Skinned Jokes

41 skinned jokes and hilarious skinned puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skinned that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Skinned Short Jokes

Short skinned jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skinned humour may include short skins jokes also.

  1. My ex girlfriend was a beautiful woman... ... olive skin, green eyes, snakes for hair.
    But I had to break it off with her because she was constantly objectifying me.
  2. What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit? Oranges have thick skin.
    Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one!
  3. A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef. The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
  4. What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it? Au-burn
  5. I took my grandma to one of those fish spa's where the fish eat your dead skin Sooooo much cheaper than burying her in the cemetery.
  6. I told my wife, "You are so skinny." Then I grabbed her by the love handle and said, "Just look at all this skin."
  7. What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama? One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!
  8. There's a greek myth about a stream whose water will attach itself to your skin for all eternity. The river sticks
  9. My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.
  10. My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.

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Skinned One Liners

Which skinned one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skinned? I can suggest the ones about peeling skin and bad skin.

  1. What's the hardest part of making a vegan pizza? Skinning the vegan.
  2. What's the leading cause of dry skin ...towel
  3. Why do cops have really clear skin? They're great at popping black heads.
  4. I just slipped on a banana skin. I look ridiculous in it.
  5. How do you circumcise a whale? Send down four skin-divers
  6. What is the most common use for pig skins? To keep the pig in one piece.
  7. Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them, they die.
  8. What part of Popeye has the smoothest skin? The part he dips in olive Oyl.
  9. My skin is so oily that I'm afraid that one day America may invade it!
  10. I have never understood why living in the poor part of town... ...makes your skin darker.
  11. Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
  12. Why do MMA fighters wear skin tight shorts? Cause otherwise, they'd be boxers!!!
  13. To that cow that escaped while i was skinning it alive You can run but you can't hide
  14. What does Charles Darwin use to moisturise his skin? Evo-lotion.
  15. Doctors don't want you to know the real #1 cause of dry skin: Towels

Dark Skinned Jokes

Here is a list of funny dark skinned jokes and even better dark skinned puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dark I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45. 
    It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
  • Why are there so few dark skinned students at Hogwarts? Because most of them were expelled for using Black magic.
  • How does a dark-skinned boy have light-skinned hands? ...because paint!
    -my four-year-old daughter.
  • A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef The butcher starts insulting her and spreads rumors around
  • I like dark mode on everything Except for my skin
  • A dark-skinned human and a red-skinned human walk into a bar... It ends with the city guards being acquitted.
  • Why aren't there many good, white people jokes? Because when they start getting dark, most of them get skin cancer and die.
  • There's a mexican and a dark skin guy, Whos driving? The cop

Light Skinned Jokes

Here is a list of funny light skinned jokes and even better light skinned puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Happy Birthday to Thomas Jefferson! The founding father of light-skinned black people.
  • Why do Afghan people have light brown skin? Because Afghan is tan
  • What do you call a light skinned Mexican? Border white
Skinned joke, What do you call a light skinned Mexican?

Darker Skinned Jokes

Here is a list of funny darker skinned jokes and even better darker skinned puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Fair Vs Unfair If someone is fair skinned does it imply if they are darker it's unfair?
  • New cardboard AIDS test if your skin is darker than a piece of cardboard you probably have AIDS.
  • A boy asks his mom: "Why is my skin so much darker than yours and Dad's?" ... she says: "That was a pretty wild o**..., be glad you don't bark"
Skinned joke, A boy asks his mom: "Why is my skin so much darker than yours and Dad's?"

Amusing & Witty Skinned Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun

What funny jokes about skinned you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stripped jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skinned pranks.

I was just on Trip Advisor and it was a complete waste of time!

There's absolutely *no* information about twisted ankles or skinned knees!

Chuck Norris has a bear skinned rug…

The bear's not dead, it's just afraid to move.

A new discovery is made pertaining to the ethnicity of Ancient Egyptian Kings

Archaeologists have discovered that the kings of Ancient Egypt were in fact black. Upon unwrapping the gold sarcophagus they found the body of a dark chocolate skinned man. The legendary Pharaoh Rocher.

Have you heard of the new republican themed c**... that is taking off?

It's extremely thin skinned and very sensitive

Sherlock and Watson were walking through an orchard...

As they walk Watson keeps asking Sherlock to identify the trees they are seeing. After some time they approach a clearing and in the centre is a lone tree.
Watson asks "Sherlock what is that tree with yellow skinned fruit?"
Sherlock smiles and replies "That's a lemon tree, my dear Watson"

I like my woman like how I like my bears

Skinned and hanging from the mantlepiece.

I like my women like I like my potatoes...

Skinned and boiled.

What did the uncircumcised man say during confession?

Forgive me father fore I have skinned

Skinned joke, A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef