I have a friend who worked at a pickle factory

He got fired for putting his finger in the pickle slicer...

She got fired too.

Last week, a girl at a local bakery backed into the bread slicer...


Some people think it's easy to be a cheese slicer....

But most people just can't cut it

My friend was fired for sticking his finger in the pickle slicer again the other day

Don't worry they fired her too

What are the funniest slicer jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Slicer? Well, here are the best Slicer puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Slicer pick up lines to share with friends.


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