Sincerely Jokes

What are some Sincerely jokes?

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

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Sincerely,

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The Internet Provider

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

Letter from 7 to 6

Dear 6,

Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty nasty things together.

Sincerely,
7

I was reading my emails...

The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;

"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."

And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?

Curiosity killed the cat...

NASA sincerely apologizes...

Dear Fox News.....

I have yet to see any news about foxes.

Sincerely, Disappointed viewer.....

I lost my cat

If found, please return him, dead and alive.

Thanks,

Sincerely,
Erwin Shrodinger.

What's a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet service has been disconnected due to terms of service violations and excessive downloading. Please return modem and accessories to your nearest Comcast location.

Sincerely,

Comcast

Saudi TV Mistake

Saudi Arabia TV reported the Brussels attack 15 minutes earlier than it actually happened. Saudi TV sincerely apologizes for this innocent mistake.

A pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take-off...

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.

The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the mic, "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! IT'S BURNING!!!"

A ghostly silence reigned.

He gets back on the microphone and says, "I sincerely apologize for the incident, but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap.. you should see my pants!"

One passenger shouts back, "WHY DON'T YOU COME HERE AND SEE OURS!!!"

Dear Fork,

Dear Fork,

I know we haven't spoken since I ran away with Dish, but I thought you should know you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely,
Spoon

Dear Board of Education,

So are we.

Sincerely,
Students

Dear Diet Coke,

I feel like you're overreacting.

Sincerely,
Mentos

Faxs

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife:

Dear Wife:
You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18yr old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.
Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

Dear Husband:
You, too, are 54 years old and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18yr old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes INTO 54 more times than 54 goes INTO 18. Therefore, don't wait up!!
Your Wife

Dear Noah

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said you were leaving at 4:00.

Sincerely,
The Unicorns

I went on a date with a woman from Alaska...

Things were going pretty well, and we sincerely enjoyed each others company. Then at the end of the night, I tried to give her an Eskimo kiss, but I guess she wasn't really Inuit.

Dear Headphones,

Please stop having wild sex in my pockets.

Sincerely,

Person who is tired of untangling

Never forget.

Never forget that Americans can't even get the date the right way around.

Sincerely the rest of the world on 9/11.

Signs...

The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...

- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

- Your job interferes with your drinking.

- Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.

- You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive fifth food group.

- Twenty-four hours in a day, twenty-four beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not!

- You consider that having two hands and only one mouth is a drinking problem.

- You can normally focus better with one eye closed.

- The parking lot seems to have moved since you entered the bar.

- You fall off the floor sometimes.

- Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.

- Mosquitoes stumble about after attacking you.

- At weekly AA meetings, you forget your own name.

- Your idea of cutting back is less salt.

- The whole bar greets you when you come in.

- You don't recognise your wife unless you see her through the bottom of your glass.

- That damned pink elephant followed you home again!

What is a pirate's favourite letter?

Dear xxxxxxxxx

Your internet service has not been terminated for copyright infringement due to a lack of evidence.

Sincerely xxxxxxxx

A man asks his wife, "When I die, do you think you will marry again?"

The wife, looking at him in the eyes, answered sincerely, "No, I don't think I will."

"What would you do then?" The man asked.

"I would go live with my sister, of course." The wife replied and then, a moment later, she asked, "Would you marry after I die?"

"Me?" Said the husband. "No! I could never."

"Then what would you do? Who would you stay with?" The wife asked.

"Simple," The man said. "Your sister, of course."

Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist...

While you guys were having your discussion about the glass of water, I drank it!

Sincerely,
The Opportunist

Dear SoundCloud rappers who shout "aye you already know who it isssssss"

No we do not.

sincerely, the general population

Dear Media,

You're Fired!

Sincerely,
President Donald J. Trump
The 45th President of the United States of America

What do gophers do when they're thirsty?

They gopher a soda, where nobody hurts, nobody cries.
Sincerely Dad.

Why does Bill Gates use a mouse when he's fishing?

Because he sincerely believes it is the most effective.......

Click bait!

Press Release: "Big thank you to Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice"

Sincerely,
Tony Stewart's PR Team

Three Pastors and their secret problems...

Three pastors met and agreed to sincerely tell each other their problems which must be kept a secret between the three of them. The first pastor said; my problem is money l do steal even from the church offering. Please pray for me. The second pastor; mine is women. Whenever l see any woman my desire will be to go to bed with her, in fact l have slept with most of the church (female) members. Turning to the third pastor to hear his problem he started crying (it took his friends some effort to calm him). When they asked him to continue, he was still crying, he said my problem is gossiping, when we leave this place everybody will hear all what the two of you have just told me. Please pray for me! The two pastors fainted.

You'll never look at the word therapist the same way again.

Sincerely,

The Rapist.

Happy Jew Bear!

Sincerely,

The autocorrect team

How to make Sincerely jokes?

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