Site Jokes
134 site jokes and hilarious site puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about site that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some laughs? This article explores the funny side of building sites, dating sites and Irish building sites. Learn why an influx of people to a good dating site can be funny, as well as what Terra web can teach us about being humorous. Get ready to chuckle at the jokes you hear!
Quick Jump To
- Short Site Jokes
- Site One Liners
- Dating Site Jokes
- Construction Site Jokes
- Building Site Jokes
- Web Site Jokes
- More Site Jokes
Funniest Site Short Jokes
Short site jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The site humour may include short page jokes also.
- I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today But all of the research sites are down.
- Sony has a site where you can watch The Interview for $5.99 and I can't think of a single reason not to trust them with my credit card info.
- Reddit is possibly the most environmentally conscious site on the internet. Nearly 100% of the content is recycled at some point, often several times.
- I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there.
- Due to the current economic situation in the world, I've started a dating site for chickens. It's not my full-time job, I'm just doing it...
...to make hens meet. - A woman on a dating site sent me a message saying, "Wow! Your gorgeous, how come your still single?" "It's spelled 'you're'," I replied.
- Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago.. She's my Seoul mate.
- Did you hear about the archeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site? His career is in ruins.
- What do you call a webpage that helps your eyes feel better? A site for sore eyes!
My dad made this up and wanted me to post it lol
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Site One Liners
Which site one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with site? I can suggest the ones about area and location.
- What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They are both Paris sites
- I Don't care what any of you say.. My Alzheimer's lets me enjoy this site everyday
- my mum just started a dating site for chickens She'd do anything to make hens meet
- Have you ever visited conjunctivitis.com? It's a site for sore eyes
- looking back, I wish I'd bought my baked beans online... Heinz site's a wonderful thing
- What kind of bird works on a construction site? A crane.
- How do dating sites in Alabama save money? They link to Ancestry.com
- I started work at a drilling site and left soon after. It was a boring job.
- This new dating site is amazing! Roblox is a weird name for it though.
- I met the love of my life through an online dating site Too bad my wife found out
- www.emergencyophthalmologists.com Now there's a site for sore eyes
- I once saw Medusa on a cam girl site I was rock hard the entire time
- Why did the Chicken switch tabs? To get to the other site.
- How do you call the site where you hook up with old women? Instagran
- Say what you will about North Koreans No seriously, they're not allowed on this site.
Dating Site Jokes
Here is a list of funny dating site jokes and even better dating site puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got banned from a Christian dating site I suppose "hung like Jesus" *was* a poor choice for a username.
- I've just started up a dating site for chickens... It's not my main job, I'm just doing it to make hens meet...
- Hey my name is Nathan and i'm 12 years old:) I was wondering if there was a dating site for only 12 year olds and under... I'm not asking for myself!! My uncle was wondering
- I thought my dating site for chickens would make me a fortune But I'm struggling to make hens meet
- Told my friend to use multiple dating apps to find a partner because… … she doesn't believe in love at first site
- I joined a Ukrainian dating site Now I have a chick in Kiev
- I joined a Christian dating site And got Holy Ghosted
- I made an account on a dating site for people with sleep apnea. I got a couple of messages but I'm too tired to check them out.
- Perfect Bio for any Chirstian Dating Site I love Jesus and long walks on the water.
- Starting a sugar daddy dating site for people into 80s music. I'm calling it Girls Just Wanna Have Funds.
Construction Site Jokes
Here is a list of funny construction site jokes and even better construction site puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- They hired a comedian at the local construction site. Everyone loves him. You could say he was really nailing it.
- A construction site worker told his boss "Boss, the shovel broke ! What should i do now?" to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"
- The size of the wildlife at construction sites is huge. I mean, just look at the size of those cranes.
- The foreman at my bridge construction site is always rushing things. But when I got the beams set ahead of schedule he didn't believe me. Nobody expects the span is in position.
- I didn't believe when they told me my brother was a construction site thief But when I got home, the signs were there
- What do you call a bunch of carpenter ants? A construction site.
- I couldn't believe it when my Dad was arrested for stealing from construction sites. I should have known really, all the signs were there.
- I heard a guy was playing with himself while watching construction workers on a job site... Guess he was getting off on the ground floor.
- After working a construction site in the blistering heat all summer, it made me really miss my old gig. Because 7/11 was an inside job.
- My dad was a construction site thief When I got home all the signs were there.
Building Site Jokes
Here is a list of funny building site jokes and even better building site puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man walks into a bar. He goes "I really shouldn't be walking through a building site" and leaves.
- I worked with a guy on a building site... I once worked with a guy on a building site who never wore steel toe caps. When I asked him why, he said he didn't them. Turns out he was lactose intolerant.
- To commemorate the disaster in Mecca where a crane fell and crushed pilgrims, Saudi Arabia will build a restaurant at the site. An IHOP: International House of Pancakes.
- I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site... Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.
- Why is Donald Trump so intent on building a wall with Mexico? To stop the workers at his construction site from running back!
- I work on a construction site, and we're building a new apartment block. The ground floor has turned out pretty good. But the first floor? That's a whole other storey.
Web Site Jokes
Here is a list of funny web site jokes and even better web site puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear that Virginia's Governor and First Lady actually met on a dating web site? It was called OKKKCupid.
- How do you spot a modern spider? He has a web site.
- I visited a polish web site and now my cursor is gone.
- Security measures. Web site log in: Sorry, your password 257EeffQ@# is not secure enough.
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Cash machine login 1234: Here's your 1000 dollars. - [For Programmers] Why wouldn't the web site render correctly? Because it was an Edge case.
- Had to fire the web designer from my Allergy Eye Drop business today... ...everything he designed was a site for sore eyes.
- I have designed web site for crippled children There isn't a back button
- Just been on the web site BIGBUSTYCOONS.COM Those guys really know how to run bus companies!
- Why did spider-man cross the road? To get to the *web*site !! *ba-dum-tsss*
- I just created a web site for English girls who got a sunburn at the n**... beach. It's called Redtit.
Unearthly Funniest Site Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about site you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean server jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make site pranks.
After my joke last week about the Holy Qur'an...
...I had tons of private messages from Muslims on this site. As an apology to them I would like to say this:
"Islam is a religion based on peace, love and respect, and this is the central message of the Qur'an. As such I offer a full apology for making the claim that it encourages s**... b**... and violence."
OK, there - I said it. Now can you please stop sending me death threats?
The moon landing was fake
But the film director demanded they film on site
After 3 failed marriages, an old woman decides to try an online dating site..
She sets up an account with all her info and says she is looking for "a man who will not beat me, Will not walk all over me, and is great in bed." After 2 weeks no one has replied. Then, one day some one rings the doorbell. The woman gets up and opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs sitting there. He says "Hello, I'm here about your online dating profile." the woman says to him, "well I want a man who won't beat me.." the man says "I have no arms, therefore I can not beat you." the woman says "well I want a man who won't walk all over me." the man replies "I have no legs, so I can't even walk." the woman says "well, I want a man who's great in bed.." the man replies "hey, I rang the doorbell didn't I?
Did you hear about the new farmers dating site?
It's full of h**....
Deer Season
Seven guys have been going to the same deer camp for many years. Two days before the group is to leave, Kevin's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going.
Kevin's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do?
Two days later the six get to the camping site only to find Kevin sitting there with his gear set up, firewood gathered, and dinner cooking on the stove.
"Dang man, how long you been here, and how did you talk Melissa into letting you go?"
"Well, I've been here since yesterday. Yesterday evening, I was sitting in my chair at home and Melissa came up behind me and put her hands over my eyes and said, 'guess who?' I pulled her hands off, and she was wearing a brand new nightie.
She took my hand and pulled me to our bedroom. The room had candles and rose petals all over. On the bed she had handcuffs, and ropes! She told me to tie and cuff her to the bed, and I did. And then she said, "Do whatever you want."
So, here I am.
Strength vs. Intelligence
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of John, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, John had enough.
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is?" he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back."
"You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "It's a bet! Let's see what you got."
John reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in."
"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."
Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.
Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" and some people say, "oh my god, he *did?*" People always say something.
And then *you* say, "he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story."
And you leave it there.
And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.
And you'll eventually be asked, "what's a golf gun?"
To which you say, "don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"
Someone told me recently that the healthcare.gov website was built by a Canadian company.
I guess that explains why the site is constantly freezing.
A black man starts work on a construction site in Liverpool.
The other workers nickname him "w**...".
Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him, "But we all have nicknames. We've got m**... and p**..., they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mack from Scotland".
The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men, "m**..., Mack, p**..., Wac leave the w**... alone!"
Beethoven
Beethoven dies and is buried. A few days after his burial the locals notice strange
music coming from the burial site. Alarmed, the villagers get the local priest and head
down to the graveyard. And sure enough the sound was coming from Beethoven's grave.
The locals watch as the priest places the side of his head onto the ground.
Deep in concentration he mutters: "Fifth symphony......fourth symphony....third...aha! Beethoven is decomposing!"
A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, "You smell good, What do you have on?"
The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."
There once was a boy named "Odd."
People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."
Paid a visit to 'www.conjunctivitis.com' earlier...
Believe me, it's a site for sore eyes.
I found an plot of soil yesterday. I went back to the site today and found even more soil...
The plot thickens...
Amazon Asked Me to Write a Review
Amazon asked for feedback on the used telescope I bought from their site.
I was honest with my review: "This telescope s**.... Two Stars."
A nun hears overhears a bunch of construction workers swearing and decides to head over there for lunch one day...
The nun sits down at the lunch table with her little sack lunch and turns to a group of workers and says:
"Have any of you ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
One worker stands up and yells to everyone on the site: "Hey! Has anyone here ever heard of Jesus Christ?"
Another worker shouts back: "Why?"
The first worker says: "Because his mom's here with his lunch!"
It's the final day of the annual pirate convention, and the debate over the site of next years convention begins...
One pirate says, "how about ARRRbys!", many pirates nod in agreement.
Another pirate says, "how about ARRRkansas", even more pirates are pleased at that suggestion.
A third pirate says, "how about Boston!", a confused murmur spreads across the room, "stay with me here" says the pirate, "so we can pARRRk ARRRR cARRR in the hARRRRvard yARRRd!"
Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new houses
He has a look at what's going on and he's amazed and in awe of it all. He rushes home as fast as he can. He runs in and shouts ''Dad, dad, can we play builders?'' His dad says ''Sure Johnny''
Johnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts ''Oi, get them bricks up here now you c**...''
I was suffering from pinkeye for a long time until I found www.curing-conjunctivitis.com
It was a site for sore eyes
"When one door closes, another opens", he said.
"That's all well and good", I replied, "but until you fix it I'm not buying the car."
Unfortunately, the site I got this joke from many months ago is now down so I can't give them the credit it deserve. But here's a different site with it anyway...
A man walks into the head office of a click-bait news site...
...what happens next will shock you!!!
Two Police officers.
Two police officers c**... their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says:
Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site.
Conjunctivitis. com
That's a site for sore eyes.
I just found out that Archeologist were recently digging in the Pyramids of Egypt and found a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts.
Experts on site identified the mummy as Pharaoh Roche.
Thankfully, someone created an online resource for everyone who suffered retinal damage watching the solar eclipse.
It truly is a site for sore eyes.
I'm so glad I stumbled across that optometrist's webpage...
...it was a site for sore eyes.
Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price
I learned this on a price comparison site.
I just tried changing my password to Beefstew1
But the site said that it was not stroganoff.
An Alabaman is finding his ancestry on a website, but can't get to their site...
Getting frustrated, he calls his wife over.
Sighing, she says, "It starts with an A, not an I, bro."
Blonde in a field.
A blonde woman is driving down a road when she sees another blonde in the middle of a field and she appears to be swimming. Angry at the site, the blonde driver slams on the brakes, hops out of the car and screams "YOU KNOW, IT IS BLONDES LIKE YOU THAT GIVE BLONDES LIKE ME A BAD NAME!!" The blonde in the field replies "Yeah, well why don't you come out here and do something about it?" The blonde driver replies "I WOULD BUT I CAN'T SWIM!"
If you get an email saying "click this link to hear Nickelback's new album for free" DO NOT CLICK IT
It will take you directly to a site where you can hear Nickelback's new album for free.
A man worked at construction site...
...and is brought to emergency room with concussion and skull fracture.
His wife, furious, comes to hospital.
"What happened?!"
"Well, I asked John to throw me the hammer..."
"And then what?! You didn't catch it?"
"In matter of fact *I did*. But then I remembered we have 3 guys named John working on our site..."
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I genuinely just copied and pasted this off the weight watchers website
A worker was suspected of stealing
Every day the security guys would check his wheelbarrow when he was leaving the factory site. They never found anything. It took them weeks to realize that he was stealing wheelbarrows.
Did you hear that they make a webpage for people who suffer from chronic eye pain?
It's a site for sore eyes.
A police officer was answering questions of a reporter at an accident site.
Officer: "I want your news report to mention that how useful a helmet can be. This person fell in a 30ft pit while riding a bike at 100mph, still there not a single scratch on his face because he was wearing a helmet."
Report: "Wow! That's just miraculous. Can we get an interview with that person?"
Officer: "Well, I'm afraid, not. We haven't found the rest of the body yet."
What is Captain Hook's least favorite social media site?
TikTok!
TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor
At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.
Boss shows up at a job site
Boss: "Bob where were you I've been looking for you since morning!!!!! It's lunch time already!!!!"
Bob: "Boss, a good employee is hard to find."
i heard on the news that some message board site is bankrupting wall street billionaires
"reddit?"
no i said i HEARD it
When I die
I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.
In a Dating Site profile: "Looking for love and chemistry."
Doesn't quite have the same ring as: "Looking for h**... and drugs."
Light bulb
p**... and John are working on a building site. p**... says to John, I need a day off, I'm going to pretend I've gone mad!
p**... climbs up to the rafters, hangs upside down from them and shouts, I'm a light bulb! I'm a light bulb! While John looks on in amazement.
The foreman shouts, p**... go home, you've gone mad!
As p**... packs his kit, the foreman sees John packing his kit as well.
Foreman says, John where do you think you're going?!
John says, Well I'm not working in the friggen dark!
I found a good website for conjunctivitis.
It's a site for sore eyes.
A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar
The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street."
The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!"
The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"
A small airplane crashes into the ground in a small town, and some curious locals go to the c**... site to see what happened.
Some of the locals start digging to see if there are any survivors trapped in the plane.
A few hours in, they give up the search and one of the locals goes back to his house and tells his wife what happened.
He tells his wife that there were over 1000 bodies found in the c**... site, but no survivors were found.
Oh my god, where did it c**...? the wife asked in shock.
In the town cemetery. the husband replied.
Almost immediately after making my first joke here, I got a brand new follower!
I was very excited, so I went to their profile. I think they're a new account, they only have one post, and when I clicked on the link in the post, it took me to a site that immediately asked if I was over 18
I guess my joke was a little immature, sure, but there's gotta be nicer ways of saying it
An engineer and a machinist are tasked with drilling a hole into a the deck of a ship.
They arrive on site, the engineer confirms the position of the hole, the machinist starts drilling. Before they reach the required depth, oil starts spewing out the flutes of the drill bit -- they've drilled into the oil tank.
"How're we gonna explain this to the boss?" -- asks the machinist.
"Look, buddy, I have no idea what *we* are gonna do, but what *I'm* gonna do is move that hole 5 inches to the left on the blueprint."
A dog is looking for work...
He stumbles across an open construction site with a hiring sign.
The dog goes to the foreman and says he's willing to work and can start immediately. The foreman asks the dog if he has any experience with carpentry and construction.
The dog replies, "Some; I've got a lot of experience with *woofing*!"
Who works for an online site that's worth billions for free?
A Reddit Moderator
It's my cake day but I don't Reddit for karma. I Reddit for love.
So somebody please love me so I can get off this awful site.
A woman calls customer service..
"Hi, I bought a maternity dress through your site and I want to cancel the order." she says.
The service rep says, "Sure, I can do that for you.. but I'd also like to get your feedback; may I ask why?"
"Yeah," says the customer. "My delivery was faster than yours was."
A rookie carpenter is on his first day of a new job...
The foreman greets him at the job site and tells him his first task will be to nail some sheathing on a roof. The rookie grabs a hammer and nails and gets to work.
The foreman watches the rookie work for a while, and when he's finished he calls him over. The foreman says, "I think your nickname in this jobsite will be 'lightning'." The rookies face lit up, and he asked, "Why's that? Am I faster than everybody else?"
The foreman shakes his head and says, "No, it's because you never strike twice in the same place ."
I bet you $20 that you won't be able to push the same thing back in my wheelbarrow.
Two workers - one big and strong, the other small and weak - are on a building site.
The small chap says "I bet you $20 that I can push something to the end of the yard in my wheelbarrow and you won't be able to push the same thing back."
"You're on," says the big guy.
"Righto," says the small fellow, "Jump in."
An Irishman goes for a labouring job on a building site
The foreman thinks to himself "I'll catch this thick p**... out" and asks the Irishman "what's the difference between a joist and a girder?"
The Irishman thinks for a second and replies "well, you see sir, Joyce wrote Ulysses while Goethe wrote Faust".
\>note, this works best as an o**... joke as u may have gathered.
My wife told me she's had it with me talking like I'm the editor of a clickbait news site.
You won't believe what happened next.
