Sister Jokes
170 sister jokes and hilarious sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh out loud with these funny sister jokes! With jokes about sisters in law, sister birthdays, brother-sister relationships, and more, these jokes are perfect for any family gathering. Enjoy them with your brother, uncle, and granddaughters alike.
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Funniest Sister Short Jokes
Short sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sister humour may include short brother jokes also.
- Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
- My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
- Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister.
daughter: "I don't have a si-" - Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly They call her 'Cagey B'
- Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan - It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child
- There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
- My dad was always drunk when I was a kid The punchline?
It was my mom, then my sister, then me
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Sister One Liners
Which sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sister? I can suggest the ones about niece and aunt.
- I was raised as an only child which really annoyed my sister
- Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
- Man 1: I have a half sister. Man 2: Different father? Man 1: No, shark attack.
- What do you feed a hungry robot? Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister - What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister.
- What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama? You're like a sister to me.
- I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
- My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. I said: Sure.
She said: Me too! - What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
- What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised
- I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap.
- My sister asked me if I was gay I couldn't give her a straight answer.
- I asked my Dad, "Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?" "Your mom's sister."
- My sister said I'm being immature. I guess she isn't getting her nose back
Your Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny your sister jokes and even better your sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?" My mom answered "Who?"
"Your daughter"
courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago - "Dad, why is my sister called Paris?" "Because we conceived her in Paris."
"Ahh, thanks Dad! "
"You're welcome, Backseat." - I recently discovered I can move my sister's daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons. I think I have telekinieces.
- I have the worst parents ever. I asked them how they felt on abortion, and they told me to ask my sister. Not only did they not give a straight answer, I don't even have a sister.
- I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week.. I've been married to my wife for 20 years this week and I've finally found the G Spot..
Turns out her sister had it all along. - I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!"
Then my sister left. - My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. you should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta
- My sisters and I met yesterday to discuss whether or not to bury or cremate our mother.. We couldn't come to a decision between the two so we are letting her live for now.
- My sister bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face as I drove pasta
- "Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively... "Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
Brother And Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny brother and sister jokes and even better brother and sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If a man and a woman get married in Tennessee then move to Texas and get divorced… Are they still brother and sister?
- Teacher - how did our grandparents kill time without smartphones or internet ? Student- I've already asked this question to my mum, her 5 brothers and 7 sisters !!
- Sister: Did my brother come from heaven? Mother: Yes.
Sister: Well, I don't blame the angels for chucking him out - If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother... Is pesticide killing your sister?
- A sister got a PS5 for her younger brother on Rakhi.
Best trade ever!
- A new law recently passed in Arkansas. When a man and woman are divorced, they can still be brother and sister.
- What happens when a brother thinks he is ugly?
After that, he thinks of his sister and feels better.
- Robots don't have brothers... They have tran-sisters.
- AMA Request: Kim Davis. I would like to hear her answer this question, for she seems uniquely qualified to do so:
If a man and woman from Kentucky get a divorce, are they still brother and sister? - My sister-in-law said her friend was studying abroad... My brother quickly replied, "what's her name?"
Little Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny little sister jokes and even better little sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My little sister's cat died... ...she cried telling me she needs another identical one. I got her one today, but i don't know why she needs another dead cat.
- I called my boss this morning and told him i was sick. "Just how sick are you?" he said.
"well im in bed with my little sister, is that sick enough" - What do little sisters love to ride? A nissan.
- A joke my little sister thought of today A blue man lives in the blue house, a purple man lives in the purple house, a red man lives in the red house, who lives in the white house?
An orange man. - A little boy says to his sister: "Guess what sis, I have two Blow Pops!" Sister: "Oh thank God, that means he won't make me do it tonight."
- What do you call a funny hill? Hilarious ...
My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all. :| - What does a little sister ride? A Niisan.
- I once told story about pregnancy that nobody understood except for my twin sister It was our little inside joke
- What's the difference between my house and my little sister? I don't use the back door when entering my house.
- When i was little i wanted to be a babysitter but then i got a baby sister.
Crying Sister Jokes
Here is a list of funny crying sister jokes and even better crying sister puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My 8 year old sister's joke: There were 12 fish in a pond. One of the dies. Why did the water level in the pond rise? -Because the other fish were crying.
- My sister thought she was soo smart, she said the only vegetable/fruit that can make her cry is a onion So I threw a coconut at her
- .. my sister told me onions are the only vegetable that make you cry ...so I threw a pumpkin at her head. She soon changed her mind
- What do you say to your sister when she's crying? Are you having a crisis?
- My sister suddenly started sobbing talking about her job prospects with a philosophy degree. I said, Are you having an existential cry, sis?
- Your sister won't stop crying? You've got yourself a crisis
- My sister graduated from college over a year ago and is still unemployed... I found her sobbing on the couch so I asked, "having an existential cry, sis?"
- One day my sister was crying You could really call it a crisis
- What did the brother do when his sister said that the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry?
He threw a carrot at her.
- Did you see the Alabama football player who proposed after he won the national championship last night? His sister started crying and could barely give him a clear answer
Sister In Law Jokes
Here is a list of funny sister in law jokes and even better sister in law puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
- Did you hear about the infamous bank robbers in the old wild west? One of them married the other one's sister. They were both outlaws and in-laws.
- My sister-in-law has step-children and that's awful, why won't she use regular stairs like everyone else
- A man gets married. Now, he has a father-in-law, a mother-in-law, a bother-in-law, a sister-in-law. And the wife? She is the law.
- What do you call a nun who has become a lawyer? A sister in law
- My sister in law got the covid vaccine yesterday. Her 5g reception has never been better
- My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters She's the new Miss Stake.
- I was with my brother and sister-in-law
- I started a company.. ...with my wife. Then my sister in law joined us, now it's a crowd.
- My sister-in-law had a miscarriage Does that raise or lower her kill-death ratio?
Giggle-Inducing Sister Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about sister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean older brother jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sister pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife texted "I'm leaving you"
And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny Has A Question
A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.
His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000."
So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well."
The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.
"She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad.
The boy looked at his father, puzzled.
He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of w**...!"
Jake's final conversation
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
Do these jeans make me look fat?
wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister
ANOTHER nun sat outside a bar in Ireland...
Sipping from a bottle of whiskey, and quite inebriated, when the local Gard walks past.
"Sister Mary", he asks "what in God's name are you doing?!"
"Not to worry, sergeant. I'm trying to *hic* cure the Mother Superior's constipation."
"And how is you being in this state going to help the Mother Superior with her constipation exactly?!"
"Cos when she sees me like this", Sister Mary replied, "she'll be shittin a brick!"
What did the biologist's sister say to her sister after she dropped a beaker on her foot...
Mitosis
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does alcohol free beer taste like?
Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the r**... find his sister in the woods?
Attractive.
Will you get mad?
Wife: *Honey, do I look fat in this dress?*
Husband: *Will you get mad if I tell you the truth?*
Wife: *No, silly. Of course not*
Husband: *I slept with your sister*
I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!
to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy wants to know the difference between hypothetically and realistically
His father says, "Go ask your mother and sister if they would have s**... with somebody for a million dollars."
The boy returns and tells his father they both said yes.
"Well son hypothetically we're sitting on two million dollars, realistically we're living with a couple of w**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Non-alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister.
It tastes the same but it's still wrong.
My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles
Straight until you get them wet.
A man, his sister and his wife walk into the voting booth to vote for Donald Trump.
They've both given it a lot of thought.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't have s**... with my sister because it's unacceptable and g**....
I have s**... with her because it's k**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My city is holding their annual i**... competition...
I've entered my sister...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I accidentally called out my mums name during s**...
and my sister hasn't talked to me since.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man comes home from work...
A man comes home from work and he finds his wife furious at him.
She screams "Why did you sleep with my sister while you were at work!?"
He replies "Well she was lying on the table, n**..., and you know she's an attractive woman, so what did you expect me to do?"
"Perform the autopsy."
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
My sister is a theater teacher and asked her class, "What would the world be like without theater?"
One of her students replied, "Well, Abraham Lincoln would've lived a bit longer."
Two sisters
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little kid walks into his parents' bedroom while they're having s**...
The little boy asked, "What are you doing?"
His mother explains, "Your dad was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out."
The boy says, "That's really funny. Whenever you go out for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man cheats with his wife's sister
Man: Calm down! You haven't heard my side of the story!
Wife: You slept with my sister!
Man: When i got to work she was just laying there n**... on my table! What was I supposed to do?!
Wife: The autopsy!
PS: Didnt make this up
A boy wrote Santa: "please send me a sister".
Santa wrote back: "Alright, send me your mother".
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and o**...
But not my Sister.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two kids were talking...
Kid 1: I bet you're a v**...
Kid 2: I was a v**..., until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
A man was bragging about his sister who disguised herself as a man and joined the Army.
"But wait a minute," said the listener, "She'll have to dress with the boys and shower with them too, won't she?"
"Sure," replied the man.
"Well? Won't they find out?"
"And who's gonna tell?"
My sister sat on my glasses and broke them...
I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister
It tastes the same but it's just not right.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Found my wife's G Spot lastnight!
Turns out her sister had it the whole time!
My sister is moaning and screaming in her bedroom because she is sick.
I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate the reasons girls come up with to avoid s**...
"I'm tired, I've had a long day, I have a headache, I'm your sister"....
A girl realizes that she has grown hair between her legs
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room
Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How did the r**... find his sister in the tall grass?
Quite satisfying
My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: 'You're on drugs again!!!' She could be right..
I'm an only child.
My wife once asked me if I would ever sleep with her sister if we split up.
Which sister? is not the correct answer.
My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her.
Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
My sister made me some coffee today
Me: You make a mean cup of coffee, sis
Her: It was good?
Me: I just said it was average.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I caught my sister m**... with a carrot
I was annoyed because I was gonna eat that later...
And now it's gonna taste like carrot....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son: "Dad why was my sister named Madonna?"
Father: "Because your mother always thought the world needed another Madonna"
Son: "Thanks, dad."
Father: "No problem, Holocaust."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When i was 17, my sister caught me m**......
She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
A few days later, I caught her m**.... She called me a "SICK PERVERT!" and slammed the door.
I saw my sister on Tinder.
Can't believe she's cheating on me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wanted to show appreciation to my new girlfriend's f**.... Little did I know the woman in the bed was her sister..
I got off on the wrong foot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife keeps using the old 'men can't multitask' stereotype..
So i said that's a lie.. I can make love to you AND think of your sister at the same time
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman who was married six times had just died.
During the f**... service, the pastor heard her sister say "I'm so glad they are finally together!"
The pastor replies "Which husband are you referring to?"
"None of them. I was talking about her legs."
My dad just called a family meeting.
Me, mum, my two brothers, my sister and grandma hurried into the living room and gathered round an IKEA box laying on the floor.
"Dad, it's some flat pack furniture, what do you need the whole family for?" I asked.
"Well, it must be these strange Swedish customs", he replies, "It says assembly required".
Dad, why did you and mom choose this name?
"You see Blue, its the anagram of something your mom loves as much as you"
And why is my sister called Lana ?
"For the same reason."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Wife: I cannot believe you had s**... with my sister!
Husband: I walked in the room and she was lying there n**...! What was I supposed to do?
Wife: The Autopsy!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the g**....
Turns out her sister had it all along...
My mother died a few years ago. I recently came across her death certificate and had a brilliant idea!
"I know how we can bring mom back!" I exclaimed. "Get me a Sharpie!"
My sister, looked at me confused, "Why?"
I pointed to the border of the certificate, "It says 'void if altered'!"
(This actually happened and my sister didn't find it very funny. But we each deal with grief our own ways...)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
My friend in Alabama lost his Mom, his Sister, and his Wife in a car accident.
He really loved that woman.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting p**....
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.
Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
A nun is walking to church.
As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes"
