Sister Jokes
170 sister jokes and hilarious sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these funny sister jokes! With jokes about sisters in law, sister birthdays, brother-sister relationships, and more, these jokes are perfect for any family gathering. Enjoy them with your brother, uncle, and granddaughters alike.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Sister Short Jokes
Short sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sister humour may include short brother jokes also.
- Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
- "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan" - My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
- Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister.
daughter: "I don't have a si-" - Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
- Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister It tastes the same but it's just not right.
- Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly They call her 'Cagey B'
- Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan
Share These Sister Jokes With Friends
Sister One Liners
Which sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sister? I can suggest the ones about niece and aunt.
- I was raised as an only child which really annoyed my sister
- Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
- Man 1: I have a half sister. Man 2: Different father? Man 1: No, shark attack.
- Found my wife's G Spot lastnight! Turns out her sister had it the whole time!
- What do you feed a hungry robot? Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister - What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister.
- What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama? You're like a sister to me.
- I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
- My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. I said: Sure.
She said: Me too! - What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
Credit to my sister - What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised
- I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap.
- My sister asked me if I was gay I couldn't give her a straight answer.
- I asked my Dad, "Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?" "Your mom's sister."
Your Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny your sister jokes and even better your sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child
- There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
- My dad was always drunk when I was a kid The punchline?
It was my mom, then my sister, then me - My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
"Your daughter"
courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago - Son: Dad, why is my sister named Teresa? Dad: She's named after something your mother loves, Easter! It's an anagram.
Son: Thanks dad.
Dad: No problem Alan. - "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat." - I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
- I have the worst parents ever. I asked them how they felt on abortion, and they told me to ask my sister. Not only did they not give a straight answer, I don't even have a sister.
- I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot..
Turns out her sister had it all along. - I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!"
Then my sister left.
Sister Brother Jokes
Here is a list of funny sister brother jokes and even better sister brother puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the Internet was a thing I asked my 17 brothers and sisters, and they didn't know either
- If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced… Are they still brother and sister?
- I've always wondered what my parents did for fun before the internet... So I asked my 27 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
- How did my parents combat boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
- Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
- I wondered what my parents did to pass time when they were younger. I asked my 19 brothers and sisters but they didn't know either.
- I wonder what my parents did before the internet I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either
- I've always wondered what parents used to do for fun before the internet. I'll go ask my twelve brothers and sisters.
- How did our grandparents killed time when there were no Smartphones and Internet? I already asked my mom, her four sisters and five brothers.
- I often wonder what my parents did to fill their time before the internet was invented... ...I've asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they don't know either...
Brother Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny brother sister jokes and even better brother sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Sister: Did my brother come from heaven? Mother: Yes.
Sister: Well, I don't blame the angels for chucking him out - Why don't robots have brothers? Because they only have trans-sisters
- I've always wondered what my parents did to ease boredom before the internet was invented My 19 brothers and sisters don't seem to know either.
- If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother... Is pesticide killing your sister?
- What did our parents do to kill time before the internet? I asked my 21 brothers and sisters and they had no clue either.
- What did our parents do when they were bored back in the days before the internet or video games? I asked this question to my 24 brothers and sisters too...
- A sister got a PS5 for her younger brother on Rakhi.
Best trade ever!
- I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet? I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they don't know either.
- A new law recently passed in Arkansas. When a man and woman are divorced, they can still be brother and sister.
- What happens when a brother thinks he is ugly?
After that, he thinks of his sister and feels better.
Brother And Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny brother and sister jokes and even better brother and sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was wondering what my parents did for fun before the internet I had no idea and neither did any of my 27 brothers and sisters
- My parents just told me they'd love another child. I said, I'd love a little brother or sister! They said, That's not what we meant.
- Why did a brother tell a sister to go sit in the middle of the highway? Because that's where accidents belong.
- I wondered what my parents did to kill boredom before the internet. I mean, I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and none of them had a clue.
- What did our parents do when they were bored with no internet? I asked my 18 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
- I found my brother in bed with my girlfriend yesterday. I couldn't believe it and I had to get my revenge. So I shagged his sister.
- I asked my parents how they coped with boredom before the internet It turns out my 18 brothers and sisters don't know either
- Robots don't have brothers... They have tran-sisters.
- AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:
If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister? - My sister-in-law said her friend was studying abroad... My brother quickly replied, "what's her name?"
Sister In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny sister in law jokes and even better sister in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
- Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
- My sister-in-law has step-children and that's awful, why won't she use regular stairs like everyone else
- A German man was hitting on my sister-in-law... I told her "He wants to put his wiener in your schnitzel."
She replied "Not happening, I guess he'll be stroganoff." - A man gets married. Now, he has a father-in-law, a mother-in-law, a bother-in-law, a sister-in-law. And the wife? She is the law.
- What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer? A sister in law
- My sister in law got the covid vaccine yesterday. Her 5g reception has never been better
- What do you call a Nun that's also a lawyer? Sister in law
- My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters She's the new Miss Stake.
- What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam? A sister-in-law
Giggle-Inducing Sister Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about sister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean older brother jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sister pranks.
My wife texted "I'm leaving you"
And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair" the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .
Do you believe in abortion?
Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?
Father: Ask your sister.
Girl: I don't have a sister...
Father: Exactly.
My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
Do these jeans make me look fat?
wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister
"Dad, i'm a lesbian."
Confesses the daughter.
Her younger sister shouts from the kitchen "Me too dad."
"g**..." Exclaims the father. "Will one of you bring a man to this house!?"
"I will, Dad." Says the son from his room.
What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot...
Mitosis
My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...
My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car
What does alcohol free beer taste like?
Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
"Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively...
"Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
There were two sisters
There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".
How did the r**... find his sister in the woods?
Attractive.
Will you get mad?
Wife: *Honey, do I look fat in this dress?*
Husband: *Will you get mad if I tell you the truth?*
Wife: *No, silly. Of course not*
Husband: *I slept with your sister*
I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!
to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on
Your mom joke, but clever
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a v**...."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a v**... until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles
Straight until you get them wet.
Gay Marriage Licenses
So, 22 counties in Alabama are refusing to issue gay marriage licenses on the grounds that they believe in the traditional marriage of a man and his sister.
I don't have s**... with my sister because it's unacceptable and g**....
I have s**... with her because it's k**....
My city is holding their annual i**... competition...
I've entered my sister...
I accidentally called out my mums name during s**...
and my sister hasn't talked to me since.
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
Two sisters
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
I finally found my wife's g**...!
Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there n**... on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister".
Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...
But not my Sister.
Two kids were talking...
Kid 1: I bet you're a v**...
Kid 2: I was a v**..., until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
"But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well? Won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"
My sister sat on my glasses and broke them...
I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first
My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti.
you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta
My sister asked me to remove her clothes.
So I took off her shirt.
Then she said, "Take off my skirt."
I took off her skirt."Take off my shoes."
I took off her shoes.
"Now take off my bra and p**...."
and so I took them off.
Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
There's an i**... competition in my town this weekend.
I'm going to enter my sister.
A girl realizes that she has grown hair between her legs
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room
Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."
How did the r**... find his sister in the tall grass?
Quite satisfying
My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: 'You're on drugs again!!!' She could be right..
I'm an only child.
My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up.
Which sister? is not the correct answer.
My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her.
Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
My sister made me some coffee today
Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis
Her: It was good?
Me: I just said it was average.
I caught my sister m**... with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....
Son: "Dad why was my sister named Madonna?"
Father: "Because your mother always thought the world needed another Madonna"
Son: "Thanks, dad."
Father: "No problem, Holocaust."
When i was 17, my sister caught me m**......
She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
A few days later, I caught her m**.... She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's f**.... Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..
I got off on the wrong foot.
I finally found my girlfriend's g**.........
Her sister had it!
My wife keeps using the old 'men can't multitask' stereotype..
So i said that's a lie.. I can make love to you AND think of your sister at the same time
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the g**....
Turns out her sister had it all along...
My mother died a few years ago. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea!
"I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. "Get me a Sharpie!"
My sister, looked at me confused, "Why?"
I pointed to the border of the certificate, "It says 'void if altered'!"
(This actually happened and my sister didn't find it very funny. But we each deal with grief our own ways...)
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident.
He really loved that woman.
My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother..
We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
My Sister always got bullied at school for being adopted.
Homeschooling for us was fun though
Two Texans are sitting in a small town bar, where one bragged to the other: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except my mother and my sister."
"Well," his buddy replied, "between you and me we got 'em all."
My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion
So I threw a coconut at her
