Sleeping Bag Jokes
57 sleeping bag jokes and hilarious sleeping bag puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sleeping bag that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Sleeping Bag Short Jokes
Short sleeping bag jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sleeping bag humour may include short backpack jokes also.
- How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs...they screw in dirty sleeping bags.
- You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It's awful. You can't even move, you're drenched in sweat and the scout master is covering your mouth.
- How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, hippies screw in sleeping bags and under tarps in the woods
- Girls are a lot like sleeping bags. I really like being inside them, and they cost about $200.
- My personal trainer was giving me advice. He said, "You have to have a life outside the gym."
I was so offended that I walked out with my sleeping bag. - I just bought a sleeping bag from a car boot sale and it's living up to its name. It's been snoring all the way home.
- As I'm dropped off at the airport my driver says "can I help you with those bags?" I said "Nah man, I just need some sleep."
- Have you ever gotten laid in a sleeping bag? It's horrible. You can't breathe, it's all sweaty, and your scoutmaster is covering your mouth.
- If a cat wrapped in a blanket is a purrito ... Is a cat in a sleeping bag an empurrada ?
- Did you hear the one about a camping couple who spent all morning in sleeping bags? It was 2 in tents
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Sleeping Bag One Liners
Which sleeping bag one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sleeping bag? I can suggest the ones about back pack and camping tent.
- I put as much effort into life... As the guy who named the sleeping bag
- What do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? A fruit roll up
- If I sleep in a sleeping bag... Is it a knapsack?
- What do you call two brown people in a sleeping bag? Twix.
- At home I have an Old Sleeping Bag Hope she doesn't wake up.
- What do you call 4 black people sleeping together in a red sleeping bag? A KitKat
- What do you call two black guys in a red sleeping bag? A KitKat
- People in sleeping bags... Are the soft tacos of the bear world.
- You know what can be intense? Sleeping bags...
- What do you call two black men in a sleeping bag? Twix.
- Why did the lady sing lullabies to her purse? She wanted a sleeping bag!
- 2 days ago, I went camping with just a sleeping bag. It was past tents.
- What are two black guys in a Golden sleeping bag? a Twix
- What do you call two Pakistanis in a sleeping bag? Twix
- What do you call a gay person in a sleeping bag? A fruit by the foot
Cheerful Sleeping Bag Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about sleeping bag you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper bag jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sleeping bag pranks.
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle.
He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard stops him and says, "What’s in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!"
The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.
He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.
The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
The next day, the same thing happens.
The guard asks, "What have you got?"
"Sand," says Juan.
The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.
He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.
This sequence of events is repeated every day for a year.
Finally, Juan doesn’t show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.
"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all I think about… I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"
Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."
A priest and a nun ...
... are on a pilgrimage when they get caught in a blizzard. They make their way to a small abandoned cabin with a bed, a stack of blankets, and a sleeping bag. Now the priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. They say their nightly prayers and tuck in for the night. The priest is nearly asleep when he is awoken by the nun, "Father, I'm cold!" The priest gets up, puts a blanket on her, checks that she's OK, and goes back to his sleeping bag.
This time he's starting to nod off when he's again awoken by the nun, "Father, I'm still cold!" So once again the priest gets up, places another blanket on the nun, and heads back to his sleeping bag. But when he's almost asleep this time she calls again, "Father, Father, I'm sooo cold!" The priest thinks on this situation and after a moment he responds. "Sister, we are in the middle of nowhere in a storm. No one but ourselves and the Lord God almighty will know what happens here this night. What would you say if, just for this night, we act as though we were married?" The nun thinks on this for a while and finally responds with an excited, "Yes Father, I'd like that!" To which the priest responds,
...
...
"GET UP AND GET YOUR OWN d**... BLANKET YA HARPY!"
Non-Racist black joke
What do you call four black men in a red sleeping bag?
A Kit-Kat.
Polish Moose Hunt
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
Polish Hunters
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.
The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both...and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."
Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded. However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
A sleeping bag
Is just a kill zone for poisonous snakes
Camping Tips....
Q: what should you do with your sleeping bag the morning?
A: wake her up and tell her to make some breakfast.
What did the Ethiopian Government say when the United States sent over 1 million condoms to promote safe s**...?
Thanks for the sleeping bags
What's the definition of innocence?
A nun working in a c**... factory thinking she's making sleeping bags for mice.
An undertaker comes home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?"asks his wife."I had a terrible day," replies the undertaker. "I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When i got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge e**... .Anyway, I find the room and sure enough, there's this big n**... guy lying on the bed with this huge e**....So I did what I always do; I grabbed it with both hands and tried to snap it in half." "I see,"says his wife."But how did you get the black eye? "The undertaker replies,"Wrong room."
s**... in a sleeping bag is horrible
It's really cramped, sweaty, too warm and then to top it all off you have the scout masters grubby hand over your mouth
I was out camping one night just laying down in my sleeping bag and looking up at the stars wondering....
Where the h**... is my tent?
Bob, an undertaker, recently came home with a black eye.
"What happened to you?" asked his wife.
"I had a terrible day" replied Bob.
"I had to go to a hotel and pick up a man who had died in his sleep. When I got there, the manager said they couldn't get him into a body bag because he had this huge e**...."
"Anyway, I went up and, sure enough, there was this big n**... guy laying on the bed with this huge e**.... So I grabbed it with both hands and tried to bend it in half."
"I see," said his wife, "that must have been awful, but how did you get the black eye?" Bob replied, "Wrong room..."
A group of charity workers are sent to africa to see how their program is working.
They are walking down a street and see a crocodile with mans head in its mouth. When they get home and are asked about how their trip went one of them says "we can cut all funding, they got Lacoste sleeping bags"
Sherlock Holmes and Watson went camping.
As they lay down in their sleeping bags, Sherlock calls out to Watson and says 'The stars are quite visible this evening. What do you think that means?'
Watson replies, 'Well, I think it means that there's a whole universe out there that remains unexplored and filled with mysteries and worlds we could never think of!'
'No you d**...,' Sherlock says, 'it means someone stole our tents.'
Halloween candy
Halloween was over. All the trick or treaters came and went. Some got candies. Some got confused when we said "trick" and sprayed them with water.
A couple of hours later while we were taking the candy bag inside, a 12 year old came dressed in all red.
Naturally, I told him that Halloween was over and we all wanted to go to sleep now.
Instead, he turned to my girlfriend who was helping me and said. "Im your period. Sorry, I'm late."
My man got the remaining candies.