The Best 55 Sinking Ship Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Sinking Ship jokes. There are some sinking ship capsize jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these sinking ship unsinkable puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Sinking Ship Jokes and Puns
Atheism is a non-prophet organization
As the storm raged,the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
So he shouted out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
Just one guy stepped forward and said, "Aye, captain,I know how to pray."
"Good,"said the captain, "You pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short."
A ship sinks and 100 men and 2 women end up on a desert island
After 1 year, disgusted with what they did in the last year the women kill themselves.After another year, disgusted with what they did in the last year, the men bury them. After another year, disgusted with what they did in the last year the men dig them out.
Two Jewish banker escaped from that sinking Italian cruise ship
They were both clinging to a life preserver. One guy, knowing the other can't swim, says, " I'm going to try to swim to shore to get some help. Can you float alone?"
The second Jewish banker says, "how could you talk business at a time like this?"
A whale tale
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink. They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank. Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female "lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore." At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look", she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
British ship
So a British boat is sunk by a U-boat during world war 2
the British in distress send out the message- Help! Help! we are sinking!
the German U-boat picks up the message and says- What are you sinking about?
How do you sink a polish ship?
you put it in the water
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship...
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?
The answer: AMERICA!!!
Why does the Coast Guard have a 6 foot height requirement?
So when their ship sinks they can walk back to shore.
So a ship is sinking and the captain radios for help to a near by ship, which happens to have a German captain. He says, "Help! We're sinking, we're sinking!"
To which the German captain replies "vat are you sinking about...?"
A ship is sinking in the middle of Atlantic...
A ship is going down in the middle of Atlantic. There's no hope, the captain is desperate, and suddenly someone tells him that among the passengers, there's a rabbi who can perform miracles.
The rabbi is immediately brought to the captain, and he implores him:
-- Rabbi, what can be done?!
-- Do you still have the internet connection?
-- Yes!
-- Sell the ship!
Clinton on the Titanic
Reagan, Nixon and Clinton are on the Titanic.
The ship hits the iceberg and sinks slowly.
Everybody starts screaming, panicking, etc.
Reagan shouts: "Women and children first."
Nixon goes: "Screw the women!"
Clinton replies: "Do you think we have time!?"
You can explore sinking ship starboard reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean sinking ship ships dad jokes. There are also sinking ship puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A couple of whales.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the same side of the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore.The male was enraged that they were going to get away and said to the female, "Lets swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, the male whale realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him."What's the matter, Darling?"
"Look, Love," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen".
What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments?
Sinko de Mayo
What do you do when you see a ship crash into an iceberg?
You let it sink in.
The German Coast Guard receives a distress signal from an American ship...
The American captain says "Mayday! Mayday! We're sinking! I repeat, we are sinking!"
The German Coast Guard replies "Oh that's nice, what are you sinking about?"
A boat in the Atlantic ocean was starting to sink...
... The captain gathered everyone and said "OK everyone, it looks like we are going down, does anyone know how to pray?" One of the ships crew members sitting in the back raises his hand and Hays "yes captain I know how to pray." The captain responds "OK well you start praying and everyone else put a life jacket on, we're short one jacket."
Another joke from my 95 year old grandpa.
A rabbi, a lawyer, and a priest are on a cruise ship as it starts to sink...
As chaos ensues and people are running around frantically, the three men huddle together and try to make a grave decision.
The rabbi says, "we must save the children!"
The lawyer says, "no, screw the children!"
Then the priest says, "do we really have time to screw the children?"
I'm great at signalling for help on a sinking ship..
Just got a flare for it.
You know why it's women and children first off of a sinking ship?
It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution.
Bill Clinton, George W.Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
Bill Clinton, George W. Bush and George Washington are on a sinking ship.
As the boat sinks, George Washington shouts, "Save the women!"
George W. Bush hollers, "Screw the women!"
Bill Clinton asks excitedly, "Do we have time?"
A catholic priest, Baptist minister, and a rabbi are on a cruise ship
When the ship begins to sink. They are making their way to the life boats when they notice that there are a bunch of un-escorted kids standing there. The Baptist minster says to the others, "what about the children?"
The rabbi says,"fuck the children."
The catholic priest asks, "do we have time for that?"
How can north korea tell if it made a ship or a submarine?
By how fast it sinks.
A prayer
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast.
He called out: "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward: "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
Good", said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short"
A ship was sailing in the middle of the ocean....
A storm was developing in the distance. As the storm raged, the captain realised the ship was sinking fast.
He called out loud, "Anyone here knows how to pray?"
A man proudly raised his hand and came forward, "Aye Captain, I know how to pray."
The Captain replied, "Great, you keep praying while the rest of us put our life jackets on.......we are short of one!"
Ship was sinking. An oldman asked Roby, How far is land ?
Roby: 2 KMs.
oldman jumped into sea.
oldman : Now, which direction?
Roby: Downwards!
What kind of ship never sinks?
A dictatorship.
*sobs*
A cruise ship sinks in the middle of the sea...
The people on the ship manage to escape on life boats. A woman comes to the captain and asks him: "How far is the closest land?"
The captain answers :"3 km."
The woman says after: "In which direction?", to which the captain replied :"Down"
Why do we let women and children off a sinking ship first?
So the sharks aren't hungry anymore.
Why do we let women and children off a sinking ship first?
So the men can plug the leak, sail away, and start better lives.
Immaturity defined
Husband says to marriage counselor:
"My wife is so immature."
"Can you give me an example?" the counselor asked.
"Well, like every time I'm taking a bath she comes in and sinks all my ships."
Which of the following does not belong: a) Gordon Lightfoot b) Helen Reddy c) Donald Trump d) Celine Dion
b) Helen Reddy is not associated with a sinking ship.
Where is the safest place to be on a capsizing ship? (Worst joke ever)
The Galley!
Everything but the kitchen sinks.
^(I warned you)
Life is all about perspective
The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle!..to the lobsters...in the ships kitchen.
What do a prisoner and a sinking ship have in common?
They both need bailing out.
English navy ship is sinking...
They are sending message on the radio: "MAY DAY, MAY DAY!! WE ARE SINKING!"
A German ship hears their message and responds: " Zis is German Navy Ship. What are you sinking about?"
Were those peace times or war times, I cannot tell... either way it's funny :)
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
A British ship is sinking in the north sea and calls the nearest coast guard station.
The German coast guard station gets the message, RMS sea lion taking on water and we are sinking. A minute passes and they get a response....Vell, vat are you sinking about?
The power of prayer
A ship is sinking, the captain turns to the people on the boat and asks, "does anyone here know how to pray?"
The priest on boards says he can pray.
Captain: "Ok priest, you pray. Everyone else will wear a life jacket. We are short of one."
An English ship is sinking just off the German coast...
Mayday, mayday, we are sinking!
The German coast guard responds: Hello, zhis is ze German coast guard, whaz are you zinking about?
A British ship was sinking.
It was the first day of an employee of the German boat central. After a while he received a emergency call from a British ship.
"We are sinking, i repeat, we are sinking!"
The German replied:
"What are you thinking about?"
German Coast Guard
An English ship was approaching the coast when suddenly they started taking on a lot of water. The captain decided to contact the coast guard for help.
**Captain**: Mayday Mayday, This is the English Pearl, we are sinking.
**German Coast Guard**: Sorry, may you please repeat?
**Captain**: This is the English Pearl and we are sinking.
After a few moments of silence...
**German Coast Guard**: What are you sinking about?
Colored Sailors
A ship loaded with blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint.
Both ships sink.
The Sailors were marooned.
A German coast guard and an English ship
A German coast guard is doing maintenance on the shores of the North Sea near France. They come upon an English ship which seems to be sinking.
The captain of the English ship shouts to the coast guard, "Mayday mayday, we're sinking!"
The German coast guard then replies, " What are you sinking about?"
A lawyer, a priest and a doctor are all on a ship filled with children and it begins to sink.
They all jump into the life boats, but due to the weight, the life boats start sinking as well.
The doctor exclaims Save the children! And begins to jump out of the lifeboat.
The lawyer grabs the doctor and pulls him back stating Screw the children!
The priest says Do we have time?
An American ship is sending out a distress signal, "HELP, we are sinking!"
German ship radios back in "What are you sinking about?"
A magician gets himself a parrot for his act
After a couple weeks of performing with the magician the parrot begins to heckle the magician during his shows. "it's under his hat, it's up his sleeve, his assistant has it."
The magician is performing on a cruise ship when the ship sinks. The magician wakes up on a piece of driftwood with the parrot standing on the opposite end. The parrot and the magician spend 2 days floating at sea without saying a word.
Finally the parrot says, "Alright, I give up. Where's the boat?"
American presidents are on a sinking ship!
Ford says: What do we do?
Bush says: Man the lifeboats!
Reagan says: What lifeboats?
Carter says: Women and children first!
Nixon says: Screw the women!
Clinton says: You think we have time?
What did the captain if the Titanic do when he found out the ship hit an iceberg?
He let it sink in.
Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Joe Biden, and Donald Trump are all on a sinking ship. Who gets saved?
America.
I love my wife so much...
I love my wife so much, that if we were on a sinking ship with only one life vest, I would miss her very much and think of her a lot.
A British ship is sinking.
The radio operator is sending out a distress call saying "Mayday, mayday we are sinking. Please help."
A few kilometers away, a German ship hears the call, and the radio operator, who doesn't speak English very well and is new on the job, answers
"uh hello, we hear you. Um, what are you sinking about?"
My Grandfather saw the Titanic. He shouted loudly to all within earshot "that ship is going to sink!". He was ignored. But he kept it up "Mark my words. That ship will sink on her maiden voyage!"
Eventually the ushers threw him out of the theater.
My Grandad knew that The Titanic was going to sink.
He told every man, woman and child that the ship was going to sink.
They hushed him up.
He shouted "The ship is going to hit an iceberg and sink"
StiΔΊl they tried to silence him.
He shouted even louder, "THE TITANIC IS GOING TO HIT A ICEBERG AND SINK!"
That was it! He'd been warned, so they threw him out of the cinema.
A magician working on a ship was losing people's interest with the captains parrot telling everyone how he was performing his tricks.
After a few weeks into the course, the ship breaks down and sinks in the ocean. The magician makes it out alive and holds onto a scrap of wood not to drown. Unfortunately the parrot was also using the same scrap to survive.
A few days go past and the parrot finally looks to the magician and says, "You know what? I give up! How did you make the ship disappear?"
A magician performs magic tricks on the Titanic before it sinks.
In the crowd there is a parrot that somehow always knows whats going on.
He pulls a string of hankerchiefs out of his sleeve: "AWCK, he pulls it from his inner pocket!"
He pulls a rabbit out of a hat: "AWCK, A false bottom!"
He saws a girl in half: "AWCK, there are two girls!"
Then disaster strikes, and the ship goes down and only the magician and the parrot are left on a makeshift raft. "AWCK! okay, I give up, how did you make the ship disappear?!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the sinking ship shipwreck jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working sinking ship voyage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.