Sleeping Pills Jokes
52 sleeping pills jokes and hilarious sleeping pills puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleeping pills that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sleeping Pills Short Jokes
Short sleeping pills jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sleeping pills humour may include short pills jokes also.
- Don't ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time. But if you do, you will sleep like a baby.
- Why did the blonde tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? She didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
- People say the hardest part of the first date is the first kiss. No idea what they mean, the hardest part of my first date was getting her to take the sleeping pills.
- I just found out why they open medicine cabinets very carefully... To not disturb and wake up the sleeping pills...
- I said to the chemist: Can I have some sleeping pills for the wife? He said: Why? I said: She keeps waking up.
- I remember once before a big school exam, I wanted to get a good night's rest, so I asked my Mom if I could borrow some of her sleeping pills. She said "Sure! Knock yourself out!"
- Roseanne and Bill Cosby have at least one thing in common. They can both blame the sleeping pills.
- My friend keeps lying about how he didn't steal my sleeping pills Whatever helps him sleep at night.
- The blonde tip-toed near the medicine cabinet so that she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills. This is not a joke, ambien serious!
- Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.
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Sleeping Pills One Liners
Which sleeping pills one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sleeping pills? I can suggest the ones about painkillers and narcolepsy.
- I always walk very quietly past pharmacies... so I don't wake up the sleeping pills.
- Why should you be quiet in a pharmacy? In case you wake the sleeping pills!
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep? A trunkquilizer.
- I started using sleeping pills yesterday Rest assured they worked
- Last night I took a sleeping pill and a laxative before bed.. I slept like a baby
- How can you sleep with one eye open? Take half of a sleeping pill ...!
- I found an alternative to time travel but it doesn't work retroactively Sleeping pills.
- What is the edgiest food? Sleeping pills
- Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills.
They made him blink. - I bought counterfeit sleeping pills. Gave me poor quality dreams.
- My neighbor just died of an overdose. He forgot to take his homeopathic sleeping pills.
Comical Sleeping Pills Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about sleeping pills you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sleep deprivation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sleeping pills pranks.
An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor.
When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, I'd like to have some birth control pills. Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you're 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?" The woman replied, "They help me sleep better." The doctor considered this for a second, and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?" The woman said, "I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice, and I sleep better at night."
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor.
When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”
A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer.
"
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor’s office.
“Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.”
“I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications.
“Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over.”
“Great,” the blonde answered, “I’ll try anything. Let’s give it a shot.”
A few weeks later the blonde returned, looking worse than ever.
“Doc, your plan is no good. I’m more tired than before!”
“I don’t understand how that could be”, said the doctor, shaking his head. “Those are the strongest pills on the market!”
“That may be true,” answered the blonde wearily, “but I’m still up all night chasing those dogs and when I finally catch one it’s hard getting him to s**... the pill!
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal.
"
Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit."
(After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines).
Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
"Doctor, I need some more sleeping pills for my wife". "What's happened?"
"She's woken up"
i once had a beautiful wife, she was always the prettiest when she was asleep.
Unfortunately she died after i gave her too many sleeping pills.
Grandma and her birth control pills
Grandma scheduled the first visit with the new doctor in town. The doctor's office told her to bring a list of her medications with her for the consultation. The doctor was reading the list and came upon one prescription. "Pardon me, but do you realize these are birth control pills?" asked the doctor. Grandma said, "yes, but I need them so I can get a good night's sleep."
The doctor said, "there's nothing in these pills which would cause you to sleep." Grandma said, "that may well be, but, when I take one and grind it up in my 16-year-old granddaughter's orange juice, I sleep better at night."
It used to take five scotches and a sleeping pill to get me on a plane.
Worked for me, not the Air Force.
"Sir, wake up!"
The nurse said to the old patient.
"Why?" he asked.
"Because i forgot to give you your sleeping pills!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sleeping Pills
A man walks into his doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need sleeping pills".
"Why, what's going on?", replies the doctor.
"I have these two songs constantly stuck in my head and I can't sleep! You've got to help me!", implores the man.
"Well which two songs?" asks the doctor.
"That song 'What's New p**...' and the theme song to the movie Thunderball", the man tells the doctor.
"Ah. You've got Tom Jones Syndrome", the doctor solemnly tells the man.
"Tom Jones Syndrome? I've never heard of that! Is it rare?" the man asks.
The doctor replies, "It's not unusual".
why did silly Billy tip toe passed the medicine cabinet?
Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sometimes my girlfriend takes her sleeping pill, passes out and initiates s**....
We call it the reverse Cosby.
Doctor: wake up! wake up!
Patient: what's going on?
Doctor: time to eat sleeping pills
they help me sleep better
An old lady goes to a pharmacists and orders contraception pills.
"Why do you need them, in your age?" asks the pharmacist.
"They help me sleep better," replies the old woman.
"How is that possible?" asks the pharmacist.
"I put them in my granddaughter's drink and then I sleep better..."
An elderly woman went into the doctor's office.
When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, "I'd like to have some birth-control pills."
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, "Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you're 72 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?"
The woman responded, "They help me sleep better."
The doctor thought some more and continued, "How in the world do birth control pills help you to sleep?"
The woman said, "Simple. I put them in my granddaughter's orange juice every morning and I sleep better at night."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Death: Jack! Your time is up. I'll take you now.
Jack: Not today please, I have a lot more to do.
Death: Oh no, you're the first on the list to die.
Jack: Alright, I'll finish what I'm doing first. Even better, I'll make you some coffee while you wait. And after I'm done, we can leave.
(Jack put sleeping pills in the coffee and when Death fell asleep, Jack erased his name and placed it at the end of the list)
Death: Woah! My friend, I slept well. You're a good person Jack, you treated me very well. Because of that, I'll just start with the last one on the list.
One day death came to a Guy and said, Hey, today is your last day.
Guy: But I'm not ready!
Death said, "Well today your name is the first on my list."
Guy: Okay then why don't you take a seat and we will drink a COFFEE before we go?
Death: All right.
The Guy gave Death some COFFEE with sleeping pills in it. Death finished COFFEE and fell into a deep sleep!!! The Guy took the list & removed his name from top of the list and put at the bottom of the list!!
When Death woke up he said to the Guy, "Because you have been so nice to me now I will start my job from the BOTTOM of the list."