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Skips Jokes

35 skips jokes and hilarious skips puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skips that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Having trouble coming up with your own jokes? Then let Skips tell you a few! Learn about his cousin, Pebble, and their shared love for jokes that are full of silly interruptions. Get ready to laugh with Chong and Skips!

Funniest Skips Short Jokes

Short skips jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skips humour may include short skipping jokes also.

  1. I just watched Wonder Woman 1984 and I had zero idea what was going on. Guess I shouldn't have skipped the other 1,983 movies.
  2. Skipping School Grandpa: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"
    Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!"
  3. How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I skipped the intro.
  4. Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9. They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft uno.
  5. What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track
  6. So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?
    You skip them both.
  7. My sister told me this one What is the similarity between girls and rocks?
    The flat ones get skipped.
  8. Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot chili Peppers CD? To get to the Otherside.
  9. What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth? You shall not pass!
  10. My town's population has remained constant over the last 30 years. Whenever a girl gets pregnant, a guy skips town.

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Skips One Liners

Which skips one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skips? I can suggest the ones about skipped and jumps.

  1. What do you call batman when he skips church? Christian Bale
  2. If you're outdoors you can skip this post It's just an inside joke
  3. Why did lebron james skip college? He didn't want to show up for finals.
  4. Why do uber drivers skip the gym? Because they don't even lyft.
  5. Batman told me he was skipping church this week. Classic Christian Bale
  6. Why did we skip windows 9? Because 7 8 9
    I'm so sorry
  7. Why are girls like rocks? You skip the flat ones.
  8. My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said "nah, I think I'll pass."
  9. Saw an amputee in the gym today.. Couldn't help but wonder if he skips on leg day.
  10. I once had to skip class because I had hypothermia. I was too cool for school.
  11. Whaddaya call a guy with no arms or legs trying to water ski? Skip.
  12. Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
  13. Did you hear about the new Disney FastPass? Skip the lines, go straight to the ICU
  14. What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
  15. If you skip church on Sundays.. You're pulling a Christian Bale.

Skips joke, If you skip church on Sundays..

Silly Skips Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about skips you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skipping work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skips pranks.

A shrinking man rushes to the doctor's office.

The shrinking man skips ahead of everyone waiting and pleas "Doctor! Doctor! I need help, I'm shrinking!"
Then the doctor replies, "well then you'll just have to be a little patient."

A man had 3 daughters.

A man had 3 daughters.
The first daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
"Because a rose petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The first daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The second daughter walks up to her dad and says "Daddy, why is my name Tulip?"
"Because a Tulip petal fell on you when you were a baby." Replied the father. The second daughter smiles and skips off to play with her dolls.
The third daughter walks up to her dad and says "Hhhhhnnngngngnggggddddddrrrrruhuuhuhhuhhuhdadgh!"
"...Go to your room cinderblock." Replied the father.

A girl is on a date at the town fair with a good looking guy.

He asks what do you want to do first. She replies "Get weighed". He says OK and they proceed to go to the scale. When they're done, he says "What do you want to do next?" She says "Get weighed". Once again she hops on the scale. Getting frustrated, the guy says one more time "What do you want to do next?" She replied "Get weighed" again. At this, the guy skips the rest of the fair and drops the girl off at her house. Her mom comes out and says "How was your date?" The girl replies "Wousy".

What's it called when Batman skips church?

Christian Bale.

I saw someone in the gym who skips leg day every week.

Probably why he's in that wheelchair.

A lot of guys struggle to add muscle

Take my cousin, for example. He has a very strict diet and always sticks to his regimen. He never skips a day. The dude is still a skeleton, basically. Some people just struggle to add weight. Granted, his regimen mostly includes h**..., but still.

So a man buys a watch...

So a man buys a watch. It is a very good watch, for a very low price. However, the store clerk tells him that the watch skips a minute at 5:30 (So it goes from 5:29 - 5:31 in one minute).
Later that day, his son asks him if he can hang out with his friends at 5:30. The dad says: "Not on my watch."

Yo mama's so fat…

When she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

What do people say when Batman skips Church?

Christian Bale

How does Rudy Giuliani count to 10?

He doesn't; he skips 1-8 and says 9-11 ten times.

Kids have the lowest standards

Everything is about b**... their friends moms even though their mamas are so fat that when she skips a meal, the stock market crashes

What Matthew Mcconaughey movie skips from breakfast to dinner?

Failure to lunch.

Skips or Quavers?

I prefer Skips to Quavers.
You can't dump a body in a Quaver.

My memory is warped and skips often

You could call it phonographic

Rose walks up to her father

"Father," she asks. Why did you name me rose?
"Well when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
Delighted, she scampers off into the next room. His second daughter comes running into the room.
"Daddy daddy! Why did you name me Lily?"
"Well when you were born a lily petal fell on your head."
Joyfully, Lily skips out into the next room. His third daughter bolts into the room.
"Hurrrrrnauuufffff."
"**SHUT UP CINDERBLOCK!**"

What do you call batman if he skips out on sunday mass?

Christian Bale

What's one part of the workout Cardi B never skips?

Cardi O
These is running shoes.

Skips joke, What's one part of the workout Cardi B never skips?