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Sleepless Nights Jokes

9 sleepless nights jokes and hilarious sleepless nights puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleepless nights that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Sleepless Nights Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good sleepless nights joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps...

She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."

The Drums Must Not Stop

A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."

What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic do?

Stays up at night sleepless, wondering endlessly if there really is a dog.

My physics professor fails any student turning in a report without a blue coversheet

After working on my report all night, I accidentally used a white coversheet in a sleepless stupor. When I got to class the next morning, I panicked and threw the report at him at close to the speed of light!
I got a B+

"Some foods give me sleepless nights," I told my wife.

"Like what?" she asked.
"Brussels Sprouts."
"But you don't eat Brussels Sprouts."
"No," I said, "but you do."

I've spent three sleepless nights trying to think of a mountain pun.

I'm starting to think I won't Everest.

After many sleepless nights I have discovered that..

Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning

Happy Mothers Day.Take a minute to thank you mom who went sleepless nights to take care of you

A woman has been having stomach pain for the past week...

A woman goes to the doctor complaining of stomach cramps. Once she reaches the doctor, he tells her they'll need to run a few tests. At the end of the visit, he says she must come back in a week, when the results come in. Once she enters his office, he says, "Well, I hope you're ready for many sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!"
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman asks excitedly, clasping her hands.
"No, you have inoperable bowel cancer."


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