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Sin Jokes

145 sin jokes and hilarious sin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready for a wild ride of funny jokes about sin, including Divinity Original Sin, Lee Sin, cos sin, sin cos tan and more! Discover humorous takes on adultery, repentance, and more. If you're looking for a few laughs about sin, you won't want to miss out on this article!

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Funniest Sin Short Jokes

Short sin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sin humour may include short three sins jokes also.

  1. After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
  2. Jesus died for your sins. But did He stay dead?
    At most, He lost a weekend for your sins.
  3. Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.
  4. Jesus sacrificed his life for your sins… Except he came back…
    So, what did he really sacrifice?
    His weekend?
    Jesus sacrificed his weekend for your sins…
  5. Girl: Daddy, I'm sorry I've been a bad girl Priest: For the last time, it's 'forgive me Father, for I have sinned'.
  6. sin and cos are lying down next to each other on the beach when all of a sudden sin jumps on top of cos. cos shouts "what are you doing?" sin replies, "im trying to get tan."
  7. Punish me daddy,I've been a naughty girl "For the last time ,Brenda, it's 'Forgive me Father,I've sinned' "
  8. According to theology, if you commit 90 sins, you'll only get caught half the time. Because ….sin90 = cot45
  9. At church, last sunday …, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"
  10. Bad girl! She: I am sorry daddy, I have been a bad girl
    Preist: For the last time! It's "Forgive me father for I have sinned"!!

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Sin One Liners

Which sin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sin? I can suggest the ones about sins of nuns and confess.

  1. Sin city we all know is Las vegas, but do you know what Den city is? Mass over volume.
  2. If you sin 90 times you'll only be caught 45 times Because Sin 90 = Cot 45
  3. If you sin 90 times, you will only get caught 50% of the time... Because sin90 = cot45.
  4. Did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit? He used praypal.
  5. Pornhub premium users are like jesus They pay for our sins.
  6. My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
  7. If Jesus Christ died for our sins... then who died for our cos and tans?
  8. Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
  9. Why are christians not able to do trigonometry? Because Jesus took away their sin.
  10. If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why? Because Sin 90 = Cot 45!
  11. Mathematical joke - Why did Sin go to the beach? Cos he wanted a Tan
  12. What does a Catholic do before a confession? He sins, obviously.
  13. Geometry is the work of satan. It makes people sin.
  14. Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue.
  15. Which of the7 deadly sins are lions guilty of? Pride!!

Cos Sin Jokes

Here is a list of funny cos sin jokes and even better cos sin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Catholics fail trigonometry because they're afraid of sin Irish people fail trigonometry because they can't tan.
    Everyone else fails trigonometry just cos.
  • If Jesus died for our sins... Who died for cos and tan?
  • Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.
  • Why Do Mathematicians Never Go To The Beach? Because they got sin and cos to give them a tan.
  • Why are religious people afraid of Trigonometry? Cos they are afraid of Sin
  • Trigonometry Why can't Irish do trigonometry? They can't tan.
    Why can't Christians do trigonometry? They can't sin.
    Why can't the rest of us trigonometry? Just cos.
  • A lot of people think a world without sin would be perfect But there's only so much you can solve with cos and tan
  • Why was sin lying on top of cos at the beach? They were tanning.
  • Why was sin afraid of tan? Just cos.
  • Why was the priest afraid of trigonometry? cos sin

Sin Cos Tan Jokes

Here is a list of funny sin cos tan jokes and even better sin cos tan puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why can't you tan on a rainy day? Cos it's a sin
  • What happened when Sin and Cos stayed out in the sun for too long? They both became tanned gents!
  • Is it a sin to make math jokes? Cos if so, tan I'm sorry.
  • Why Don't Mathematicians Go to the Beach? Because all they need are sin and cos to get a tan.
  • My wife left me, Cosmo, after doing some trigonometry. She saw a tan gent and chose sin over Cos'.
  • sin asked "cos" what should they do tonight "tan" or "cot"?
  • Why is it difficult to find Sin and Tan? Just Cos.
  • Why didn't sin and tan go to the party? Just cos
  • I don't understand what the church has against trigonometry. And they only forgive sin but not cos or tan.
  • M∆tπ joke Apparently the longer mathematicians stay in the sun, the more violent they get.
    They sin cos tan.

Sin Ad Jokes

Here is a list of funny sin ad jokes and even better sin ad puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A poster at the door of a church said, "If you are tired of your sins, come in." Someone used lipstick to write her number beneath it and added "Call me, if not."

Original Sin Jokes

Here is a list of funny original sin jokes and even better original sin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • "Here lies Tom B. Stone" "He hated puns till' his dying day."
    Source: Divinity: Original Sin

Laughable Sin Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about sin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cos sin jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sin pranks.

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

War

A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.
Well, answered the Priest, That's not a sin.
But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed. The Dutchman said.
The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.
The Dutchman exclaimed Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.
What is it son? ask the priest.
The Dutchman whispered Do I have to tell him the war is over?

Yesterday I sinned with an 18year old girl.

Man to his priest: Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.
The priest: Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.
Man: And that frees me from my sin?
Priest: No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.

A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...

Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"

A man went to confession.

"Forgive me, father", he cried. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic."
"Well, that is not a sin?" Said the priest
"No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent."
"That is not proper, but your life was at risk, so you are forgiven."
"Thank you, father. But could I ask you another question?"
"Of course, my son."
"Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over?"

Do you know what Sin City is?

Person 1: Do you know what Sin City is?
Person 2: Las Vegas
Person 1: Do you know what the Windy City is?
Person 2: Chicago
Person 1: Do you know what Den City is?
Person 2: ...
Person 1: Mass over volume

Since there have been a few math jokes lately...

Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.

The sin of Gluttony

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

Lying

A minister told his congregation, Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.

A man went to confession (again)

"Forgive me, father", he said. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic."
"Well, that is not a sin," said the priest
"No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent."
"That is not at all proper, but your lives were at risk, so you are forgiven."
"Thank you, father. But may I ask you another question?"
"Of course you can."
"Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over?"

A preacher tells his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. "

"To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, the preacher asks who read it, with every hand going up. The preacher smiles and says, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

A physicist was in Las Vegas

Tour guide: Las Vegas is also known as Sin City.
Physicist: Do you know what Den City is though?
Tour guide: No, I don't know.
Physicist: Mass over volume.
I'll see myself out.

"Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .

"I have to confess that last night I committed the sin of fornication. Six times."
The Mother Superior thought a minute, then sliced up a lemon and handed it to the novice.
"Here, my child," she said. "Take and eat all of this."
"Will this absolve me of my sin?" asked the novice.
"No," said the Mother Superior. "But it will get that smile off your face!"

A doctor goes to confession...

"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
The priest replies, "Tell me your sins my child."
The doctor says, "I slept with five of my patients. I know it was wrong, not mention unethical. Since it happened, I've barely been able to sleep and I have no appetite. I feel so guilty."
The priest consoles him saying, "You must learn to forgive yourself."
The man replies, "But how can I? How can I return from this sin?"
The priest says, "You're not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be last."
The man nods in consent while the priest absolves him. As they exit the confessional, the priest looks at the doctor and says, "I hate to ask, but seeing as you're a doctor, do you think that you could take a look at my t**..., it's been sore for days."
The man replies, "I'd love to father, but I'm not that type of doctor. I'm a veterinarian."

Bernie Sanders isn't a Messiah.

He's just a Jewish guy sacrificing himself to save millions from their own sin and ignorance while being insulted the entire time. Clearly no basis for a religion.

If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach?

Trigonometry. There's a lot of sin involved.

A men goes to a priest...

-Father, I am a sinner...-
-So, what you've dove?-
-I hid a jew in my basement during the second world war.-
-But this one isn't a sin, it's a very honorable thing.-
-I made him pay 300 pounds a month-
-Well, those are a lot of money but you saved him so you can go and may God be with you.-
-Ok then but... should i tell him that the war is over?-

This got me

A preacher says to his congregation Next week I will talk about the sin of lying. To help you understand, I'd like all of you to read Mark 17.
The next Sunday, the preacher asks who'd read it, with every hand going up. He smiles and says Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.

"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone," Jesus said.

As the stones began to fly, Jesus realized he might have made a mistake by including the local narcissists.

God's punishment

God gave women labor pains and monthly bleeding as the punishment for the original sin. Men's punishment is to be with his wife and listen to her problems. That's why god hates homosexuals. They found a loophole in this system.

[garden of eden]


**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?
**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.
**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?
**Eve:** 10
**Snake:** Thanksss
**Adam:** How did you calculate that?
**Eve:** Oh no.

What do you call a Jamaican man who has committed some sin?

A cinnamon.
It's turrible I know, but I thought of it at the grocery store and had to share it.

If you commit 90 sins, you will only be caught half the time.

Because sin 90 = cot 45

About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess.

So he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a r**... in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?

I wish Christian guys would make up their minds, one minute they are saying homosexuality is a sin and that s**... is evil

The next they are telling me how good it felt to let Jesus enter them.

What do you call a flock of crows who are resisting the urge to sin?

*A tempted m**...*

A minister told his congregation:

"Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Nearly every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Leviticus

One shabbes, Rabbi Bloom told his congregation, "Next week, my sermon will be all about the sin of lying and to help you understand it better I would like you all to read Leviticus chapter 28 before next week."
The following shabbes, at the start of his sermon, Rabbi Bloom asked his congregation, "How many of you have read Leviticus 28?" Every hand went up.
Rabbi Bloom smiled and said, "Leviticus has only 27 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

THE SIN OF LYING

A minister told his congregation, Next week, I plan to
preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my
sermon, I want you to read Mark 17.
The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon,
the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know
how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The
minister smiled and said, Mark has only sixteen chapters, I
will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.
Ha Ha Ha Haa

What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?

The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious b**....

An 80 year old man walks into a confessional booth

He tells the priest that he just had a t**... with two 20 year old girls. Father said "I'm glad you confessed, adultery is a sin, and your penance is to say five Hail Maries." The 80 year old replied, "I've never said the Hail Mary, I'm Jewish."
The good father asked, "Then why did you come here to tell me this?"
"I'm 80 years old and just had a t**...," he replied. "I'm telling everyone"

What is the greatest sin of all?

Sin 90°

How do triangles communicate?

Sin language

7 deadly sins

Eating too much cake is a sin of gluttony, but eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero.

A good ole 90's joke.

A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.

"Do you know what sin city is?"

"Yeah, that's Las Vegas"
"But do you know what Den City is"
"No"
"Mass over volume"

Jesus and the woman taken in adultery

The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"
All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.
"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony

However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero

I have a body made for sin...

Too bad this sin is gluttony...

A religious old lady prayed everyday for wealth...

She had lived a life free of sin and had suffered greatly through no fault of her own. Every day she went to her local church and prayed:
"God, i have been all my life, please, let me win the lottery"
Every day for many years she did this, until one day, the church roof split open and a booming voice commanded:
"WELL AT LEAST MEET ME HALFWAY AND BUY A TICKET!"

Two Baptist ministers were eating lunch when one went on and on about young people having s**... before marriage. He said, God forbids it. It is a sin and I didn't have s**... with my wife until our wedding night. How about you?

The other minister thinks and then says, I don't think so, what was her maiden name?

Jesus heard that...

there was going to be a stoning at the edge of town, so he headed that way.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
The crowd goes silent.
Suddenly, a rock comes flying from the back of the crowd and BOOM, knocks out the offender.
Jesus waves his arm to part the crowd, revealing the thrower:
"Mom! I asked you not to come to these things!"

Cast the first stone...

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

Why is it that when you commit crimes 90 times you will only get caught 45 times ?

Because sin 90 = cot 45

If Jesus died for our sin...

Who died for our cosine and tangent?

What did the triangle say to the preacher?

Forgive me father for I have sin().

Why did god make homosexuality a sin?

Because His boyfriend thought that would make it hotter.

I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of hail Marys before committing a sin

Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal

So, the Muslim word for sin is haram...

... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae?
I'll see myself out.

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.

She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."

Betsy DeVos wants to eliminate trigonometry from school math curricula

because it teaches our children to sin

Are you opposite over hypotenuse?

Because you're making me wanna sin

Golfing on the sabbath

One day, a man named David decides to skip church to play golf. Up in heaven, Saint Peter sees this and reports David's sin to God. God says, "I will punish him accordingly." David plays a perfect game and goes home really pleased. Saint Peter sees this and goes to God and says, "What gives? You said you would punish him, yet he gets a perfect score." God smiles and says, "Who can he tell?"

A thief steals trigonometric functions sin and cos.

A thief steals trigonometric functions sin and cos, the police are now after him, he goes to a beach and digs up some mud, he first puts sin over cos but he doesn't want tan so he puts cos over sin and gets cot by police.

Why are christians bad at math?

Because they can't sin.

If being s**... is sin

then I am going straight to heaven.

What is bread's most deadly sin?

Gluteny

Did you hear about the Catholic man who brought a bird into a confessional?

He said he had committed a cardinal sin.

A boy goes into confession...

The boy tells the priest, "Father I'm afraid I've been with a loose girl."
"Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?"
"Oh I can't say."
"Was it Mary Jane?"
"No Father."
"Adalina Mozarelli?"
"My lips are sealed."
"How about Cindy King"
"I can never say."
"Oh come on boy, I'll find out soon enough. It was Tina King wasn't it!?"
"No."
"It has to be Tracy Cummings though!"
"Father I will never tell you."
"Ok fine, but for your sin you can't be alter boy for four months."
"Ok, Father"
The boy leaves and his friend asks, "So what'd you get?"
The boy responds, "Five good leads, and a four month vacation!"

Did you know it's a sin to have s**... before marriage?

Except if you do it d**......as all dogs go to heaven.

Why are monks bad at trigonometry?

They dont sin

World War 2

Man: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done?"
Man: I harbored Jewish people in my basement to keep them safe from the Germans."
Priest: "That's not a sin. That's a good deed."
Man: "But I have been charging them one dollar a night until the war is over."
Priest: "That's perfectly okay."
Man: "I haven't told them the war is over."

jokes about sin