Skull Jokes

39 skull jokes and hilarious skull puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skull that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Discover humorous skull-related jokes with sugar skulls and Red Skulls, as well as the baddies of the neckromancer and the wound! Bone-tickling fun for everyone!

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Funniest Skull Short Jokes

Short skull jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skull humour may include short skeleton bone jokes also.

  1. Steal everyone's eyelids and no one bats an eye Remove their brains from their skulls and everyone loses their mind.
  2. As a child I was always taught there is a brain in my skull. Now I can't get it out of my head.
  3. My first wife died from eating poison mushrooms; my second wife died of a fractured skull... She wouldn't eat her mushrooms.
  4. My first wife died... after eating a poisoned mushroom!
    My second wife died of a poisoned mushroom!
    My third wife died of a crushed skull.
    She wouldn't eat the mushroom!
  5. I was just notified that I have been nominated as the craziest man alive. The message was beamed directly into my skull.
  6. I went to medical school with an incredibly ambitious guy who was obsessed with collecting skulls. He'd do anything to get a head.
  7. A pirate comes across a skull just sitting there randomly in the sand crying. The pirate asks "Why are you crying?" The skull replies through its tears " I'm all alone, I have nobody!"
  8. [SPOILER] Infinity War Why is Red Skull happy to see the mad titan on Vormir?
    Cos he is missing Thanos on his face.
  9. They say comedy equals tragedy plus time, but who has time for that? That's the whole joke... sorry... Have a haiku?
    Life is but a joke
    Behind everybody's face
    Skulls smile agreement
  10. What do you call a kid with a misshapen skull, a cleft palate, a deformed arm, and a limp? Names. You call him names.

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Skull One Liners

Which skull one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skull? I can suggest the ones about forehead and skeleton.

  1. Death must be great I've never seen a skull frowning.
  2. Whats the difference between a skeleton with a bullet hole in its skull and Putin Time.
  3. Skull shaped ice cubes are pretty cool Well, for a few minutes at least.
  4. Whats the hardest part when getting rid of a girlfriend? Her skull.
  5. Sticks and stones may break my bones And 20 Indian skulls apparently.
  6. Heard the place kong skull island was burnt down. It was the veit cong
  7. Why did the skull win 1st place in the race? Because he ran ahead.
  8. Why was her skull? Shhhhhhh.....
  9. In how many parts does the skull divide? It depends on the strength you use to hit it.
  10. Get your own Cool Skull!
  11. Saw Jesus's skull in a jar. He really was a head of his time.
  12. What's thicker than an essay's skull? Their fake leather wallet...
  13. What is The Mountain's favorite exercise? Skull crushers.
  14. what is something that should never be opened without permission? the skull of a monkey
  15. Why Do Some Bikers Not Wear Helmets? Because they have thick skulls.

Skull joke, Why Do Some Bikers Not Wear Helmets?

Comical Skull Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about skull you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bone jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skull pranks.

Two men talking…….

Man 1: You know, I've been married twice and both my wife's died. The first one died from eating poisonous mushrooms. The second one died from blunt force trauma to the skull.
Man 2: Jesus, and how did that happen?
Man 1: She wouldn't eat her mushrooms

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar...

An English tourist in a Cairo bazaar was offered a large skull by a street-trader. "Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra, effendi," said the Egyptian, "only one hundred English pounds."
"No, thank you," said the Englishman. "It's far too expensive."
"How 'bout dis one, effendi?" said the street-trader, producing a small skull.
"Whose skull is that?"
"Dis de skull of great Queen Cleopatra when she was little girl!"

A man worked at construction site...

...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.
His wife, furious, comes to hospital.
"What happened?!"
"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."
"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"
"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."

A man was telling friends how first-aid classes had prepared him for an emergency.

I saw a woman hit by a car, he said. She had a broken arm, a twisted knee and a skull fracture.
How horrible! What did you do?
Thanks to my first-aid training I knew just how to handle it. I sat on the curb and put my head between my knees to keep from fainting.

An English tourist in a Cairo marketplace was offered a large skull by a street trader

"This is the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra for only One hundred English pound." said the trader.
The tourist says, "No thank you, it's far too expensive."
Then the trader produces a small skull and says, "How about this one?"
The tourist asks, "Whose skull is that?"
The trader replies, "Tis the skull of Great Queen Cleopatra when she was a little girl!"

A guy regains consciousness in hospital with a golf clup imbedded in his skull.

The doctor acked him if he can remember what happened.
"Well, I remember I was playing golf with my wife. She sliced her tee shot into the cow paddock next to the fairway. We looked for her ball for a while but couldn't find it. On the off-chance, I lifted a cows' tail, and sure enough there was a ball lodged there. I turned and said to my wife, 'honey, this looks like yours', next thing I know I'm in here..."

Two zombies are eating Donald Trump

The first one cracks open the skull, turns to the other and says:
"Well ain't this some b**..."

Skull joke, Saw Jesus's skull in a jar.