Sith Jokes
92 sith jokes and hilarious sith puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sith that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
A look at some of the funniest Sith jokes and puns from the Star Wars universe. From references to Aang, Alderaan and Snoke, we have something for everyone!
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Funniest Sith Short Jokes
Short sith jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sith humour may include short absolute jokes also.
- Why do the Jedi refuse to measure temperature using Kelvin? Because only a Sith deals in absolutes
- How many sith lords does it take to change a light bulb? None. They like it on the dark side.
- My wife said to me if I don't stop quoting Star Wars she's going to leave me I replied "Only a Sith deals in absolutes"
- Where do the Sith go to do their shopping? The Darth Mall
- What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side? (shrugs)
"Well, Sith happens" - What do you call a Sith Lord who left his wife? Darth Evade-her
- My wife told me she was tired of me always talking about StarWars and nothing else I told her only a Sith deals in absolutes
- Why won't the Jedi use parallel bars? Because only the Sith deal in |absolutes|.
- "Remember, Luke, a Jedi always has doubts about something. Only a Sith can be 100% sure about everything." "Dad, are you sure?"
"Absolutely." - What kind of coffee do Siths drink? Darth roast.
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Sith One Liners
Which sith one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sith? I can suggest the ones about and .
- Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale? Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
- Where do Siths do their shopping? At the Darth Mall
- What do you call a Sith Lord with joint pain? Darthritis
- Which sith lord prefers to cripple his opponents rather than kill them? Darth Ritis
- Where do the Sith hang out after school? The Darth Mall.
- How do the Sith ascend? Elevaders
- What do you call a shopping center for Sith lords? A Darth mall.
- Where does a Sith Lord do their shopping? The Maul.
- What is a Sith Lord's favorite drink at the bar? A Palpitini
- What is a Siths favorite thing to ride in? An elevader.
- Where did the sith go to get their robes The shopping maul
- Where do Sith shop? The Darth Mall
- Math is evil... Only the Sith deal in absolute values.
- What does an aging Sith lord with a bad hip use to get around? An Imperial Walker
- Where does a Sith Lord buy their clothes? At the Darth Mall.
Sith Lord Jokes
Here is a list of funny sith lord jokes and even better sith lord puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the sith lord who went shopping? He went to the Maul. Everything was half off.
- What do you call a sith lord that doesn't pay his taxes? Darth Evader
- What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord and a skyscraper? An ele-Vader.
- Why did the Sith Lord cross the road? To get to the dark side!
- Who is the oldest Sith Lord? Darth Ritis
- A sith lord became a karate sensei. It was master vader
- What do you call a Sith Lord who lives in the woods? Darth Deciduous
- What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight? A sithy.
- Which Sith lord was the least dextrous and agile? Darth Ritis.
- What did the Sith Lord say when getting his picture taken? Make sure to get my dark side!
Star Wars Sith Jokes
Here is a list of funny star wars sith jokes and even better star wars sith puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special
- What do you get when you cross a Sith Lord, and a Donkey? Darth Mule!
A joke, from third grade me...
Happy Star Wars day! - Why is v**... so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe? Because only Siths deal in Absolut.
Revenge Sith Jokes
Here is a list of funny revenge sith jokes and even better revenge sith puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The death of Mace Windu in Revenge of the Sith
- Carrie Fisher is dead? Revenge of the Sith II confirmed.
Charming Humor Sith Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about sith you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sith pranks.
When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?
In the Sith grade.
Why did Darth Sidious choose Vader for Anakin's Sith name?
So when he got an apprentice he would be called MasterVader.
Where do the sith get their clothes?
Darth Mall
Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
^and ^it's ^non-differentiable ^at ^0
What is a Mathematician specializing in absolute numbers called?
A Sith.
What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...?
Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?
Only a Sith deals in absolutes
Imagine a place where you can buy everything related to the Sith and the Dark Side
It would be called the Darth Mall...
...and everything would be half off
Why did Darth Maul j**... into a piece of fruit?
Because the sith always comes in pears
Obi-Wan captured a Sith and bring him to Yoda.
Obi-Wan: Should I kill the Sith or let him go?
Yoda: Kill him...
\*Obi-Wan executes the Sith.\*
Yoda: ...you must not.
What did Mike Tyson say to the Death Star elevator attendant?
"Sith floor pleaths"
Why don't the jedi drink v**...?
Because only the Sith deal in absolut
Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework?
Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.
What is the difference between a shitlord and a sith lord?
They're pretty much the same; just the space.
Genders are like the Sith
There can only be two. No more, no less.
Why are the Sith never negative?
They only deal in absolutes.
What will the Sith call the earth when they invade and take command?
The Force r**...
Did you hear what the Jedi council said about Mustafar?
They called it a Sith hole.
Why did the cab-driving sith get arrested?
He was a Taxi Vader.
Why won't Obi-Wan mix you a v**... cocktail?
Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.
why is it general kenobi and not specific kenobi ?
only a sith deals in absolutes
Where do Sith Lords go shopping?
At the Darth Mall!
Hayden Christensen got mad and punched an autograph seeker
The Sith really hit the fan!
Star Wars is about the eternal conflict between two opposing forces. One headhunts children across the galaxy, puts them into a religious cult, indoctrinates them, even forbids them from having a relationship, then sends them off to die in the nearest war.
The other is the Sith.
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
If you go to a Jedi bar, the only v**... that you can get is Grey Goose.
Because..only the Sith deal in Absolut.
