Six Pack Jokes

96 six pack jokes and hilarious six pack puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about six pack that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Six Pack Short Jokes

Short six pack jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The six pack humour may include short bikini body jokes also.

  1. A guy is buying some game DVDs, some magazines and a six pack. Cashier : "You must be single."
    Guy: "Wow, how did you know?"
    Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
  2. What do you call a Snowman with six-pack abs? What do you can a Snowman with six-pack abs?
    An Abdominal Snowman.
  3. Looking forward to my traditional 7-course Irish Thanksgiving meal A six pack and a potato
  4. The teacher asks little Johnny : "Your dad buys 18 six-packs of beer at $3 a piece, how much is it ?" "I'd say about a one week supply, Ma'am !"
  5. The best way to get a six pack at the gym is to take the beer from your fridge and smuggle it in.
  6. How did Jesus get in such good shape to always have a six-pack in his paintings? Cross-fit
  7. I love my six packs so much that I have protected it with layers of fat.
  8. I wanted to finally have a six-pack so girls would like me so I hired a personal trainer to work me out... ...I quit after two days because I couldn't take the ab use.
  9. How do you like my six-pack? It was only $4.99 in the ab-store.
  10. My wife hates six packs She thinks they're very abnormal

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Six Pack One Liners

Which six pack one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with six pack? I can suggest the ones about belly and waist.

  1. What do you get when you shoot four bullets into a six pack? A Tupac...
  2. What do you call a yeti with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
  3. What's a 7 course meal for an Irishman? A six-pack and a potato.
  4. How did Jesus get six pack abs? Cross Fit
  5. Who were the first people with six packs? Ab originals
  6. What's a seven-course meal in Alabama? A possum and a six-pack.
  7. Why did Jesus have a six pack? It was from all the cross-training...
  8. How does a bishop get a six pack? He exorcises
  9. If you have a six pack and get shot four times in the stomach, what do you have? A Tupac
  10. How would you describe a bodybuilder who doesn't have six packs Abnormal.
  11. What's an Irish seven course meal? a six pack and a bag of chips
  12. Here's a sweet (But corny) joke! Q: What do you call three packs of Twix?
    A: Six.
  13. Why is Jesus always shown with a six pack of abs? Because hes Cross fit.
    Happy easter!
  14. I decided to show off my six pack on Tinder. Budweiser is not getting me any dates.
  15. Some girls are in to a six pack... I'm just a guy that's looking for a box full of wine.

Playful Six Pack Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about six pack you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tummy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make six pack pranks.

Chuck Norris has a six-pack on his chin.

What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.

My six pack is protected by a layer of fat.

What's a man's idea of a perfect date? A woman who answers the door stark n**... holding a six pack.

A golfer bought a six pack of beer but he had to take it back...

because there was a hole-in-one

How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?

If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.
What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.
How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.
Why are criminals so hard to catch in Alabama? Everyone has the same DNA.
What does an Alabaman call a six-pack and a dead possum? A seven-course meal.
Since state jokes seem to be the thing today, and, well, I'm from Georgia...

As soon as they had finished making love, Susie jumped up from the bed and started packing her suitcase

"What on earth are you doing?" asked her puzzled husband.
"In Las Vegas I could get two hundred dollars for what I just gave you for free," she pointed out, "so I'm moving to Las Vegas."
This was enough to provoke her husband to jump up and begin packing *his* bags.
"What are you up to?" asked Susie in surprise.
"I'm following you to Las Vegas," he replied. "I've *got* to see you live off six hundred dollars a year."

billy joe r**... has 10 kids...

so he decides its time for a vasectomy. he goes to the doctor who explains the procedure and the cost. billy joe asks if theres a cheaper way to handle this... the doc says "aren't you billy joe the r**...? heres what you need to do, drink a six pack, but in the last can light a cherry bomb, drop it in, then count to ten! You only need to buy the beer and the cherry bomb." Billy joe is sceptical, but takes the doctors advise. He downs a sixpack, put a lit cherry bomb in the sixth can and starts counting... 1....2...3....4....5. (places can between legs so he can use his other fingers...)

Pouring rain, New York City. A drunk hails a cab.

Cabbie rolls down the windo, the drunk man says "hey mister, do you gave room for half a chicken and a six-pack in here"?
Annoyed, the cabbie says "sure"
the drunk says BLUGHHHHHH


Lady Interviewer: Do you drink every day?
Man: Yes.
Lady Interviewer: How much a day?
Man: Around 3 six-packs starting at noon.
Lady Interviewer: How much does a 6-pack cost?
Man: Roughly $10.00 at a deli.
Lady Interviewer: And how long have you been drinking like that?
Man: 15 years.
Lady Interviewer: So with a six-pack costing $10.00, and you consuming 3 six-packs a day, you are spending roughly $900 each month. In one year, you would then be spending $10,800, correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady Interviewer: If in 1 year you spend $10,800 on beer, not accounting for inflation, 15 years puts your spending roughly $162,000; correct?
Man: Correct.
Lady Interviewer: Did it ever occur to you that if you did not drink for the last 15 years, you could have bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you drink?
Lady Interviewer: No.
Man: So where's your f**...' Ferrari?

Bob died...

Harry, Jim and Bob are all building a huge skyscraper. They're sat on one of the high up girders, when Bob has a tragic accident and falls to his death. When Jim and Harry get back down to ground level, they try to decide who should tell Bobs wife. Then Jim has an idea.
"How about, we just do rock, paper, scissors, and whoever loses tells his wife?"
Harry agrees, and loses the game. An hour later, Harry comes back to the building site with a 6 pack of beer beneath his arm.
"How'd you get that" Jim asks, bewildered.
"Bobs wife gave them to me!" Harry replies.
"Well I thought it was best to just tell her it straight. I knocked on the door and said, Mrs. Geldof, I'm afraid you're a widow. She said she wasn't, so I said, care to bet me a six pack?"

I just found a six pack in my room.

Case closed

One day while scaffolding...

Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife.
Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job.
After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.
"So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replied Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff: "She gave it to me!"
"What??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.
"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'are you Steve's widow?' 'Widow?', she said, 'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!'
So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'"

It's a Saturday evening...

It's a Saturday evening. A man goes up to the register in a supermarket, bearing a six pack of beer, a bag of chips, some dip, a pint of ice cream, and toilet paper. The cashier says, "Single, huh?"
The man laughs and says, "Yeah, how can you tell?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."

A single man is in the checkout line at a grocery store...

...and the cashier watches as he places each item on the belt: 1 frozen pizza, 5 TV dinners, 1 bar of soap, and 1 six-pack of Budweiser.
As she takes his money, the cashier looks at the man and says "you must be single, right?"
The man is taken aback. "You can tell that from what I'm buying?" he asks.
The cashier replies, "no, you're just b**...-ugly."

This guy goes through the checkout line of the grocery store…

and he's got, like, a stack of frozen dinners, a six-pack of beer, a big 'ol bag of chips, and a single roll of toilet paper.
The cute checkout girl says, "Well, I know *you're* single!"
The guy says, "Well, yeah—how'd you guess?"
She says, "You're ugly."

Father takes his son to the pharmacy...

They are walking down an aisle and the son see's a 3 pack of condoms and asks "Father what are these?"
The father replies, "Well son those are for high school boys, one for Friday one for Saturday and one for Sunday."
They keep on walking and the son see's a six pack and asks, "Dad this pack has six?!"
The dad replies, "Yes son, those are for college boys two for Friday, two for Saturday and 2 for Sunday."
They continue walking and the son see's a twelve pack. This time in shock the son says, "Dad wow these have 12 why?!"
The father replies, "Well son those are for married men, 1 for January, 1 for February.....

Two natives are sitting at a bus stop

one of them is holding a plastic grocery bag. The other one asks him "What have you got in your bag?" He replies "I got a six-pack for my wife." The second one says "Oh... that's a good trade"

A little boy and his dad were in line at the drug store

And the boy picks up a pack of condoms. He asks "what are these daddy?" And his dad says "those are for high school kids." The boy asks "why are there three?" The father says "one for Thursday night, one for Friday night, and one for Saturday night."
The boy picks up another pack and asks "why are there six in this one?" So the father says "those are for college kids. Two for Thursday, two for Friday, and two for Saturday."
The boy picks up a third pack and asks "why are there twelve in this one?" The father says "oh those are for married men. One for every month of the year."

I love my six pack.

Which is why I protect it with a thick layer of fat.

Dinner with Girlfriends parents..

Ambitious boyfriend visits a chemist store to buy some condoms for the evening..
The store owner recommends him some new flavoured and textured codoms and the guy talks at length with him on the evolution of condoms and finally buys a pack of six..
Upon reaching his girlfriends place in the evening he is introduced to his GFs father.
He bows down before him as a mark of respect and is in that position for sometime
"I didnt know you believed in the asian custom of bowing" says his GF.
In a nervous murmur, he exclaims "I didnt know that your father was a chemist!"

Secret to Long Life

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," said the woman, "how old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

If you have a six-pack and a friend drinks five of your beers, what do you have left?

One less friend.

How does a man prepare a seven course meal?

He buys a six pack of beer and a sausage.

What's an Irish Seven Course Dinner?

A boiled potato and a six-pack of Guinness Stout.

Girl: I like guys with six-packs...

Guy: *opens refrigerator*

Drunk in a Taxi

So, a drunk climbs gracelessly into the back of a taxi and says "Drive."
As they pull from the curb, he leans forward and asks the driver, "Do you have room up front for a large pepperoni pizza and a six-pack of beer?"
The driver replies, "Sure!"
The drunk bends over the seat and says, "HHUURRRRGGHHHHHH!"

I had an eight course Irish dinner tonight.

A six pack of beer, a potato, and a glass of whiskey to finish it off.

A girl told me she'd only date me if I had a six-pack

How can I get beer if I'm under 21?

A Man's Guide to Fine Dining

A man invited a woman over to his home for a seven-course meal.
That's lovely, she said. What are we going to have?
He said, A hot dog and a six-pack of beer.

What are three n**... girls on a six-pack beer?

In the way...

What do you call h**... with a six-pack?


Why are waffles healthier than pancakes?

Waffles are pancakes with a six-pack.

Bartering with Beer

Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her bra-less self almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a s**... voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow,
would you be interested in trading s**... for beer?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"Depends on what kind of beer you've got!"

Having a Party?

My wife came in from shopping with two 18-pack cases of lager, a case of bitters, six bottles of wine, four handles of v**..., two bottles of Bourbon, a case of club soda, ice and two loaves of bread. …
I said, Are we having a party? …
She said, No.
I said, Why did you buy two freakin' loaves of bread then?"

Give a man a fish and he has food for a day. Teach a man to fish and...

...he has to buy bamboo rods, graphite reels, monofilament lines, neoprene waders, creels, tackleboxes, lures, flies, spinners, worm rigs, slip sinkers, offset hooks, gore-tex hats, 20 pocket vests, fish finders, depth sounders, radar, boats, trailers, global positioning systems, coolers, and six-packs.

What do you call three toucans?

A six pack

What happens if put six abalones together?

you get a six pack

I spent my whole day raising awareness for the environment.

Birds sure p**... at you when you attach six-pack rings to them, but man do I feel like I made a difference!

I'm thinking of trying to get a six pack.

That's all.

Three guys - Steve, Bill and Charlie were working on a high rise building.

Steve falls off the rise and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says "Someone should go and tell his wife."
Bill says "Ok, I'm pretty good at handing such sensitive stuff; I'll do it."
2 hours later he comes back carrying a six pack of beer.
Charlie asks "Where did you get that Bill?"
"Steve's wife gave it to me."
"That's unbelievable. You told the lady that her husband is dead and she gave you the beer?"
Bill says, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her 'You must be Steve's widow.
She said, "I'm not a widow.
and I said, "wanna bet me a six pack?

(Long) Crashing Plane

The pilot comes on the intercom and announces "ladies and gentlemen we just lost our engines, we are going down, prepare to c**...."
A woman jumps up screaming "I AM NOT READY TO DIE, I"M STILL A v**..., SOMEONE MAKE A WOMAN OUT OF ME!
A good looking guy gets up, walks to her, and takes off his shirt showing his muscular chest and six pack abs,
He throws it at her and says; " Here, iron this".

No girl will choose 6 packs over six figures but..

She will marry 6 figures and cheat on him with six packs.

If a man has six sheep and one wolf eats two of his sheep. How many sheep does he have now?

Zero, wolves always travel in packs.

Hot people always trying to fight oppression by taking off their clothes.

Imagine where we'd be if Rosa Parks had a thigh gap, or Ghandi had a six pack.

Why is crucified Jesus always depicted with six pack abs?

He did CrossFit.

People with AB blood type develop a six pack more easily

It's literally in their blood

Where is your six pack?

I left it in the fridge.

My wife and I made a stop smoking pact, so now we only light up after s**... and I've only had six cigarettes in the last two months

my wife is up to three packs a day

Two Nuns

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer,
wine, and liquor section. One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one,
but that she would feel uncomfortable about purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle that without a problem.
She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier.
The cashier had a surprised look, so the nun said,
'This is for washing our hair.'
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under
the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer.
'The curlers are on me.'

A young man walks into a convenience store

He opens up the beer cooler and grabs a six pack. An old man standing next to him gives him a look, and the young man says "how much do you want to bet they'll sell me this beer even though I'm not twenty-one?" The old man says "they even check MY ID here. Twenty bucks."
"You're on." The young man says as he walks up to the cashier. Much to the old man's dismay, the young man shows his ID and pays for the beer.
"How? How did they sell you that if you're not twenty-one?" The old man asks.
The young man puts out his hand and says "That's easy, I'm twenty-two."

An Accordion Player Stops For Beer

An accordion player stops at a convenience store to grab a six pack.
As he's closing the car door he sees his accordion in the back seat and has a split thought that maybe he should put it in the trunk, but then thinks nah, he's literally gonna be just 20 feet away for 2 minutes.
The guy's in the shop for only 90 seconds, but as he's coming out sees that his rear window has been smashed. He shouts "oh no, not again"!
He looks in the back seat, and sure enough, there's three accordions.

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch...

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer, wine, and liquor section.

One asked the other if she would like a beer.
The second nun answered that, indeed, it would be very nice to have one, but that she would feel uncomfortable purchasing it.
The first nun replied that she would handle it without a problem. She picked up a six-pack and took it to the cashier. The cashier was surprised, so the nun said, This is for washing our hair.
Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter and put a package of pretzel sticks in the bag with the beer. The curlers are on me. -

Saw Mill Accident

Two coworkers at the saw mill witness a horrible accident that claims the life of their friend Earl. They decide their first course of action would be to inform Earl's wife, who neither of them have ever met. Ultimately, the first worker says he'll go.
About ten minutes later, he returns with a six pack of beer that he claims to have gotten from Earl's wife. In order to explain this, he describes what happened at Earl's house.
"Are you Earl's widow?"
"I'm not a widow."
"Really? You wanna bet a six pack of beer on that?"

Woman asks an old man rocking on his porch...

What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day. I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'

jokes about six pack