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Slam Jokes

71 slam jokes and hilarious slam puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slam that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Do you love great humor? Check out our collection of the best slam jokes sure to bring a laugh! From grand slam jokes to slam dunk puns, read on for a great mix of slam poetry based puns and more. Whether you're a winner or a looser, you won't be able to halt your laughter!

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Funniest Slam Short Jokes

Short slam jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slam humour may include short slap jokes also.

  1. I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book... She laughed at me, and said
    "Oh uncle J you're so old. Just use my phone."
    So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
  2. My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework, she's gonna slam my head on the keyboard. But I don't give a fuskhhkxkhdkhhskhd
  3. My mom said that if I don't get off the computer and do my homework she'll slam my head into the keyboard, but I think she's jokinfreoiwjr67uiwosi94ckcjfkdald87lakdofasdkfj
  4. I went by the house I grew up in and asked if I can take a look around, but they said "no" and slammed the door on me My parents can be real jerks sometimes.
  5. My wife told me she'd slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. Don't worry guys, i think she's jokinejkodoworkfjcjkskoe394oo2oc2i2fkf2uu3ug25r2u
  6. I asked my wife to go get me a phone book. She laughed at me, and said "You're so old. Just use my phone."
    So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.
  7. My girlfriend just accused me of being too childish, walked out, and slammed the door. It was pretty brave of her... ...considering the floor was lava.
  8. Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and body-slam them for maximum impact.
  9. My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
  10. A dad and his son get into a big argument one day DAD: Go to your room right now
    SON: *storms off* JIM MORRISON WASN'T EVEN A GOOD VOCALIST
    DAD: What have I told you about slamming The Doors!

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Slam One Liners

Which slam one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slam? I can suggest the ones about slab and smack.

  1. Why was the prison poetry slam cancelled? There were more cons than prose
  2. Are you my homework? Because I wanna slam you on my desk and do you all night.
  3. What is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's religion? I-SLAM!
  4. What are battles between birds called? Poultry Slam
  5. How do you kill 50 flies in one hit? Slam a Somalian child in the face with a shovel
  6. I slammed my hand in the door at the car rentals It Hertz...
  7. How does Harry Potter end an argument when leaving the room? He slams the Gryffindor.
  8. How did the lawyer chip his tooth? The ambulance slammed on its brakes.
  9. Brexit stay, slamming the door.
  10. Sometimes me and my friends get together to talk about chicks It's a poultry slam.
  11. What do you call a reptile that goes to a poetry slam? A snapping turtle.
  12. What will be on the Denny's Menu when ISIS takes over? The Grand I-slam
  13. What did the guy who slammed his face on the keyboard say? 7u8y66uy8ht 4tyggtygy
  14. The Incredible Hulk became a muslim. Now his new catchphrase is "i slam".
  15. Why do NBA players like poultry? Because they love to slam duck!

Slam Poetry Jokes

Here is a list of funny slam poetry jokes and even better slam poetry puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Apple started selling slam poetry books. Quran suddenly become popular in the west.

Slam Dunk Jokes

Here is a list of funny slam dunk jokes and even better slam dunk puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Have you heard the nickname for the Canadian that won the Slam Dunk competition? They call him Sir Up now
  • What's the difference between a Swedish jam band and slam dunking a baby? One's a Swedish Phish and the other's a fetus swish
  • What do you call it when someone makes a slam-dunk wearing shiny handcuffs? Boom-shackle-lacquer!
  • Why wasn't the brewery's new beer a slam dunk? They didn't have enough hops.
Slam joke, Why wasn't the brewery's new beer a slam dunk?

Grand Slam Jokes

Here is a list of funny grand slam jokes and even better grand slam puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Incredible Tennis statistic... Novak is the first person to lose a Grand Slam after only missing two shots.
  • Chuck Norris can hit a grand slam with no one on base.
  • What's Roger Federer's best pick-up line? 'Hey baby, wanna check out my Grand Slam?'
Slam joke, What's Roger Federer's best pick-up line?

Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Slam Jokes

What funny jokes about slam you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smash jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slam pranks.


I'd rather have a laptop than an iPad.

At least you can slam it shut when your lady walks in.

Every time I bet I push the limits.

I tell the dealer, I want to put the dried grapes on the T-bones. Then I shout raisin the steaks, as I slam down more chips!

Sigmund Freud in a slam battle:

"Yo' mamma's so neglectful, you struggle to maintain relationships with women because they view you as overly attached and clingy."

"I'm gonna treat you like I treat my homework"

"Oh, you're going to slam me on your desk and do me all night?"
"No, I'm going to stare at you and think there's so many better things I could be doing..."

my wife says she's leaving me for being to arrogant.

I said don't slam the door on your way back in.

Picking people up

Strong people don't put others down. They pick them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent..

That's a bad place for an argument. Because then I tried to walk out and slam the flap.

A son and his Dad have an intense argument and the son storms off, furious.

Before he gets out of earshot of his father, he yells "Jim Morrison was a terrible singer and an uninspired artist who never did anything worthwhile".
His father cannot believe this insolence, and screams at the top of his lungs "As long as you live in this house, you will never, EVER SLAM THE DOORS"

Castration doesn't hurt at all

you just need to make sure your thumbs aren't between the bricks when you slam them together.

I got into a fight with my father when I told him Jim Morrison wasn't talented.

He forced me to go to my room. I slammed my door behind me, and my dad said, "Don't you ever slam The Doors in my house again!"

I wish people would stop acting like Chuck Norris is a god

If he really is so good why doesn't he teleport behind me and slam my head into the keyboard then hhjfdjusodbfhzoakcblkqoscsnjqpqkc

Whats the difference between affection and adore?

You can't slam your wife's head in affection.

I'll do you like my math homework

Slam you on the table, try to do you, but give up and pay someone to finish you

I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD

Why did the user slam his satchel on the password's toes?

He wanted to know if it was case sensitive.

The air hostess has just told me if I don't put my phone away, she's going to slam my head into it.

But I'm pretty sure she's just jokiNjdk$48('$76)?;;

At 1:58 two young girls ran out in front of my car, so I slammed on my breaks and honked my horn. On the other side of the road behind the wheel was an African activist, who had to slam on his breaks to avoid hitting a pair of young girls as well.

Desmond Tutu tooted two too, at two to two.

A guy walks into a bar

And points to the top shelf and says to the bartender Give me ten shots of your most expensive whiskey .
Bartender pours the shots and watches as the guy proceeds to slam them all.
Bartender looks at the man and says That's an awful lot of liquor to put down in such short order.
Well my friend, you would do the same if you had what I have.
What do you have?
About $5

When we got married I could pull her lips apart...

Let 'em go, they would slam shut.
17 years later I can hold 'em shut, let 'em go and they flap wide-open!

A man and his daughter get into an intense arguement.

Finally the daughter can take it anymore and storms off to her room shouting "Jim Morrison is over rated" before angrily shutting her bedroom door.
Her father equally as angry yelled back "How many times do I have to tell you? In this house we dont slam The Doors."

How many orphans does it take to paint a house?

It depends on how hard you SLAM them against the walls

Me: Girlll! Im going to treat you like I treat my homework!

Girl: And how might that be?
Me: I'm going to slam you on the desk and do you all night long

I slammed my hand on my keyboard as hard as possible.

A bunch or letters showed up but not a single sound was made.
I guess I'm just the strong silent type.

My dyslexic support group held a slam poetry competition

Doug got first with a great piece about racial tensions in America.
Anna got second with a touching monologue about women's rights.
I got third by smashing an urn.

So I was having s**... with this woman...

I had her bent over her kitchen table, giving it to her good. When all of a sudden we heard a car door slam out front.
Oh god, she said, it's my husband. Quick, use the back door!
Well, I probably should have left at that point, but it's not an offer you get everyday...

Apparently, I spend too much time on reddit

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

Are you my homework?

Because I want to slam you down on my desk. Try to do you for 5 minutes, give up, cry, and have my dad do you for me.

Two steaks walk into a bar, and slam the door behind them

Bartender say, you think you're tough? The bigger steak says, you just described me perfectly. Well done

My wife told me...

My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

My mum said that if I don't get off Reddit now, she'll slam my head into the keyboard.

She wohdjdbwjqoksmdhdjdjdnksskpwldlk

I slammed €1,000 down on the bookies counter demanding to put it all on A2Z at 26/1

It was a real alpha bet.
(I don't care if it's terrible, I made myself laugh with it)

I love this time of year, the lead up to Christmas

When your partner walks into the room you can slam your laptop shut and you don't get any disgusted looks.

Slam joke, I love this time of year, the lead up to Christmas

jokes about slam