Sips Jokes

34 sips jokes and hilarious sips puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sips that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Sips Short Jokes

Short sips jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sips humour may include short sipping jokes also.

  1. My wife walks into the kitchen Me: it sure is muggy outside
    Wife: if you put all the mugs on the porch I'm leaving you
    *Sips coffee out of bowl*
  2. I asked my date if she'd ever done drugs. "No," she said, taking a sip of her water.
    I said, "Well, you have now."
  3. Me: "Gee honey, it sure is muggy out today!" Her: "If I walk outside and all of our mugs are on the front porch, I'm leaving you."
    Me: *sips coffee from a bowl*
  4. Me to Wife: "Boy, it sure is muggy outside." Wife: "If I go outside and all of our mugs are sitting on the front porch, we're getting a divorce."
    Me: *quietly sips coffee from a bowl.*
  5. A couple is sitting on the porch sipping wine... The wife says, I love you.
    The husband says, Is that you or the wine talking?
    The wife replies, It's me, talking to the wine.
  6. My girlfriend: "Did you forget to turn on the dishwasher?" Me: *sipping coffe from a vase*
    "No, why?"
  7. Why did mark zuckerberg only need a sip of water? Zucculents are excellent at storing water and can thrive in arid climates.
  8. Today convinced me that society isn't deteriorating as much as we think. I was on the bus at 6am and this really generous guy offered me a sip from his half-empty whiskey bottle.
  9. Me : *sips wine* ooh thats good. I'd like a bottle of that please. Priest : Ma'am, that's not how this works, please go back to your pew.
  10. What a modern day thing you think will kill a victorian era child? I think a single sip of Four Loko wipe them out !

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Sips One Liners

Which sips one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sips? I can suggest the ones about sits and sodas.

  1. Wife: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas Me: *sipping toast* why?
  2. I like my women how I like my coffee *Sips tea*
  3. A British man takes a sip of his coffee. And says, This not my cup of tea.
  4. I like my men like I like my coffee *sips tea*
  5. I had a sip of the Milky Way galaxy. It turns out I'm galactose intolerant.
  6. How did the hipster burn his mouth? He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
  7. I took a sip of what appears to be some sort of poisonous ink... I dyed a little inside..
  8. Take a sip of a friend's Coke and say, Oh yeah, I have monkeypox. That means free Coke!
  9. So I just overheard my mom ask my dad for a sip of wine. His response: Ok, Mississippi.
  10. How does Bill Cosby fall asleep at night?? Take's a sip of her drink!
  11. How many sips till the surgeon finishes his coffee? Four. Four sips.
  12. A man was in a cafe He took one sip of the coffee, and grimaced.
  13. What is white and leaning on a tree? A sip of milk.
  14. What did the blind man say when he sipped a frozen drink and was cured? "Icee."
  15. SipXecs - I don't always SipX But when I do, I sip Dos Equis

Sips joke, SipXecs - I don't always SipX

Comical & Quirky Sips Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about sips you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snip jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sips pranks.

Four Catholic women are talking about their sons while having coffee together

The first woman says My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Father.'
The second says My sons is a bishop. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Grace.'
The third says My son is a Cardinal. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth just quietly sips her coffee, and the other three give her a well, what about you? type look.
The fourth woman finally says My son is a handsome, 7-foot-tall firefighter. When he walks into a room, everyone says 'Oh. My. God.'

Four catholic ladies are talking about how important there sons are. (Long)

The first one tells her friends my son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, while my son is a bishop, when he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence.'
The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her a subtle well.....?
She replies, My son is a charismatic, 6'2 , hard-bodied male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, My God.

A man walks into a bar

A man walks in a bar and orders a beer. After taking a few sips, he notices a gorilla in the corner. He asks hey what's with the gorilla?
The bartender says watch this. He walks up to the gorilla and smacks him in the head and the gorilla immediately drops down and gives him a b**....
The man shocked says, wow that's incredible!.
The bartender asks him if he'd like to try.
The man replies, yeah sure just dont hit me so hard!

A millionaire,a hard hat, and a cheapskate are at a bar.

When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then sips the new one.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly then quaffs the rest.
It's now the cheapskate's turn: He sticks his hand in the beer, grabs the fly, and shouts, "SPIT IT OUT! SPIT IT OUT!"

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing,

chewing and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, 'I think I'm gonna divorce my wife. She ain't spoke to me in over 2 months.'
Earl spits, sips his beer and says, 'Better think it over -women like that are hard to find.

A man travelling through Arizona stops at a small town and goes into a bar

He stands at the end of the bar and lights up a cigar. As he sips his drink, he stands there quietly blowing smoke rings.
After he's blown nine or ten smoke rings, an angry Indian comes up to him and says, "Listen buddy, if you don't stop calling me names, I'll smash your face in!"

A doctor and a lawyer met with an accident....

A doctor and a lawyer in 2 cars collide on a country road.
The lawyer seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepts and has a couple of generous sips and hands it back to the lawyer, who closes it and puts it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.
"Sure, after the police leave."

A vampire walks into a bar

He tells the bartender he wants a Shirley Temple. The bartender heads to the backroom and a few moments later, he comes out with his drink. The vampire sips his drink and quickly spits it out. "This isn't a Shirley Temple," he tells the bartender. "I can't help it, buddy," the bartender says. "She's been dead for eight years."

An old guy walks into a biker bar...

... And sits down next to the leader of the gang.
"Your mom is pretty hot, you know?".
The biker chief sips his beer, sighs...
"Just go home, dad.".

A couple of old guys sat at the bar...

Ernest pops up with a comment "George, when I was 20 years old and I had a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands!"
They sit in silence a few minutes, punctuated by the occasional sip.
Ernest says "When I was 35, I could bend it with one hand."
A few minutes later, he says "Now I can bend it with one finger!"
Another few sips and he says "George, how much stronger do you think I'm gonna get?"

The president of America, the president of Russia, and the Queen of England are playing cards.

Elizabeth the Second lays a full house and sips daintily upon a cup of tea. A Russian agent puts a finger to his ear momentarily and approaches the table with a sleek briefcase, which Putin opens to reveal a marvelous hand. Donald then smiles and shows five trump cards.

Me: It sure is muggy outside.

My wife: I swear to God, if I look outside and see all of our mugs on the lawn I'm divorcing you.
Me: *sips coffee from a bowl*

Sips joke, Me: It sure is muggy outside.