Six Year Old Jokes
76 six year old jokes and hilarious six year old puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about six year old that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Six Year Old Short Jokes
Short six year old jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The six year old humour may include short five year old jokes also.
- Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'
- Did you hear about the guy who spent six months making a belt out of watches? He said it was a waist of time.
(as told to me last night by my 10 year old). - My six year old's current favorite joke: Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: Interrupting pirate.
Me: Interrupting pira...
Him: Arrrrrrgggh!!! - What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen!
--------
Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching. - How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? Seven. One to install the new bulb, and six to figure out where to store the old one for the next 10,000 years.
- My six year old made her own joke and is so proud What's a chicken's favorite music?
Bach Bach - I tried to convince my six year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally pee in your pants. But he's not believing it and still making fun of me.
- A fly just fell into my butter Now it's a butterfly
*My six year old just dropped this on me - I saw the expiration date was six months past. Guess I waited too long to use the 250million year old Himalayan salt.
- I could not be more proud of my six year old son. He just asked me, "Dad, why did the kid cross the playground?" "To get to the other sliiide."
Share These Six Year Old Jokes With Friends
Six Year Old One Liners
Which six year old one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with six year old? I can suggest the ones about twelve year old and 6th grade.
- My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds
- What is the funniest animal to a six-year old? peacock
- The longest I've been sober is 5 years... ...then I turned six years old
- What's the best part about bangin' twenty six year olds? You get to meet Jared Fogel.
- What is a six figure income? 9 year old Nephew:
Triangle??
No
Square?? - Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds?
A: That they are twenty… - What do you call a six-year-old with AIDS, stuck in a snowstorm? Brryan
Witty Six Year Old Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about six year old you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean young kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make six year old pranks.
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves.
“Daddy, were you in a war?”
“Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be.
Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
Two elderly people living in Trailer Estates, he was a Widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center.
The two were at the same table, across from one another as the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered
the courage to ask her, " Will you marry me?"
After about six seconds of ' careful consideration' , she answered "Yes. Yes, I will. "
The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places.
Next morning, he was troubled. "Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'?" He couldn't remember.
Try as he might, he just could not recall.
Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.
First, he explained that he didn't remember as well as he used to.
Then he reviewed the lovely evening past.
As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, "When I asked if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?"
He was delighted to hear her say, "Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart."
Then she continued, "I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me."
A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair.
"Don’t be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn’t realize that pulling hair hurts."
A short while later, there’s more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate.
This time the sister is bawling and her brother says…
"Now she knows."
My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.
Helpful Daughter
Little Susie, a six year old , complained:"Mother, I've got a stomach ache."
"That's because our stomach is empty", the mother replied. "You would feel better if you had something in it."
That afternoon her daddy came complaining that he had a severe headache all day.
Susie perked up: " That's because it's empty", she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."
Never question a drunk!
A 37 year old woman at the super market says: NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK . . . . I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found "Mr. Right." I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.....
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said -- 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly'.
Not sure my son understands Football
I took my six year old son to his first football game over the weekend. On our way out I asked him what he thought of the game.
"It was exciting," my son said. "But I don't understand why they fighting so much over twenty-five cents."
"What do you mean?" I asked my son a little confused myself.
"Well," he started to say, "everyone kept yelling 'get the quarter back!'"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Philosophy 112, or the joke that I just told in a dream and have to write down for posterity
Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random b**... classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent e**... service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a p**..., and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the w**....
English couple adopt a German baby boy 'Engelbert'....
.....now six years old Engelbert has never spoke a word, everyone just assumed he is mute.
Then one day at the breakfast table Engelbert shouted (with a typical German accent) mummy these sausages are not cooked through!
Mummy rushed across and shocked with disbelief said Engelgert you can talk, how come you never said anything for six years?
(German Accent again) Engelbert replied up until now everything has been quite satisfactory.
A Sunday School Teacher . . .
A Sunday School Teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "Honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat, one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
The Memory Man
A man from Liverpool, England was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the hills of Nevada. He was chatting to the bartender when he spied an old Native American man sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face.
"Who's he?" asked the Liverpudlian.
"That's the Memory Man." said the bartender. "He knows everything, remembers everything. He can remember every face he's ever seen. He can remember any fact he hears or reads. Go and try him out."
So the Liverpudlian goes over, and thinking he won't know about English football, asks "Who won the 1965 FA Cup Final?".
"Liverpool" replies the Memory Man.
"Who did they beat?"
"Leeds" was the instant reply.
"And the score?"
"2-1."
"Who scored the winning goal?"
"Ian St. John" said the old man, without a hint of hesitation.
The Liverpudlian was knocked out by this and told everyone back home about the Memory Man when he got back.
A few years later he went back to the USA and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Native American, only this time he was older and even more wrinkled.
The Liverpudlian approached him with the greeting "How".
The Memory man looked up and said, "Diving header in the six yard box".
shoplifting
This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.
When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'
She replied, 'A can of peaches.'
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied that there were six.
The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, 'What is it?'
The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Medical miracle!
An 80 year woman married an 85-year-old man. After about six months together, the woman wasn't feeling well and she went to her doctor.
The doctor examined and said, "Congratulations Mrs. Jones, you're going to be a mother."
"Get serious doctor, I'm 80."
"I know," said the doctor, "This morning, I would have said it was impossible, but this afternoon you are a medical miracle."
"I'll be darned," she replied and stormed out of the office. She walked down the hall and around the corner to where the telephones were. In a rage, she dialed her husband.
"Hello" she heard in his familiar halting voice.
She screamed, "You rotten s**.... You got me pregnant!"
There was a pause on the line. Finally, her husband answered, "Who's calling please?"
Joe goes down to the docks...(long)
... to look for a job. He sees three old sailors sitting on a bench in front of a large ship, having a conversation. As Joe walks past to them, he hears what they're saying.
- Number four! says the first sailor, and the other two starts to laugh.
- Number six! says the second one with a giggle, and the other two starts to laugh.
Joe is a little bit confused, so he walks up to them and asks:
- Hey! I heard what you were talking about, and I have to ask, what's so funny about some numbers?
- Well, says the third sailor, we have been out on the sea for more than thirty years. By this time we all know each other very well, so we decided to put numbers on our jokes instead re-telling them every time.
- That sounds a bit weird, says Joe.
- Maybe, says the second sailor, why don't you try for yourself?
- Okay then, number eightythree, Joe says.
All three sailors start to laugh really hard, one of them even falls of the bench and can hardly breathe.
- What was so funny about it? Joe asks.
Still giggling, the first sailor answers:
- Never heard that one before!
My six year old niece made up this joke. I think she may be a comedic prodigy.
Why did the sweater go to boot camp?
To warm up!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day, I was walking through town with my girlfriend…
…and people were continuously shouting at me as I went by,
"p**..., p**...!"
My girlfriend then turned to me and said, innocently,
"What's a p**...?"
And so I replied,
"Wow, that's a big word for a six-year-old."
Old lady thief....
An 80 year old women was caught shoplifting a can of peaches.
During her court appearance the judge asked the lady "So tell me why did you steal the peaches?" to which the old lady replied, "Your honor I was very hungry because my husband and I have no money to eat".
The judge then asked the old lady "How many peaches were in the tin?"
"Six" she replied.
"Ok i'm going to give you one day in prison for each peach."
All of a sudden, the wife's husband stood up and objected the judge's ruling.
"Your honor I have to admit, last week she stole a can of peas".
My six-year old cousin wanted to know how traffic lights worked...
So she asked her dad, "Daddy, what does the yellow light mean?"
"Slow down," my uncle replied.
"Okay. Whaaat doooes the yelllowwww liiiight meeeaaaannn?"
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees...
"I don't want to know," the child said, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me."
Confused, the father asked what was wrong.
The boy sobbed, "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.
If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I like my wine like I do my women....
... six years old, filled with alcohol and stored in my cellar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is in a confessional booth
He says 'Father, please I must tell you something!'
The Reverend tells him to proceed
'Six years ago my wife died and I've been pretty lonely. Tonight I had s**... for hours for the first time since with four college students I met in a bar.'
'It is natural that you're feeling bad about sleeping with women who aren't your wife, it is okay for you to move on though.' The Reverend replies.
'Oh you don't understand Father, I'm not upset.'
'Then why are you telling me?'
'Trust me, Father. I'm telling everyone!'
Adultery
n old man went into confession and told the priest: Father,I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls.Twice.
I see, said the priest. When was the last time you were in confession?
Never,Father , replied the old man. I'm Jewish
So why are you telling me?
I'm telling everybody!
An old man was asking God:
"God, how much time do I have until I'll die?"
And God answered: "Nine."
"God, is that you? What do you mean? Nine months? Nine years?"
"Eight, seven, six..."
The Old Man and his wife
A couple were celebrating 60 years of marriage, the old man kissed his wife's neck and then said: "Of our six kids the last one didn's look anything like his brothers and sister, did he have a different father?"
After a moment she took a deep breath and answered yes.
The old man sighed. "Who was he?"
"You.
Why shouldn't you tell a pirate your secrets?
They ain't private ears.
(I don't care if a six year old came to this first thirty years ago, it just came to me.)
The kids at school used to call my mum the village bike
She wasn't promiscuous; when I was six years old she went missing and they found her in the canal.
(Mat Ewins)
My six year olds joke: What happened when the joke came out of the man's head?
Me: What happened?
Kiddo: He lit on fire and turned into a joke ghost.
My six year old daughter was watching me shave this morning..
"Why do you shave, daddy?" she enquired.
"Because mommy likes me with nice smooth skin." I explained.
"Does it hurt?" she asked.
"No, not at all." I said. "Unless I cut myself."
"And then do you put a Band Aid on?" She asked.
"No, I just stick a little piece of toilet paper on any cuts." I told her.
"But don't they just fall off?"
"No, sweetheart." I replied. "They're held in place when I put my underpants back on."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Six year old Kid looking at Mom's ID card...
s**... - F
He laughs...
Mom : Whats so funny ?
Kid : I can't believe you are
so bad in s**....
You Failed in it!!
Jokes for six year old
Hey guys. Was hoping all you hilarious people at jokes could help a dad out.
I recently started working out of town for long stretches and I just want to be able to tell my six year old son some funny jokes for his age.
I've looked some up but after the 4th website I realized they are mostly unoriginal and not that funny. Anyways, you guys got anything to make the little man laugh when I call him?
"What's a fly spray?" I asked my six-year old son.
He said, "It's something that gets eaten by flies."
My six year old was very upset to hear about the death of X
Sesame Street will never be the same...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So
Just before the f**... services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband? Ninety-eight, she replied. Two years older than I am.
So you're ninety-six, the undertaker said.
She responded, Hardly worth going home, is it?
My six year old daughters first non-knock knock joke, told as a knock knock joke
Her: Knock Knock
Me: Who's there?
Her: Why did the chicken climb up the ladder and back down again?
Me: Sweetie, this isn't a how knock knock jokes work.
Her: Dad, this isn't a knock knock joke
Me: Okay.....
Her: To get to the other slide
Timmy Learns to Count
A preschool teacher asked her students in class, "who can count from one to ten?"
Little 3-year old Timmy swiftly raised his hand, "I can!" and started counting "one, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!"
The teacher is impressed, "Well done Timmy! Who taught you that?"
"My uncle Bobby!" Timmy said.
"Can you count past ten?" The teacher asked Timmy.
"That's easy!" Timmy continued, "Jack, Queen, King..."
My six year old son asked me,
"Dad, Where did I come from?"
I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation. So I said, "
Purchased Vs. Homemade
Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.
Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.
"Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."
Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."
"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! that I was HOMEMADE."
My six year old son told me a joke at dinner tonight and I absolutely loved it.
Son: "Knock, knock"
Me: "Who's there?"
Son: "A chicken"
Me: " "A chicken who?"
Son *interrupting*: "Pew pew pew pew pew!"
Me: .................?
Him: "Get it?! Like it's shooting eggs at you!"
My six-year old just got pregnant!
She's a Labrador Beagle Mix, and she'll be having a litter of puppies in September!
So today my six year old daughter ask me where she came from.
Now, I've always said, when she asks, it means she's ready to hear the truth, and I will explain the truth as best I can and it's appropriate for her age.
So, I explain to my six-year-old daughter, the facts of life. To which she replies, wow my friend Debbie said she came from Oklahoma.
The Baby Brother
For weeks a six-year old boy kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event. The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
Don't tell me about the Birds and the Bees
A father asked his ten year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. I don't want to know, the child said, bursting into tears. Promise me you won't tell me. The dad was perplexed. Why don't you want to know?
When I was six, I got the 'there's no Easter bunny speech.' When I was seven, I got the 'there's no Tooth Fairy' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with there being no Santa. If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really get laid, I have nothing to live for!
A woman bursts out of the examining room, screaming after her doctor tells her she is pregnant
The director of the clinic stops her and asks what the problem is. She tells him what happened and another doctor has her sit down and relax in another room while he marches down the hallway to where the woman's doctor had informed her of the pregnancy.
What is wrong with you? Mrs. Miller is 60 years old, has six grown children and nine grandchildren - and you tell her she's pregnant?
The doctor continues to write his notes and without looking up at his colleague says, tell me, does she still have the hiccups?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee.
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee. One turns to the other and says, Your dinky doesn't have any skin on it. That's because I've been circumcised, he replies. Cor! What does that mean?
It means the skin's been cut off the end. How old were you when they did that? About two days old. Did it hurt? It sure did. I didn't walk for a year.
Told to me by a six year old.
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.
What's the turkey's favorite letter of the alphabet?
Gobble-You!
Note: my six year old made up this joke.
I was in the car with my family, talking about self esteem...
My 6 six year old daughter says... "daddy, what happens when you look in the mirror and you're ugly?" I'm immediately concerned and ask her "sweety, did someone say something mean to you? you are beautiful". She quickly replies, "no daddy, I was talking about you."
Any great and funny jokes like this one for my 8 year old granddaughter?
She loves this one:
A guy is sitting in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up and opens the door, no one there. Looks down and sees a snail on the doormat. Being a guy, of course he picks it up and throws it across the street.
Six months later, the guy is in his living room, hears a knock at the door. Gets up, opens the door, no one there. He looks down and it's that snail. Snail looks up and yells "what the heck was that about?!!!".
I rang my brothers house....
...and his six year old son, Billy, answered the phone.
"Hey Billy" I said "Is your Dad there?
"Yes" he answered is a whisper. "But he's busy."
"What about your Mum?" I said
"She's busy too", he replied, but again in a whisper I could barely hear.
"What are they doing?" I asked
"They're talking to the policemen" he replied, still in a very faint whisper.
"What are the policemen doing there?" I asked
"Looking for me" he whispered
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the six year old that got eaten by a lion?
He was ate before he was seven.
Two six-year-old boys are standing in the toilet having a pee.
One turns to the other and says, Your dinky doesn't have any skin on it.
That's because I've been circumcised, he replies.
Cor! What does that mean?
It means the skin's been cut off the end.
How old were you when they did that?
About two days old.
Did it hurt?
It sure did. I didn't walk for a year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two little kids.....
aged six and eight, decide it's time to learn how to swear. So the eight-year-old says to the six-year-old, Okay, you say a**...' and I'll say h**....'
All excited about their plan, they troop downstairs, where their mother asks them what they'd like for breakfast. Aw, h**..., says the eight-year-old, gimme some Cheerios. His mother backhands him off the stool, sending him bawling out of the room, and turns to the younger brother. What'll you have?
I dunno, quavers the six-year-old, but you can bet your a**... it ain't gonna be Cheerios.
