Sleeve Jokes

88 sleeve jokes and hilarious sleeve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleeve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Unlock your funniest side with these hilarious sleeve jokes! From jokes about no sleeves and gastric sleeve surgeries to jokes about forearm pumps and tugging sleeves, these jokes will have you in stitches! Rejoice in rib-tickling glee with these sleeve jokes!

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Funniest Sleeve Short Jokes

Short sleeve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sleeve humour may include short collar jokes also.

  1. People always ask me how I sneak chocolate into the cinema. Well ... I got a few Twix up my sleeve.
  2. I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from. He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
  3. I almost got busted for shoplifting candy today... But I got out of it. I've got a couple of twix up my sleeve.
  4. Chinese magican Did you hear about the Chinese Magican who did magic with Chocolate?
    I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
  5. I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray
  6. Did you hear about the magician that had chocolate in his shirt? He had some Twix up his sleeve
  7. I asked a pregnant woman if I could feel the baby She said that I could, but once I started rolling my sleeve up past my elbow she ran away. Rude.
  8. Starting this Thursday, some movie theaters will not allow large bags inside the theater But thank god I have a few twix up my sleeve
  9. Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!
  10. If a arm covered in tattoos is called a "sleeve", what do you call a full body covered in tattoos? A mistake.

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Sleeve One Liners

Which sleeve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sleeve? I can suggest the ones about glove and sweatshirt.

  1. I steal candy bars using slight of hand... You could say I have a few Twix up my sleeve
  2. I'm a pro at shoplifting candy bars. How, you ask? I got a few Twix up my sleeve.
  3. How do you get a Jewish Girl's number? Roll up her sleeve!
  4. Did you hear about the candy magician? He's got a couple of twix up his sleeve
  5. How did the chocolatier escape police custody? He had a few twix up his sleeve.
  6. When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve
  7. I asked a Jewish girl for her number. She rolled up her sleeve.
  8. What do you call a short sleeved British shirt? A tea-shirt.
    Please don't hurt me.
  9. Guy puts candy bar in shirt His dad always said to keep Twix up your sleeve.
  10. Have you heard about the chocolate box thief? He's always got a few Twix up his sleeve.
  11. My principal doesn't allow guns in school... ...So i had to put on a long sleeve shirt
  12. What do you call a shirt missing its sleeves? An ampu-tee.
  13. What do you call a group of white people A sleeve, because that's what crackers come in.
  14. I've got an ace up my sleeve (It's me i'm ace)
    (and i'm in these sleeves)
  15. I got this Jewish girl's number She rolled her sleeve up

No Sleeve Jokes

Here is a list of funny no sleeve jokes and even better no sleeve puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I always go shoplifting for chocolate bars using slight of hand. I certainly have a few Twix up my sleeve.
  • Did you hear about the magician who could make a full breakfast appear out of nowhere? He has some Trix up his sleeves.
  • Second Amendment The Second Amendment of the Constitution affords me the right to wear short sleeve shirts to work.
    The right to bare arms.
  • I love when Americans wear short sleeves. It's good to see them supporting their right to bare arms.
  • Did you know that the U.S. Constitution protects the right to wear a short-sleeved shirt? It says "the right to bare arms shall not be infringed."
    (credit to my dad for this one)
  • I refuse to play poker with my friend because he has a tattoo of Jim Carrey from 1994 on his forearm. He's always got an ace up his sleeve.
  • What did the terrible fat Magician say to the audience? I may not know any magic but I do have a few Twix up my sleeve.
  • What's your number? A jewish girl and a man walks into a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. She lifts her sleeve.
  • People think they're being polite when they sneeze into their sleeves, but really it' snot
  • The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of….. Koala-t
Sleeve joke, The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have

Cheeky Sleeve Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity

What funny jokes about sleeve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wrist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sleeve pranks.

Jewish jokes.

1: How do you pick up a Jewish girl? - A dustpan
2: How do you get a Jewish girl's number? - Roll up her sleeve.

Long Sleeve Woven Shirts

If you try to get the best quality long sleeve woven shirt, then you have to make sure that good attempts are made by you to get the perfect one.

A man on fire

A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.

I told my wife I need to sign up for concealed carry classes...

She asked me, "Why do you need to sign up for concealed carry classes?"
I told her, "It's getting cold outside, every time I put on a long sleeve shirt I am carrying two concealed guns."
She look at me and said, "Honey, marshmallow canons aren't real guns, you'll be fine."

Did you hear about the blonde woman who has three hours of footage of raw chicken on her iPhone?

The cooking instructions said remove sleeve and film.

I decided to hand out free Twix bars to people passing by on the street.

I did this for about 10 minutes, then someone noticed I had no more in my hand.
"Aww, was that your last one?" they asked.
I replied "Don't worry, I have more Twix up my sleeve."

A man and a young boy are walking through a deep, dark forest...

The young boy tugs on the man's sleeve and says "I'm scared."
So the man says, "You think *you're* scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

Hear about the serial killer who was actually quite sensitive?

He wore other people's hearts on his sleeve.

How did the teacher solve the integral of dx/(x^2((x^2)-4)^1/2)?

I guess he had a few trig sub his sleeve

We hired a teenage girl at my hardware store

I was showing her around the aisles when I picked up something off the shelf and pointed it at my self and made a beeping sound.
I said, "This is a stud-finder" and laughed.
She pulled up her sleeve, showed me her FitBit and made a beeping sound. She said, "This is a p**...-meter."

I had to get a open carry license

To wear a short sleeve shirt

My friends think im a magician when I make chocolate disappear...

But little do they know, i'v got a few Twix up my sleeve...

A man is found dead surrounded by 53 bicycles. How did he die?

He had an ace up his sleeve.

So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...

So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf h**...... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"

[Offensive] One from the pub again: an old Jewish man wins the lottery...

It's a big old lottery, and he has to go up on stage to accept it.
His speech? He thanks his mum, his dad, his family, and then h**....
Everyone's all riled up. They ask: why h**...?
He rolls up his sleeve, flips his arm over, and tells the crowd: "Well, he gave me the numbers."

A man went to visit his doctor because his arm is hurting.

"Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?" the man pleads.
The doctor rolls up the man's sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk.
"Hello, Doctor," says the arm. "Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I'm desperate!"
"Aha!'' says the doctor. ''I see the problem. Your arm is broke!"

Why do left-handed people make their smileys like this (:

So they don't get ink on their sleeve !

John, who lost his leg because of the war.

John was sitting on a bench eating a poptart, with one of his arms on the inside of his shirt instead of through his sleeve. One of his friends came up and said, "Oh man, a pop tart?! That looks delicious! Where'd you get it!" John responded, "At the store down the street, but be careful, in this economy it'll cost you an arm and a leg."

Stopped by the police

I spilled some gas on my sleeve while gassing up one day. Got back on the highway and lit up a smoke and started my sleeve on fire. I put my arm out the window but the flames did not go away. I sped up to 70 then 80 when I noticed the flashing lights behind me. The cop says "looks like I'm going to have to write you a couple of tickets " I said I know I was speeding but what else?"
"Possession of a firearm sir "

What did the Red Hot Chili Peppers do when their producer said he didn't like their new tracks?

They bought long sleeve shirts.

Why did the magician with a speech impediment buy a candy bar?

Because he wanted to have a few Twix up his sleeve.

Did you guys hear about the cereal p**...?

He had trix up his sleeve

Don't worry about the p**...-magician...

She has a few tricks up her sleeve.

I have a few Aces up my sleeve.

In fact, I have them in s**....

Did you hear about the sentimental cannibal?

He wears you heart on his sleeve

Why did the magician keep candy bars in his arm pockets?

He always liked to have a few Twix up his sleeve.

I'm not a magician but...

I got a couple of twix up my sleeve

Why didn't the Congolese karate Kid didn't want to play against the Belgian one ?

He heard the Belgian had some hand-chopping moves up his sleeve.

A golfer is playing golf by himself one Sunday morning. He comes to a par 3 that goes over a lake.

Dejectedly he takes an old scruffed up ball out of his bag and tees it up.
Suddenly he hears a loud , commanding voice from above say: TEE UP A NEW BALL.
He looks around surprised, then opens a brand new sleeve of Titleist and tees one up.
He hears the voice again: TAKE A PRACTICE SWING .
So he steps back and takes his best practice swing.
He hears the voice again: TEE UP AN OLD BALL.

So I'm at this party

And I see this beautiful jewish girl looking at me. So I bring her a drink and start up a conversation. We really just hit it off. After a few minutes I asked for her number, so she rolled up her sleeve

An old holocaust survivor dies and goes up to heaven....

He asks God,
"How do you get a girl's number in Auschwitz? Roll up her sleeve."
God doesn't laugh.
The Jew shrugs and says, "Eh. I guess you had to be there to understand".

The Detective's Conundrum

The detective walked into the smokey room. His assistant scurried in after. He took in the scene.
A dim light.
A flipped table.
And 53 bicycles laying all around the floor.
"It's apparent what he wrong here," the detective said.
"What is it?" asked the perplexed assistant.
"Someone had an ace up their sleeve."

A magician gets himself a parrot for his act

After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"

A daughter comes home and proudly shows off her new dress to her dad.

"Oh honey, that's a beautiful dress! What fabric is it? Is it felt?"
The girl looks confused and asks, "um, I don't know, why?"
The dad walks up to her, touches her sleeve and goes:
"Well, it is now."

My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night.

"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve.
"Guess how old I'm going to be next month."
"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses.
"How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours.
She still refuses to tell us where she got them.

A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.

In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"

Sleeve joke, Did you hear about the candy magician?

jokes about sleeve