Slab Jokes
26 slab jokes and hilarious slab puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about slab that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Humor your way through these slab jokes, made of humorous puns about paving slabs, headstones, sandstone, and tile. Get ready to laugh at these irreverent and quirky takes on the typical stone-related puns.
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Funniest Slab Short Jokes
Short slab jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The slab humour may include short slam jokes also.
- A man walks into a bar with a big slab of tarmac/asphalt under his arm... The barman asks him, "So what can I get you?"
"I'll have a pint and eh, one for the road." - Why did the Astronomer bring a slab of ribs into the bathroom? He wanted to witness a meatier shower.
- What do you call a dirty puddle on a slab of cold concrete in dim, gloomy light? A sunny day in Seattle.
- What problem does the Eskimo photographer struggle with because he has a terrible habit of sitting all day on a slab of ice, waiting for his film to develop? Polaroids
- A man holding a slab of asphalt walked into a bar He said "I'll take two beers, one for me and one for the road"
- A slab of butter kept asking me questions but once I answered all of them I considered him to be... clarified butter.
- My uncle was finally arrested for smashing people over the head with paving slabs. He tried to get away with it... But there was concrete evidence.
- She was only a fishmonger's daughter .. .. but she'd slap it on a slab and shout "Fillet!"
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Slab One Liners
Which slab one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with slab? I can suggest the ones about slug and slurs.
- My dad burnt this beautiful slab of meat last night... He made a terrible missteak.
- What did the depressed slab of meat say when put into brine? WowThanksImCured
- "Why was the slab of marble upset?" "He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite."
- Did you hear about the guy who wanted to be buried in a concrete slab? He was dead set
- she was only a fishmongers daughter... but she could lay it on the slab and say fillet.
- I believe when you die you become a slab of meat... I call it rein-carne-tion.
Fun-Filled Slab Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about slab you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean slim jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make slab pranks.
3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp
One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!
"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!
"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.
And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of him!
"I wish for a meat shower!" The second dinosaur said.
And so the genie made all different sorts of meats from different animals rain from a small cloud above the dinosaur's head.
Not wanting to be outdone by his friends the third dinosaur quickly tries to think of something better.
"I wish for a meatier shower!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Best lines when dealing with telemarketers
Some of the better ones
* City Morgue, you stab 'em, we slab 'em
* Mario's Pizzaria and Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, may I take your order?
* Roadkill Cafe, you kill it, we grill it
* Mort's Mortuary, you slice 'em, we ice 'em
* Bob's Back Alley Abortion Parlour, you r**... 'em, we scrape 'em, no fetus can beat us
Anyone have more?
Three slabs of concrete walk into a bar
They sit down, order drinks and start bragging about how strong they are. As they're doing this a small bit of green tarmac walks in and they hide under the table as it orders its drink.
When it leaves they all get up and the barman asks them
"What's up with you guys? I thought all of you were tough."
"Oh, we're tough," they said, "but he's a cycle path."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a slab of meat and someone who hates high school students?
One's protein, the other's anti-teen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A magnet walks into an elemental singles bar and tries a pickup line on a pretty slab of metal.
"Is your name *Beryllium*? 'Cause you can alka-***lie*** next to *my* earth metal!"
The slab of ***lead*** says "Nah. You don't *attract* me."
Ba dum TSS!
And another....
Two men were bartering over a marble slab.
A lot of counter-offers were made.
Once my friends bakery burned down…His business is toast.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A construction worker walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.
He says to the bartender, "Give me a beer, please, and one for the road."
***
I'm^so^sorry
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you catch a Polar Bear?
First, cut a circular hole in a large slab of ice. Next, place peas about 5 inches apart around the edge of the hole. Now, when a polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole.
