Sleepless Jokes
7 sleepless jokes and hilarious sleepless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleepless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Do you ever have those sleepless nights where you can’t help but laugh at yourself? Check out this collection of jokes related to sleepless nights, night terrors, and struggling to stay asleep. Enjoy a good chuckle as you drift off into sweet dreams.
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What is a good sleepless joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A woman goes to the doctors complaining of stomach cramps...
She gets sent off for some test and comes back a week later.
"Well, I hope you're ready for endless sleepless nights of crying and changing dirty diapers!" the doc says.
"Wow, you mean I'm pregnant?" the woman replies thrilled.
"No, you've got bowel cancer."
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
What does an insomniac, agnostic, dyslexic do?
Stays up at night sleepless, wondering endlessly if there really is a dog.
My physics professor fails any student turning in a report without a blue coversheet
After working on my report all night, I accidentally used a white coversheet in a sleepless stupor. When I got to class the next morning, I panicked and threw the report at him at close to the speed of light!
I got a B+
"Some foods give me sleepless nights," I told my wife.
"Like what?" she asked.
"Brussels Sprouts."
"But you don't eat Brussels Sprouts."
"No," I said, "but you do."
I've spent three sleepless nights trying to think of a mountain pun.
I'm starting to think I won't Everest.
Why was King Arthur's army too tired to fight?
It had too many sleepless Knights!
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