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Single Line Jokes

51 single line jokes and hilarious single line puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about single line that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Single Line Jokes

Short single line jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The single line humour may include short one line jokes also.

  1. Did you guys know that the Soviet Union made the best bread in history? People would wait days in line for a single piece
  2. Did you know that the USSR had some of the world's best bakeries? People would stand in line all week just to get a single slice of bread!
  3. Did you know that the USSR produced the best bread in the world? Why, people would stand in line for days for just a single piece!
  4. My favorite pick up line With you I feel like a stud, I was just an STD before
    (Also the reason I am still single)
  5. If everyone on Earth stood in a single file line around the equator most of them would drown.
  6. What do you call a group of rabbits walking backwards in single file. Recieding hare line.
  7. If people all stood on the equator in a single file line that wrapped around the world... ...most of them would drown.
  8. When I was single, I used to line up a bunch of strippers And. Um... uh.
    Sorry, I lost my train of thot.
  9. The worst pick up line I ever thought of... 'If I told you Voldemort hid a Horcrux in your sphincter would you let me destroy it? ;)'
    Still single for now...
  10. You know those single rider lines at Disney land, Yeah I got kicked off one, because apparently it's not a place to meet other single riders.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about single line can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of single line puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Fun-Filled Single Line Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle

What funny jokes about single line you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean one liner jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make single line prank.

After numerous rounds of, "We don't know if o**... is still alive," o**... himself decided to send Ted Kennedy a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game.
Kennedy opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of the coded message, 370HSSV-0773H.
Kennedy was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry.
Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI.
Noone could solve it at the FBI, so it went to the CIA, then to the NSA.
With no clue as to its meaning, the FBI finally asked Marine Corps Intelligence for help.
Within a few seconds, the Marine Corps cabled back with this reply, "Tell Kennedy he's holding the message upside down."

There's a drunk guy in line at the grocery store...

The woman in front of him has a block of cheddar cheese, a half gallon of milk, and a dozen eggs.
He stumbles up to her and says, "Why, you must be single!"
Rather surprised, she looks at him and replies, "Yes, I am single! You could tell that just from what I'm buying?"
Without missing a beat, the drunk guy says, "No, it's 'cause you're f**...' ugly!"

Just got this in an email: The ITALIAN f**......

The ITALIAN f**......
A man was leaving a convenience store with his morning coffee when he noticed a most unusual f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery.
A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one.Behind the second hearse was a solitary man walking a dog on a leash.
Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file.
The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the man walking the dog and said:
"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked
and killed her."
He inquired further, "But who is in
the second hearse?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law.

She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her. She didn’t survive either."
A very poignant and touching moment of brotherhood and silence passed between the two men.
"Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Get in line."

In line at The Pearly Gates...

are 3 men. The first approaches St. Peter who says,"Tell me, what did you do in life?" The man explains that he was a priest. St. Peter shakes his hand and ushers him to a waiting e**.... The second man steps up. The same question is asked and he explains that he was a doctor. Again he receives a simple hand shake and a single e**.... The third man steps forward and explains that he was a lawyer. Suddenly Peter gets very excited. A band comes rushing out of the gates playing, followed by a crowd of people who place the lawyer on their shoulders, and carry him away chanting his name and cheering. The priest and the doctor are confused and ask St. Peter,"What is the deal here? We had much more noble lives than that man. Why does he get such special treatment?" St. Peter replies,"We get priests and doctors all the time. That is our first lawyer."

Wives seem to love this one

In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the Mystic delivered grave news:
"There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year."
Visibly shaken, Laura stared at the woman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and to stop her mind racing. She simply had to know.
She met the Fortune Teller's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

2 hearses.

One fall day Dave was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file. Intrigued, Dave went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse. "My wife," the man replied. "I'm sorry," said Dave. "What happened to her?" "My dog bit her and she died." Dave then asked who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well." "Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line." replied the man.

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day

A woman is going through the checkout line the night before Valentine's day. She is placing her items on the belt: a TV dinner, a soap opera digest, 3 bottles of wine, and 3 chocolate bars.
The clerk looks and her and says "I hate Valentines Day...what about you, you must be single right?"
"Yeah" she responds, "how did you know? Was it the stuff I'm buying?"
"Nah, you're ugly"

A middle aged woman walks into a grocery store…

She has been single for the past 5 years and is extremely lonely. She proceeds to collect a few things here and there from throughout the store. Lip balm, a gallon of milk, a few rolls of paper towels, chicken p**... pies, and laundry detergent.
When she finishes finding all of her items she proceeded to the checkout counter. Immediately after she got in line a man came up behind her and began to wait as well. He had a 12 pack with him and was obviously drunk. He was staring at her groceries then up at her, swaying back and forth trying to keep balance.
You must be single? he asked her.
Normally she would ignore a stranger talking to her, especially one this drunk, but she was for some reason slightly intrigued. She noticed he kept looking at her groceries and up at her. Maybe he thought she was single based off what she was purchasing. Maybe he could point out something that would help her find someone to love.
Yes, I am single , she said. But can you tell me something? How can you tell I'm single? she said as she looked down at the few things in her basket.
cause….. he struggled to stand up and looked her in the eye. cause you're ugly.

Psychic

Desperate to know her future, a woman decided to go visit a psychic.
In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the tarot cards laid out before her, the psychic delivered the bad news...
'There is no easy way to say this so I'll be blunt. Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year.'
Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle and then looked down at her hands.
She took a few deep breaths to compose herself and decided to ask the question she desperately needed to know.
She met the psychic's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, 'Will I get away with it?'

The heir to a fortune...

wasn't having any luck with women who would be interested in *him* so he decided to let his money work for him. He sees a beautiful girl he likes and tells her: "I'm the next in line to a fortune of billions. As soon as my single father kicks the bucket, I'll be able to make your dreams come true. Will you marry me?" The girl looks at him, thinks for a second and says: "No. But thanks for the offer."
A week later the son comes home after a day of frivolity and sees that same woman at his house sitting in a lounge chair in their mansion watching television. She turns to him and says: "Oh hi there! I'm your new step-mother!"

the old man

Some older guy was following me around at a small grocery store, always about 10 feet back. He kept looking at me and sighing. I thought he was some old gay pervert, but I was wrong. He got to the store's single checkout line just before I did. There he turned to me and told me something quite heart wrenching. He said he was sorry for staring, but I looked exactly like his son who had died fighting in Iraq ten years before. He asked if it would be too weird if he could give me a hug and say goodbye as some sort of closure. I though it harmless so agreed. He gave me a hug and said, good bye, son. And then he left the store with his groceries. As I had my few items scanned and went to pay, I was outraged at the total. It was much more than my few items warranted. I asked the cashier to explain the situation, and she said that my father said I was covering his groceries too.

The f**... Dog

A Jewish man was leaving a convenience store with his espresso when he noticed a most unusual Italian f**... procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A black hearse was followed by a second black hearse about 50 feet behind the first one. Behind the second hearse was a solitary Italian man walking a dog on a leash. Behind him, a short distance back, were about 200 men walking single file. The man couldn't stand the curiosity. He respectfully approached the Italian man walking the dog and said:

"I am so sorry for your loss, and this may be a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen an Italian f**... like this. Whose f**... is it?"
"My wife's."
''What happened to her?"
"She yelled at me and my dog attacked and killed her."

He inquired further, "But who is in the second hearse?"

The Italian man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog turned on her."

A very poignant and touching moment of Jewish and Italian brotherhood and silence passed between the two men...

The Jewish man then asked "Can I borrow the dog?"

The Italian man replied, "Get in line."

The Military decided to build a new supersonic airplane.

It looked great on paper so a few prototypes were commissioned. They came out looking great except whenever it took flight, the wings would fall off. And no matter how much reinforcement the design team added to the wings, they would tear off at the exact same place every single time.
They decided to hire an expert to sort out this problem. His solution was to drill little holes all along the line where the wings usually broke off. The designers were skeptical but did as was recommended. A test flight proved that this solution worked; the wings wouldn't tear off anymore, under any circumstances. They were thrilled the solution worked, but couldn't understand why or how. The expert explained to them that nothing ever tears along the perforation.

A single man is in the checkout line at a grocery store...

...and the cashier watches as he places each item on the belt: 1 frozen pizza, 5 TV dinners, 1 bar of soap, and 1 six-pack of Budweiser.
As she takes his money, the cashier looks at the man and says "you must be single, right?"
The man is taken aback. "You can tell that from what I'm buying?" he asks.
The cashier replies, "no, you're just b**...-ugly."

This guy goes through the checkout line of the grocery store…

and he's got, like, a stack of frozen dinners, a six-pack of beer, a big 'ol bag of chips, and a single roll of toilet paper.
The cute checkout girl says, "Well, I know *you're* single!"
The guy says, "Well, yeah—how'd you guess?"
She says, "You're ugly."

Waiting in line

A woman is checking out at the grocery store. She buys a dozen eggs, two boxes of pasta, waffles, a bag of onions, lunch meat, oatmeal, sparkling water and throws on a pack of gum at the register.
The man behind her says "you must be single"
"Why yes I am! Did you figure this out by noticing all the stuff I bought?"
"Nope, it's because you are ugly!"

So a guy is watering his lawn...

and he notices two hearses slowly coming down the street. Behind the hearses is a guy walking a dog and behind them is a long row of men walking single file behind him.
The guy curious to know what happened approaches the guy walking the dog. "What happened here?" he asks. The guy replies, "Well this dog here killed my wife and then killed my mother-in-law right after." The guy watering his lawn thinks for a few seconds and say to the guy, "Hey, you mind if I borrow your dog?"
The guy looks at him and then turns around and says, "Get in line."

Wisdom of a drunk

A woman in her mid-thirties went to a local grocery store late at night to buy a few necessities. As she was in line at the register, an extremely intoxicated man got in line behind her holding some liquor.The woman ignored him and the waft of alcohol, but couldn't help notice he was looking her over.
Finally the woman turned and asked what was wrong. The intoxicated man looked at her, at the items she was buying, at her again, then said, "Lady, I bet you're single."
The woman was taken aback. She WAS single, but looking at the apples and milk she was buying, and her modest but clean and fashionable attire, she had no idea what gave the drunk man that idea.
"Why yes, I am single. How did you know?"
"Cuz yer ugly."

At my high school graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch...

So I told a bunch of my friends "I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation."
Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them "Here's the punch line."
This is a completely true story, so I do not regret it.

Three guys walk into an exotic bar...

Three guys- Sam, Jim, and Mike- walk into an exotic bar and see something strange. Every single person in the bar is standing in four separate lines. The three guys approach the bar and asks the bartender what is going on. "If you want to get served, ya gotta get in a line. What do you boys want?"
"I'll have a beer", Sam said and the bartender pointed to the beer line.
"I'll have some bourbon", Jim said and the bartender pointed to the whiskey line.
"I'm not drinking tonight, so do you have any fruit punch?" asked Mike. The bartender stares blankly then signals over his bouncer.
"Hey Bobby, kick this man out!"
"Woah, woah, what did I do wrong?" cried Mike.
"There is no punchline!"

Single or Married ?

A woman is shopping in the local supermarket. She selects some milk, some eggs, a carton of juice, and a package of bacon. As she unloads her items at the cash register to pay, a drunk standing behind her in line watches her place the four items on the belt and states with assurance, "You must be single."
The woman looks at the four items on the belt, and seeing nothing unusual about her selection says, "That's right. How on earth did you know?"
He replies, "Because you're ugly."

Drunk a grocery store

Drunk guy standing in line at a grocery store looks at the woman in front of him then down at her items at the register.
He says "You must be single"
The woman kinda annoyed but amazed says " OK I'll bite, how did you know that?"
Drunk man looks at her and slurs " Cause you're ugly"

A guy was watering his lawn

As he was watering his lawn, he noticed a hearse coming down the street followed by another hearse. Behind the second hearse was a man walking a dog, and behind them were like 15 guys walking in a single file line.
The guy watering his lawn walks up to the man with the dog and asks what happened.
"My wife was killed by this dog."
"Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that," replied the guy. "Why is there a second hearse?" he asked.
"Well this dog also killed my mother-in-law shortly after."
The guy thinks for a second and then asks the man if he can borrow the dog.
The man replies, "Get in line."

A woman is shopping at a grocery store.

She picks up a half gallon of skim milk, 2 loaves of wheat bread, one dozen organic eggs, and some carrots. She goes to the checkout line.
"You must be single." the clerk says.
Amazed at the flattering insight of the clerk, the woman says, "Yes I am. How could you tell?".
"Because you're ugly".

A woman is doing some grocery shopping...

She's going to the checkout line and the cashier says:
"Coke... mayo... some corn flakes... a bottle of wine... some chips. Let me guess, you're single right?"
The lady goes "Well... yeah, how do you know?"
The cashier answers, "Because you're ugly"

Shopping for singles

I went to a small grocery shop. I am on my way to pay and look for a line. I suddenly notice one young and pretty cashier with almost empty line so I go for it. I start to unload my groceries on a tilt. One pack of hard cigarettes, 6 beers, frozen pizza, some bacon and chocolate bars.
The cashier smiles at me and says: ''You are single, right?''
Little shocked I reply with a smile ''Yes... why? Did my selection of grocery gave it away?''
''No, you are ugly as f*c**....''

A man dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates, he sees two lines.

The first line has a sign that says "Henpecked Husbands." The line is full of an endless queue of men that stretches far out of site.
The sign above the second line says, "Non-Henpecked Husbands." This line is empty, aside from a single scrawny man who was just entering it.
The recently deceased man approaches the single occupant of the second line and taps him on the shoulder. "Excuse me," he says, "but can I ask why you're the only man in this line?"
The man in the line frowns defensively and says, "My wife told me to stand here."

They said if you put a million monkeys on typewriters they'd eventually bang out a work of art.

Well, I've been reading the YouTube comment section for years and haven't seen a single line of Shakespeare.

Two villages in Thailand cannot find a way to settle their differences.

They arrange to meet on the battle field the following day to finish it once and for all.
The next morning, hundreds of villagers from each settlement line up facing each other, ready for war.
They both send a single monk, fully dressed in hooded robes to the middle of the field. They begin to fight, one on one, **to the death**.
Confused, a young villager asks his father why the villages are not facing off in their entirety.
"Ah, my son, when the Catholics come here long ago, they teach us one thing", his father begins, "to win battle, you must fight friar with friar".

A woman is in line at the grocery store when a very drunk man behind her looks the items in her cart and slurs "you mus' be single...!"

She was set to ignore him when she notices her shopping. There's nothing in her cart that would indicate her relationship status...
Curiosity gets the better of her and she answers him
"I am actually, but, how did you know?"
The drunk straightens up slightly and says "cos you're f**...' ugly...!"

Once upon a time, there was a boxer who always wins every single match...

When fans asked him what's his secret, he would just say, "I imagine there's a line on my opponent's face and I hit that line,". On his 100th boxing match, the whole world was watching. He lost. It was his first loss ever in his career. Fans again wondered so he was interviewed. A reported asked how come he lost this game. "Well, I carefully looked at the opponents face," he said, "and there's no punch line".

A man was in line with his young son at the pharmacy...

when the little guy spotted the case of condoms off to the side.
"What are those, Daddy?" he asked.
"Ah, those are the condoms, son," said the father. "Remember when we talked about how babies are made? People use those during s**... to avoid getting the woman pregnant."
"Why are they in different size packages?"
"Well, the single ones are for the weekend for high school guys. See? One for Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. And those packs of three are for college guys. One for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."
"What about the big box, Daddy?"
"Ah, those are packs of 12 for married men like me, son. See? One for January, one for February..."

3 moles are digging underground in a single-file line.

The first mole stops digging and says, I smell syrup!
The second mole lifts up its head and says, I smell honey!
The mole in the back yells, I smell mole-a**...!

Kim Jong Un sent Donald Trump a letter...

to let him know he was still open to denuclearization. Trump opened the letter and found a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was confused, so he asked his aides to figure it out. The aides couldn't understand where the code came from, so they forwarded it to the FBI.
The FBI came back without an answer so they forwarded it to the CIA. The CIA had no idea so they reached out to the MSS (Ministry of State Security in China) for help.
Within a few seconds, MSS wrote back with this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding the message upside down."

There's a single line of footprints in the desert

There's a single line of footprints in the desert. A man asks Jesus why there is only one set of footprints. Jesus replies "because sand people walk in single file to conceal their numbers"

A woman is in line at the grocery store

As she starts to load her food onto the conveyor belt, a drunk man gets in line behind her. As she finishes emptying her basket he leans over and says to her, "you must be single."
She's determined to ignore him, but as she waits she finds herself looking down at her groceries: milk, eggs, apples, salad, chicken... nothing that seems out of the ordinary. Finally her curiosity gets the better of her, so she turns to the man and says, "alright, how did you know? These seem like perfectly ordinary groceries to me."
The drunk man smiles knowingly. "Because... you're f**...' ugly"

Kim Jong Un decided to send donald trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

A blond walks into a bar and orders a line of shots.

A blond walks into a bar and asks for 10 shots of the establishment's finest single malt scotch. The bartender sets her up, and the blond takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. She then takes the last shot in the row and does the same.
The bartender asks, "Why did you do that?" And the blondy replies, "Well the first shot always tastes like c**..., and the last one always makes me sick!"

3 Docs needed…

A Doctor was relaxing on his sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang.
The doctor calmly answered it, and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
"We have already opened an 18 year old RARE SINGLE MALT GLENFIDDICH WHISKEY..
"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.
As he was moving out, his wife asked, "Is it serious..?"
"Oh yes, quite", said the doctor gravely. Shaking his head, he muttered "Only18 years old. 3 doctors are there already..!"

A magnet walks into an elemental singles bar and tries a pickup line on a pretty slab of metal.

"Is your name *Beryllium*? 'Cause you can alka-***lie*** next to *my* earth metal!"
The slab of ***lead*** says "Nah. You don't *attract* me."
Ba dum TSS!

A single guy walks into a bar

A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been trying that online dating thing. Almost every single girl has the same old line in their profile," he tells the bartender. "Oh yeah, what line is that?" the bartender asks. "They all say, 'If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote,'" the guy says. "Well the joke's on them. I've been turning women off without a remote for years."

jokes about single line

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these single line jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.