Skeleton Jokes
160 skeleton jokes and hilarious skeleton puns to laugh out loud. Read human body jokes about skeleton that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Skeleton jokes are not just reserved for Halloween; they are an excellent source of humor all year round! Perfect for breaking the ice at a costume party, entertaining kids with a funny bone for humor, or to give your social media posts a slightly spooky and comedic twist, these jokes are the backbone of a good chuckle.
Our collection centers around the light-hearted, comedic aspect of these bony figures, ensuring your jokes are harmlessly humorous and widely enjoyed. So, brace yourselves as we dive into this hilariously 'humerus' world of skeleton jokes. After all, laughter is the key to keeping your spirits (and skeletons) lively!
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Funniest Skeleton Short Jokes
Short skeleton jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The skeleton humour may include short mummy jokes also.
- I asked a girl to rate me out of 10 the other day She said "you're an 8 on a scale of 10"
I still don't understand why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton - Doctor [looking at my x-rays] : this is exactly what I was afraid of. Me: What?
Doctor: Skeletons - I asked my wife.. I asked my wife to rate my listening skills and she said,
"You're an 8 on a scale of 10."
I still don't get why she wanted me to urinate on a skeleton.. - Most of the staff at the cemetery quit recently I heard they've had to run the place with a skeleton crew.
- How much do all the bone in the human body weigh? A Skele-Ton. Thanks, I'll see my way out.
- Request for a punchline I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter.
So here goes.
Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin? - My 82 year old Grandpa's favorite joke A skeleton walks into a bar, sits down and says
"I'll have a beer and a mop" - Two skeletons want to go to a party... One goes back to the cemetary and returns with his tombstone. The other one asks: "what's up with the stone?"
"They always want to see an ID." - With trembling hands, my doctor looked up from my x-ray and stammered, "This is exactly what I was afraid of." Gripping my chest, I rasped, "What?" Eyes wide, he whispered, "Skeletons!"
- A skeleton walks into a bar... Bartender: What'll be?
Skeleton: give me a beer and a mop.
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Skeleton One Liners
Which skeleton one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with skeleton? I can suggest the ones about zombie and hollow.
- Why are skeletons such bad liars? You can see right through them.
- Why couldn't the skeleton hurt itself? Because it didn't have the nerves.
- What room can't a skeleton enter? The living room.
- A skeleton walks down the street He sees a hearse and yells "taxi!"
- What's a skeletons 💀 favorite song lyric? I just want somebody to love! 🎶
- What did the French skeleton say before he ate? Bone apetit
- How do skeletons kiss Skeletons don't have lips, they just bone.
- How do skeletons reproduce? They bone.
- Why didn't the skeleton like to dance? Because he had no body to dance with!
- Where do you imprison a skeleton? In a rib cage.
- What do you call a cleaning skeleton? The grim sweeper
- Why are skeletons always so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
- What do skeletons invest in? Crypt-ocurrency
- What's a skeleton in a closet? A hide and seek winner.
- How do skeletons get high? Marrowana.
Skeleton Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny skeleton bar jokes and even better skeleton bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer.... and a mop.
- Why did they kick the skeleton out of the bar? He couldn't hold his liquor.
- A skeleton walks into a bar... And says "gimme a beer and a mop."
- Short Dad Joke These kind of jokes always make me laugh a little, if you don't get it at first.. think about it!
"A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop." - A skeleton walks into a bar and sees a depressed skeleton and asks what's wrong He says I've got nobody
- A skeleton walks into a bar He walks up to the bartender and orders a beer and a mop.
(Credit goes to the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie but just wanted to share)
Halloween Skeleton Jokes
Here is a list of funny halloween skeleton jokes and even better halloween skeleton puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is a skeletons favorite snack? Ribs.
My son wanted me to post this one too!
Happy Halloween! - How did the Halloween store stay open during the labor shortage? They operated with a skeleton crew.
- Why didn't the skeleton ask out the Zombie to go to the Halloween party? He didn't have the guts
- Want a costume that doesn't show too much skin this Halloween? Dress up as a skeleton.
- What do you call a naughty lamb dressed up like a skeleton for Halloween? Baaad to the bone.
- Q: Why didn't the skeleton dance at the Halloween party?
A: It had no body to dance with! - How did the skeleton greet the other skeleton Bone-jour
Happy halloween!! - What band do skeletons dance to at Halloween? Boney M
- Just remember if you can't get in the Halloween spirit this year There's a skeleton in all of us
- My skeleton took some time of for halloween Bone voyage I said
Dancing Skeleton Jokes
Here is a list of funny dancing skeleton jokes and even better dancing skeleton puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the skeleton tell the doctor in the club? I need some body to dance!
- I feel bad for skeletons when they go to prom. They have no body to dance with.
- Why the skeleton didn't dance Cause he had nobody to dance with
- Why'd the skeleton not go to the dance? He was dead
- What do you call a dance party full of skeletons? A grave.
- Why did the skeletons start dancing? Because they forgot the g in graveyard.
Skeleton Crew Jokes
Here is a list of funny skeleton crew jokes and even better skeleton crew puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew.
- Why was the captain of a ghost ship beginning to get nervous? He was running the ship on a skeleton crew.
- What do you call a team of orthopedic surgeons? A skeleton crew.
- What crew mans a haunted ship? A skeleton crew!
Skeleton Halloween Jokes
Here is a list of funny skeleton halloween jokes and even better skeleton halloween puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What kind of key opens a casket? A skeleton key.
- On Halloween, how do skeletons call their friends? With their iBone.
Witty Skeleton Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about skeleton you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fossil jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make skeleton pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."
Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I find it wild that people would use cleaning products on their skeletons.
But to bleach their bone, I guess.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Somewhere, there is a turf war going on...
...between skeletons and secret g**....
The "Age" of Dinosaurs
A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"
The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."
"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"
"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."
Three Engineers
A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a civil engineer are sitting around and talking about God.
The mechanical engineer says, "God is a mechanical engineer. Just look at the human body - a light-weight skeleton with moving parts holding up a massive frame of muscle and fat. God must be a mechanical engineer!"
The electrical engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is an electrical engineer. Just look at the human body - the nerve system routes electrical signals to the brain which is essentially a computer. God must be an electrical engineer!"
The civil engineer disagrees. "No, no. God is a civil engineer. Just look at the human body - only a civil engineer would run a toxic waste pipe through a playground."
Why wouldn't the skeleton ride any roller coasters?
He just didn't have the stomach for them.
3 Jokes about bars:
1.
A duck walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my bill."
2.
A typewriter walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Put it on my tab."
3.
A skeleton walks into a bar.
He says "Give me a beer. Uh, and a mop."
What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet?
Last year's winner of the blonde "hide and go seek" contest
Why did the skeleton leave the party?
Because everyone was calling him a bone-head.
(I was 6 when I came up with that).
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
OC, What do you call an anorexic lesbian?
A skeleton in the closet.
Sincere apologies to everyone I've just horribly offended!
Latvian Jokes
Latvian Olympian win silver medal in skeleton. Wishes silver medal was potato. Still is hungry.
A man asked a sad skeleton why he was so sad.
"I have no body to keep me company"
Why wouldn't the skeleton go diving?
He didn't have the guts for it.
What do skeletons order at restaurants?
Spare ribs.
Given infinite time, a million monkeys with a million typewriters
will eventually become a very creepy room filled with an equal count of typewriters and monkey skeletons
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tried to cash in on this kid joke thing. My daughter is a disappointment.
Why did the skeleton cross the road? He didn't because he doesn't have skin and he just fell apart.
Kid at the museum
Kid: "How old is that Tyrannosaurus skeleton?"
Guide: "70,000,006 years."
Kid: "Wow. How can you be so exact?"
Guide: "They told me it was 70,000,000 years old when I started working here."
What do you call a skeleton who just had anesthesia?
A numbskull
How many bones are there in a graveyard?
A skeleTON.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in a snowstorm without a hat?
A numbskull
Why did the skeleton never make it past 2nd base with his girlfriend?
Because he could never work out how to unclasp the vertebra
What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality?
A skeleton in the closet.
What's another name for skeletons in the closet?
Hide and seek champions.
My 9 year old daughter's joke
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.
Why didn't the skeleton like spicy food?
'Cause he didn't have the stomach for it!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the skeleton burp?
Because it didn't have the guts to f**....
skeleton walks to the counter
counter says 206
Explained: another meaning of counter is one who counts. skeleton has 206 bones.
What's a skeletons favorite fruit?
A bone-ana
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body.
What did the skeleton say before they ate their meal?
Bone appetite.
(7 year old told me this today).
What do you call a zoo of living skeletons?
Thoracic Park
Why did the skeleton show up late to prom?
He was boning someone.
I once dated a skeleton. She ended up cheating on me and then tried lying about it.
But I saw right through her.
What do you call a skeleton key?
A Spookey
What's a skeletons favourite sauce?
Grave-y
Why don't skeletons play music in church?
Because they have no organs.
Edit i got this from a movie
How much does 2,000lbs of bone weigh
a skeleton
A man and a and his wife are having breakfast
As the wife is reading the newspaper, she comes across a strange article.
It says here that they've found a 12,000 year old skeleton frozen in a glacier, and evidently it's a woman. Now how do you think they knew it was a woman?
The husband replies with:
Well it's simple.
How is it so simple?
It's mouth was still open.
What do you call a fruit with a skeleton?
Spineapple
Why did the Skeleton turned down the chance to be a surgeon??
Because it didn't have the stomach for it.
What do you call a skeleton who conquers Europe?
Napoleon Bonyparts.
What do you call a skeleton trying to sell a wall?
Ann Coulter
What's did the skeleton say to the person driving away in their car?
That's ma-ca-bre!
Why don't skeletons ever go out on the town?
They have no body to go out with.
How do the French study the skeleton?
They take your Bonaparte.
What did the puppy say to the skeleton
Cmon, throw a dog a bone
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle?
It has an X-O-skeleton.
How much do bones weigh?
About a skeleTON
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What did the skeleton say before dinner?
BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
Why it's impossible for skeletons to create a Choir
They don't have the organs.
How much does a pile of bones weigh?
It must weigh a skele-ton!
I want to tell a joke about skeletons for spooktober
But I don't have the guts to do it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Happy Halloween: Who knows how much 2000 decomposed bodies weigh?
A skeleton.
Why does a skeleton upvote every cake day post?
Cause it was his DOOT-ty
How do skeletons get COVID?
From the coffin!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you keep a skeleton from joking?
Take away his funny bone.
Why did the skeleton eat alone?
He had no body to eat with.
How much did the skeleton Weigh?
A ton. A Skeleton.
Why are skeletons bad at high-stress jobs?
Because they're easily rattled!
What is a comedic skeleton's best asset?
His humerus.
