Single Girl Jokes
52 single girl jokes and hilarious single girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about single girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Single Girl Short Jokes
Short single girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The single girl humour may include short single woman jokes also.
- A beautiful girl asked me in a restaurant,"Are you single?" I Happily I replied," Yes...."
She took away the extra chair in front of me. - A teacher told her first grade class, "A single dolphin can have two hundred off-spring!" A little girl gasped, "How about the married ones?"
- It's in the Smile A boy met a girl....
Girl: Every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place.
Boy (smiling): Why thank you... are you single?
Girl: No, I am a dentist. - A girl met a guy at the subway G: Everytime you smile I feel like calling you over to my place
B: awww... Are you single?
G: No I'm a dentist - So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling. I don't think they trust my human catapult.
- I'm into boys and I'm into girls… but I've been single for so long I no longer think I'm bisexual I'm officially all bi-myself
- My friends are baffled that I gave up the single life for my European wife and wonder why I don't chase girls anymore. It's because she keeps me in Czech.
- Hey girl, are you a hot single from my area? Because you look like you'll give me some form of virus
- Why didn't Johnny Lawrence's sensei have any children? Irons became so popular in the 1960s that not a single girl had a Kreese in her pants.
- I promised my wife that I haven't kissed a single girl since we met the married ones are less demanding
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Single Girl One Liners
Which single girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with single girl? I can suggest the ones about single boy and single people.
- Every single time I give my heart to a girl... She Brexit.
- An adorable girl asked me something "Are you single?"
"No, I am an album" - Hey girl, are you my morning prayers? 'Cause I miss you every single day.
- Why was the single girl finally at peace with herself? She metta guy.
- I've never dated a girl that could sing. But every single one of them thought they could.
- Are you single? Guy : Are you single?
Girl : Yeahm
Guy : I like to dissect girls.
Humorous Single Girl Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about single girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean single ladies jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make single girl pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.
A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice. She says, "I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play t**...." With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, "Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!" As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, "Yes! Yes! I won! I won!" She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs. The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asks, "What did she roll?" The other answers, "I don’t know, I thought you were watching."
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
I was drinking my coffee in a coffeehouse when a beautiful girl came near my table and asked me:
"Are you alone?"
So I responded: "It's a long time that I'm alone."
"So do you mind me to take this chair?" said the girl.
I fainted...
I was at this party the other day...
...and one of my buddies decided to have me do a magic trick to "liven up the crowd."
So I took a brand new deck of cards and asked for a single, female volunteer. I found the hottest one in the room and got her on the coffee table "stage," asked her if we knew each other in real life, if the deck was new, yatta yatta yatta.
She said yes and I opened the deck and a sharpie marker.
"Write your name on whatever card you pick," I said, and paused as she wrote it down, "And your phone number. I promise this is leading somewhere." Another pause, and she agrees.
Taking the card from her, I held it up in the air and said "Ladies and gentlemen, I just got the number of the hottest girl in the room. MAGIC."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black knight moves into a new village with only white people...
...after a year, a white girl in the village gives birth to a black child. A shepherd goes up to the knight and says: "I think you had s**... with that girl, since you're the only black person in this entire village." The knight responds: "Well, sometimes weird things just happen, like your single white sheep among your heard of black sheep." The shepherd says: "Hey! You say nothing bout the sheep, I say nothing bout the baby."
The heir to a fortune...
wasn't having any luck with women who would be interested in *him* so he decided to let his money work for him. He sees a beautiful girl he likes and tells her: "I'm the next in line to a fortune of billions. As soon as my single father kicks the bucket, I'll be able to make your dreams come true. Will you marry me?" The girl looks at him, thinks for a second and says: "No. But thanks for the offer."
A week later the son comes home after a day of frivolity and sees that same woman at his house sitting in a lounge chair in their mansion watching television. She turns to him and says: "Oh hi there! I'm your new step-mother!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman went on a business trip to Japan...
When he got there, he stayed in a nice hotel and decided to call a prostitution service. Not knowing a single word of Japanese, it was he struggled with the ordering process.
When the girl finally arrived, they stripped down and get down to business... They were having a blast and the girl kept screaming **"Machigatta ana, Machigatta ana..!!"** Deciding that it was a sign that the girl was pleasantly satisfied, he thought nothing of it and continued all night long.
The next morning, the Englishman went and have a round of golf with his Japanese business partner. His business partner swung first.... **BAM!** **Hole in one!**
"Nice shot my friend, machigatta ana..." said the Englishman
Looking puzzled, his business partner replied
"That shot was perfect... but what do you mean 'wrong hole'?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A very good looking man walks into a singles bar
A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat. During the course of the evening he tries to chat with every single woman who walks into the bar, with no luck. Suddenly a really ugly man, and I mean R-E-A-L-L-Y ugly man walks into the bar. He sits at the bar, and within seconds he is surrounded by women. Very soon he walks out of the bar with the two of the most beautiful women you ever saw. Disheartened by all this, the good looking man asks the barman, 'Excuse me, but that really ugly man just came in here and left with those two stunning women - what's his secret? He's as ugly as sin and I'm everything a girl could want but have not been able to connect all night - What's going on?' 'Well,' Said the Barman, 'I don't know how he does it, but he does the same thing every night. He walks in, orders a drink, and just sits there l**... his eyebrows...'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Drink With My Girl Friends and Rainy Night:
The day starts with rain, and whole the day i have not seen even a single train. At night she come to me o yeaah! She holds a v**... Bottle. Asked me for enjoying the full night with continuously sips of packs. I opened the bottle take a pack, she watched. Again i make a pack and take it. She looked at me and waiting for her pack. Again i make a pack and take it. She stands up. I request her to set down. Again i make a pack and take it. She stands and went off. Again I make a Pack and Tack it :D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ever since I've downloaded Adblock, all the single girls in my area seem to have lost interest...
Now Its the Father Problem
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
"32 years old"
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Despite being a longtime single dude, I just *know* that legions of ladies want my body.
I've got the figure of a Maxim cover girl.
A little girl gets on the bus with her mom...
A little girl gets on the bus with her mom…
The mom pays a single adult cash fare.
The driver asks her "How old is your daughter?"
-- She's 5, answers the mother.
Now, turning to the little girl, the driver asks
-- And when will you turn 6, sweetie?
-- As soon as we get off the bus.
A beautiful girl at a restaurant walk up to me
She asks if I'm single and
I happily say yes
She then took the chair in front of me away.
My single friend
I have a friend who like both guys and girls but she's single.
I guess you could say she is all bi herself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Thor came down to Earth from Asgard
Thor goes to a singles bar to have a drink, and sees a beautiful girl he'd like to make love to. He goes over to buy her a drink, and she has a slight speech impediment, but Thor doesn't care because she is so beautiful and s**....
They leave the bar, and go to her apartment, and proceed to have 8 hours of fantastic s**..., every which way possible.
In the morning, he feels just a bit guilty, and decides to confess who he is to the woman.
"I have to tell you something, I'm really Thor"
She turns to him and says "YOU'RE THOR? I AM SO THOR I CAN'T EVEN PEE!"
I'm currently dating a girl called Susan Alto who has a single mum. She's invited me to her house for Christmas eve since her mother will be upstairs sleeping.
I might kiss her under Ms Alto.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For all the single guys on this sub, my advice is to find a girl with an embarrassing tattoo who likes you, and marry her.
She knows how to make bad decisions, and then stick with it.
Hey girl, are you my Physics examination paper?
Because I can stare at you for 3 hours and not understand a single thing
Every single girl I've ever loved has displayed weird, paranoid behaviors when getting ready for bed.
That's why I've never introduced myself to any of those girls.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Newspaper personal advertisement section:
SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Will lick you all over. Call (x**...) x**...-xxxx and ask for Daisy.
*Over the week over 1,500 men from all over the country called for Daisy the Black Labrador Retriever.*
You know the fool-proof method to get your girl pregnant right?
Wait until the perfect Friday night and treat her real fine. I'm talking start with chocolate, flowers, the works. Dress in y'alls Sunday best and go to the best Italian place in town. Wine her and dine her then take her home. Take it slow but start getting her real hot. I'm talking wet enough to drown a fish. Once you've done every single step, in that order, absolutely perfectly, you call me over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Below is an ad that appeared in The Atalanta Journal.
Single black female seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who loves to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips; cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I'm yours. Call this number and ask for Dixie.
(Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals about an 8-week old black Labrador retriever)
I met a girl a recently
Her: Do you have a girlfriend?
Me: No, she died a few years ago, so I'm single now.
Her: Well, may be I can take her place
Me: I don't know, the people at the graveyard will not agree to that.
An old one
A little girl walks up to her dad and says dad, are our neighbours poor?
Dad : I don't know little one, but you should not judge some one on their looks. But why do you ask?
Girl: they are all crying as their baby swallowed a single penny!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feminists are the reason I am single
If it wasn't for them, some girl out there would've been forced to settle for me by now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Looks doesn´t really matter
* Girl: The reason why you´re still single is because your standards are too high. Looks doesn´t really matter, you know.
* Boy: Wow! You´re the first non-beautiful person that I´ve heard say that looks doesn´t matter..
* Girl: WHAT?! Are you calling ME ugly!!!
* Boy: Why so upset? You just said looks doesn´t matter..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mummy, how was I born?
A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, Mummy, how was I born**?**
The mother smiled and replied:
Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth & I took care of it every single day.
After a while, the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.
So we took the plant, dried it, rolled it up, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a c**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single guy walks into a bar
A single guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've been trying that online dating thing. Almost every single girl has the same old line in their profile," he tells the bartender. "Oh yeah, what line is that?" the bartender asks. "They all say, 'If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote,'" the guy says. "Well the joke's on them. I've been turning women off without a remote for years."
