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Simply The Best Jokes

23 simply the best jokes and hilarious simply the best puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about simply the best that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Best Short Simply The Best Jokes

Short simply the best jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The simply the best humour may include short absolute best jokes also.

  1. A reporter interviewed a 103-year-old woman. "And what is the best thing about being 103?" the reporter asked.
    She simply replied, "No peer pressure."
  2. The best method of passive aggressiveness is simply to include the person's name at the end of your sentence, Kathy.
  3. A reporter was interviewing a 104 year old woman. "And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?", the reporter asks.
    She simply answers, "No peer pressure."
  4. Who is simply the best worker in the red light district? The deuteranopic girl, she just gives the green light for anything.
  5. My friends tell me the best jokes are the ones where you make fun of yourself. But those are simply the only ones I can come up with.
  6. Last year Chuck Norris won the prize for best float at the Carnival in Rio simply by walking in the parade wearing his cowboy hat.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about simply the best can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of simply the best puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Simply The Best One Liners

Which simply the best one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with simply the best? I can suggest the ones about absolutely amazing and real good.

  1. My sock collection is by far the best It is simply unmatched
  2. 2018 will be the best year yet! simply because it couldn't possibly get worse

Simply The Best Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about simply the best you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean top notch jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make simply the best prank.

caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend.

I caught my wife of 7 years cheating with my best friend, whom I had known since preschool. I can't believe they'd do this to me.
Listen, I'm not a bad guy. I'll grant you that my wife was upset that I was always beating her, and my best friend? He was simply jealous of how much money and property I had.
At my wit's end, I was so angry that when I caught them, I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.

Sunday Morning s**...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

An old joke I once heard from a friend, never fails to crack me up

A homeless man finds a shiny lamp by the road while trying to find a place to pass the night.
Picking it up, the man was just about to shove it in his bag when a genie appeared out of it.
"I can grant you one wish." Said the genie.
Not wanting to waste the wish, the man spent much time to think of the best wish.
"I want an apartment, make it a big one and make sure it's in downtown." The man said.
The genie shook his head.
"I can't fulfill that wish."
The man was disappointed. "I thought you were supposed to be able to do anything!"
The genie simply said: "Do you think I would be living in this lamp if I could afford a place of my own?"

Orange Jews

Three of my best friends and I are Jewish in a school with a total of probably 20 Jewish kids (so everyone know we are Jewish). This year for Halloween, the four of us are all going dressed in orange morph suits. If anyone asks what we are, we will simply respond with "orange juice."

Queen of England

Obama was talking to the queen of England and he asked her how she runs her country so well. The queen replies quite simply that she chooses the best people to run it. Obama considers this for a moment and then asks, "how do you ensure that they are the best people for the job?" The queen answers that she quizzes them, and as an example she calls in Tony Blair. She asks him, "your parents have a child; it's not your brother it's not your sister, who is it?" Tony replies "well of course, it's me". Obama thinks this is smart so he repeats the question to Joe Biden. Biden runs around Washington all day trying to find an answer but no one can figure it out. Finally he comes to the Attorney General and asks him, "your parents have a child; it's not your brother it's not your sister, who is it?" The general replies "of course, it's me". So Biden goes back to Obama and says "it's general so and so", Obama replies, "no you idiot, it's Tony Blair"!

Sunday Morning s**...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

The Music Major

A student has a music major final due, he must compose a symphony.
Out of time, he decides to go to the library to find sheet music and simply write it backwards and submit it as his own. He looks through the stacks and finds one from his very professor when he was a student. He copies it down very fast and doesnt even have a look before substituting it.
Days later, he gets an F. He asks his professor if the music was no good. The professor says it's the best he's ever heard, but wasn't sure why he thought he could get away with submitting Beethoven's 9th symphony.

Morning s**...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble. "Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

So 4 guys are talking in a bar.

So 4 guys are talking in a bar, one leaves to go to the restroom while the others continue to talk. They start talking about the success of their sons, the first man says "my son's car company is so successful he was able to get his best friend a new Ferrari for his birthday." The second man boasts "well my son's real estate company is so successful he was able to give his best friend a new house for his birthday." The third man says "my son's airline company is so successful he was able to give his best friend a private jet for his birthday. The forth man comes back from the restroom and asks what everyone is talking about, they reply back "we're just talking about the success of our sons." The forth man says "oh, my son is a gay stripper," the other three men feel sorry for him and apologize, but the forth man simply says "don't worry about it, it's not that bad, for his birthday he got a new ferrari, house, and a private jet from his three boyfriends."

A captain is sent to a new company....

A sergeant shows him around. He points to the firing range and says, " This is where the men practice their shooting. It's also a great way to get rid of stress". The captain nods, then the sergeant points to the cafeteria and says, " This is where the men eat. It's also a great way to get rid of stress". After most of the tour is done, the captain notices a camel tied to a post. He asks " What's that camel for?" the sergeant answers " Well the men use to the camel to g.. " The captain interrupts him and says, " I get it, to get rid of stress, that's a bit disgusting if you ask me." The sergeant then brings him to his office, finishing the tour. A few months pass by, and the captain is getting s**... frustrated, he asked the sergeant to bring the camel in his office. He then proceeds to have s**... with the camel the best way he could. When he was done he looks at the sergeant, who had a look of surprise in his eyes, and says "What? you never seen any of the men do this before?". The sergeant simply answers " Well, usually the men use the camel to go to town and find a h**.... It's great way to get rid of stress".

The best salesman in the world

The boy went into the mall to get a job. He told the management that he was the world's best salesman. They gave him a job as a seller, but expected profits from day one.
On Saturday evening the manager came down and asked how many customers he had served today. The boy said he had helped one customer. The director was disappointed with the boy and said he already had sellers today who had done much better than him. The manager asked the boy how much the sale was worth, and the boy answered "$93,100.25". The manager was very confused and asked the boy what he had sold.
The boy: "I started off with a $0.25 fish hook which got him looking at the fishing poles. I set him up with the $100 bait master and asked him where he was gonna fish, I told him about that great lake down south but told him he'd need a car with all wheel drive to make it up the rough terrain so we got him into the $33,000 SUV we had on the lot, when he asked about boat rentals I thought I had lost him, but I ended up selling him the $60,000 riverking pro to top it off."
The manager steps back in disbelief and says "Wow, you sold that all to a guy who came in for a fish hook?
"No" the boy said "The customer came in and told he had to buy tampons for his wife. I simply told him the weekend was already wrecked so he might as well go on a fishing trip"

A husband and wife give birth to twins...

...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin is adopted by an Egyptian family. His family names him Jamal. Years pass, and one day the couple receives a picture in the mail of Juan.
"Look, honey!", said the wife, "They sent us a picture of Juan! I just wish we could get a picture from Jamal..."
The husband replied, "You don't need one."
"Why?" She asked him.
"Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

On hearing that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, Katie goes straight to her grandparents' house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asks how her grandfather has died, her grandmother replies, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."
Horrified, Katie tells her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having s**... will surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the ding and out on the d**...."
She pauses, wipes away a tear and then continues, "And if that d**... ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these simply the best jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.