Giggle-Inducing Sister Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
"Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?"
"Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan"
Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?"
Father: "Ask your sister.
Daughter: "I don't have a si-"
My wife texted "I'm leaving you"
And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."
Do you believe in abortion?
Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?
Father: Ask your sister.
Girl: I don't have a sister...
Father: Exactly.
My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
"Dad, i'm a lesbian."
Confesses the daughter.
Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen "Me too dad."
"g**..." Exclaims the father. "Will one of you bring a man to this house!?"
"I will, Dad." Says the son from his room.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
My severely diabetic sister.
My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...
My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car
My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?"
My mom answered "Who?"
"Your daughter"
courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago
"Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively...
"Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
How did the r**... find his sister in the woods?
Attractive.
You can explore sister granddaughter reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sister auntie dad jokes. There are also sister puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Your mom joke, but clever
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a v**...."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a v**... until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Gay Marriage Licenses
So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.
I don't have s**... with my sister because it's unacceptable and g**....
I have s**... with her because it's k**....
"Dad, why is my sister called Paris?"
"Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat."
My city is holding their annual i**... competition...
I've entered my sister...
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
What's baked every day and sells itself?
My sister.
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
My dad was always drunk when I was a kid
The punchline?
It was my mom, then my sister, then me
Two sisters
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week..
I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot..
Turns out her sister had it all along.
I finally found my wife's g**...!
Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there n**... on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister".
Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...
But not my Sister.
Two kids were talking...
Kid 1: I bet you're a v**...
Kid 2: I was a v**..., until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
My sister sat on my glasses and broke them...
I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister
It tastes the same but it's just not right.
I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995.
When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!"
Then my sister left.
Gay parents are awesome!
* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"
My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.
you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta
Found my wife's G Spot lastnight!
Turns out her sister had it the whole time!
My sister asked me to remove her clothes.
So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt."Take off my shoes."
I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and p**...."
and so I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
A girl realizes that she has grown hair between her legs
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room
Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."
How did the r**... find his sister in the tall grass?
Quite satisfying
There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying
I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up.
Which sister? is not the correct answer.
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
I caught my sister m**... with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....
When i was 17, my sister caught me m**......
She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
A few days later, I caught her m**.... She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa?
Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan.
I finally found my girlfriend's g**.........
Her sister had it!
My wife keeps using the old 'men can't multitask' stereotype..
So i said that's a lie.. I can make love to you AND think of your sister at the same time
I was raised as an only child
which really annoyed my sister
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the g**....
Turns out her sister had it all along...
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother..
We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.
Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes.
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly
They call her 'Cagey B'
Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes
But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.
Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."
"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."
My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it
Post office
It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or
When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child
My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion
So I threw a coconut at her
My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a Boris is doing his best t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she's been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!
I'm curious to see what happens when she goes outside.
2 nuns are in a car at a stop light in Transylvania when a vampire blocks their car...
One nun says to the other Quick sister, show him your cross!
The other nun rolls down the window and yells Get the b**... h**... out of middle of the road a**...!
I have the worst parents ever. I asked them how they felt on abortion, and they told me to ask my sister.
Not only did they not give a straight answer, I don't even have a sister.
Man 1: I have a half sister. Man 2: Different father?
Man 1: No, shark attack.
Karl Marx is a historically famous figure…
But nobody ever mentions his sister, Onya, who invented the starter p**....
What do you feed a hungry robot?
Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister
What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama?
You're like a sister to me.
Richard Marx was a famous singer in the 80s
But did you know his sister, Onya, invented the starter p**...?
A soldier is running from the military police.
Just in time he sees a Nun and asks if he can hide under her dress explaining that he doesn't want to get sent to Afghanistan. She agrees and he is able to outwit the MP. When he crawls out he says you have a really nice pair of legs sister. The Nun says, yeah and if you had looked up, you'd have seen that I have a really nice pair or b**... too, I don't want to go to Afghanistan either.
One Christmas, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus saying, Please send me a sister.
Santa Claus wrote him back, OK, please send me your mother.
Pros of my high school years: I graduated top of my class, was voted prom king, and hooked up with the hottest girl in my grade.
Cons of my high school years: my twin sister and I were homeschooled.
My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke.
I said: Sure.
She said: Me too!
An elementary school teacher was meeting her new class
She pointed to one student and asked "What does your father do for a living?"
The boy said "My father's a magician! He has a new act that ends with sawing people in half."
"That's wonderful!" said the teacher. "And do you have any siblings?"
"Yes," said the boy- "I have a half brother and a half sister."
What's the healthier, sister version of a dad bod?
An auntie-body.
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
A Jewish guy goes into a confession box.
Father O'Malley, he says, my name is Emil Cohen. I'm seventy-eight years old. Believe it or not, I'm currently involved with a twenty-eight-year-old girl, and also, on the side, her nineteen-year-old sister. We engage in all manner of pleasure, and in my entire life I've never felt better.
My good man, says the priest, I think you've come to the wrong place. Why are you telling me?
And the guy goes: I'm telling everybody!
