Sings Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Sings puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Sings

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies?

A fart.

*dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What computer monitor sings the best?

A Dell.

Yo mama so fat

When she sings.. it's over.

I saw a lonely young man sitting at the bar

He was softly singing to himself *21 today, 21 today*.
Feeling sorry for the lad I bought him a beer.
With a smile and a nod of the head he sings *22 today, 22 today*!

What do you call a computer that sings?


A group of professors are on a plane.

A group of professors are on a plane as an experiment. They were told that the plane was made by their students. Naturally everyone panicked, their students were not the brightest people. However there was one professor who did not show any sings of fear. When they asked him why he replied "how can i be worried if the plane won't even take off."

Man cheats clearly

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

[Scottish]What's the difference between Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?

Bing sings, and Walt disnae.

John gets a Christmas parrot

John decided to get his wife a Christmas present. Maybe a puppy. Walking in to the pet store, he searches for the right puppy.

"Excuse me sir, are you looking for a Christmas present?" the clerk asked. "Yes, I think she would like a puppy," John replies.

"Here," motioning towards the back of the store, "we have a very special bird, Chet. He sings Christmas carols. See, light a match and hold it under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh." "Perfect," John exclaims.

Molly was home as she hears John knocking on the door. Letting him in, John proudly smiles, "His name is Chet. I got you a singing parrot!" Raising a eyebrow, Molly stares at him. Placing the parrot on his stand, John lights a match. "Listen to him sing when I hold the match under his left foot." The parrot begins to sing again, "Silent night, holy night." Pulling the match away, "And now his right foot." The parrot sings, "Dashing through the snow, in a one horse open sleigh."

"Well, what do you think?" Jon smiles. Molly stood quietly, "What would happened if you hold the match, well, between his feet?"

Holding the match between his feet, the parrot squawks, "CHET'S NUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE!"

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley

My favorite Christmas joke

A few days before Christmas, a man enters a pet store looking for a unique gift for his wife.

The store manager tells him he has just what he's looking for! A beautiful parrot named Chet that sings Christmas carols. He brings the husband over to a colorful but quiet bird.

The man agrees that Chet certainly is pretty, but he doesn't seem to be much for singing. The manager tells him to watch as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a lighter.

The manager then clicks the lighter and holds it under Chet's left foot. Immediately Chet starts singing; "Silent Night, Holy Night."

The husband is very impressed with Chet's singing abilities and watches as the manager moves the lighter underneath Chet's right foot. Chet now starts to sing "Jingle Bells, Jingle All the Way."

The husband says Chet is perfect and that he'll take him. He rushes home to his wife and insists upon giving her this wonderful gift immediately. He presents Chet and starts to explain the parrot's special talent.

Demonstrating, he holds a lighter under Chet's left foot and the bird sings "Silent Night." He then moves the lighter under the right foot and Chet lets loose a round of "Jingle Bells."

The wife is absolutely impressed, and with a mischievous grin asks her husband what happens if he holds the lighter between Chet's legs instead.

Curious the husband moves the lighter between the bird's legs, and the bird begins to sing "Chet's nuts Roasting on an Open Fire!"

They say it ain't over until the fat lady sings.

No wonder Feminist can't start things

So last year I started a tradition, I carry a pebble and throw it at anyone who sings Christmas songs before December....

I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

A man is cheating

on his wife, Lorraine. His lover is a girl named Clearly. His wife suspects him of cheating so she is always keeping a close eye on him. He knows that she is always watching so he never gets a chance to be with Clearly. One day, Lorraine had a heart attack and died. At her funeral, the man sings: "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."

Have you guys heard about the irish boomerang?

it never returns but it constantly sings songs about how it wants to.

What kind of PC sings really well?

A Dell

Me, neighbor and cops are making a band

I play electric guitar, Cops are playing drums on the door and neighbor sings outside the window.

Did you hear the one about the Irish boomerang ?

It doesn't come back .............. it just sings about how much it wants to.

What do you call a 2000 pound spanish toilet that sings?

El Ton John

TIL Every animal has its own specific mating call

A bird sings, a frog croaks, a badger clickets, a grasshopper chirps, a deer croons, and I beg.

What is large, grey and sings great jazz songs?

Elephants Gerald

A guy goes into a restaurant for breakfast at Christmas time.

After looking over the menu he orders eggs Benedict. When his breakfast arrives, it's served on a big shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter,"Whats with the hubcap?" The waiter sings, "There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"

Did you hear that Taylor Swift stopped singing songs about herself?

She sings all about it in her new hit song.

What do you call an egg that sings?


My sister asked me who sings the 'Black Beatles' song [OC]

I told her probably John Melanin.

A man comes to a circus and offers to do a show: a crocodile playing piano and a hippo singing.

The show has a tremendous success and earns a load of money for the circus, so the circus owner asks the man: Tell me there's a trick in your show; it can't be that the crocodile plays piano and the hippo sings for real!

The man answers: You've got me here, of course it can't be for real. In fact, the hippo just looks impressive opening and closing his mouth, while the crocodile does all the playing and the singing .

What do you call an herb that sings?

Elvis Parsley.

What do you call a bunny that sings supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?

Mary Hoppins

By the way, not to brag, but I got that spelling right without Googling

How does a beetle serenade his girlfriend?

He sings "I've got you under my chitin".

What do you call an Elf that sings?

A wrapper!

Merry Christmas.

I hope you got what you wished for. ( อกยฐ อœส– อกยฐ)

Do you know what laptop sings the best?

A dell

Why is there echo every time Bono sings?

Because he's close to The Edge

Wife sings and husband gets out!

Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing.
Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you!!

The Chili's theme song from the late nineties would make a far better anthem for the 'Amber Alert'.

*sings* I want my baby back, baby back, baby back...

Sam went into Samsung store

Sam went into a Samsung store where he was told that he could win a brand new phone if he sings them a song. What did Sam do?

Sam sung.

What do you call a search engine that sings Christmas songs?

Michael googlรฉ.

Did you hear about the breed of Italian cats that sings songs of gratitude?

Apparently, they're called the Ariagatto.

Balkan Gipsy guy sings wiggle wiggle XD so funny XDD

Did you hear about the guy who sings to deaf people?

He uses an odd lang-sign.

Do you know who sings S.O.Y.?

It's Ed Vegan.

Where can you buy freshly cut meats and cheeses while a British woman sings to you


What's a car that sings?

A hummer

What do you call a fake field that sings alone?

False meadow.

What do you call a dog that sings?

Kelly Barckson.

(Am Belgian, sorry if this joke already existed. Came up with it while watching the Graham Norton show where she performed last week.)

I'm in a Ska band that only sings about fatherhood.

We're called Dadness.

What's green and sings and dances fantastic?

Fred Asparagus. (I'm sorry, Holiday Inn was on TCM tonight.)

What do you call someone who sings about mints?

A "Minstrel".

(This actually happened today at school)

Student: sings a song, in a scratchy voice

Teacher: stop singing

Student: It wasn't me it was student #2

Teacher: student #2 can't sing that well

Have you heard about the Irish boomerang?

When you throw it it doesn't come back, it just sings songs about how it wishes it could.

What red, really painful, and sings?

John Menstrual Cramp.

Batman is single.

But it ain't over till the Bat lady sings.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes