Sing Jokes
149 sing jokes and hilarious sing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article discusses Hop Sing's humorous singing style; the different types of sing jokes he performed with the song, choir and interruptions. Learn the secrets of this classic comedic style.
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Funniest Sing Short Jokes
Short sing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sing humour may include short song jokes also.
- My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing... Probably because it's a Dell
- I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
- My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking And then I saw her face...
- Businessman: How much will it cost to buy a large singing group? I need one for a party. Lady: Do you mean a choir?
Businessman: Okay, fine. How much does it cost to acquire a large singing group? - A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
- If we're saying Amen and Awomen now... Are we going to start having to sing hymns and herns?
- Bilbo Baggins wakes up and hears someone singing 'Don't Stop Believing'. It was an unexpected Journey.
- I got yelled at in LA today for singing Christmas Carols. I guess they don't wanna hear about how the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
- Why does helen keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing
- whenever my wife starts singing around the house I immediately go into the yard That way the neighbors know I'm not hitting her
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Sing One Liners
Which sing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sing? I can suggest the ones about sound and voice.
- What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
- The urge to sing The lion Sleeps Tonight is always just a whim away Aweem away
- My wife asked if I could stop singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe
- What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
- What do you call a pod of singing killer whales? An orcapella group
- Are Christian's allowed to sing eminem in church? Or do their Psalms get sweaty?
- How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
- What computer monitor sings the best? A Dell.
- My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment. It's a little flat.
- "Doctor, Doctor, I can't stop singing 'I Want It That Way'." Doctor: "Tell me why."
- My GF begged me to stop singing Linkin Park I tried so hard.
- What happens if you sing country music in reverse? You get your wife and job back.
- Song you sing to your dad on Father's Day? Glad You Came.
- Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs? Not Mariah Carey
- My girlfriend asked me to stop singing Smash Mouth songs. I said Hey Now...
Sing 2 Jokes
Here is a list of funny sing 2 jokes and even better sing 2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- MAN 1: "how do you get a church singing group?" MAN 2 "You mean a choir?"
MAN 1 "Ok fine, how do you _aquire_ a church singing group?" - What do you call 2 people singing in Hebrew? Jewet
:D - (This actually happened today at school) Student: sings a song, in a scratchy voice
Teacher: stop singing
Student: It wasn't me it was student #2
Teacher: student #2 can't sing that well
Hilarious Fun Sing Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about sing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sing pranks.
What does an actor sing in the shower?
Soap opera
When I'm Sad..
I sing, then realize my voice is worse than my problems.
Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal)
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.
I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine
A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".
What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?
The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."
The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."
I am single by choice.
Choice of 2 billion women.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Jeffrey d**... sing as he went to the refrigerator?
My Bologna had a first name.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Being single is like a vacuum cleaner:
its s**... when you're turned on
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone sing a Macklemore song out loud...
...I would have 20 dollars in my pocket
What singer is known for saying "Hit me baby one more time"
Rihanna
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?
Hi h**..., Hi h**..., it's off to work I go!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the doctors today
told him "I've got a problem, every time I finish m**... I sing the American national anthem".
The doctor said, "Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that".
How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
How do single people honor valentine's day?
By Celibating!
Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"...
Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"
When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"...
I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.
What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?
We Three Kims
Two ornithologists were listening to a bird call...
...they heard it sing "fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone". It took a pause and then sung "equalstwentyfour". They looked at each other slightly confused, when they heard it repeat the call:"fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone"..."equalstwentyfour". One ornithologist looked at the other and said "I don't think I've ever heard that bird before"; the other one answered, "me either, but I'm pretty sure it's a Fact Oriole".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Single? Give your s**... partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure.
I'm like a single electron...
Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.
What did the Mexican sing to his cheating girlfriend?
♪ I know I'm not the only Juan ♪
What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
^^Or ^^Nickelback. ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry.
What do the Greeks sing while at sea?
ρ ρ ρ your boat, gently down the stream...
If Sam McCringle can mingle with a single bag of Pringles in the time it takes to sing a single jingle, with how many Pringles did Sam McCringle mingle?
none... Pringles come in cans
What's the singular form of 'werewolves'?
I am a wolf
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"They said 'You'll never amount to anything, you aren't handsome enough to be a star, you're too short, you can't sing, you're not funny enough'"
"So anyway here's your medium Latte that'll be 3.79"
"If I had a Hi Fi" - the next single by The Palindromes.
Why was Ed single?
Because Sheeran away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.
Last request...
A blindfolded man is about to be put to death by firing squad. The general walks up to him and asks if he has a last request.
"I would like to sing the song of my people one last time."
The general agrees and takes a step back.
"One million bottles of beer on the wall! One million bottles of beer!"
Why do single men live longer than married men?
Because they want to.
2 Black Eyes
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened.
The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."
"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks.
"Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a canadian girl that can not sing?
Justin Bieber
What do you sing at a twins bat mitzvah?
Happy birthday two Jews
Why do single women take advice from other single women?
That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.
It's called The King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding d**...
When I was a single man, I had an incredible amount of spare time.
Since I started listening to full albums I'm always stuck in my room.
What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?
FINNISH HYMN!
Last request
The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.
As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.
The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."
I overheard my wife singing in the shower.
"You should go on America's Got Talent," I told her.
"I can't sing," she replied.
I said, "Exactly."
A single word can make a heart open.
That word is "scalpel."
Heard a giant Indian guy sing with the most beautiful voice in the world.
Turns out it was actually Dalip Singh
This girl told me she could sing like a harp
But she turned out to be a lyre.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling.
I don't think they trust my human catapult.
No actually I am not single
I am taken
For granted
I know every single digit of pi!
I just don't have them in the right order.
A single woman walks into a bar.
She goes straight up to the bartender and says, "I was told there would be a joke; that it would be hilarious; and that you would deliver the punchline."
The bartender looks up and says, "well aren't you miss informed."
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
A five year old read a story about a king
5yo: mom, i also want 3 wives, one to feed me, one to bathe me, one to sing for me.
mom: and which one will put you to sleep?
5yo: none, i'd still sleep with you.
mom: you're the best son ever. but where will your wives sleep then?
5yo: they can sleep with dad.
dad: you really are the best son ever.
I saw a single set of footprints in the sand...
"Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?"
"My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's."
A proud father
A man asks a friend to come to his house and listen to his daughter sing.
After she is done singing the proud father looks at his friend and says " well how do you like her what do think of her execution"
His friend looks over at him and says "man, I'm in favor of it"
If you're single and you know it
Use your hands
What do tortillas sing at birthday parties?
Fajita jolly good fellow.
I'm single by choice
Just not my choice.
When is "us" singular and 'i' plural?
When you're Roman.
Snoop Dogg goes to a vocal coach
The coach asks him "Can you sing very high?"
Snoop says "I can't sing if I'm not."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend told me to sing at his f**....
He wants people to know there's something worse then death.
There is a reason why I store the soap away when I sing in the shower
Otherwise it would be a soap opera
I used to single and broke, but I finally turned things around....
Now I'm broke and single
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I said to this Blonde Girl, I bet you a b**... I can sing a song with your name in it, she said OK you are on, my name is Susan.
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Susan, Happy Birthday to You. You're the 14th Blonde I have sang to this week.
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day?
Happy Independence Day!
Which singer has problems casting spells?
Barry Mana Low
What's the singular of "Women's Studies?"
Study abroad.
I hate singers that sing in unison.
But I wouldn't harmony.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make a duck sing the blues?
Stick it in an oven at 500 degrees until its bill withers.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and another to sing about how much he misses the old one.
When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs
It's the best place place to pick up chicks.
Singapore: *looking northward, tips fedora*
"M'laysia"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you sing when you kill Dracula's last clone?
"It's the final countdown"
If you're single, happy alentine's ay
You get no V or D
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A single father needed breast milk for his infant baby and so he asked others how he could get it.
A colleague of his who was lactating offered to give her milk to the baby.
She became his breast friend.
Why can't pirates sing the alphabet?
Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)
My brother's still single on star wars day.
Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.
