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Skidding Jokes

51 skidding jokes and hilarious skidding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skidding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Skidding Jokes

Short skidding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skidding humour may include short jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog
  2. Whats the difference between a dead dog on the side of the road, and a dead politician on the side of the road? The skid marks infront of the dog.
  3. After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
    "I think I'm going to call it a day."
  4. A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi. ...Resulting in river failure.
  5. A warehouse worker... A warehouse worker is getting ready to ship a bunch of cases of disgusting, prepackaged food, but he can't get it to fit properly on a skid.
    The food was unpalatable.
  6. What's the difference between a dead cat and a dead lawyer on the road? The dead cat has skid marks around it.
  7. This Zamboni operator skidded out of control into our Dungeons & Dragons meeting Why he be all slidin into my DMs
  8. What is the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer? Skid marks leading to the skunk!
  9. A bunch of 80s action stars dressed up as Skid Row for Halloween but they couldn't figure out who would be the lead singer. But Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"
  10. I made three snow angels the other day. I skidded on the ice and took out three pedestrians.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about skidding can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of skidding puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Skidding One Liners

Which skidding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skidding? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. There is an upside to eating Tide Pods.... It takes the skid marks out of your underwear.
  2. I made snow angels this Christmas... My car skidded on the ice and I hit 3 pedestrians.
  3. What do you call skid marks on Spider-Man underwear? The Dark Web
  4. Never let a getaway driver use your toilet. Skids everywhere.
  5. I saw a bunch of homeless people fighting in skid row It was in tents
  6. Riding a car... A man, in *curve*, skids.
  7. What does a fast car say when it has to go to the bathroom? Off to make skid marks.
  8. A f**... is the only b**... function which has its own punctuation. The skid mark.

Skidding Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about skidding you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make skidding prank.

Q: What is the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer in the middle of the road?
A: The skid marks in front of the skunk.

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.


She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked.
"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.
And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.
Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.
The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.
"Go and get help!" he cried.
"But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!"
"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."
Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station.
Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

Q:How can you tell the difference between an attorney lying dead in the road and a coyote lying dead in the road?
A:With the coyote, you usually see skid marks.

A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you t**... clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The n**... girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm n**... and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her p**..., the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

Roadkill...must have been a lawyer

Two men were walking along a road when they came across roadkill.
"I wonder what that was." said one of them.
"Looks like a lawyer to me." said the other.
"How do you know that?" said the first.
"No skid marks."

A guy is out hunting...

He sees a bear and shoots at it. He misses, and suddenly slips and falls down the mountainside. His leg is caught in a bear trap, and the bear is coming right towards him. He cries out, "Lord, I know I've done some bad things in my life, but I promise to repent now if you make this bear a Christian!" The bear skids to a halt, drops to his knees, clasps his paws together and says, "O Lord, I thank you for the food I am about to receive!"

So I was driving along a country road...

...along a farm on my way to I-79 like I do every weekday morning...
But today I come out of a curve, and saw a farmer's goat and pig right in the middle of the road, just looking at me, right before I struck the goat.
I jammed on the brakes, skid a hundred feet, and sat there in shock (not even wanting to look back in the mirror to see what I had done.)
I got out, see that the goat is dead, looked around, saw no one, and pushed the dead goat off to the side of the road. I got back in my car and started my way back to the highway.
On I-79, a trooper pulled me over, and told me that I am being given tickets and a summons to appear in court for among other things, leaving the scene of an accident.... I was like "What?!"...
The officer said, "Yep, you almost got away with it too!"
I said, "Officer, I need to ask... how did you find out this even happened? There was no one in sight."
He said, "The pig squealed".

What's the difference between running over a lawyer and running over an aardvark?

There's skid marks leading to the aardvark's dead body.

So this nun is driving along...

... when suddenly a drunk staggers out into the road in front of her. She skids to a stop, gets out, and scolds him severely, making several derogatory remarks, and angrily lecturing him on how dangerous he was being. The drunk looks at her for a minute, then punches her in the face, knocking her out cold.
Standing over her prone form, the drunk grins triumphantly, and slurs out "Yeah! Not so tough now, are you Batman?".

My boyfriend offered to do analingus if I'd trim a "landing s**......"

I told him he should be more worried about Skid Row.

In the hands of an expert..

A tourist takes a taxi in a foreign town. The taxi driver speeds through a red light. The tourist, frightened, asks
"What are you doing?"
The driver answers:
"Dont worry, I am an expert."
He speeds through more red lights, and the tourist, on the verge of hysteria, complains again, more urgently. The driver replies
"Relax, relax, you are in the hands of an expert."
Suddenly, the light turns green, the driver slams on the brakes, and the taxi skids to a halt. The tourist picks himself off the floor of the taxi and asks
"For crying out loud, why stop now that the light is finally green?"
The driver answers
"Too dangerous, could be another expert crossing."

First thought when coming across a skid mark in the toilet

Women:
"Eeww! That's horrible; I must get cleaning equipment before I can use this."
Men:
"Hmmm... Can I remove this with the contents of my bladder?"

Whats the difference between a lawyer and a raccoon?

when found dead on the side of the road, the raccoon has skid marks in from of it.

I had to change the sheets today as my wife's ABS is not working again....

Leaving skid marks

What's the difference between roadkill and a viola in the middle of the road?

There are skid marks leading up to the roadkill.

Whats the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead skunk on the highway?

Skid marks in front of the skunk.

Why do women's underpants resemble a car c**...?

Blood at the front and skid marks at the back.

A bus from the Special Olympics crashed when they skidded on a freshly paved highway.

It was because they re-tarred it.

What do Freddie Mercury and Ayrton Senna have in common?

They both died with skid marks on their helmet.

Difference between a corrupt government getting hit by a car and a deer being hit by a car?

There where skid marks leading up to the deer...

There was once a man who had 100 kids.

There was once a man who had 100 kids. He was not a creative man, so he named the kids after the number of their birth. One of his kids, 90, had a few kids when he grew older. One day, they found a dog on the road. They took him in, and named him This. This was a very good and well behaved dog. Dad, I'm going to go feed This. Hey dad, I'm taking This for a walk. One day, This went missing. The kids went out to search for him, when they saw him on the side of the road, with skid marks all over his body. Years later, the kids still remembered and missed This.
Moral of the story:
Only 90s kids will remember This.

Karl Marx

Karl Marx ia a historically famous philosopher but no one ever mentions his sister and brother: Onya, the inventor of the starting p**..., and Skid, who was generally unpopular.

Termite Food

So I work in a retail store where we routinely have shipments of freight arriving on wooden skids. A truck driver will come by every week or so, and pick up the empty skids so they can be reused.
Out of curiosity, I asked the driver if he ever worried about termites getting into his trailer. He said the brand of skids we use are chemically treated, so termites won't eat them. You can tell the difference because instead of being regular wood, they're usually painted blue.
So I said, "In other words, they can't palate pallets in that pallette?"

Rat vs lawyer

What's the difference between when a lawyer gets killed by a car and a rat that gets killed by a car?
There were no skid marks for the lawyer.

Why did the skid mark lose the election?

It ran a smear campaign
Credit - Amazon Alexa (seriously, I asked my Alexa to tell me a p**... joke and this is what she said)

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these skidding jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.