Skinny Guy Jokes
25 skinny guy jokes and hilarious skinny guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skinny guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Skinny Guy Short Jokes
Short skinny guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skinny guy humour may include short skinny girl jokes also.
- I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once.
- As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.
- A fat guy meets a skinny guy... The fat one says: "You look like there's been a famine."
The skinny one replies: "You look like you caused it". - These guys at the pub said my wife looked like Cruella de Vil. So I walked over to them and said, "How dare you compare that skinny, intimidating witch with Cruella de Vil."
- A black guy, and a somewhat skinny white guy walk into a Subway. Thats the end of the joke.
- A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping... When a c**... floated to the surface
"okay guys, who f**...?
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Skinny Guy One Liners
Which skinny guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skinny guy? I can suggest the ones about skinny and tall guy.
- What do you call two tall skinny guys looking out a window? Curt n' Rod
- To the guy who stole my really tight skinny jeans... You won't be able to run, just hide.
- What did the hairy guy say to the skinny 11 year-old? ##Yer a wizard, Harry.
- Did you hear about that skinny asian guy that won poker?
- Why do black guys have skinny legs? Because they're chicken legs.
- Why are guys who wear skinny jeans bad at s**...? They can't get them off
Great Skinny Guy Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about skinny guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fat guy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skinny guy pranks.
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
A bodybuilder sees a group of beautiful women flocking around a skinny guy at the gym one day...
The bodybuilder is baffled. He asks his friend: "What the h**... do they see in that wimp?"
"I hear he can bench press a hundred pounds," says the friend.
"A hundred pounds?!?" The bodybuilder snorts. "h**..., I can bench press over three hundred and fifty!!"
The friend raises an eyebrow. "With your tongue?"
There was a skinny bus conductor and a buff guy...
Whenever the buff guy traveled the bus and conductor came to him for the ticket, buff guy says I don't buy tickets.
The conductor always meekly went away.
One day the conductor got tired of this and joined the gym.
After some time he too got buff.
Next day when the buff guy refused to buy the ticket, conductor (now also buff, but let's still refer to him as conductor) asks him with a commanding voice, 'Why?'
Buff guy says 'I have a bus pass that's why'.
eeny, meeny, kanye, flo
you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?
A cannibal father and son
A cannibal father & son
A cannibal father and son were out looking for food in a local park.
A obese guy comes by and the son ask dad should we eat him, father answers no my son, he have to much fat, we'll get to tired for days .
A little while later a skinny man comes by and the son ask what about him dad, should we eat him the father answers no my son, he is nothing but skin and bone, we'll have to hunt again to soon
After a while a gorgeous woman comes by, the son asks what about her dad, she look delicious, she look edible and the father answers no my son, we take her home and eat your mom instead
Lemon drops
So a man walks into a bar and sees a big tough guy standing next to a glass and some lemons.
"What's with the lemons?" he asks.
"Its a challenge." replied the bartender. "This here is the strongest man in the world. He will squeeze as much juice from half a lemon into the glass as he can, and if you can squeeze out even one more drop, you win free drinks for the rest of the year."
The man watched several other strong looking men try the challenge, and all of them lost miserably.
"I accept" replied the man.
The bartender snorted a bit seeing as the man weighed little over 120 pounds and had very little muscle mass.
The strong man squeezed almost a third of a glass of juice from the lemon and when he was done, handed the lemon to the scrawny man.
He took the lemon and sized it up in his hand, and squeezed almost 5 drops from it.
The strong man reeled and replied "Wow! You are stronger than you look! I went easy on you."
"Fine. " said the skinny man, "Try again if you would like."
So the strong man then spent a food 3 minutes squeezing the lemon more than he had for any of the other men.
Once he was convinced even he could not summon even another drop from the lemon, he handed it to the skinny man.
The man then proceeded to squeeze another 3 drops from the lemon.
"Amazing!" cried the bartender. "I guess you can have free drinks for a year! What is your secret though? How did you do it?"
"I'm an IRS agent" the man replied.
Fast thinking old man
The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.
At once, they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."
The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim n**..., or to make you get out of the pond n**...."
Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Moral: Old men can still think fast!