Skipped Jokes
55 skipped jokes and hilarious skipped puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skipped that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Skipped Short Jokes
Short skipped jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skipped humour may include short skipping jokes also.
- I just watched Wonder Woman 1984 and I had zero idea what was going on. Guess I shouldn't have skipped the other 1,983 movies.
- Skipping School Grandpa: "Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!"
Boy: "No you go hide. I told her you were dead!" - How many pornstars does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know... I skipped the intro.
- Don't complain about Microsoft skipping Windows 9. They've never been able to count. They came out with Microsoft DOS without ever releasing Microsoft uno.
- What did the man do after listening to a Pink Floyd album for two hours? Skip to the next track
- So a 70ish year old grandpa randomly walked up to me in the gym and laid this one on me: What's the similarity between a flat chested woman and a stone?
You skip them both. - My sister told me this one What is the similarity between girls and rocks?
The flat ones get skipped. - Why did the chicken skip a track on his Red Hot chili Peppers CD? To get to the Otherside.
- What happens if you skip school in Middle-Earth? You shall not pass!
- My town's population has remained constant over the last 30 years. Whenever a girl gets pregnant, a guy skips town.
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Skipped One Liners
Which skipped one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skipped? I can suggest the ones about skips and jumped.
- What do you call batman when he skips church? Christian Bale
- If you're outdoors you can skip this post It's just an inside joke
- Why did lebron james skip college? He didn't want to show up for finals.
- Why do uber drivers skip the gym? Because they don't even lyft.
- Batman told me he was skipping church this week. Classic Christian Bale
- Why did we skip windows 9? Because 7 8 9
I'm so sorry - Why are girls like rocks? You skip the flat ones.
- My friend asked me if I wanted to skip class. I said "nah, I think I'll pass."
- Saw an amputee in the gym today.. Couldn't help but wonder if he skips on leg day.
- I once had to skip class because I had hypothermia. I was too cool for school.
- Whaddaya call a guy with no arms or legs trying to water ski? Skip.
- Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
- Did you hear about the new Disney FastPass? Skip the lines, go straight to the ICU
- What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
- If you skip church on Sundays.. You're pulling a Christian Bale.
Fun-Filled Skipped Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about skipped you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skipping work jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skipped pranks.
I was going to participate in a competition to see how many times I could throw a rock on the water...
But I skipped it.
I skipped my meeting of "Erectile Dysfunction Anonymous"
No one else came either.
I watched all of Dragon Ball Z in half an hour.
Because I skipped all the parts with screaming.
Honda made a car called the CRX before. Now they make one called the CRZ.
They skipped the one in the middle because the prototype was so bad, it made them CRY.
Little Johnny skipped school one day...
and since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnny's parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home. When he saw the teacher coming he said "Johnny! Your teacher is coming, hide and I will say you aren't here. "No," Little Johnny replied "you go hide. I told the teacher that I went to your f**...."
My wife told me I should go to the gym with her to get in shape, but I suggested I just start with skipping.
So far I've skipped the gym three times this week and I feel great.
I come from a family of triple jumpers...
But with me I think it skipped a generation
The son of a t**.......
A teenage son of a t**... was busted by his dad for skipping school.
"Farhad, why did you not attend school today?"
"Well," the boy said, "all my friends skipped school--"
"Ach! Farhad, must you always do what your friends do? I suppose if your friends wanted to live long, prosperous lives of peace and tranquility, you'd do that too, right?"
funny
My uncle was a racist piano player, all his work sounded awful because he skipped all the black keys.
A bartender walks into a church, a brothel and the zoo...
Trying to find the freaks that skipped out on their bar tabs.
What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.
A blonde was asked why her list skipped every other number... She replied
I can't even
Sherlock and Watson are filling in their college application.
Watson: Sherlock? Why have you skipped writing this essay?
Sherlock: It's supplementary my dear Watson
I skipped 9 puns and killed the last one...
That's a pun in ten dead.
Did you hear the one about the wig salesman who skipped town?
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
I brought one of those records that helps you learn spanish while you sleep,
during the night the needle skipped and the next day i could only stutter in spanish.
-Steven Wright (i think)
You know why the iPhone X is the biggest leap forward ever?
Because they skipped 9.
I didn't have a problem with the Destiny 2 story.
Because I skipped most of it.
Grandfather to his grandson: "Quick! Hide! Your teacher is coming here because you skipped school today."
Grandson: "No! YOU hide. I told her you died today!"
I skipped philosophy class to go see a p**....
Descartes shouldn't be in front of the w**....
I skipped working out today so I could be a pallbearer..
at least I got my deadlifts in today.
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend...
....who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having s**.... Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
"Your case is quite complicated."
Patient: Why doctor? What happened?
Doc: You have a disease from the chapter I skipped during my studies.
I'll bet you $139762384 dollars
That you didn't even read that number. You just skipped right over it. You didn't even realize I put a letter in it. No, I didn't but you went back and looked.
People don't even pay attention
I bet you $13456324567 dollars you didn't read that number. You just skipped right over it. You didn't even realize I put a letter in it. No I didn't but you went back and looked.
Have a good day!!
I can't remember what I majored in at college.
I skipped classes to some degree.
Rocks are like women.
The flat ones get skipped.
I found it kinda funny
You wanna know why women and rocks are similar?
The flat ones get skipped.
Girls are like rocks
The flat ones are skipped
A mathematician stared at a number line
It started at one and then skipped every second number. He thought to himself "This is odd."
It looks like we skipped 2021
And went straight to 2020-2
Why are americans bad at geography?
Because the ones that skipped class survived
Naming the COVID-19 variants, the WHO skipped the greek letter 'xi'.
They did that in order to not insult the leader of West taiwan.
This is 40
Questioning her career choices, a 40-year old health care worker who treated pregnant women bough a bright red convertible and skipped town. She was having a midwife crisis.
Chuck Norris skipped school two days in a row...
Those days are now Saturday and Sunday.
