Following is our collection of Sinking Ship jokes which are very funny. There are some sinking ship capsize jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sinking ship unsinkable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
After 1 year, disgusted with what they did in the last year the women kill themselves.After another year, disgusted with what they did in the last year, the men bury them. After another year, disgusted with what they did in the last year the men dig them out.
They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"
The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
So a British boat is sunk by a U-boat during world war 2
the British in distress send out the message- Help! Help! we are sinking!
the German U-boat picks up the message and says- What are you sinking about?
you put it in the water
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?
The answer: AMERICA!!!
So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.
To which the German captain replies "vat are you sinking about...?"
A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.
The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:
-- Rabbi, what can be done?!
-- Do you still have the internet connection?
-- Yes!
-- Sell the ship!
Helsinki
You can explore sinking ship starboard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sinking ship ships dad jokes. There are also sinking ship puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the same side of the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."What's the matter, Darling?"
"Look, Love," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen".
Sinko de Mayo
You let it sink in.
ran into a storm and began to take on water quickly but by some miracle did not sink.
What saved the ship?
"flambuoyancy"
The American captain says "Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! I repeat, we are sinking!"
The German Coast Guard replies "Oh that's nice, what are you sinking about?"
... The captain gathered everyone and said "OK everyone, it looks like we are going down, does anyone know how to pray?" One of the ships crew members sitting in the back raises his hand and Hays "yes captain I know how to pray." The captain responds "OK well you start praying and everyone else put a life jacket on, we're short one jacket."
Another joke from my 95 year old grandpa.
As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision.
The rabbi says, "we must save the children!"
The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!"
Then the priest says, "do we really have time to screw the children?"
Just got a flare for it.
It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!"
George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!"
Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"
When the ship begins to sink. They are making their way to the life boats when they notice that there are a bunch of un-escorted kids standing there. The Baptist minster says to the others, "what about the children?"
The rabbi says,"fuck the children."
The catholic priest asks, "do we have time for that?"
By how fast it sinks.
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
He called out: "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward: "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
Good", said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short"
A storm was developing in the distance. As the storm raged, the captain realised the ship was sinking fast.
He called out loud, "Anyone here knows how to pray?"
A man proudly raised his hand and came forward, "Aye Captain, I know how to pray."
The Captain replied, "Great, you keep praying while the rest of us put our life jackets on.......we are short of one!"
Roby: 2 KMs.
oldman jumped into sea.
oldman : Now, which direction?
Roby: Downwards!
A dictatorship.
*sobs*
The people on the ship manage to escape on life boats. A woman comes to the captain and asks him: "How far is the closest land?"
The captain answers :"3 km."
The woman says after: "In which direction?", to which the captain replied :"Down"
So the sharks aren't hungry anymore.
So the men can plug the leak, sail away, and start better lives.
Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."
b) Helen Reddy is not associated with a sinking ship.
The Galley!
Everything but the kitchen sinks.
^(I warned you)
A rabbi, a priest, and an imam were on a ship. Suddenly, the ship hit a reef just under the water and started sinking. The rabbi said to the priest and imam, "We must save the children.!"
The imam had already run to the lifeboats, yelling "Screw the children!," to which the priest replied, "Do we have time?"
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle!..to the lobsters...in the ships kitchen.
They both need bailing out.
They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! WE ARE SINKING!"
A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. What are you sinking about?"
Were those peace times or war times, I cannot tell... either way it's funny :)
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
Quatro Cinco
The German coast guard station gets the message, RMS sea lion taking on water and we are sinking. A minute passes and they get a response....Vell, vat are you sinking about?
A ship is sinking, the captain turns to the people on the boat and asks, "does anyone here know how to pray?"
The priest on boards says he can pray.
Captain: "Ok priest, you pray. Everyone else will wear a life jacket. We are short of one."
Mayday, mayday, we are sinking!
The German coast guard responds: Hello, zhis is ze German coast guard, whaz are you zinking about?
It was the first day of an employee of the German boat central. After a while he received a emergency call from a British ship.
"We are sinking, i repeat, we are sinking!"
The German replied:
"What are you thinking about?"
An English ship was approaching the coast when suddenly they started taking on a lot of water. The captain decided to contact the coast guard for help.
**Captain**: Mayday Mayday, This is the English Pearl, we are sinking.
**German Coast Guard**: Sorry, may you please repeat?
**Captain**: This is the English Pearl and we are sinking.
After a few moments of silence...
**German Coast Guard**: What are you sinking about?
When you tell them you're sinking, they will just ask you what you are sinking about?
A ship loaded with blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint.
Both ships sink.
The Sailors were marooned.
There was a magician on a cruise ship. He started off having a good gig, until the captains parrot started spoiling the tricks after watching them over and over. One day the ship sinks. And the only two survivors are the magician and the parrot. After sitting in the row boat for a couple of days. The parrot asks "Alright. What did you do with the ship?"
A German coast guard is doing maintenance on the shores of the North Sea near France. They come upon an English ship which seems to be sinking.
The captain of the English ship shouts to the coast guard, "Mayday mayday, we're sinking!"
The German coast guard then replies, " What are you sinking about?"
They all jump into the life boats, but due to the weight, the life boats start sinking as well.
The doctor exclaims Save the children! And begins to jump out of the lifeboat.
The lawyer grabs the doctor and pulls him back stating Screw the children!
The priest says Do we have time?
German ship radios back in "What are you sinking about?"
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"
Ford says: What do we do?
Bush says: Man the lifeboats!
Reagan says: What lifeboats?
Carter says: Women and children first!
Nixon says: Screw the women!
Clinton says: You think we have time?
He let it sink in.
America.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sinking ship shipwreck jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sinking ship voyage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.