Skeptic Jokes

39 skeptic jokes and hilarious skeptic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about skeptic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Skeptic Short Jokes

Short skeptic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skeptic humour may include short pessimist jokes also.

  1. I met a woman who said she was a huge Monkees fan She told me she had collected every piece of merchandise ever made for the band. I was skeptical.
    Then I saw her place...
  2. I asked the librarian if she had any books on skepticism. She said, "No."
    I said, "Hmm, let me check."
  3. My wife says I talk while I sleep .....but I'm skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
  4. I think horoscopes are a complete and utter waste of time. But, of course, I'm a Scorpio, and we are all skeptics.
  5. My friend didn't believe me when I told her I could build a car entirely out of spaghetti. She was very skeptical, but you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
  6. I'm highly skeptical over the existence of "alcohol-free beer"... There's literally zero proof.
  7. Why are New Yorkers so skeptical about everything? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
  8. What's the difference between a skeptic and a conspiracy theorist? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
  9. Who was the skeptical man who dressed up as a woman to spy on the Wright Brothers initial flight test? Mrs. Doubtflyer
  10. How many climate change skeptics does it take to change a lightbulb? None because "It's too early to see if the lightbulb needs changing".

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Skeptic One Liners

Which skeptic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skeptic? I can suggest the ones about incredulous and agnostic.

  1. People say that I'm skeptical but I don't believe them.
  2. What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers? A skeptic tank.
  3. People say I'm a skeptic, but I'm not so sure...
  4. My friends call me a skeptic.. I'd like to see some proof of that.
  5. Apparently Pfizer is now selling a pill that treats skepticism. But I'm not buying it.
  6. This whole skepticism thing... I'm not sure I buy it.
  7. What type of holy water is the cleanest? Anti-skeptic
  8. People call me a frugal skeptic But I'm not sure I buy that
  9. 17 Signs You're an Incredulous Skeptic... you won't believe number 8!
  10. I've heard that you should always be skeptical... but I have my doubts.
  11. I'm skeptical about hiring a carpenter to make my furniture But I'm sure it woodwork
  12. Why did the skeptic do poorly in Trigonometry? He refused to see the sines.
  13. What do you call a skeptical horse? A neigh-sayer. Sorry
  14. Why are blind people so skeptical? They have to see it to believe it.
  15. What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument? No lye?

Skeptic joke, What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument?

Playful Skeptic Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about skeptic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean suspicion jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skeptic pranks.

A skeptic goes in to see a fortune teller.

"You are the father of 2 children," the fortune teller says. "That's what you think! I'm the father of 3 children!," says the man. "That's what you think," says the fortune teller.

What do you call someone who questions everything and is full of s**...?

A skeptic tank

Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?

In a skeptic tank.
(Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)

What did the skeptical marine biologist say before her first day of work?

I think I'm just gonna test the waters...

Why did the angry skeptic keep ignoring official reports about the eventual release of Half-Life 3?

He was blowing off Steam

At first, I was skeptical about replacing my florescent bulbs with newer LED ones...

But once I did, I started seeing things in new light.

Why did the skeptic man have high blood pressure?

Because he kept taking advice with a pinch of salt!

What would a skeptic say if you were to tell them that you had a supernatural ability to detect Indian bread?


Two skeptics walk into a bar..

I'd tell you what happens next but noone knows

My brother told me he had a ruminating mind

I told him he should get it checked out. Might turn skeptic.

Who was the most skeptical emperor of all time?

Marcus O RLY?'s.

pythagoras was a skeptic...

...but now he believes in angles

I met the winner of the Annual Girls' Eidetic Memory Contest ...

...Though I'm skeptic 'bout it, as when I asked for her number, she said, "I can't remember it right now."

Skeptic joke, I met the winner of the Annual Girls' Eidetic Memory Contest ...