Sin Jokes
145 sin jokes and hilarious sin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about sin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for a wild ride of funny jokes about sin, including Divinity Original Sin, Lee Sin, cos sin, sin cos tan and more! Discover humorous takes on adultery, repentance, and more. If you're looking for a few laughs about sin, you won't want to miss out on this article!
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Funniest Sin Short Jokes
Short sin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The sin humour may include short three sins jokes also.
- After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
- Jesus died for your sins. But did He stay dead?
At most, He lost a weekend for your sins. - Eating too much cake is the deadly sin of gluttony But not eating too much pie, because the sin of pi is always zero.
- Girl: Daddy, I'm sorry I've been a bad girl Priest: For the last time, it's 'forgive me Father, for I have sinned'.
- sin and cos are lying down next to each other on the beach when all of a sudden sin jumps on top of cos. cos shouts "what are you doing?" sin replies, "im trying to get tan."
- At church, last sunday …, the preacher said "Jesus died for your sins". At that point, a man got up, furious and shouted "Seriously, man? I was reading that book!"
- My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... "You see, son, we color easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
- My wife asked me why I never go to Confession. I told her I just clear my browser history when I want to wash away my sins.
- If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach? Trigonometry. There's a lot of sin involved.
- A woman goes to confession... The priest says to her "For the last time Becky it's forgive me father for I have sinned." "Not punish me daddy I've been a bad girl."
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Sin One Liners
Which sin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with sin? I can suggest the ones about confess and cos sin.
- Sin city we all know is Las vegas, but do you know what Den city is? Mass over volume.
- If you sin 90 times you'll only be caught 45 times Because Sin 90 = Cot 45
- Did Jesus pay for our sins with cash or credit? He used praypal.
- My maths teacher never goes outside I can tell, cos there's no sin of his tan
- If Jesus Christ died for our sins... then who died for our cos and tans?
- Why did I divide sin by tan? Just cos.
- Mathematical joke - Why did Sin go to the beach? Cos he wanted a Tan
- Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil? Because that would be a sin-tax issue.
- Which of the7 deadly sins are lions guilty of? Pride!!
- What do you call a devil, that can't swim? Sin-king
- What is the greatest sin of all? Sin 90°
- How do triangles communicate? Sin language
- Why are religious people afraid of Trigonometry? Cos they are afraid of Sin
- I have a body made for sin... Too bad this sin is gluttony...
- I just found out Pride is one of the seven sins. Good thing I'm so amazingly humble.
Cos Sin Jokes
Here is a list of funny cos sin jokes and even better cos sin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan.
- A lot of people think a world without sin would be perfect But there's only so much you can solve with cos and tan
- Why was sin afraid of tan? Just cos.
- Why was the priest afraid of trigonometry? cos sin
- I asked my religious friend why he doesn't like math He replied "cos it's a sin"
- Why can't you tan on a rainy day? Cos it's a sin
- Hey girl, are you an angle? Cos I'm sinning to know you.
- What happened when Sin and Cos stayed out in the sun for too long? They both became tanned gents!
- Is it a sin to make math jokes? Cos if so, tan I'm sorry.
- Why does God hate Trig? Cos it's a Sin
Sin Cos Tan Jokes
Here is a list of funny sin cos tan jokes and even better sin cos tan puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why Don't Mathematicians Go to the Beach? Because all they need are sin and cos to get a tan.
- My wife left me, Cosmo, after doing some trigonometry. She saw a tan gent and chose sin over Cos'.
- sin asked "cos" what should they do tonight "tan" or "cot"?
- Why is it difficult to find Sin and Tan? Just Cos.
- Why didn't sin and tan go to the party? Just cos
- Being a trigonometry teacher has it's pros and cons.... You may live in sin, but that's all cos you get rich, have a nice life and you can even get an awesome tan.
- Christ died to absolve us of sin... Now if only he'd come back and die two more times to get rid of cos and tan.
- When a man wants to get a tan he goes under the Sun. When a cos wants to get a tan... ...He goes under the sin.
- Why did the trigonometric function go to the tanning salon? Cos sin tan
(Because suntan) - Why did the sunbather commit a sin? Sin is the cos of tan
Sin Ad Jokes
Here is a list of funny sin ad jokes and even better sin ad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A poster at the door of a church said, "If you are tired of your sins, come in." Someone used lipstick to write her number beneath it and added "Call me, if not."
Original Sin Jokes
Here is a list of funny original sin jokes and even better original sin puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Here lies Tom B. Stone" "He hated puns till' his dying day."
Source: Divinity: Original Sin
Laughable Sin Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about sin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sin cos tan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make sin pranks.
Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.
"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."
War
A Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest.
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a Jewish man in my attic.
Well, answered the Priest, That's not a sin.
But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed. The Dutchman said.
The Priest replied, I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause.
The Dutchman exclaimed Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question.
What is it son? ask the priest.
The Dutchman whispered Do I have to tell him the war is over?
Yesterday I sinned with an 18year old girl.
Man to his priest: Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.
The priest: Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.
Man: And that frees me from my sin?
Priest: No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy named Bob dies and goes to h**...
Before him stands the Devil.
"Hello, Bob. Welcome to h**..." the Devil says. "Now there are seven levels of h**... and since your only sin was cheating on a science test in third grade, you'll be moved to level 1"
"Okay, that doesn't sound so bad" Says Bob
"Level 1 is the hottest level because heat rises. You would know that if you studied for your science test, Bob"
A man went to confession.
"Forgive me, father", he cried. "During WWII I had someone in hiding in my attic."
"Well, that is not a sin?" Said the priest
"No, I know that," said the man, "but I made him pay rent."
"That is not proper, but your life was at risk, so you are forgiven."
"Thank you, father. But could I ask you another question?"
"Of course, my son."
"Do you think that I should tell him that the war is over?"
Since there have been a few math jokes lately...
Q1. What do you get if you cross a mountain lion with a mountain goat?
A1. ||mountain lion|| ||mountain goat|| sin θ
Q2. What do you get when you cross a mountain lion with a mountain climber?
A2. You can't - the mountain climber is a scalar.
Lying
A minister told his congregation, Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17. The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.
A physicist was in Las Vegas
Tour guide: Las Vegas is also known as Sin City.
Physicist: Do you know what Den City is though?
Tour guide: No, I don't know.
Physicist: Mass over volume.
I'll see myself out.
"Mother Superior," said the novice nun . . .
"I have to confess that last night I committed the sin of fornication. Six times."
The Mother Superior thought a minute, then sliced up a lemon and handed it to the novice.
"Here, my child," she said. "Take and eat all of this."
"Will this absolve me of my sin?" asked the novice.
"No," said the Mother Superior. "But it will get that smile off your face!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A doctor goes to confession...
"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
The priest replies, "Tell me your sins my child."
The doctor says, "I slept with five of my patients. I know it was wrong, not mention unethical. Since it happened, I've barely been able to sleep and I have no appetite. I feel so guilty."
The priest consoles him saying, "You must learn to forgive yourself."
The man replies, "But how can I? How can I return from this sin?"
The priest says, "You're not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be last."
The man nods in consent while the priest absolves him. As they exit the confessional, the priest looks at the doctor and says, "I hate to ask, but seeing as you're a doctor, do you think that you could take a look at my t**..., it's been sore for days."
The man replies, "I'd love to father, but I'm not that type of doctor. I'm a veterinarian."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Geometry is the work of satan.
It makes people sin.
A men goes to a priest...
-Father, I am a sinner...-
-So, what you've dove?-
-I hid a jew in my basement during the second world war.-
-But this one isn't a sin, it's a very honorable thing.-
-I made him pay 300 pounds a month-
-Well, those are a lot of money but you saved him so you can go and may God be with you.-
-Ok then but... should i tell him that the war is over?-
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Let he who is without sin throw the first stone," Jesus said.
As the stones began to fly, Jesus realized he might have made a mistake by including the local narcissists.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
[garden of eden]
**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?
**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.
**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?
**Eve:** 10
**Snake:** Thanksss
**Adam:** How did you calculate that?
**Eve:** Oh no.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess.
So he went to his priest, "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWII I hid a r**... in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I wish Christian guys would make up their minds, one minute they are saying homosexuality is a sin and that s**... is evil
The next they are telling me how good it felt to let Jesus enter them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a flock of crows who are resisting the urge to sin?
*A tempted m**...*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey have in common?
The House of Cards they had built in Hollywoodland has now made them The Usual Suspects in Sin City. This was supposed to be LA Confidential but apparently they couldnt find Consenting Adults. The American Beauty of this is that they will now forever be Inglorious b**....
A good ole 90's joke.
A man dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives at the pearly gates he notices clocks with names hanging all over the place. The man asks god "What are all the clocks for?" God responded "Every time the clock makes a full rotation, someone on earth commits a sin." The man looked around at all the clocks and out of curiosity asked god "Where's Bill Clinton's clock?" God just pointed up to the ceiling fan.
Jesus and the woman taken in adultery
The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"
All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.
"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"
A religious old lady prayed everyday for wealth...
She had lived a life free of sin and had suffered greatly through no fault of her own. Every day she went to her local church and prayed:
"God, i have been all my life, please, let me win the lottery"
Every day for many years she did this, until one day, the church roof split open and a booming voice commanded:
"WELL AT LEAST MEET ME HALFWAY AND BUY A TICKET!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Baptist ministers were eating lunch when one went on and on about young people having s**... before marriage. He said, God forbids it. It is a sin and I didn't have s**... with my wife until our wedding night. How about you?
The other minister thinks and then says, I don't think so, what was her maiden name?
Jesus heard that...
there was going to be a stoning at the edge of town, so he headed that way.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
The crowd goes silent.
Suddenly, a rock comes flying from the back of the crowd and BOOM, knocks out the offender.
Jesus waves his arm to part the crowd, revealing the thrower:
"Mom! I asked you not to come to these things!"
Cast the first stone...
Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.
"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.
"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.
"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"
What did the triangle say to the preacher?
Forgive me father for I have sin().
I asked a priest why I couldn't just say a bunch of hail Marys before committing a sin
Apparently the church isn't a fan of anything Pre-Marytal
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So, the Muslim word for sin is haram...
... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae?
I'll see myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sue reports for jury duty as ordered.
She promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudiced. "I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
Betsy DeVos wants to eliminate trigonometry from school math curricula
because it teaches our children to sin
Are you opposite over hypotenuse?
Because you're making me wanna sin
Golfing on the sabbath
One day, a man named David decides to skip church to play golf. Up in heaven, Saint Peter sees this and reports David's sin to God. God says, "I will punish him accordingly." David plays a perfect game and goes home really pleased. Saint Peter sees this and goes to God and says, "What gives? You said you would punish him, yet he gets a perfect score." God smiles and says, "Who can he tell?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If being s**... is sin
then I am going straight to heaven.
What is bread's most deadly sin?
Gluteny
Did you hear about the Catholic man who brought a bird into a confessional?
He said he had committed a cardinal sin.
A boy goes into confession...
The boy tells the priest, "Father I'm afraid I've been with a loose girl."
"Hmm, ok son, what was the girls name?"
"Oh I can't say."
"Was it Mary Jane?"
"No Father."
"Adalina Mozarelli?"
"My lips are sealed."
"How about Cindy King"
"I can never say."
"Oh come on boy, I'll find out soon enough. It was Tina King wasn't it!?"
"No."
"It has to be Tracy Cummings though!"
"Father I will never tell you."
"Ok fine, but for your sin you can't be alter boy for four months."
"Ok, Father"
The boy leaves and his friend asks, "So what'd you get?"
The boy responds, "Five good leads, and a four month vacation!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know it's a sin to have s**... before marriage?
Except if you do it d**......as all dogs go to heaven.
Why are monks bad at trigonometry?
They dont sin
Do Catholics fail trigonometry...
cause they are afraid of sin?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mary Magdalene is about to be s**... for adultry
Just as the crowd was about to start throwing rocks, Jesus walks up and says "let him who is without sin cast the first stone." Nobody moves, but then a stone comes flying out from the crowd and hits Mary right in the face. Jesus turns to see who threw the stone and says "I told you not to bother me when I'm working mother!"
Why did the calculator pay $100 for a pack of cigarettes?
There was a sin tax error.
[8.5]
What's difference between Bible and Trigonometry?
Eating Apple was greatest sin while in Trigonometry it's 1.
Why does Jesus always go first when the disciples go Curling?
Because they let he who is without sin cast the first stone!
They say I have a body built for Sin
That sin being Sloth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
he can't because he is Jewish
a man saw a priest and said: 'Father i have sinned!' the priest asked what the mans sin was. the man said: 'i'm 86 yrs old and i had s**... with a 26 yr old girl!' the priest told the man to go home and say 6 hail Mary's. the man says he can't because he is Jewish. the priest asks: 'so why are you telling me?' the man says: 'I'm telling everyone!'
Paedophilia
It's a cardinal sin.
Did you hear about the cow tipper that got attacked by a bull?
He got a taste of his own meadow sin.
They say that drinking is a sin, but . . .
He who drinks sleeps.
He who sleeps doesn't sin.
He who doesn't sin is holy.
Therefore, he who drinks is holy.
If you want to go to heaven, make sure your sin count is divisible by 360.
Because sin(360)=sin(0).
What's the difference between Sin and Shame?
It's a sin to put it in, and a shame to pull it out.
Why did the maths priest cross the road?
He needed to get away from the house of sin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blind man asks Jesus to heal him
"Behold. I will heal your blindness," Jesus says, "and thy m**... shall cease."
"Is m**... a sin? Is it the cause of my blindness?" asks the old man.
Jesus replied, "No, m**... is not a sin, but I'm tryiing to do an eye exam here."
A mathematician goes to a confession booth...
He says to the priest: 'Father, I have a sin to confess'
The priest says: 'Don't worry, tell me and the lord will see if he can forgive you'
The mathematician says: 'I used the opposite side instead of the adjacent to calculate cos.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus Christ saw every sin imaginable...
Meaning he saw some dude blasting rope to Waluigi h**... and still decided to save humanity. What a absolute legend.
What did the car dealer ask the oscilloscope?
sin or cosine?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian went to church to admit his sins.
When the father opened the confessional's window, man stated talking:
-Father, I have done sin. During ww2 in my neighborhood lived a very beautiful Jewish girl, who asked if I could hide her from the Germans.
Father answered:
-Well, that's bravery and not sin.
The man continued:
-But it wasn't just that. I started to collect "rent" in form of s**.... First once a week, but eded up to every day and twice on Sundays.
Father said:
-That time meny people surely did the same. Thus your sins are forgiven and you are free to go home.
The man still continued:
-Father, I still have one question. Should I tell the woman, that the war is over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mathematician spent his whole life trying to triangulate the location of h**....
He finally did cos sin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... is a sin...
But from the other side its cos I said so.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It's Good Friday. That means if you don't sin,
Then Jesus died for nothing.
