Sing Jokes
160 sing jokes and hilarious sing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article discusses Hop Sing's humorous singing style; the different types of sing jokes he performed with the song, choir and interruptions. Learn the secrets of this classic comedic style.
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Funniest Sing Short Jokes
Short sing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sing humour may include short song jokes also.
- My laptop was making funny noises today, it sounded like it was singing... Probably because it's a Dell
- I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
- My wife threatened to leave me because I wouldnt stop singing "I'm a believer". I thought she was joking And then I saw her face...
- Businessman: How much will it cost to buy a large singing group? I need one for a party. Lady: Do you mean a choir?
Businessman: Okay, fine. How much does it cost to acquire a large singing group? - A Genie once granted me one wish, so I said I just want to be happy . So now I'm living in a little cottage with 6 dwarfs, working in a mine and singing ?'Whistle while you work…….' ?
- My urge to sing "The lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away
- At any given time, the urge to sing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" is just a whim away... A whim away, a whim away.
- What is the name of a rock group that has four members yet none of them sing? Mount Rushmore
- If we're saying Amen and Awomen now... Are we going to start having to sing hymns and herns?
- Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to.
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Sing One Liners
Which sing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sing? I can suggest the ones about sound and voice.
- What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore.
- The urge to sing The Lion Sleeps Tonight is always just a whim away Aweem away
- My wife asked if I could stop singing 'Wonderwall' I said maybe
- My girlfriend begged me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe.
- What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
- What do you call a pod of singing killer whales? An orcapella group
- Which rock group has 4 men that can't sing? Mount Rushmore
- Nothing beats a beautiful woman that can also sing Well, except Chris Brown.
- My wife asked me to please quit singing Wonderwall in the shower I said maybe.
- What rock group has 4 guys who don't sing? Mount Rushmore...
- My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall I said maybe.
- Are Christian's allowed to sing eminem in church? Or do their Psalms get sweaty?
- How do you get a football player to stop resisting arrest? Sing the national anthem
- What computer monitor sings the best? A Dell.
- Why do people say amen instead of awomen at church? Because they sing hymns, not hers.
You Sing So Bad Jokes
Here is a list of funny you sing so bad jokes and even better you sing so bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My singing voice sounds bad in my tiny apartment. It's a little flat.
- Justin Timberlake is bad at geography He sings this song, "Crimea River", but I checked, and Crimea is a peninsula, not a river.
- My doctor warned me that constantly singing frank sinatra songs was bad for my health, but I just wouldn't listen. And now, the end is near.
- You stop bad music with a tuning fork. How do you stop bad singing? A pitchfork
- I opened the fridge today and the milk was singing a Michael Jackson song I think it's Bad
- Which calendar era did Michael Jackson most like to sing about? A)BC
B)AD - I was already on stage when I realized Take On Me was a bad karaoke song for me to sing... It was a real Aha moment.
- Fergie singing the National Anthem was so bad...
- Why did George Thorogood sing Bad to the Bone? Because he had osteoporosis
Sing 2 Jokes
Here is a list of funny sing 2 jokes and even better sing 2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- MAN 1: "how do you get a church singing group?" MAN 2 "You mean a choir?"
MAN 1 "Ok fine, how do you _aquire_ a church singing group?" - What do you call 2 people singing in Hebrew? Jewet
:D - (This actually happened today at school) Student: sings a song, in a scratchy voice
Teacher: stop singing
Student: It wasn't me it was student #2
Teacher: student #2 can't sing that well - Sinead O'Connor has offered to sing at Barry Chuckles f**.......... Nothing Compares 2 U 2 Me
Hilarious Fun Sing Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about sing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speech jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sing pranks.
What does an actor sing in the shower?
Soap opera
Sweet Baby Jokes (philanthropic concept reversal)
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
The trampoline doesn't look awfully cute in a sailor's outfit.
I saw your "a woman walks into a store joke" and this is mine
A woman walks into a pet store and sees three parrots. She asks the cashier how much is the first parrot and he says, "This parrot costs $500".
"$500? Why is it so expensive?"
"This parrot can dance, sing, say 300 words and can send emails over the web"
"really? wow! and how much for the second one?"
"$2000!"
"$2000?"
"Yes, that parrot can dance, sing, say 1500 words, send emails, browse the web, use twitter and type texts you dictate on a computer"
"Wow, fantastic and what about the third one?"
"The third one costs $200,000".
"$200,000 ???? What does he do to cost that much?"
"absolute nothing."
"Nothing? and why does it costs $200,000"
"because the other two parrots call him boss".
What's the difference between a Scotsman and the Rolling Stones?
The Rolling Stones sing "hey you... Get off of my cloud."
The Scotsman says, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe."
I am single by choice.
Choice of 2 billion women.
What did Jeffrey d**... sing as he went to the refrigerator?
My Bologna had a first name.
Being single is like a vacuum cleaner:
its s**... when you're turned on
If I had a dollar for everytime I heard someone sing a Macklemore song out loud...
...I would have 20 dollars in my pocket
Why does Beyonce sing "to the left, to the left"?
Because women have no rights.
*Sorry of this is rude/offensive and if its a repost, I just wanted to share.*
What singer is known for saying "Hit me baby one more time"
Rihanna
Single Ladies.
A woman was once buying a very large cucumber, some condoms, and some Vaseline. She gets up to the checkout counter and the cashier says, "I can tell you're single." The flirtatious woman replies, "Oh really, how can you tell that?" The man looks at her with a stern face and says, "Because you're ugly."
What song did the man who lived next door to a brothel sing on his way to work?
Hi h**..., Hi h**..., it's off to work I go!
I went to the doctors today
told him "I've got a problem, every time I finish m**... I sing the American national anthem".
The doctor said, "Don't worry, a lot of wankers sing that".
How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.
How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?
About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.
Song you sing to your dad on Father's Day?
Glad You Came.
All the single ladles
Joe invited his mother over for dinner one night. During the course of said dinner his mother couldn't help but notice the staggering beauty of Joe's roommate. She had been long suspicious of a relationship between them, and her beauty combined with the banter she had seen them share only made her all the more curious.
Joe noticed his mother's suspicion. "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you that Julie and I are just roommates."
A week later, Julie came to Joe and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can't seem to find the gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it on accident, do you?"
Joe agreed that it was a reasonable possibility, and wrote a letter to his mother inquiring about the ladle. It read, "I'm not saying you 'did' take the ladle, nor am I saying you 'did not' take the ladle,' but the fact is it's been missing since you came to dinner last week."
Several weeks later, a reply came.
"I'm not saying you 'do' sleep with Julie, nor am I saying you 'do not' sleep with Julie. The fact is if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the ladle by now."
How do single people honor valentine's day?
By Celibating!
Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"...
Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg"
Which four-member rock group doesn't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
When i was young my mom used to put food on the spoon.. and sing "train is coming, train is coming"...
I'd always eat cause i knew if i didn't, she wouldn't untie me from the railway line.
What Christmas Carol do they sing in North Korea?
We Three Kims
Two ornithologists were listening to a bird call...
...they heard it sing "fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone". It took a pause and then sung "equalstwentyfour". They looked at each other slightly confused, when they heard it repeat the call:"fourtimesthreetimestwotimesone"..."equalstwentyfour". One ornithologist looked at the other and said "I don't think I've ever heard that bird before"; the other one answered, "me either, but I'm pretty sure it's a Fact Oriole".
Single? Give your s**... partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure.
Single airline stewardesses are very lucky...
for their convenience all men are already sorted into different classes.
I'm like a single electron...
Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.
What do you call a rock group of 4 men who don't sing or play music?
Mount Rushmore.
^^Or ^^Nickelback. ^^I'm ^^so ^^sorry.
What do the Greeks sing while at sea?
ρ ρ ρ your boat, gently down the stream...
If Sam McCringle can mingle with a single bag of Pringles in the time it takes to sing a single jingle, with how many Pringles did Sam McCringle mingle?
none... Pringles come in cans
What's the singular form of 'werewolves'?
I am a wolf
"They said 'You'll never amount to anything, you aren't handsome enough to be a star, you're too short, you can't sing, you're not funny enough'"
"So anyway here's your medium Latte that'll be 3.79"
Why was Ed single?
Because Sheeran away.
Last request...
A blindfolded man is about to be put to death by firing squad. The general walks up to him and asks if he has a last request.
"I would like to sing the song of my people one last time."
The general agrees and takes a step back.
"One million bottles of beer on the wall! One million bottles of beer!"
Why do single men live longer than married men?
Because they want to.
2 Black Eyes
A man walks into work with two black eyes. His boss asks what happened.
The man says, "I was sitting behind a big woman at church. When we stood up to sing hymns, I noticed that her dress was caught in her crack, so I pulled it out. She turned around and punched me square in the eye."
"Where did you get the other shiner?" the boss asks.
"Well," the man says, "I figured she preferred it in the crack, so I pushed it back in."
Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand?
Because she uses the other one to sing
Why do single women take advice from other single women?
That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions
Every single morning I get hit by the same bike
It's a vicious cycle.
I just got a new doorbell that when the button is pressed has a gorilla singing about table tennis.
It's called The King Kong Ping Pong Sing Song Ding d**...
What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?
FINNISH HYMN!
Who's an all male rock group that doesn't sing?
Mount Rushmore.
Last request
The inmate on death row is scheduled to be put to death by firing squad. He doesn't request a last meal or anything special for his last day.
As he stands before the firing squad he says, "Actually, music is my life. One thing I would really like would be to sing my favorite song, one whole time through, with no interruptions."
The guard nods solemnly and tells him to go ahead.
The inmate starts, "One billion bottles of beer on the wall... ."
I overheard my wife singing in the shower.
"You should go on America's Got Talent," I told her.
"I can't sing," she replied.
I said, "Exactly."
This girl told me she could sing like a harp
But she turned out to be a lyre.
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
Who knows how to sing Mariah Carey songs?
Not Mariah Carey
You must be single.
A young woman was shopping at her local supermarket. She puts her items on the conveyer: A toothbrush, toothpaste, a half-gallon of 2% milk and a frozen pizza. The cashier calmly states, "You must be single." The woman looks at her items and back to the cashier, "Wow! How did you know that?" The cashier responds, "Because you you're ugly AF."
So far, not a single girl I've asked is interested in a fling.
I don't think they trust my human catapult.
No actually I am not single
I am taken
For granted
I know every single digit of pi!
I just don't have them in the right order.
A single woman walks into a bar.
She goes straight up to the bartender and says, "I was told there would be a joke; that it would be hilarious; and that you would deliver the punchline."
The bartender looks up and says, "well aren't you miss informed."
A man goes to jail.
A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal
"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked
"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"
Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing
The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."
Best son ever
5 year old son after reading a story of a king
Son : mom, I also want 3 wives, one will bathe , one will cook and one will sing
Mom : which one will put you to sleep?
Son: no mom, I will still sleep with you. Mom's eyes filled up with tears... God bless you son
Mom : who will the 3 wives sleep with?
Son : let them sleep with daddy
Daddy's eyes filled with tears... God bless you son
I saw a single set of footprints in the sand...
"Lord," I asked, "why is there but one set of footprints in the sand?"
"My child," he tenderly replied, "Those are Chris Christie's."
If you're single and you know it
Use your hands
I'm single by choice
Just not my choice.
Why did Helen Keller play the piano with one hand?
So she could sing with the other.
Snoop Dogg goes to a vocal coach
The coach asks him "Can you sing very high?"
Snoop says "I can't sing if I'm not."
My friend told me to sing at his f**....
He wants people to know there's something worse then death.
I used to single and broke, but I finally turned things around....
Now I'm broke and single
What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day?
Happy Independence Day!
Which singer has problems casting spells?
Barry Mana Low
I like my single malt how I like my girls.
15 years old and mixed up with coke.
(Just a joke, I would never condone mixing single malt and coke)
How many Country and Western singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five.
One to change the bulb and four to sing about how much they loved the old one.
What's the singular of "Women's Studies?"
Study abroad.
How many country musicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
One to change the bulb and 5 to sing about how much they miss the old one.
Happy father's day!
5 year old son after reading story of a king says to his mom:
Son: Mom, I also want 3 wives... one will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me
Mom: And which one will put you to sleep
Son: No mom, i will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.
Mom: God bless you son. But who will sleep with your 3 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with daddy.
Daddy's eyes filled up with tears. God bless you son !
Happy Father's day!
How many country singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it in and another to sing about how much he misses the old one.
When I'm single I go straight to the farm and collect eggs
It's the best place place to pick up chicks.
If you're single, happy alentine's ay
You get no V or D
What happens if you sing country music in reverse?
You get your wife and job back.
A single father needed breast milk for his infant baby and so he asked others how he could get it.
A colleague of his who was lactating offered to give her milk to the baby.
She became his breast friend.
Why can't pirates sing the alphabet?
Because they get lost at sea!
(My friend told me this idk if someone else posted before)
My brother's still single on star wars day.
Apparently he's been looking for love in Alderaan places.
