Skydiver Jokes

35 skydiver jokes and hilarious skydiver puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skydiver that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Skydiver Short Jokes

Short skydiver jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skydiver humour may include short skydiving jokes also.

  1. I'm taking my wife for skydiving. So if you see a solar eclipse today, don't be surprised.
  2. Have you heard about that new fad of skydiving without a parachute? It's a once in a lifetime opportunity.
  3. If you're ever skydiving and your parachute fails to open don't panic You will have the rest of your life to try and fix it
  4. How does a blind skydiver know when he's getting close to the ground? The leash goes slack.
  5. How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground? He felt the slack in his dog's leash.
  6. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute if you want to skydive twice.
  7. I went skydiving today. The guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane, and as we began to fall he yelled in my ear "So how long you been an instructor?
  8. If you love skydiving, don't wear a parachute on your next jump Then you can skydive for the rest of your life!
  9. I was a big fan of Extreme Vetting Then I found out it isn't a show about skydiving into the desert to perform dog surgery.
  10. What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver? The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa

Share These Skydiver Jokes With Friends

Skydiver One Liners

Which skydiver one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skydiver? I can suggest the ones about parachute jump and bungee jump.

  1. You don't need a parachute to go skydiving... You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
  2. How does the blind skydiver know he's about to land? The dog leash slackens.
  3. You don't need a parachute to skydive. You need it if you want to skydive twice.
  4. If at first you don't succeed.. Then that's it for skydiving.
  5. if at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is *probably* not the sport for you
  6. A man died in a tragic skydiving accident. Some say he left an impact on the world.
  7. Did you hear about the Flat Earther who went skydiving? He landed on a plane.
  8. Why don't blind people like to skydive? It scares their dog
  9. When's the best time to go skydiving? Fall.
  10. A child with cancer goes skydiving for his bucket list He's now at terminal velocity.
  11. How a blind skydiver knows he's going to land? Guide dogs leash gets loose
  12. What's the hardest part of skydiving? The ground!
  13. Why can't the blind go skydiving? Because it scares their dogs too much.
  14. Skydiving without a parachute Is a once in a lifetime experience!
  15. Why don't blind people go skydiving? It scares the dog too much!

Skydiver joke, Why don't blind people go skydiving?

Gather Around for Heartwarming Skydiver Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about skydiver you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parachute jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skydiver pranks.

Why don't blind people go skydiving?

It scares the s**... out of their dogs.

A blonde and her husband are watching the news...

News: A Brazilian man died while skydiving when his parachute didn't open.
The blonde bursts into tears
Husband (comforting her): I know it's sad, but people need to know that there's a risk while skydiving.
Blonde: But that's a lot of people. How many is a Brazilian?

Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

A woman is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident.

The woman starts crying to her husband, sobbing That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!
Confused, he says, Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved.

After a few minutes, the woman, still sobbing, asks, How many is a Brazilian?

A man went skydiving for the first time. "It's easy," said the instructor.

"Just count to five and pull on the main c**...," the instructor continued. "If that doesn't open, count to ten and pull on the reserve c**...."
"Super easy," he concluded. "Then you'll float slowly to the ground, and our bus will be there to drive you back to the airport."
The man jumped out the plane, and pulled on the main c**.... Nothing happened. He pulled on the reserve c**.... Nothing happened.
He looked down at the ground which was approaching fast, and said: "I bet that bus won't be there to pick me up either."

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.

A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.

A man went skydiving...

A man went skydiving for the first time.
The pilot went to find the man's wife. I've got some bad news, some good news, some even worse news and some better news.
Oh, my gosh...what happened?
Your husband fell out of the plane. The good news is that he had a parachute on. The worse news is that the parachute didn't open.
The wife had nearly fainted from shock.
The better news is that we hadn't taken off yet.


At the skydiving training course, the instructor would take time to answer some of the First Timer Questions.o**... asked: If our c**... doesn't open.....and the reserve doesn't open, how long do we have till we hit the ground? The instructor looked at him and in perfect deadpan answered: The rest of your life.

Skydiver joke, Questions