Singing Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing...

Probably because it's a Dell

I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row…

They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…

My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking

And then I saw her face...

My girlfriend begged me to stop singing Wonderwall...

I said maybe.

What do you call a singing laptop?

A Dell

Funniest thing my gf has ever said

We were at a a red light and i noticed a woman in the car behind me making a lot of arm and hand motions. No one was in the car with her (probably on bluetooth).

Me: Hey babe look at this woman behind us. What is she doing? She's just flailing her arms around but there isn't any one with her.

GF: Maybe she's deaf and she's singing to herself.

My girlfriend told me if I didn't stop singing "I'm a believer" by smash mouth she would dump me...

I thought she was joking
But then i saw her face

My wife told me to stop singing "I'm a believer" or she'd kill me. I thought she was joking...

...and then I saw her face...

My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower

I said maybe.

I got yelled at in LA today for singing Christmas Carols.

I guess they don't wanna hear about how the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.

whenever my wife starts singing around the house I immediately go into the yard

That way the neighbors know I'm not hitting her

Society is full of double standards

For example, when Ariel from The Little Mermaid swims around half naked, singing with her underwater friends, people say that she is "sweet" and "beautiful"

But when I do it, people say that I'm "drunk" and "no longer welcome at the aquarium".

A guy says, ...

A guy says, "Help me, doctor, I can't stop singing What's new Pussycat?"

The doctor says, "Oh no, you may have Tom Jones disease."

Guy says, "I've never heard of that. Is it rare?"

The doctor says, "It's not unusual."

My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall

I said maybe.

When my Mom found out I had asthma she sent me to a camp for Asthmatic children.

It was so much fun.. singing songs around the Humidifire. ( yes I know how I spelt it )

I walked in on my wife singing the other day.



Surprised, I said "Oh, I thought you were the radio."

Flattered, she asked "Did you come to listen?"

"No," I replied, "I came to turn it off."

A man goes to his doctor

"Doc, you gotta help me. I can't stop singing What's New Pussycat."
"Oh, that sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome," said the doctor.
"Tom Jones Syndrome? Is that rare?"
"It's not unusual."

I don't understand why women love singing "Let it go"...

...Since most of them keep grudges for life.

A guy goes to the doctor.

A guy goes to the doctor.

"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home.'"

"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."

"Is it common?"

"It's not unusual."

I overheard my wife singing in the shower.

"You should go on America's Got Talent," I told her.

"I can't sing," she replied.

I said, "Exactly."

Why did Walt Disney fire Snow White?

'Cause she kept sitting on Pinocchios' face singing 'tell me lies, tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies'.

*Joke's from my Dad and his friend*

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups...

That's the last time I buy A Dell.

"Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop singing 'I Want It That Way'."

Doctor: "Tell me why."

People asked me to stop singing Wonderwall.

I said maybe.

I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly

They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts

My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park

I tried so hard.

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Oasis songs.

I said maybe.

Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall

I said maybe

A guy goes to see his doctor...

He says to his doctor:

>Man: "Doctor, I can't get that song "She's a Lady" out of my head... I keep singing it over and over, but it just won't go away...."


>Doctor: "Hmmm.... sounds like a case of Tom Jones Syndrome."


>Man: "Oh no.... Is it serious?"


>Doctor: "Well, it's not unusual."

"Tom Jones Syndrome"

A man is in the waiting room at his Doctor's office and finally, the Doc arrives.

"Hello Jim what seems to be the problem today?"

Jim replies "Doc, you've gotta help me. I can't stop singing 'She's a Lady' by Tom Jones!"

The Doc says "oh yes, that is 'Tom Jones Syndrome'"

"Is it common?" Jim asks

"Well it's not unusual"


First post.

"How much to buy a singing ensemble?"

PRODUCER: You mean a choir?



"Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"

My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Smash Mouth songs.

I said Hey Now...

" doctor I can't stop singing What's New Pussycat."

" I think you might have Tom Jones syndrome."
" is it rare?" " it's not unusual."

I asked my mom why she forced me to go to to singing lessons as a kid

She said singing is a skill I need to a choir.

The Telegram

"Telegram"

Oh boy, I've always wanted a singing telegram!

"Oh, it's not a singing telegram, just a regular telegram"

Oh come on, you can sing it, can't ya?

"I really shouldn't"

How about for $5?

"Ugh... I don't think so"

$10?

"Sir..."

$20?! Come on man, I have wanted a singing telegram all my life. You got to.

"I don't feel comfortable..."

You stupid punk. OK... $50. Can you just sing the stupid telegram?!

"Ok, sir... you asked for it"

"Buh-duh bud-duh, buh-buh... your sister Rose is dead..."

At this time of the year....

....there's nothing I love more than sitting in front of a warm fire, mulled wine in hand, and singing Christmas songs until I slowly fall asleep.




And that's why I'm no longer a fireman...

What's the difference between modern pop and Christmas music?

One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs.

Some people told me to stop singing Wonderwall

I said maybe

My friend asked me to stop singing Wonderwall the other week

I said maybe

Dyslexic man walks into a bra

Whole joke in title! New era of convenience! In mother Russia, joke laughs at you!

***Bonus***, since you came in here anyway:

Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied.

Prison joke (NSFW)

First day in prison, a new young prisoner looks scared. Old guy looks at him and says "Are you scared? New guys meekly says "yes". Old guy says "it isn't bad. Do you like baseball?" New guy says "Yes". Old guy say "Every Monday, we have a softball game." Old guy asks "You like movies?". New guy says "Yes". Old guy says "Well every Tuesday, is movie night and they play first run movies." Old guy asks, "Do you like singing?". New guy says "yes". Old guy says, "every Wednesday, we have karaoke." Old guy asks, "Are you a homosexual?" New guy says "Nope." Old guy says, "you not going to like Thursdays."

What do you call it when a trickster god is singing just a little flat, but nobody really notices?

Low-key low key Loki.

Two guys were staying at a hotel on the 45th floor

Please excuse formatting, I'm on mobile.

As they were checking in, the receptionist said that the elevator was broken and that they could have a room on the first floor. The guys said that they would take the stairs and for the first 15 floors, they would sing songs, the next 15 floors they would tell funny stories and the last 15 floors would be sad stories.
So they start the walk, singing songs for the first 15, telling funny stories for the next 15, and finally, the reach the 30th floor and one guy says to the other, what's your sad story?
The guy responds, I don't have the room key

Dad comes home from a long day at work

He goes to his child who is singing and dancing around the house
Dad: hey baby, why you so happy?

Child: nothing I was thinking about today

Dad: what happened today?

Child: i think mom was about to go to heaven

Dad: wait.... she was what? What you u mean?

Child: well I was sitting in my room and I could hear mum screaming oh my god, I'm coming, I'm coming so I ran to her room to help her but luckily the postman was already on top of her holding her down.

A man goes to the doctor's office...

He tells the doctor "It's the strangest thing. Every time I see a cat, I can't help singing "What's new pussycat, woah-oh-oh".

The doctor says "I've heard of this before! It's called 'Tom Jones Syndrome'"

"Tom Jones Syndrome?" The man asks. "Is it common?"

"It's not unusual"

I got kicked out of my aunt's funeral for singing a song...

It was the Pink Panther theme. Dead aunt, dead aunt, dead aunt dead aunt dead aunt...

A man goes to the doctor...

... and he says, "Doc, I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I can't stop shaking my hips and singing Tom Jones songs."

To which the doctor replies, "Clearly sir, you have Tom Jones' Disease."

The man asks, "Is this common?"

The doctor answers, "It's not unusual."

The condemned prisoner stood before the firing squad.

The jail warden told him that as per custom, he was to be granted one final request, provided it was something straightforward and easily manageable.

The prisoner explained that he loved singing and requested to sing his favourite childhood song to completion.

The warden motioned to the firing squad to hold their fire until the song was completed.

The prisoner held his head up high and started to sing - "A billion bottles of beer on the wall, a billion bottles of beer..."

All 8 planets are singing Happy Birthday to the Sun and it sounds terrible.

Everyone turns to Earth and Earth says, "don't look at me, I'm not flat"

One time, I was out scuba diving when I suddenly heard beautiful voices singing in unison.

I was very surprised until I looked beneath me and realized it was coming from a choral reef.

I was having trouble finding a singing partner,

so I bought myself a duet yourself kit.

Why did the Chemist give up a singing career?

He could not hit any of the ketones.

A guy goes to see his doctor...

He says, "Doctor, I can't stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home."

The Doctor says, "Hmmm, it sounds to me like a case of Tom Jones Syndrome."

"Tom Jones Syndrome, is that common?"

"It's not unusual."

After sex, girl starts singing ABCDEFG

I just gave you HIV.

Only one man is happy about what's going on in Texas.

George Strait.
I can just picture him watching the news while singing "All my ex's live in Texas".

The Inmate on Death Row

An inmate is on death row, waiting to be executed. The guard comes to his cell and asks him what his last request is.

"Since, I don't particularly have a favorite food, I'm going to request singing a song instead, one time, and without interruptions," the inmate replied. "This song was one my dad taught me when I was a young child."

The guard nodded, and allowed him to sing his song.

The inmate takes a shaky breath and starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall..."

I like to yard work listening to Judas Priest...

......singing at the top of my lungs: RAKING THE LAWN RAKING THE LAWN!

Why was the cotton candy singing?

Grandma, hush, that's Nicki Minaj

My wife asked me if I would stop singing Oasis...

I said maybe....

40 blondes decided to tour London in a double Decker bus

The ones up on the top were terrified while the ones on the bottom were singing and partying. Finally the tour guide went up to the top to ask why they weren't happy like the others. One of the blondes said, "that's easy for you to say, you have a driver!"

Why did the cat stop singing?

Because it was out of tuna.

I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.

It's called The King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding Dong

What are the funniest singing jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Singing? Well, here are the best Singing puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Singing pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes