Sleeping Early Jokes
18 sleeping early jokes and hilarious sleeping early puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleeping early that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sleeping Early Short Jokes
Short sleeping early jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sleeping early humour may include short sleeping late jokes also.
- Sleep joke Why be an early bird or night owl when you can just be an insomniac and get the best of both worlds.
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Sleeping Early One Liners
Which sleeping early one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sleeping early? I can suggest the ones about waking up early and waking up late.
- A girl who I've been seeing goes to sleep early. But that's mostly from the chloroform.
- Why does the nudist always go to bed early? Because he never sleeps in much!
- Why did the hipster go to bed early? Because he sleeps before it gets cool.
- Last night i was able to prevent s**... assault by going to sleep early.
Sleeping Early Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about sleeping early you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean staying up late jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sleeping early pranks.
I have recently become a new man
I don't drink, i smoke very rarely, i don't stare at girls, i go to sleep early, i wake up early and I work hard everyday. My supervisors are happy with me. I will definitely abandon this lifestyle once i get out of jail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross an early bird and a night owl?
Shut the f up, I only got 2 hours of sleep last night!
A man writing in his diary:
I am an ideal man. I don't smoke, drink, or go to night clubs. I have always been loyal to my wife and don't flirt with strange women. I sleep at eight o'clock and wake up early. I exercise daily and work regular hours. But all this will change as soon as I get out of prison.
After years of lobbying, a town finally got train service.
A county official noticed an increase in the town's birth rate and went to investigate. After interviewing a few people he discovered that the explanation is noise from the 5AM express train: At that time it's too early to get up and too late to go back to sleep…
Give me two good reasons
Today, all schools reopened after a long summer vacation.
In one home in our neighbourhood, early this morning, a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
SON : Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
MOM : Give me two good reasons why you don't want to go to school??
SON : "One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me!!
MOM : Oh! that's not a reason darling. Come on, you have to go to school.
SON : OK. You give me two good reasons, WHY I should go to school?
MOM : One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old, and should understand your responsibilities!
Two You are the 'PRINCIPAL' of the school "😂
Baseball in Heaven
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90's, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they're reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man's friend asks, "Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there's baseball in heaven."
The dying man said, "We've been friends for years, this I'll do for you." And then he dies.
A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend's voice. The voice says, "I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there's baseball in heaven."
"What's the bad news?"
"You're pitching on Wednesday."
A mother tries to convince her son to go to school
Early one morning a mother went to her sleeping son and woke him up, Wake up, son. It's time to go to school.
Son: Awww Mom! I don't want to go to school.
Mom: Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school.
Son:
One, all the children hate me.
Two, all the teachers hate me.
Mom: Oh, that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school.
Son: Okay, you give me two good reasons why I should go to school!"
Mom:
One,
you are FIFTY-TWO years old,
And should understand your responsibilities.
Two,
You're the principal of the school! "
A man walks into a bar and sits next to a guy with a little head.......
After having a couple drinks the man asks the other guy, "hey, I don't mean to be rude, but how is it you have such a small head."
The guy replies, "well it's a bitter sweet story. You see when I was in the war my plane got shot down in the Pacific. I parachuted out and ended up on an deserted island."
He continued, "after several months on this deserted island, a beautiful mermaid suddenly appeared and granted me three wishes."
"My first wish is that I'd like to be rescued from this island I told her."
To which the Mermaid said, "tomorrow a rescue boat will find you."
"My second wish is that I'd like to be rich for the rest of my days."
The Mermaid said, "invest early in these companies, and you will be a wealthy man...and what is your final wish?"
"Well Mermaid, you know I've been stranded on this island for so long, and seeing as you are so beautiful, I'd wish for nothing more than to sleep with you."
The Mermaid sighed and said, "I cannot grant you that wish, you see I'm a half fish, it would not work."
Frustrated, the man said, "Well how about a little head then?"
In the year 3000, animals rule the Earth;
they talk and drive sportscars.
An owl enters a psychologist's office.
The psychologist says to the owl, "What is your problem?"
The owl replies, "I always sleep at night and am awake during the day. I am an owl and we usually are awake during the night."
The psychologist tells the owl to come back in two days to solve his problem, as he is very busy.
The next night, a cat comes in.
He says, "I always sleep during the day. Like my friends, I want to sleep during the night. Can you help?"
The psychologist advises the cat to come back in one day, as he is very busy.
The next day, the cat comes very, very, very early for his appointment and ends up at the same time as the owl.
The cat is told to wait outside.
He peeks in the owl's appointment and figures out his problem... and his address!
During the next evening, when the owl usually comes in for his appointment, the cat comes in.
The psychologist asks the cat why he is here instead of the owl.
The cat replies, "He is here!" and poops on the floor, explaining,
"I was sent to deliver him."