Sixty Jokes
58 sixty jokes and hilarious sixty puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sixty that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with this hilarious collection of sixty+ jokes, ranging from sixty-nine to over sixty years old! With a minimum age of ten and a maximum age of forty, you won't want to miss out.
Funniest Sixty Short Jokes
Short sixty jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sixty humour may include short seventy jokes also.
- Girlfriend said that she slept with 61 men before. I doubt it, but she insisted that I was her sixty-second man.
- I think my girlfriend has had sixty-one boyfriends before me... She calls me her sixty second lover....
- My wife is turning 62 tomorrow. I tell her not to get too excited as she will only have one minute to enjoy it. Confused, she asked, "what do you mean?" It's your sixty second birthday.
- Son: Hey dad, can I borrow ten dollars in Bitcoin? Dad: Twenty dollars and thirteen cents? Why in God's name do you need to borrow nine dollars and sixty-seven cents?
- My wife must have had sixty-one boyfriends before she married me because she calls me her sixty-second lover.
- My dad just told us that he wants his next birthday party to be exactly a minute long. It's his sixty second birthday.
- When you turn 61, the next year feels like it's only a minute long … … because it's your sixty-second year.
- Did you hear about the circle that graduated college Apparently it got three-hundred and sixty degrees
- In the sixties, people said the government would wiretap your home. People today: Hey wiretap, can cats eat pickles?
- What did the toast say to his partner while they were doing sixty nine? Babe, I'm gonna crumb!
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Sixty One Liners
Which sixty one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sixty? I can suggest the ones about eighty and turning 60.
- A deer walks out of a gay bar... "Wow. I can't believe I just blew sixty bucks!"
- My therapist asked me how many times a day I act immature. I responded, "sixty-nine."
- What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number? Nought two sixty.
- What's LXIX? Sixty-nine the hard way
- My wife must have had a busy life before we met She says I'm her sixty second lover.
- Every sixty seconds, in Africa A minute passes. Together we can stop this.
- I know Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number. It's Zero-Two-Sixty
Cr - If there was a competition for precision... I'd come sixty seventh.
- Please help because, every sixty seconds in Africa, A minute passes.
- What do you call two skunks sixty-nining? Odor eaters.
- I cant find my Gone in Sixty Seconds DVD! It was here a minute ago...
- Why are circles so knowledgeable? Because they have three hundred and sixty degrees.
- Did you know that every sixty seconds . . . . A minute goes by in Africa
- What time is it? It's sixty nine o' clock
- What's the speed limit for s**...? Sixty-eight. At 69 you have to turn around.
Over Sixty Jokes
Here is a list of funny over sixty jokes and even better over sixty puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many bacteria does it take to change a light bulb? One.
No, two. Actually, four.
No! Eight. No, sixteen. Oh God. Thirty-two. Nope, Sixty-four. No... - Last night I watched a documentary on a man who spent sixty hours a week crushing Coke cans It was soda pressing
- What's the square root of sixty-nine? What's the square root of sixty-nine?
Eight-something! - Looking for feedback on a terribad joke I made up Last night at 7:30 I went to my uncle's sixty second birthday party...
It was over by 7:31. - Apparently, married women over sixty are "more likely to become furries". I think it's an old wive's tale
- Ten, Twenty, Thirty, fourty, fifty, sixty, sixtyten, "what?" four twenties "France, stop it" four twenties and ten. "France you're drunk"
- My dad's pants kept creeping up on him. By sixty-five he was just a pair of pants and a head.
- What's the LGBT community's favorite s**... position? Sixty-*Nouns*
- Things are not working out with my math teacher girlfriend but she is really good at s**.... I don't know whether to eighty-six her or sixty-nine her.
- Miss Piggy could never really count to sixty-nine on camera. Every time she did, she got a frog in her t**....
Sixty Nine Jokes
Here is a list of funny sixty nine jokes and even better sixty nine puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- David Guetta - Shot Me Down (p**... version) I was five and he was six...ty nine , bang bang
Comical Sixty Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about sixty you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean starts at 60 jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sixty pranks.
65,000,011 years ago
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"
He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."
"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"
"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old. And I started here fourteen years and three months ago."
An older couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband
"Just think, honey, we've been married for 60 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably n**... as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get n**... again for old time's sake?"
So they s**... off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my n**... are as hot for you today as they were 60 years ago."
"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"
A bloke walks into a bar
And there are two Nuns playing darts. He offers to do the scoring. The first Nun hits a treble twenty with her first and second darts and double twenty with her third. The man shouts out "One hundred and sixty." The second Nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the Nuns eye, killing her instantly! The bloke shouts out One Nun dead and eighty."
An 85 year old man goes to his doctor...
"Doc, I got a big problem."
"I understand you were recently remarried, is that right?"
"Yes. My new wife is 23 years old, and that's exactly the problem. She just told me she's pregnant! I haven't been a father in sixty years, and I don't know what to do."
"Hmm. Let me tell you a story that I think will help explain what's going on here: A near sighted man decides to go bear hunting. On his way out the door, he accidentally picks up his umbrella instead of his rifle. Once he gets to the woods, he is instantly attacked by a ferocious 1,200 pound bear. He picks up his umbrella and shoots it dead. Does that story make sense to you?"
"No! Somebody else must have shot that bear."
"My point exactly."
A sixty year old millionaire ran into an old friend in a jewelry store after a gap of several years and proudly introduces him to his gorgeous twenty eight year old wife.
The friend eyes her as she tries on a necklace in the tabletop mirror and whispers, "You lucky dog, how did you net someone like her?"
The millionaire leans in closer and whispers conspiratorially, "I told her that I was eighty."
Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty whole divided by sixty nine?
Man: Six thousand eight hundred and fourty five.
Interviewer: Hm... that's not the right answer...
Man: But i'm quick.
Three friends throw darts for high scores at a pub...
The first dude hits the 20 three times and calls: "SIXTY!"
The second one hits two darts in the 20 and one in the triple 20 and shouts: "ONE HUNDRED!"
When the third guy takes his turn, after throwing a 20 and a triple 20 the third dart deflects off the board and hits a nun sitting at the table next to it right at the temple. The woman immediately drops off her chair and the player goes: "ONE NUN DEAD AND EIGHTY!"
A Chinese husband and wife are having a busy night in their restaurant..
..when an old friend of the husband makes a surprise visit, the two men have a few drinks to celebrate and after a while the husband tells his wife they are going to a nearby pub, but won't be long.
The husband eventually comes home at 3am and gently awakens his wife and asks "Hey, what about a little sixty nine?"
She flies into a rage, "You go out drinking with your friend, you knew how busy the restaurant was, you leave me to do all the hard work, and now you expect me to get up and make you Mongolian Lamb with Snow Peas!?"
A man marries a Chinese restaurant waitress...
On their wedding night, she says to him -
Bride: "Dear husband, I want to give you anything you want! Just name it!"
Groom: "Ooh, that's tough to chose. OK, I really want a sixty nine."
Bride (confused): "You want beef broccoli *now*?"
My uncle has a television set in his automobile, but it led to a little trouble.
You see, he was sitting in the car, watching television, while his wife was driving on the highway at sixty miles per hour.
Then the commercial came on, and he stepped out to go to the bathroom
Motel Deal
My wife and I were travelling cross country when we stopped in a tiny town for the night. There was only one motel.
I walked into the office and asked the clerk, "How much for one night?"
He answered, "Sixty dollars."
"Sixty dollars?" I shouted. "Don't you have anything cheaper?"
"Sure," he said. "You can get a room for half price if you don't mind making your own bed."
I agreed that this was fine.
So they put us in a room with a pile of lumber and a hammer and some nails...
Whats a German r**... victim's favorite s**... Position?
Sixty NEIN
A blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store.
After putting in sixty cents, a root beer pops out of the machine. She set it on the ground, puts sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever s**... thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!"
A couple had been married for sixty years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife remarks, Just think, sixty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.
"I know, the old man replies. We were probably sitting here n**... as jaybirds sixty years ago. Well, says his wife, Let's relive some old times. Whereupon the two s**... to the buff and sit back down at the table. You know, honey, the old woman says, My n**... are as hot for you today as they were sixty years ago. I'm not surprised, he responds. One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal.
