sleeps Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious sleeps puns

Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud..

But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them.

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A woman visits her husband in prison

Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:

"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"

The officer laughs, saying:

"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"

"Bullshit! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"

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Its funny how we all sleep differently.

I sleep on my side, my brother sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody...that sorta thing.

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If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it..........

He's gay, definitely gay.

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If a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut. But if a guy does the same thing, then he's gay.

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My urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away

a whim away, a whim away, a whim away

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Star Wars Episode 7-9 Titles Revealed

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Force Sleeps For Five More Minutes

Star Wars Episode IX: The Force Is Late For Work

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Double standards are the worst.

I mean, if a girl sleeps with lots of guys, she's considered a slut.

But when a guy does it, he's considered a homosexual.

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My mate picks up women by pretending to be gay

He says it lures them into a false sense of security and when their guard drops he sleeps with them.

I thought that it couldn't reallly hurt my chances just to try.

3 years later, Mark and I now own a house together, 2 turtles, 3 fish and we are scheduled to be married next week. Still no sign of getting any pussy though.

Maybe this strategy isn't for me...

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Why is that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he's a player

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys it's your mom?

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The Biggest Coward

Two kids are arguing over whose father is the biggest coward.

The first kid says," My dad is so scared that when a lightning strikes my dad slides underneath our bed."

The second kid goes," That's nothing, my dad is so scared, that when mummy works night shift, my dad sleeps with the woman next door."

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Why is it that when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls he is a player...

But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys i'm not one of them?

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How come when a girl sleeps with loads of men, she's called a slut, yet when a guy does the same,

He's called gay.

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Girls vs Guys

How come that when a women sleeps with a bunch of guys, she is considered a slut but when a man does it, he is considered gay?

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I think it's interesting how people sleep differently

I usually sleep on my back, my brother sleeps on his stomach, and my ex sleeps with half of this town

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It's crazy how everyone sleeps differently.

I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone.

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Don't you hate double standards?

Don't you hate double standards? If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she is called a slut, but when a guy does it he is called a homosexual.

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My wife and I are into S&M

She sleeps and I masturbate :(

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What do you call a girl that sleeps with you for your Adderall?

A total attention whore.

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Whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

Only two more sleeps until christmas.

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It's funny how we all sleep differently.

I sleep on my side,my roommate sleeps on his back,my ex sleeps with everybody.That sort of thing

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The slut double-standard

The 'slut' double-standard always kind of annoys me. If a woman sleeps with a bunch of dudes, she's a slut, but if a guy goes out and does the same thing, all of a sudden he's 'gay'.

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I am in the S&M period in my relationship

She sleeps, I masturbate.

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Double standards

If a girl sleeps with heaps of guys she's called a slut, But if I do it I'm gay.

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If a girl sleeps with a lot of guys, she's a slut. But if a man does.....

He's gay, he's definitely gay

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Gender inequality.

There is an inequality when it comes to men and women. For example...

If a man sleeps with hundreds of women he is respected and labled as a stud or a player. Nothing bad is said about him and he goes on acting like the player he is.

However, if a woman that goes around sleeping with hundreds of men, she's your mum.

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It's interesting how we all sleep differently.

I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back, and my ex sleeps with everyone.

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If a woman sleeps with many guys shes called a slut.

But if a man does the same, he's definitely gay

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If a woman sleeps with lots men, she's a slut. Though if a guy does the same....

...he's gay

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Funny that when a girl sleeps with a lot of guys she's considered a slut ...

but when I do it I'm gay.

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What's the difference between a slut and a bitch?

A slut sleeps with everybody. A bitch sleeps with everybody but you.

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A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.

Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?

The student having no idea hands the professor $1.

Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?

The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.

Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?

The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

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I was talking to my buddy about 50 Shades Of Grey

He said "yeah, my wife and I have been doing S&M for years."
"Really!", I said, "I had no idea!"
"Sure," he said, "she sleeps and I masturbate!"

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It's funny how we all sleep differently, isn't it?

Well, I mean, I sleep on my side, my friend sleeps on his back, my ex sleeps with everybody... That sort of thing..

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The homeless man and the farmer

A homeless man comes up to a farmers house and knocks on the door, when the farmer answers, the homeless man asks "May i spend the night?" to which the farmer replies, "Sure, but you're going to have to sleep in the stable." So the homeless man agrees and sleeps in the stable with all the animals.

In the morning the farmer comes in and asks "How did you sleep?" and the homeless man says "I slept good. And I talked to your animals too." the farmer says, "Really?"

"Yes, I talked to the chickens," he responded, "and they said that you come in every morning at 4am to collect the eggs."

"Wow," the farmer says, "That's right!"

"I also talked to the cows," the homeless man continued, "And they told me every morning at 5am, you milk them"

"That's amazing!" the farmer responds.

"I also talked to the sheep, and they said-"

"THOSE SHEEP ARE LIARS!!!!"

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What are the most funny Sleeps jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Sleeps? Well, here are the best Sleeps dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Sleeps pick up lines to share with friends.

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