Single Mom Jokes

Can we please stop with the meta because she's dead punchlines? I've been trying to read actual funny jokes from this sub to my mom to cheer her up but she hasn't laughed at a single one of them.

Because she's dead.

Mom got me the other day.

My mom has never been into jokes, normally she doesn't understand them. Pop loved them, especially dad jokes. He's gone now and moms been sick for 7 months. Oh, and I'm old and single and tell her dad jokes all the time.
Mom, "a woman was here the other day and asked if you were my son, and I said yes".
Me, "really?".
Mom, "then she said you were really good looking".
Me, "Okay mom".
Mom, after long pause, "she was blind"

A single father gets asked by one of his children:

"Dad, why am i called Snowflake?"
Her Dad replies:
"Well, right after you where born on the Mountains, it started snowing and a snowflake landed on your mother's forehead."
The second child asks as well:
"Why am i called Azure?"
The Dad replied:
"When you where born in a valley, a Azure Flower landed on your Mother's forehead."
And then the third kid asked:
"Dad, What happened to mom?"
"Well, Brick. That's a question for another Time!"

My 11-year-old grandson spent a beautiful

My 11-year-old grandson spent 
a beautiful Saturday playing video games. His older sister tried coaxing him outside by warning, Someday, you're going to be 30 years old, single, and living in Mom's basement playing video games all day!
His reply: I can only dream.

Reddit advice on relationships

Reddit advice on relationships no matter the question: leave them, it's a red flag! . The Redditor then feels satisfied, having posted sound advice, and goes to sleep alone in their single-mom's basement.

I'm really glad I didn't turn out to be a biter, y'know?

Some people, when they're kids, tend to bite others while playing, which isn't good. What's worse is that some never grow out of it, like my mom, apparently. Every so often, I'd hear her and dad playing from across the house, and, every single time, he'd have to tell her to bite the pillows.

A boy in kindergarten has to use the restroom, but the men's room is locked...

So his mother tells her son that it's alright to use the women's room this once, because they are single rooms that lock from the inside. The boy comes out a minute later and asks his mother for a quarter. The mother asks what he needs a quarter for, to which he replies:
"Apparently, mom, napkins cost 25 cents in women's restrooms."

Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him…
Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly.
He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?"
The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"

She was already feeling very annoyed that night

The skimpy uniform the bar owner made them all wear was bad enough. It helped with tips, she guessed, and as a newly single mom she had to do whatever she could to pay the bills.
But the men! She could feel their oozing gazes following her as she buzzed around the room carrying drinks and clearing tables.
The last straw was when one table kept ordering single drinks, one at a time, making her come back over and over again. Finally frustrated, she blurted out
"Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"