Sky Jokes
128 sky jokes and hilarious sky puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sky that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover the best sky jokes from the blue sky above you and the night sky above your head. From Tata Sky to heavenward and skyward, find the funniest jokes about the sky overhead.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Sky Short Jokes
Short sky jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sky humour may include short overhead jokes also.
- Did you hear what NASA's new slogan will be once their budget is cut? "NASA: The Sky's The Limit"
- Why can you see the LGBT colours in the sky after it rains? Because the sun just came out.
- Scientists discovered a revolutionary material with infinite length and zero depth ... but then they realized No Man's Sky was invented already.
- What's at the centre of No Man's Sky universe? A refund.
credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post) - My landlord told me that he would like to have a chat with me soon... about the house's sky high heating bills this winter.
I told him: "Sure thing, whenever you want. My door is always open". - "I looked up into the sky and matched each star with a reason why I love you." "That's so sweet."
"Not particularly. It was daytime." - When I was a kid, I wanted to be an astronaut. But my dad crushed those dreams years ago... He'd always say "For you, son, the sky's the limit!"
- NASA confirmed that, in the end of the afternoon of day 21, the skies are going to be very dark. It's a phenomenon called "Night".
- One of my dad's favorites about flying "You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."
- Two blondes were walking in a park ...when one of them said: "Look, a dead bird!" The other one looked up in the sky and asked "where?"
Share These Sky Jokes With Friends
Sky One Liners
Which sky one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sky? I can suggest the ones about blue sky and night sky.
- I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid, but my mom told me the sky is the limit.
- If at first you don't suceed... sky diving isn't for you.
- There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky
- Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?
- What's white and falls from the sky? Depressed Businessmen
- When does money fall from the sky? When there is a change in weather
Forgive me - Why is the sky blue? No one bothers to ask how it's feeling.
- Yo mama so fat… Biden just shot her out of the sky
- What's the brightest star in the night sky? Sirius replies only.
- Lucy, In the Sky, With Diamonds John Lennon, proving he was a terrible Clue player
- What's an alcoholic's favourite thing about the night sky? The moonshine
- Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow in the sky She missed
- If the moon landing was real… Then how come I still see it in the sky?
- When the moon hits your eye/like an eel in the sky That's a moray
- When do monkeys fall from the sky? During Ape-ril showers!
Night Sky Jokes
Here is a list of funny night sky jokes and even better night sky puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the winter solstice want to become a singer? It always wanted to hit those high notes in the night sky!
- Red sky at night: sailor's delight Blue sky at night: day
- My friend told me the north star wasn't the brightest in the night sky. I told him that's a Sirius accusation!
- I posted a question about the brightest star in the night sky, but all I got were joke replies. Should've added the [Sirius] tag.
- A guy I met told me he identifies as the brightest star in the night sky… I said- Are you Sirius?
- Red sky at night: shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night: day
- Doctor, doctor, I keep suffering from halucinations that I'm the brightest star in the night sky. Surely, you can't be Sirius.
- I stayed up all last night wondering where the sun had gone from the sky Then it dawned on me
- I pointed to the night sky and said, "Look, it's a mo!" "A mo?" asked my friend. "What's a mo?"
I said, "A half-moon." - Red sky at night shepherd's delight. Red sky in the morning... Your barn's on fire.
Blue Sky Jokes
Here is a list of funny blue sky jokes and even better blue sky puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A son and a dad are talking Son: Why is the sky blue?
Dad: The same reason your eyes are blue.
Son: So the sky slept with the postman? - So I adopted a 5 year old child from China And she said to me: "Why is the sky blue?"
- Actual quote from a kid visiting from China Q: Do you like it hear in America?
K: Yes.
Q: Why?
K: Because the sky here is blue. - Why is the sky blue? Son: Dad..Why is the sky blue?
Dad: Because if it was green, we wouldn't know where to stop mowing the lawn. - My son asks me "Why is it raining? Is the sky sad?" and I reply, "Yes son, the sky is pretty blue."
- After hours of working on every syllable of this masterpiece, I bring you a haiku I've titled "Truth in hindsight" The sky is blue
The grass is green
Jetfuel can't melt steel beams - Tom Parry on Folk Wisdom Red sky at night, shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night, day.
- Why was Cloud trying to cheer up Sky? He looked a little blue
- What do you call a blue sky at night? Day
- Roses are red, blue is the sky........... Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?
Raining Sky Jokes
Here is a list of funny raining sky jokes and even better raining sky puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There are japanese car parts falling from the sky here It's raining datsun cogs
- I had plans to go to the beach today, but the skies are cloudy and it is raining It's really irrigating.
- What's White & Gooey and Rains Down From the Sky? The coming of the Lord.
- My Jewish friend and I live in California where there were a lot of wildfires recently, and suddenly ashes started raining from the sky. He said, "oh look, a family reunion!"
- Old couple walking around the park... - Honey, tell me how much do you love me. \- Do you see all those clouds in the sky?
\- While yes, of course.
\- Let's go home, cuz it's going to rain. - Pennies and quarters rain from the sky It's climate change
- What do parliament and Ukrainian skies have in common? They're both raining bodies
- Why did the sky rain blood? Mother nature was on her period.
Fell Sky Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell sky jokes and even better fell sky puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo mama's so fat When she backed up her pictures to iCloud, the entire sky fell.
Comedy Sky Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about sky you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sky pranks.
I love "technically true" jokes, like:
If everybody in the world held hands around the equator, most of them would drown.
Or
Did you know that after all these years, the swimming pool on Titanic is still filled with water?
Or
There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky.
What else you got? (It doesn't *have* to be water-related...)
The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, Surely, it's not going to rain today?
And she replied, Yes it is, and don't call me Shirley.
That was when I realized I'd left my phone on Airplane mode.
A Jewish grandmother is walking on the beach with her grandson...
Suddenly, a rogue wave comes in and sweeps the grandson out to sea. Distraught, the grandmother looks to the sky and says, "Oh god, i have always been true and faithful to you. Please bring my grandson back." And with that, another wave comes in and deposits the grandson safely on the shore. The grandmother once again looks to the sky and says, "He had a hat."
Sensei, I've been training for years, and I'm not getting any stronger. What's going on?
Have you seen the flock of cranes fly over the old mountain at sunrise?
Yes.
Have you seen the great lightning storms crack the sky before making way for a rainbow?
Yes.
Have you seen the fabled tiger as it hunts prey in the forest, quicker than the eye can see?
Yes, Sensei.
That's the problem. You keep watching s**... s**... instead of practicing!
If heaven is above and h**... is below,
why are we burying the dead and not launching them into the sky?
A man was dumping toxic waste into a river.
Suddenly, the sky darkened, lightning flashed, and a glowing woman appeared, hovering above the river.
**"For your crimes, I curse you to only speak in words related to water!",** she intoned, and then vanished in another flash of lightning.
The man stood, shocked, before gathering his wits and muttering, "Well dam".
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving.
A dwarf escaped from prison so he could fulfill his dream to go skydiving. (Skydiving is when you jump out of a plane way up in the sky with a parachute to slow your fall) .... Sorry if that was a little con descending.
So, Jesus and Satan are sitting on a park bench one day
...just chilling, and Satan asks, "Hey JC, what's it called when little chunks of ice fall from the sky? It's not like I get to see it very often."
Jesus says, "Hail, Satan."
And Satan's all like, "YEEEEEAH, BOI!"
And Jesus is all like, "Oh, you."
A priest and a police officer walk into a bar.
A priest and a police officer walk into a bar. They each spend some time drinking, before both leaving.
The priest goes to his car, and the officer sees he is having difficulty to walk.
As he goes to enter, the officer stops him. He says "are you in a fit state to drive, reverend?"
He replied "yes, I have only had water."
The officer says "that's a lie, I can smell wine on your breath"
The priest looks to the sky and says "You did it again, lord!"
A man was doing some DIY work on his gas stove
When it all of a sudden blew up and sent him flying through his roof and up into the sky.
On his way up he passed a man falling down from the sky and asked him: Hey, you know anything about gas stoves?
The guy falling responded, Nope, you know anything about parachutes?
A man is looking for a parking space
Everywhere he looks, it seems as if every single space has been taken. Though never much of a church goer, the man looks up to the sky and says, "God, if you give me a parking space, I promise I'll stop sinning and go to church." Suddenly, a parking space opens up right in front of him.
"Never mind. I found one."
There was a Jewish businessman
There was a Jewish businessman who was almost late at an important business meeting where punctuality was highly priced. But there were no empty parking spots around and the time was running. He looked to the sky and prayed: "Dear God, give me a parking spot now and I will donate 100 thousand to the synagogue!" Suddenly, a car left exactly in front of him. Relieved, the guy looked again at the sky and said: "It's okay, forget it, I got one."
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated.
Their lovers happened to be at the f**... home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes.
The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky."
The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake."
The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a p**... of chili, so he can tear my a**... up just one more time."
What's the difference between water falling from the sky and hamburgers falling from the sky?
One of them is a meatier shower.
I'm walking down the street when out of nowhere a shellfish falls out of the sky
and hits me in the head. Dazed, I pick up the mollusk and say "Where did you come from, little guy?" The shell creases open slightly and I hear it say "A tornado picked me and threw me. You better get somewhere safe, it's headed this way!" I look around and see mostly blue skies, except for a few clouds. That's when I realized:
It was the clam before the storm.
A dead bird
A blonde was walking with her father, when her father said "look! It's a dead bird! That's so sad!"
The blonde then quickly looked up in the sky and said "Where?"
a joke that i saw in a youtube video a few years back
Two markets were flying in the the sky, when suddenly Market 1 stops and says "Wait a minute, markets don't fly", to which Market 2 responds "Oh, right" before falling down to the ground. Upon landing Market 2 looks up and sees Market 1 still up above, so he shouts "Why are you still flying? Markets don't fly!", so Market 1 shouts back to Market 2 "Ah, you see my friend, i am a Supermarket!"
Raising my fist to the sky, I roared, "It's not how many times you fall down, it's how many times you get back up!"
"Sir, that's not how field sobriety tests work." the cop replied.
Thor
The god of thunder is riding through the sky on his mighty stallion. With lightning crashing all around, he triumphantly screams, "I'M THOR!" His horse looks up and says, "Of courthe you are, you forgot your thaddle thilly!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. As they lay down for the night, Holmes said: Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"
Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars."
Holmes: "And what does that tell you?"
Watson: "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Theologically, it tells me that God is great and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorogically, it tells me that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes: "Somebody stole our tent."
A bad math joke I came up with
A little boy sees something way up in the sky and runs to his mom to ask her what it is. She points the boy to his father and tells him to ask him so the boy runs over to his father and asks what is in the sky. The father can't answer either but points the boy to his uncle saying he should be able to help. The boy runs over to his uncle but his uncle doesn't have an answer either and just points the boy back to his mother, the boy then knows what is in the sky.
[Because it takes 3 points to define a plane](/spoiler)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip.
After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Watson awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Holmes, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Holmes replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Sherlock says
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Watson?"
Watson was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Holmes, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!
Three T-Rexes are walking when one of them brushes against a shiny stone.
A genie appears and grants them one wish each.
The first says
"Make a huge hunk of meat fall from the sky in front of me."
The genie clicks his finger and it happens. The first T-Rex begins eating happily.
Thinking of the possibilities the second T-Rex yells
"Make a shower of meat all over the place."
Again the genie clicks his finger and it begins showering small chunks of meat which the second T-Rex begins snatching up.
The third T-Rex, not satisfied, roars
"Make the same as the last one, but make it a MEATIER SHOWER!"
Sherlock and Watson go camping
Sherlock and Dr. Watson go camping. They pitch their tent and go to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes wakes Watson and says: "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replies, "I see millions and millions of stars." Holmes asks, "And what do you deduce from that?" "Well, if there are millions of stars," Watson says, "there must be some with planets, and some of those planets must be like Earth. And if there are planets like Earth, there might be planets with life." And Holmes says, "Watson, you idiot, it means someone stole our tent."
A Shlep on the Beach
A woman is at the beach with her grandson when a huge wave suddenly washes the boy out to sea. Grief-stricken, she falls on her knees, looks up to the sky and implores: "Oh God, return my grandson to me and I'll give all my money to the synagogue and devote my life to prayer and good works!"
Suddenly, the clouds part, the sky clears and another wave washes the boy back on the beach, completely unharmed. Once again the woman looks up to the heavens and cries out:
"He had a hat!"
A father with three daughters
is sitting down for dinner when the first of his daughters asks, "dad why is my name Daisy?". The father replies, "because when you were born a daisy petal from the sky and landed on your head."
The second daughter asks, "dad why is my name Rose?" The father replies, "Well Rose, when you were a baby a rose petal fell from on high and landed on your head."
The third daughter asks, "bllaaarrarararraraaarg" and the father replies, "shut up, cinder-block"
Sherlock and Watson take a vacation
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute.
"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."
"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."
"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."
"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."
"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!"
A man and his wife are arguing, the man says it's going to rain, the woman says it isn't.
"Let's ask Rudolph, the communist police officer"says the man
"It might, the sky is pretty cloudy" says the policeman
The man turns to his wife and says:
"See, Rudolph the red knows rain, dear"
All my life, my parents have told me not to open the basement door, but I got curious and disobeyed them.
What is that glowing ball in the sky and why does it hurt my eyes?
You're lost in the middle of the woods at night, alone. The sky is cloudy, there are no trails, no map, no cell phone and no GPS. No sign of a city in any direction. How do you get back to civilization?
You tell an old joke out loud, wait a couple of minutes and follow any of the angry redditors shouting "repost!" back to civilization.
I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.
I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.
It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.
If you're ever lost in the woods, just look up at the sky for the North Star.
Its twinkling will comfort you as you die.
A blonde and a brunette
are walking down the street when the brunette says, Aww… look a dead bird.
The blonde looks up at the sky and says, Where? …
Two drunk people are walking down a road.
The first one says, "What a beautiful night...look at that bright, full moon." The second man stops and looks at his drunk friends. "You fool, that's the sun, not the moon", he mumbles. Soon, they start arguing.
As they are arguing, they pass by another drunk man. They both stop his ask him, "Can you tell us wether that thing up in the sky is the sun or the moon?"
The drunk man looks up, and then looks back and says, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
A woman and her husband were arguing over the current precipitation...
The woman insisted it was drizzling outside while her husband said that really, it was just misting.
They decided that the argument would be settled by asking their elderly former soviet neighbor Rudolf.
Rudolf grimaced at the sky for a moment and held up a hand to catch some of the falling moisture. "It is drizzle," he declared.
The husband, a little put out by losing the argument, complained. "And why are we accepting our neighbors judgement?"
"Because," the wife replied, "Rudolf the red knows rain, dear."
Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than-
-crashed submarines in the sky.
I was stargazing in the early hours when...
...The sky started to get brighter and brighter. I couldn't understand what was happening. Then it dawned on me.
A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.
He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and t**... into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."
Bad eye sight (Possibly a repost but I didn't want to keep scrolling past page 30276 to confirm)
Patient: doctor i think my eye sight is deteriorating. I cant see very far
Doctor: really? come over to the window. Now what is that big round yellow thing in the sky?
Patient: well that's the sun
Doctor: yep! so how much further do you want to see
Sometimes I lay awake In bed and stare up at the sky then think
Where the h**... did my roof go?
A man was being chased in the woods by a lion who was going to eat him...
He ran his hardest, but the lion was advancing quickly. Just as it looked like the end for him, he decided on a last ditch effort. Being Catholic, he looked to the sky, dropped to his knees, and desperately prayed. "Lord!" he exclaimed. "Make this lion a Christian!" Instantly the lion pressed his paws together and prayed "For this meal in which I am about to partake..."
I inherited a magic device that floats in the sky and weaves magic carpets.
You might say it's a family air loom.
My dad is the meanest person in the world
On Christmas Eve, he fired his air gun in to the sky, and came back inside to tell me that Santa has committed s**....
Tell a person there's a million stars in the sky and he'll believe you.
But tell a person that the bench is freshly painted and he'll touch it just to make sure.
A man was walking down the street...
...when suddenly he stopped and looked up at the sky. Curious, another man stopped next to him and also looked up at the sky. Soon more people came along and all of them looked up at the sky. Finally, a little kid approached and said, What are you all looking at?
The first man replied, I don't know about all of them. I just have a nosebleed.
Yesterday my wife pointed at the sky and said "Don't you think that looks exactly like Wonder Woman's plane"
But I didn't see it.
Did you hear about the guy who vomited while sky diving?
It's all over town.
Two kids are sitting outside, looking at the night sky
Suddenly one asks "Which is closer? The moon or florida?"
The other kid responds " The moon."
The first kid asks "How do you know?"
To which the other kid replies "Because you can't see Florida from here"
Cast the first stone...
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
What do you call vehicles falling from the sky?
Van Halen
A blonde was lying in the grass...
One afternoon, a college student is walking across the Green and sees a pretty blonde lying in the grass staring up at the clear blue sky.
"Getting a tan?" he asks.
"No! Do you think that just because I'm blonde I'm focussing on my looks? I'm actually a very good student and right now I'm getting a head start on my homework!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. What class is it for?"
"Astronomy!"
What font is sky writing in?
Aerial
I feel like the world really missed an opportunity by calling people that study the sky astronomers
They should've called them skyentists.
What's yellow and up in the sky?
An Asian that stepped on a land mine.
Everyone is talking about how good this Mayweather is.
I couldn't agree more; it's 75 and not a cloud in the sky.
A priest and an atheist are playing golf.
The priest is okay, but the atheist is s**.... He keeps missing his shots. Every time he misses a shot, he says 'Damn, missed!' The priest got more and more agitated at the use of the word 'damn', and eventually snapped. He said, 'Do not use that word or God himself will strike you down!' There's an immediate ruble from the sky, and a bolt of lighting shoots down and vaporizes the priest into ash. A booming voice rings out across the golf course, striking fear into the golfers, and says:
'Damn, missed!'
English Class
A teacher was at the front of her 1st Grade English class. She points out a girl at the front of the class. She asks "Suzie, can you use 'Definitely' in a sentence, please?". Suzie says - "The sky is definitely blue". The teacher replies "The sky can be grey or black, but good try". Johnny at the back of the class raises his hand. "Miss, do farts have lumps?" The teacher was completely baffled replied "No Johnny, why?"
"Then I definitely pooped my pants"
Have you heard of the blind girl that went sky diving?
She had a great time but her dog didn't
