The Best 31 Sizes Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Sizes jokes. There are some sizes visible jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sizes large puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Sizes Jokes and Puns

Good jokes are like anti vax kids

They come in many shapes and sizes, normally created by people that have less-than-average intelligence, and most importantly never gets old

Why don't Korean captains wear hats?

Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.

Two ladies smoking

Two old ladies were standing outside smoking cigarettes. It starts to rain, so one of the old ladies takes out a condom, cuts the tip off and slides it over her cig to keep it dry. The other lady is amazed at her inventiveness! She goes to the pharmacy and tells the pharmacist she needs some condoms. The pharmacist, puzzled, looks at her and says "ma'am they come in all shapes and sizes, which ones do you need?" She replies "doesn't matter, as long as it fits a Camel!"

Sizes joke, Two ladies smoking

What kinds of clothes do protons wear?

Plus sizes!

Why can't Canadians ever find the right battery sizes?

Because AAA-A.

Bras come in sizes A, B, C, etc. So what's the biggest bra?

The Zebra.


Yo' Mama is so fat, she buys clothes in three sizes: large, extra large, and "Oh my God, it's coming towards us!"

Sizes joke, YO' MAMA IS SO FAT... SIZES

I get the same thing for my birthday every year - a pair of socks and a piece of tail...

And they're both two sizes too big.

Real definition of Zebra from Blonde's perspective

What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.

What's a Zebra?

26 sizes larger than an A bra.

Did you know that shot sizes are different in different places?

In most of the US it's usually 50mL but in Detroit it's usually 9mm.

You can explore sizes quantities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sizes diameter dad jokes. There are also sizes puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Army Post

A friend of mine recently back from his time in the army told me about one night, at his military base when he woke up about 2am, went outside - and he saw doughnuts, eclairs, cakes of all sizes scattered over the yard - but not another person in sight. Then he realised...

They had desserted their post.

Q.) What would a size 60" waist be in woman sizes?


What type of tree comes in all shapes and sizes?

A geometree

What is one thing a guy should never say in Victoria's Secret?

Does this come in children's sizes?

Apple just announced a 7-inch phone

Phone sizes are getting out of hand.

Sizes joke, Apple just announced a 7-inch phone

Condoms are available in three sizes:

Small, medium, and liar.

An economist goes up to a girl he fancies at a bar.

He asks her, "I'll give you a million dollars if you will have sex at me."
The woman, taken back by the offer, sizes up the economist and agrees.
Now the economist adds, "Actually, I changed my mind. I'd rather do it with you in turn for a hundred dollars."
The woman being insulted, retorted, "What am I, some prostitute?"
"Oh, we already established that. Now we're just negotiating price. "

If I've learned one thing in my travels, it's that men come in all shapes and sizes.

But enough about my exotic fleshlight collection.

Almost all of my family has shoe sizes under 9.5"

So me being size 12" is no small feet

People who are satisfied with recommended serving sizes,...

..stay where you are. I'm calling the police.

I've always wanted a job estimating crowd sizes in sporting events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Small, round, thin,

thick crust, deep pan, extra toppings...

Redditors are like eggs

They come in many different colours and sizes, but deep down they all have the same yolks.

I like my bra sizes like I like my wrestlers

Triple H

Bra Sazes

Have u ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes but couldn't figure out what the letters stood for? Well its time you became informed!

(A) Almost boobs.
(B) Barely there.
(C) Can't Complain!
(D) Dang!
(DD) Double Dang!
(E) Enormous!
(F) Fake.
(G) Get a Reduction.
(H) Help me, I've fallen and I can't get up!!!

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes....

Large, small, circle, square, thin crust, deep dish, extra toppings....

What do you call a person who uses algebraic equations to calculate coffin sizes?

A mathemortician.

Found out why Americans are obsessed with breasts!

All their cooking recipes are in cup sizes

After gaining weight, My husband bought me a dress 2 sizes below and says...

"I look forward to seeing you in it".

So for his birthday I bought him a coffin.

I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events.

I wonder how many people are in that field.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sizes sized jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working sizes width piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes