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Skydiving Jokes

90 skydiving jokes and hilarious skydiving puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skydiving that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a way to get your adrenaline pumping? Then skydiving jokes are for you! These hilarious jokes will have you laughing all the way to the ground.

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Funniest Skydiving Short Jokes

Short skydiving jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skydiving humour may include short bungee jumping jokes also.

  1. I'm taking my wife for skydiving. So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.
  2. Have you heard about that new fad of skydiving without a parachute? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
  3. If you're ever skydiving and your parachute fails to open don't panic You will have the rest of your life to try and fix it
  4. How does a blind skydiver know when he's getting close to the ground? The leash goes slack.
  5. How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground? He felt the slack in his dog's leash.
  6. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to skydive twice.
  7. I went skydiving today. The guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane, and as we began to fall he yelled in my ear "So how long you been an instructor?
  8. If you love skydiving, don't wear a parachute on your next jump Then you can skydive for the rest of your life!
  9. I was a big fan of Extreme Vetting Then I found out it isn't a show about skydiving into the desert to perform dog surgery.
  10. What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

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Skydiving One Liners

Which skydiving one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skydiving? I can suggest the ones about skydiver and parachute jump.

  1. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving... You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  2. How does the blind skydiver know he's about to land? The dog leash slackens.
    (Cr
  3. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need it if you want to skydive twice.
  4. If at first you don't succeed.. Then that's it for skydiving.
  5. if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is *probably* not the sport for you
  6. A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
  7. Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving? He landed on a plane.
  8. Why don't blind people like to skydive? It scares their dog
  9. When's the best time to go skydiving? Fall.
  10. A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.
  11. How a blind skydiver knows he's going to land? Guide dogs leash gets loose
  12. What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground!
  13. Why can't the blind go skydiving? Because it scares their dogs too much.
  14. Skydiving without a parachute Is a once in a lifetime experience!
  15. Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the dog too much!

Skydiving joke, Why don't blind people go skydiving?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about skydiving can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of skydiving puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Delightful Fun Skydiving Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about skydiving you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean bungee jump jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make skydiving prank.

My skydiving instructor would always take the time to answer any of our s**.

.. first-timer questions.
o**... asked, "If our c**... doesn't open, and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have until we hit the ground?"
Our jump master looked at him and in perfect deadpan and answered, "The rest of your life."

A skydiver jumps from a plane

but nothing happens when he pulls his rip-cord. He pulls the cord on his secondary c**..., but this too is broken. As he is hurdling toward the earth, he sees a man coming straight up toward him. 'Hey!' shouts the skydiver. 'Know anything about parachutes?!' 'No!' shouts the man. 'Know anything about gas barbecues?!'

Paraprosdokians

*A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but they also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a form of syllepsis.*
Where there's a will ... I want to be in it.
I like going to the park and watching the children run around ... because they don't know I'm using blanks. (Emo Philips)
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.
You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing ... after they have tried everything else. (Winston Churchill)
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify:' ... I put 'DOCTOR'.
If I am reading this graph correctly ... I'd be very surprised. (Stephen Colbert)
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. (Will Rogers)
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. (Groucho Marx)
You're never too old to learn ...something s**....

A skydiver jumps out of a plane...

He is flying through the air and is having a lot of fun.
Then he pulls the chord ... but nothing happens! The parachute wont open!
panicing he pulls the safety chord ... nothing happens again!
He is falling ever so fast, when suddenly a guy comes flying up from beneath him!
The skydiver yells "hey! Do you repair parachutes!?"
The guy yells back! "Nope, gas ovens..."
(english is not my first language, excuse my spelling please)

Why didn't the cow want to go skydiving?

...the steaks were too high.

I knew someone who died in a skydiving accident.

Their f**... wreath was in the shape of a parachute.
After all, that's what they would've wanted.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

What's the hardest thing about skydiving?

The ground.

What got the apple into skydiving?

Pear pressure.

I convinced my girlfriend to get over her fear of skydiving...

Her f**... is on Tuesday.

I once skydived off a crane.

Poor little fellow, I must have damaged his wings.

Did you guys know you don't need a parachute to skydive?

You just need a parachute to skydive twice.

My wife's skydiving experience ended horrifically.

The parachute worked.

What's the difference between a Golf player and skydiver?

One goes:
*Whack*, "Darn!"
While the other goes:
"Darn!", *Whack*
PS: Not sure if this was posted before, but i think it's still funny.

My skydiving instructor was really dense.

He left quite an impression.

My friend decided to skydive without a parachute

I didn't hear from him after that, but someone told me he had a once in a lifetime experience.

A blonde and her husband are watching the news...

News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn't open.
The blonde bursts into tears
Husband (comforting her): I know it's sad, but people need to know that there's a risk while skydiving.
Blonde: But that's a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?

My friend decided to go Indoor Skydiving dressed as Peter Pan

I told him "You'll neverland!"

"What are the chances of me dying?" I asked my skydiving instructor, moments before jumping.

"Very high," he said. "My wife just left me."

What's skydiving like?

It's descent

You do not need a parashoot to go skydiving.

You need a parashoot to go skydiving twice.

I wasn't cut out for skydiving school

So I dropped out

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving

Although you need a parachute to go skydiving for a second time.

If you're skydiving and your parachute doesn't open...

Don't panic, you've got the rest of your life to open it.

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving.

Unless you want to go skydiving twice.

A man jumps off a plane.

His friend says, "you need a parachute to go skydiving." The man says, "no, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

What do you call

Skydiving when the parachute doesn't work?
Jumping to a conclusion..

I was skydiving and my parachute malfunctioned.

Luckily, I had the rest of my life to fix it.

How can a blind skydiver tell when he's about to hit the ground?

The leash goes slack.

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes *whack* "Darn" And a skydiver goes "darn" *whack*

What's the difference between a paintball player and a skydiver?

A paint baller goes *SPLAT* Dang!
A skydiver goes Dang! *SPLAT*

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?

A bad golfer goes whack, dang. A bad skydiver goes dang, whack.

Why don't blind people go skydiving?

It scares the s**... out of their dogs.

Blind person goes skydiving. How do they know when they'll hit the ground ?

There's less tension in the dog's leash.

Why do sumo wrestlers avoid skydiving?

Because a fat man falling to Japan is a bad idea

I thought it was romantic to secretly swap my girlfriend's backpack for a bag of roses.

Her skydiving instructor didn't.

If at first you don't succed...

Maybe skydiving wasn't the best of ideas

I was recently invited to try skydiving without a parachute.

It sounds like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

If at first you dont succeed.....

skydiving is not made for you.

Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!
Confused, he says, Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.

After a few minutes, the woman, still sobbing, asks, How many is a Brazilian?

If at first you don't succeed..

your skydiving days are over.

Did you know that you don't actually need a parachute to skydive?

But you do though, if you want to skydive \*again\*.

Questions

At the skydiving training course, the instructor would take time to answer some of the First Timer Questions.o**... asked: If our c**... doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground? The instructor looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: The rest of your life.

A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.

"Just count to five and pull on the main c**...," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve c**...."
"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main c**.... Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve c**.... Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."

A woman put on some clothes and walked out to her garden and saw a man in her tree.

"What on earth is going on here?" she asked.
The man replied, "I'm every so sorry, madam. An awfully embarrassing incident has happened here. I'm a skydiving instructor, the landing didn't go as I'd expected."
The woman frowned, and said, "But there's no parachute...and why are you holding binoculars?"
"How else do you expect me to find my parachute?" he asked.

What do you call 100 lawyers skydiving?

s**....

A skydiver is unable to open their c**... and sees a guy passing them in the opposite direction holding a matchstick.

Skydiver says, "do you know anything about parachutes?"
Guy replies, "do you know anything about gas cookers?"

Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air

The next day, he demanded a refund.

Chuck Norris once went skydiving without a parachute...

The place where he collided with the earth is now known as the Marriana's trench.

A man went skydiving...

A man went skydiving for the first time.
The pilot went to find the man's wife. I've got some bad news, some good news, some even worse news and some better news.
Oh, my gosh...what happened?
Your husband fell out of the plane. The good news is that he had a parachute on. The worse news is that the parachute didn't open.
The wife had nearly fainted from shock.
The better news is that we hadn't taken off yet.

Skydiving joke, A man went skydiving...

jokes about skydiving

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these skydiving jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.