Skipping School Jokes
37 skipping school jokes and hilarious skipping school puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skipping school that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Skipping School Short Jokes
Short skipping school jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skipping school humour may include short skipping work jokes also.
- Skipping School Grandpa: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"
Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!" - Grandfather to his grandson: "Quick! Hide! Your teacher is coming here because you skipped school today." Grandson: "No! YOU hide. I told her you died today!"
- I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
- I used to fall asleep in class nearly every day in school until I got to college. Then, I just skipped.
- First day of high school and I skipped breakfast. They're really preparing me for college.
- I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
- I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."
- What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller's Day Off
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Skipping School One Liners
Which skipping school one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skipping school? I can suggest the ones about skipping and failing school.
- I once had to skip class because I had hypothermia. I was too cool for school.
- What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth? You shall not pass!
- one possitive thing about skipping school in america not getting shot
- Chuck Norris skipped school two days in a row... Those days are now Saturday and Sunday.
- People who skip school aren't even cool. They just have no class.
- Why did 0 skip school? He would never amount to anything!
- If you're able to skip school because you're sick, that's an ill-gotten gain.
- What do you call a metal ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller
Skipping School Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about skipping school you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skipped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skipping school pranks.
A blonde girl called Jenny came skipping home after school.
"Mommy mommy! Today in school, everyone else only counted to 5, but I counted to 10!"
The mom replies, "That's great honey!"
Jenny then asks, "Is it because I'm blonde?"
"Yes sweetie" says the mom.
The next day, Jenny comes home skipping and calling out "Mommy mommy! Today after gym class, everyone was taking a shower and had flat chests! While I had these!"
Jenny lifts her tank top to reveal a pair of 36C's. "Is it because I'm blonde?"
Embarrassed, the mom replies, "No honey, it's because you're 24"
Little Johnny skipped school one day...
and since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnny's parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home. When he saw the teacher coming he said "Johnny! Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you aren't here. "No," Little Johnny replied "you go hide. I told the teacher that I went to your f**...."
Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.
The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.
Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?"
The son of a t**.......
A teenage son of a t**... was busted by his dad for skipping school.
"Farhad, why did you not attend school today?"
"Well," the boy said, "all my friends skipped school--"
"Ach! Farhad, must you always do what your friends do? I suppose if your friends wanted to live long, prosperous lives of peace and tranquility, you'd do that too, right?"
Mr. Johnson was playing in his frontyard with his fav grandson Toby when he saw Toby's teacher approaching
Mr. Johnson : "Toby go hide now, boy. It's your teacher. Aren't you skipping school?"
Toby : "Oh no! You go hide grandpa! Quick! Now!"
Mr. Johnson "Why should I? You're the one skipping school here!"
Toby : "That's the problem, grandpa. I told Mr. Anderson you died this morning. That's why i'm skipping school"
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
The things kids say....
I work in a middle school and I was talking to a 6th grader today. He was bummed because he's so short:
He says: I should go back to kindergarten with kids my own size.
Me: Well maybe you should try 1st grade because you already know the alphabet, right?
He didn't skip a beat and responded: I'm so American, the only letters I know are U, S and A!
It was hilarious.!! Thank you children for making us laugh.
A man brought home a lie detector.
He told his family: "This robot will slap anyone that tells a lie."
During dinner,
Dad: "How was school, son?"
Son: "It was nice, we had to write an essay."
The robot slapped the son.
Son: "Ok, I skipped school to go to a friend's house."
The robot slapped the son again.
Son: "Fine! I went to a w**...!"
The robot did not do anything, but the dad was shocked.
Dad: "How could you? When I was your age I didn't even know what was a w**...!"
The robot slapped the dad.
The mum, who was angry at first, couldn't help but laugh and said, "Well, he is your son after all!"
Then the robot slapped the mum.
The Kindergartener
A girl came skipping home from school one day. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, it's because you're blonde, her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. Very good, said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy? No, it's because you're 25.
Bing Crosby
A long time ago, back in the autumn of 1952, when Bing Crosby was
filming the movie "White Christmas" in New Hampshire, the Mayor of
Nashua, NH thought it would be a great idea to have Bing visit their
fair town & present him with the key to the city on the steps of City
Hall. You know, a nice little photo op for the mayor's re-election &
a
way for some of the town's dignitaries to meet the Great Bing Crosby.
Now one as to remember, Bing Crosby at this time was at the peak of his singing career. He was bigger than Elvis, the Beatles, Sinatra, Lady GaGa & the Beach Boys all put together. He crossed generational lines, admired by young & old as one of the "coolest cats" in the music world.
Well, word leaked out that Bing would be in town so hundreds of
teenagers skipped school to attend the little ceremony. The
authorities were not prepared for such a large crowd, there were only a few policemen present, and things soon got out of hand. Pushing &
shoving began as the teenagers all wanted to get closer to see their hero. It soon looked like the Mayor was going to a have a riot on his hands and he was growing more frantic by the minute. All he wanted was a nice little ceremony with Bing and now he had a full fledged uprising threatening to ruin everything.
Throughout all this Bing was seated in his chair, calmly observing
what was happening. When the crowd started to push through the barricades that were set up, he had had enough. Bing got up, strolled to the microphone & said in a commanding voice, "All right, everyone cool down right now"! The rioting crowd immediately calmed down and the Mayor's little ceremony went on without a hitch & everyone went home happy.
The next day's newspaper headline read: CROSBY STILLS NASHUA YOUNG!!
Blonde schoolgirl
Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mommy.
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!"
"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
The next day Jenny came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"
"No Honey, it's because you're 24
blondes
A girl came skipping home from school one day. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde? the girl said. Yes, it's because you're blonde, said the mommy. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G! Very good, said her mother. Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy? Yes, it's because you're blonde. The next day the girl came skipping home from school. Mommy, Mommy, she yelled, we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these! And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. Very good, said her embarrassed mother. Is it because I'm blonde, mommy? No Honey, it's because you're 24.
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."